How To Develop A Successful Thesis Statement

1. HOW TO
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DEVELOP A SUCCESSFUL THESIS STATEMENT

2. An essay must have a main point, main idea or central
message. There are other specific arguments in it and they
should support or reflect the main idea. Such main point or
central message is the thesis. It is written as the thesis
statement.
BONUS TIP:
You can apply this to anything you write or create like
blog posts or posters for the internet for example – You
should have a main point or central message.
THE THESIS STATEMENT

3. Thesis statement writing is a process. Your goal is to
come up with one or two sentences that can convey or
state your opinion or position about the topic.
The thesis statement should be able to tell readers:
1. the topic (what the essay is about) and
2. your opinion on the topic
WRITING THE THESIS STATEMENT: DEVELOPING IT

4. Your thesis or thesis statement is the product of your
research. In turn, it will be your guide when you write
your essay. In the writing phase of your essay writing
process, you should always refer to your thesis statement
to keep everything on track and focused.
RESEARCH – THESIS – WRITING

5. The thesis statement is written as part of the
introduction. Usually, it is on the end portion of a one-
paragraph introduction for short essays or at the
beginning of the second paragraph of the introduction of
longer essays. Never it is in the middle of any paragraph
where it will be buried and may be entirely missed.
It is part of the introduction because it gives readers
an overview (at the start) of what you would like to say
or do in your essay.
LOCATION OF THE THESIS STATEMENT

6. STATING YOUR THESIS -
CLEARLY
State your thesis as clearly as possible and as specific
as possible. Avoid using vague words.
State your message, point or what you would like to
do or achieve.
However, do not state it in an “elementary” or very
simplistic ways.

7. STATING YOUR THESIS -
AVOID “SIMPLICITY”
Examples of elementary of very simplistic statements to avoid:
A. “My goal for writing this essay is...”
B. “The point of my paper is...”
C. “The message I would like to convey is...”
What to do:
Just state your opinion or comment on the topic right away.
You do not need to use the above mentioned “statements to
avoid” when stating your thesis.

8. A thesis is developed and so is how it is stated or its
thesis statement. Coming up with a thesis is a process
and most of it is done during the research phase of
your essay writing process.
Also, stating the thesis or thesis statement writing
is a process and it is mostly done during the writing
phase of your essay writing process.
DEVELOPING YOUR THESIS

9. As you wind down your research, come up with an initial
thesis and proceed with refining or revising your arguments,
you also refine your thesis and how you state it.
In the process, you continually obtain a better sense of
what your argument is and where it is taking you.
Together with this, you continually refine your thesis and
how you state it. All along, you should aim to make these
clearer and more specific.
REFINING PROCESS:
TOWARDS BEING CLEAR AND SPECIFIC

10. Here are guide questions to help you check your thesis.
★ Does my thesis involve two major statements which are
loosely connected by a coordinating conjunction?
(examples of coordinating conjunctions: and, but, or, for,
nor, so, yet)
★ Will using a subordinating conjunction help to indicate a
relationship between the two sentences? (examples of
subordinating conjunctions: through, although, because,
since)
CHECK YOUR THESIS

11. Check whether your thesis is too general. If it is,
narrow it down. It should be narrow enough or specific
enough that all of it will be covered by your essay.
Remember that your essay is limited by the time you
have, the research resources and even a given maximum
word count. If your essay will not be able to cover all
of what is mentioned or included in your thesis, you
should narrow the latter down.
NARROWING DOWN FROM A GENERAL THESIS

12. Here are guide questions to help you check your thesis.
★ Alternatively, do the two statements cause the thesis to
appear or be fuzzy and unfocused?
★ If your answer to the above Question No. 3 is YES, highly
consider settling on one single focus and then develop it
further.
CHECK YOUR THESIS

13. NARROWING DOWN FROM A GENERAL THESIS -
STRAIGHT TO THE IMPORTANT
To narrow or make your thesis more specific, determine
what is important or substantial about it or about the
topic. Then, get straight to such important point or aspect.
YOUR GOAL: focused, narrow, and crisp thesis
NOT YOUR GOAL: broad, sprawling, or superficial
thesis

14. EXAMPLE
An example of a broad thesis and its better revision which is
more focused:
initial thesis (broad):
“Good manners, right conduct and etiquette have
experienced a great deterioration in the present society.”

15. EXAMPLE
An example of a broad thesis and its better revision which is
more focused:
revised thesis (more focused):
“Because of the lack of guidance and the emergence of
wrong guidance, the present crop of young working people
do not have the right attitude and thinking towards work.”

16. Your whole essay should be clear. That includes, more
especially, your thesis statement. You should make it as clear
as possible. The purpose is to communicate your message
clearly to your readers.
USE CLEAR LANGUAGE

17. Jargon, technical language, vague words, and abstract words are
useless especially when readers do not understand them. Worse,
they can even lead readers to miss what you really want to tell
them.
★ avoid jargon or technical terms or language, except when you
are confident that your readers are or will be familiar with
them when they read or when you are writing a technical
report
★ avoid vague words like interesting, exciting, negative,
difficult, unusual, etc.
★ avoid abstract words like culture, society, values, etc.
USE CLEAR LANGUAGE - TIPS

18. USE CLEAR LANGUAGE -
DEFINE TERMS
Do not assume that the meaning of a sentence is obvious.
Evaluate whether you should define terms you are using like
conventional, socialism, society, commercialism, etc. If you need
to do define some terms, decide where best to put them.

19. EXAMPLE
An example of a vague thesis and its better revision which is
clear:
initial thesis (vague):
“People think that it is natural for crocodiles eat people.
However, crocodiles eat people because the people
destroyed the crocodiles' homes.”

20. EXAMPLE
An example of a vague thesis and its better revision which is
clear:
revised thesis (clear):
“People think that the sole reason why crocodiles attack
people is to eat them. However, the root cause of such
attacking is that there are no longer food in their habitat
because the people have destroyed it for profit.”

21. INCLUDE YOUR OPINION
Present the topic or issue and give your opinion about it.
★ Tell what your stand on the topic is.
★ Tell how you will analyse or evaluate the topic or
the issue.
★ Do not simply state a general fact or give a
statement involving a pro and a con about the
subject.
★ Give a concrete statement of what you think
regarding the topic.

22. ★ Show that your opinion on the issue is useful.
EXAMPLE
initial thesis (useless statement):
“Through this essay, I will talk about life experiences
and personality and how they factor in the actions and
character of a person.”

23. EXAMPLE
revised thesis (useful opinion):
“Life experiences are very influential factors to a
person's actions and character; however, evidence
demonstrate that personality itself is a more influential
factor.”

24. Avoid presenting judgements which are universal or
pro/con and which approach with too much simplicity
what are truly complex issues.

25. EXAMPLE
initial thesis (oversimplifies):
“We must not destroy the habitat of animals.”

26. EXAMPLE
revised thesis (your opinion sufficiently approaches and
treats the topic):
“We must see to it that animals' habitats are protected
because their destruction will lead to environmental
imbalance, climate change and natural disasters.”

27. INCLUDE YOUR OPINION -
GIVE SPECIFIC, JUSTIFIED REASON
When making a judgement call that is subjective, you
should give specific reasons and justify it. For your
argument to have a good reason, it should be not “just
because.”

28. EXAMPLE
initial thesis (subjective and without specific, justified
reason):
“An authoritarian leader is the best for Country XXX.”

29. EXAMPLE
revised thesis (having specific, justified reason):
“If the leader of Country XXX is authoritarian, it will
progress because their poverty is caused by crime.”

30. INCLUDE YOUR OPINION -
SHOW WHY YOUR POINTS MATTERS
Avoid merely stating a fact. Go beyond proven facts. Say
more with your ideas. This way, what you present is
something that warrants attention. Then, use this interest to
show why or how your point matters.

31. EXAMPLE
initial thesis (mere statement of fact):
“The system of the Finance Department broke down.”

32. EXAMPLE
revised thesis (going beyond stating facts):
“The breakdown of the system of the Finance
Department exposed the corruption that have been going
on for many years.”

33. Be patient with your thesis statement writing. Remember
that it is a process of development. It is thesis statement
development or thesis development.
You may arrive at a fully formulated thesis statement as
late as you have finished writing your essay. Your thesis
may change as you research, develop ideas and your essay's
outline. A tentative, initial or “working” thesis will help you
as you start. You revise along the way as your essay writing
process goes on.
IMPORTANT REMINDER: BE PATIENT

34. Avoid generic arguments and formula statements.
Nevertheless, you can use them in the early stages of starting
to develop your thesis. If you do so have them, you should
proceed with continually revising them with the aim of
expressing your real ideas which are more specific and, thus,
original.
BE ORIGINAL

35. BE ORIGINAL -
MAKE A POINT THAT MATTERS
The point you raise in your thesis should matter. Be
prepared to:
1. answer the question “So what?” regarding your thesis
2. explain why your point warrants writing an essay and, at
the same time, warrants reading from your target audience

36. EXAMPLE
initial thesis (generic and formulaic):
“Applying a principle sheerly on all or any situation will
solve the problem.”
revised thesis (specific point that matters):
“A problem solver should treat a situation differently from
others so that he can solve the problem.”

37. BE ORIGINAL -
AVOID FORMULA AND GENERIC WORDS
Avoid using formula and generic words. Use concrete
subjects and active verbs. As much as possible, revise “to be”
verbs. Specific word choice sharpens and clarifies meaning.

38. EXAMPLE
initial thesis (with formula and generic words):
“The present workforce...” [who is this “present workforce”
and what what exactly is it doing?]

39. EXAMPLE
revised thesis (using concrete subjects, active verbs, specific
words that sharpen and clarify meaning):
“Young urban office employees...” initial thesis (with
formula and generic words): using: is, are, was, to be, to do,
to make revised thesi

40. Go and develop your thesis. Go and develop your
thesis statement. They are processes of development.
Use your own words. Avoid quoting. Aim to develop
an original, insightful, and memorable thesis.
As a student and a writer, you build and protect
your credibility. Merely following, using or copying
another person's – author, another student – ideas will
harm you.

41. You can improve your performance and character
as a student if you are able to develop a well-written
thesis statement which reflects well-researched ideas.
These manifest that you are intelligent, committed and
enthusiastic.