Communication Barriers

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Communication Barriers
Communications
MTL Course Topics
COMMUNICATIONS

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
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Communications
MTL Course Topics
ARE YOU READY?
OK, LET’S START!

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
INTRODUCTION
Many people think that communicating is easy. It is after all
something we've done all our lives. We think that as long as
we follow the obvious rules about speaking clearly, writing
accurately and engaging others sufficiently and as long as
others listen quietly, there is no reason why we should not
be understood. There is some truth in this simplistic view.
Communication is straightforward. What makes it complex,
difficult and frustrating are the barriers we put in the way.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
COMMUNICATION BARRIERS
A communications barrier is a block that gets in the way of
clear, free-flowing information between people.
There are seven commonly-occurring barriers:
1. physical barriers, which include distance and
separateness
2. perceptual barriers, which prevent people seeing things
in the same way
3. emotional barriers, which prevent people communicating
openly because of fear
4. cultural barriers, which create climates in which
ineffective communication is the norm
5. language barriers, which prevent people understanding
what is said
6. gender barriers, which are the differences between how
men and women communicate
7. interpersonal barriers, which prevent people forming and
building harmonious relationships.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
PHYSICAL BARRIERS
Physical barriers in the workplace include:
1. marked out territories, empires and fiefdoms into which
strangers are not allowed
2. closed office doors, barrier screens, separate areas for
people of different status
3. large working areas or working in one unit that is
physically separate from others.
Research shows that one of the most important factors in
building cohesive teams is proximity. As long as people still
have a personal space that they can call their own, nearness
to others aids communication because it helps us get to
know one another.
"I don't like that man."
"But you've never even met him."
"Exactly."

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
STROKES
The formalised behaviour of workplaces discourages the
amount of touching that human beings can engage in at
work but this doesn't mean that we do not need to feel
physical contact with others.
Experiments with baby monkeys show that when they are
taken away from their mothers and deprived of physical
contact, they will die, even though there is nothing wrong
with them.
In place of actual physical touch, human beings need
psychological strokes. Strokes are the words and actions
that spell out contact from one person to another.
"Shout at me, tell me off, even discipline me, but don't
ignore me, keep me waiting or stand me up!"

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
TYPES OF STROKE
Strokes may be positive when they are signs of approval or
negative, when they are not. They may be given
conditionally in expectation of something in return or
unconditionally for nothing in return.
There are three levels of stroking...
1. Simple strokes
• nods and smiles
• eye contact held a little longer than normal
• use of someone's name.
2. Recognition strokes
• remembering someone
• handshakes
• noticing changes such as a new hair style.
3. Acceptance strokes
• unprompted spontaneous gestures
• remembering something special about someone
• use of pet names.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
PERCEPTUAL BARRIERS
A traveller was walking down a road when he met a man
from the next town.
"Excuse me," he said. "I am hoping to stay in the next town
tonight. Can you tell me what the townspeople are like?"
"Well," said the townsman, "how did you find the people in
the last town you visited?"
"Oh, they were an irascible bunch. Kept to themselves. Took
me for a fool. Over-charged me for what I got. Gave me very
poor service."
"Well, then," said the townsman, "you'll find them pretty
much the same here.“
Moral: How we see others is never about them. It’s always
about us and our attitude.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
CHECK OUT YOUR ASSUMPTIONS
It’s sometimes said that making assumptions is
the surest way to make an “ass” out of “u” and
“me”.
We make assumptions about people and
situations all the time, particularly in the
workplace where decisions often need to be
made swiftly on incomplete information. The
problem arises when we jump to conclusions
and let our prejudices hold sway.
Good communicators don’t make false
assumptions. They are alert to incomplete and
ambiguous information, know their own
prejudices, and always check their assumptions
out.
Imagine that there is to be an election for a
world leader. There are three candidates.
Candidate 1 associates with crooked politicians
and consults with astrologists. He’s had two
mistresses, chain-smokes, and drinks 8 to 10
martinis a day. Candidate 2 was kicked out of
office twice, sleeps until noon most days, used
opium at college, and drinks a quart of whiskey
every evening. Candidate 3 is a decorated war
hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks
an occasional beer, and hasn’t had any affairs.
Who would you vote for?
Candidate 1 is Franklin Roosevelt; Candidate 2 is
Winston Churchill; and Candidate 3 is Adolf
Hitler.

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Communications
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PICKING UP THE PIECES
A group of managers on a Communications course were
discussing what the point of talking to staff who don't
respond was.
"How do you get your message across to lazy people?"
asked one manager. "Drop a bomb!" someone said.
Another voice asked: "And who picks up the pieces?"
"No pieces," said a voice.
"Well, why don't you just do that to your customers, then?
Just tell them: if you can't be bothered to buy, don't come
back."
The first manager replied: "You can't do that to customers."
"Well, how come you can do it to your employees? Don't
your employees want to have a good relationship with you?
Don't they want to know what's going on? Don't they care?"
"You're kidding! You can't find good people these days. They
just don't want to know."

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Communications
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WHAT YOU SEE...
It is thought that there are at least six perceptual locking on
and off actions in every communication:
1. what you mean to say
2. what you actually say
3. what the other person hears
4. what the other person thinks he hears
5. what the other person says
6. what you think the other person says.
This leaves communications wide-open to
misunderstanding. We mean to say one thing but our
perception means we say something else. Someone replies
saying one thing but our perception picks up only what we
think he says. Our perceptual mind locks on to information
that it wants to hear and locks out information that it
doesn't want to hear. This is the origin of the self-fulfilling
prophecy that says that, whatever we let our minds believe
to be true always ends up being true.

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Communications
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EMOTIONAL BARRIERS
One of the chief barriers to open and free communications
is the emotional barrier. It is comprised mainly of fear,
mistrust and suspicion.
The roots of our emotional mistrust of others lie in our
childhood and infancy when we were taught to be careful
what we said to others. "Mind your P's and Q's"; "Don't
speak until you're spoken to"; "Children should be seen and
not heard".
As a result many people hold back from communicating
their thoughts and feelings to others. They feel vulnerable.
While some caution may be wise in certain relationships,
excessive fear of what others might think of us can stunt our
development as effective communicators and our ability to
form meaningful relationships.

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Communications
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THE FOUR LEVELS OF OK-NESS
A state of OK-ness is how we feel in relation to others and
ourselves. We can categorise each relationship we have with
others according to which of four states of OK-ness it is.
1. I'm not OK, they're not OK. This is a bleak standpoint
conveying distrust and isolation as well as a low level of
confidence in oneself. Communication is zero or very
low.
2. I'm not OK, they're OK. This is a submissive standpoint
based on letting others dominate. Communication is
likely to be reactive, timid and hesitant.
3. I'm OK, they're not OK. This is a superior, aggressive
and disdainful standpoint. Communication is likely to be
one-way, distant and remote.
4. I'm OK, they're OK. This is the basis for win-win,
trusting, co-operative and mutually satisfying
relationships.

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Communications
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THE “NOT-OK” APPROACH
History is littered with examples of how barriers between
people have led not just to poor communication, but to
human disasters.
One such example was the wreck of the British naval fleet in
1707. The fleet were commanded by Admiral Sir Cloudesley
Shovell who had successfully led the navy at the capture of
Barcelona in 1705 and the siege of Toulon in 1707.
On returning home, they ran into trouble near the Isles of
Scilly. A common sailor on the ship, who had been keeping
his own log, warned the Admiral that the fleet were off-
course but Shovell refused to believe that a mere sailor
could know this and had him hanged at the yardarm for
inciting mutiny.
Shortly afterwards, the fleet struck the rocks and was
destroyed with the loss of 1400 lives, including that of Sir
Cloudesley himself. All because of his "I'm OK, you're not"
attitude towards his men.

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Communications
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CULTURAL BARRIERS
When we join a group and wish to remain in it, sooner or
later we need to adopt the behaviour patterns of the group.
These are the behaviours that the group accept as signs of
belonging. The group rewards such behaviour through acts
of recognition, approval and inclusion.
In groups which are happy to accept you, and where you are
happy to conform, there is a mutuality of interest and a high
level of win-win contact. Where, however, there are barriers
to your membership of a group, a high level of game-playing
replaces good communication.
Grandmother: "Cameron, there are two words I don't want
to hear in this house. One's "crap" and the other is "cool"."
Cameron: "OK, Gran. What are the two words?" (Thanks to
Allan Pease)

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
GAMES
In psychological terms, "games" are patterns of interacting
with others that are about confirming our view of others
rather than learning about others. They are carried out
unconsciously, although we make sure they follow a
predictable route. They may have a negative pay-off which is
proof of our view of ourselves or others. ("I told you he was
a fool." "There you are, I told you he would behave like
that!")
Eric Berne, originator of transactional analysis, has
catalogued over 90 different games.
Berne says we play games to give ourselves strokes, albeit
negative ones, and because we enjoy re-counting them to
others and to ourselves. They are also ways of hiding behind
the pain of failed human contact.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
NINE GAMES OF WIN-LOSE
Here are 9 “games” that are often played at
work as substitutes for genuine communication
and contact:
1. Harassed Julie plays this game by rushing
around finding work where none exists as a way
of blaming others for the amount of work she
has to do.
2. Lunch Bag Ian plays this game to make others
feel guilty. While others go off for lunch, Ian
opts out. When they come back, he proves they
were thoughtless leaving him to man the office
alone.
3. Yes, But… In this game, the loser seeks
suggestions for resolving workplace problems
but rejects each one with “yes, but…”. He or she
then complains that the rest of the team are
unhelpful.
4. I’m Only Trying to Help In this game, you
offer help where none is wanted. When you are
rejected, this is proof of how ungrateful others
are.
5. Poor Me The employee depicts him or herself
to the boss as helpless. As a result, the boss
avoids criticising their inadequate work.
6. Hero The boss sets up situations in which the
employee is bound to fail. He or she then steps
in to save the day and become the hero.
7. Kick Me, Go On! In this game, you are feeling
down and someone else adds to your troubles,
proving that everyone is against you.
8. Blemish The boss discovers one blemish in an
otherwise satisfactory piece of work. This is
magnified so that the whole performance looks
bad.
9. Cops and Robbers The employee walks a fine
line between acceptable and unacceptable
behaviour and uses it to show how ineffective
the boss is.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
LANGUAGE BARRIERS
Language that describes what we want to say in our terms
may present barriers to others who are not familiar with our
expressions, buzz-words and jargon. When we couch our
communication in such language, it is a way of excluding
others. In a global market place the greatest compliment we
can pay another person is to talk in their language.
One of the more chilling memories of the Cold War was the
threat by the Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev saying to the
Americans at the United Nations: "We will bury you!" This
was taken to mean a threat of nuclear annihilation.
However, a more accurate reading of Khrushchev’s words
would have been: "We will overtake you!" meaning
economic superiority. It was not just the language, but the
fear and suspicion that the West had of the Soviet Union
that led to the more alarmist and sinister interpretation.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
CHINESE WHISPERS
Chinese whispers (or telephone in the United States) is a
game played around the world, in which one person
whispers a message to another, which is passed through a
line of people until the last player announces the message
to the entire group. Errors typically accumulate in the
retellings, so the statement announced by the last player
differs significantly, and often amusingly, from the one
uttered by the first.
One example of the mistakes in communicating unclearly in
the Chinese Whispers fashion is a story revealed by Garry
Cook, the ex-CEO of Manchester City football club.
It was 2009 and Sheik Mansour had just taken over at the
club and was finalizing his plans. One executive made the
comment along the lines of “it’s all getting messy”. Via the
telephone and other communication lines, this translated
into “Get Messi” and a £30 million bid was tabled for the
superstar. Barcelona rejected the bid and Manchester City
bought Robinho for £32 million instead.

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MTL Course Topics
SOUNDBITES
Each of us and each culture on earth uses its own unique
way of looking at, and describing, their own experiences.
The Hanunoo people of New Guinea, for example, have 92
words for "rice" where English has one; Eskimos have over
100 different words for "snow" where English has one;
Gaelic speakers have over 17 words for "mist" where English
has one.
The workplace often has its own form of English, made up
of jargon and technical phrases; bureaucratese;
gobbledegook; buzz-words; in-phrases; slang; abbreviations;
and in-house jokes or references.
Writer Phillip Duggan recorded this example of an American
government spokesman during the Gulf War: "Well, if we
wanted to tweak Saddam, we've certainly rattled his cage.
But if we want to put him in a box, that's another ball game
and the jury's still out on that one."

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MTL Course Topics
GENDER DIFFERENCES
There are distinct differences between the speech patterns
in a man and those in a woman. A woman speaks between
22,000 and 25,000 words a day whereas a man speaks
between 7,000 and 10,000. In childhood, girls speak earlier
than boys and at the age of three, have a vocabulary twice
that of boys.
The reason for this lies in the wiring of a man's and woman's
brains. When a man talks, his speech is located in the left
side of the brain but in no specific area. When a woman
talks, the speech is located in both hemispheres and in two
specific locations.
This means that a man talks in a linear, logical and
compartmentalised way, features of left-brain thinking;
whereas a woman talks more freely mixing logic and
emotion, features of both sides of the brain. It also explains
why women talk for much longer than men each day.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
SEEING THINGS DIFFERENTLY
A woman has a 10% thicker connecting cord between the
right and left sides of her brain. She also has 30% more
connections. As a result, she can do several unrelated things
at once without her brain being disconnected. She can talk
on the phone, cook a meal, watch TV, put on her lipstick.
Men's brains are compartmentalised and can only do one
thing well at a time. If a man is shaving and you interrupt
him, he'll likely cut himself. If you talk to him while he's
driving, he'll likely miss the turn-off.
For a woman, speech has a clear purpose: to build
relationships. For a man, speech is about solving problems,
by conveying and analysing information.
Hence the difference in focus. A woman looks in a fridge and
can see the whole contents at a glance. A man, on the other
hand, focuses on one thing at a time, looking for familiar
objects and words he recognizes.

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SEX MATTERS
The age-old difference between the sexes is not just a
cultural and sexual issue; it is also a matter of the way we
see and hear.
1. genetically, women have two X chromosomes compared
to men's one. This gives women more cone-shaped cells
in their eyes and allows them to have superior colour
vision.
2. women have wider peripheral vision. As traditional
nest-builders and defenders, women's brains have
developed a 180 degree vision to each side of the head.
By contrast, a man's vision has developed to form a kind
of tunnel vision, valuable for hunting and seeing long
distances.
3. there are also differences in the ways men and women
listen. A man is slower to interrupt and rarely uses facial
expressions. A woman, on the other hand, has more
flowing emotive thoughts and will show these in facial
looks and body language.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
WHALES
Whales are highly-developed creatures in their ability to
communicate with each other. Their sounds and signals can
be transmitted across miles of sea to other whales. No
whale has ever been known to harm another of its kind.
WHALES is also a mnemonic for the six features of the
human equivalent of a master communicator:
W - Whole: their words, actions and behaviour fit together
H - Healthy: they have a positive outlook on others and
themselves
A - Aware: they can observe themselves and others
L - Learning: they are open to learning from others
E - Exploring: they are ready to take risks
S - Spontaneous: they are able to be their true selves
without pretence.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
INTERPERSONAL BARRIERS
There are six levels at which people can distance themselves
from one another:
1. Withdrawal. Withdrawal is an absence of interpersonal
contact. It is both refusal to be in touch and time alone.
2. Rituals. Rituals are meaningless, repetitive routines
devoid of real contact.
3. Pastimes. Pastimes fill up time with others in social but
superficial activities.
4. Working. Working activities are those tasks which follow
the rules and procedures of contact but no more.
5. Games. Games are subtle, manipulative interactions
which are about winning and losing. They include "rackets"
and "stamps".
6. Closeness. Closeness is the aim of interpersonal contact
where there is a high level of honesty and acceptance of
yourself and others.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
RACKETS
A "racket" is a way of emotionally threatening someone if
they don't do what you want but offering them protection
from the threat if they do. It is a psychological term
borrowed from the gangster "rackets" of the age of
protectionism.
The typical stages in a racket are...
1. you are about to do something I don't like
2. if you go ahead, I'll get angry
3. I will therefore blame you for my anger
4. I will protect you from my anger if you do what I want.
When John comes home and finds his wife preparing a
salad, he lets her know from his frowns that he doesn't
want salad. The next 20 minutes are spent in a series of
mutterings. Mary gets the message that if she wants a quiet
evening she'd better make chips.

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
STAMPS
Like the trading stamps given away in the early days of retail
shopping, psychological stamps are feelings which can be
built up and traded in at a later date for a piece of
emotional self-indulgence.
Stamps can be both positive and negative. For example,
when we've collected lots of good feelings, we feel we have
the right to reward ourselves with a treat, such as time off
from work; on the other hand, when we've built up lots of
bad feelings, we feel we have the right to trade them in for a
large tantrum or explosion of anger. The more stamps (ie
feelings) we collect, the bigger the trade-in (ie outburst).
Because others do not know how many stamps we've
collected, the eventual trade-in can sometimes come as an
unexpected surprise, either in positive terms as a pleasant
event or more likely, in negative terms as a tirade against
someone..

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Communications
MTL Course Topics
BREAKING OUT OF THE BARRIERS
Many of the barriers in communications arise because we
lack the skills and techniques to overcome our fears about
making genuine contact with other people.
So, here, courtesy of Richard Denny, author of
"Communicate to Win", are 10 tips to send you crashing
through the barriers.
1. speak to people
2. smile at people
3. address people by name
4. be warm, friendly, and helpful
5. be enthusiastic about life
6. be genuinely interested in other people
7. look for the chance to praise
8. be considerate of others' feelings
9. be thoughtful and respectful of others' opinions
10. be a great listener.

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MTL Course Topics
THAT’S
IT!
WELL DONE!

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MTL Course Topics
THANK YOU
This has been a Slide Topic from Manage Train Learn

Communication Barriers

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