Ethan Chazin presentation on Emotional Intelligence March 27, 2019 at event hosted by Affinity Federal Credit Union.

1. Apply Emotional Intelligence
to Advance Your Career.

2. Thank You!
Flutur Nitting Cheryl Errico

3. What is…
EI?

4. What is…EI?

5. To wit…

6. 6
• The ability to recognize and
regulate emotions in ourselves.
• A Constant 4 Step Process:
1. Self Awareness;
2. Self-Management;
3. Social Awareness; and
4. Social Management
What is EI

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• Information to gain self and social –
awareness/management.
• Your ability to:
– Perceive emotions in yourself & others.
– Understand the meaning of your emotions.
– Regulate your emotions.
• A strong correlation between high EI and
career/professional success.
What is EI?

8. The
Godfather
(Architect)
of EI

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• 25 Key Competencies in 5 Clusters:
1. Self Awareness: emotional awareness, accurate
self-assessment, self-confidence.
2. Self-Regulation: Self-control, trustworthiness,
Conscientiousness, Adaptability, Innovation.
3. Motivation: Achievement drive, commitment,
initiative, optimism.
4. Empathy: Understanding/developing others,
service orientation, leveraging diversity, political
awareness.
5. Social Skills: Influence, communication, conflict
resolution, leadership, change catalyst, building
bonds, collaboration/cooperation, team abilities.
Goleman’s Research

11. Why EI Matters

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• Influences employee performance &
productivity:
–Appropriate workplace responses.
–More productive/valuable relationships.
–Leads to physical wellness and mental
health.
Why EI Matters

13. Organizational
Commitment

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• Positive impact on:
– Increased job performance.
– Reduced turnover.
– Greater engagement.
– Less employee withdrawal.
– Lower absenteeism.
– Greater employee citizenship.
Org. Commitment

15. Getting your people help
www.mentalhealthfirst aid.org

16. Emotion Regulation

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• Identify/modify the emotions you feel.
• Surface Acting: putting on a face.
• Venting: open display of emotion.
• People in good moods make better
decisions, are more creative, motivate
others.
• Emotional states affect employee levels
of customer care.
• Increasing use of “happiness” coaches in
organizations.
Emotion Regulation

18. How to “Do” EI

19. Get Good At It
• Pay attention to others.
• Acknowledge emotions not as good or
bad (right/wrong) but as a source of
information.
• Watch for sudden changes in people’s
behaviors.
• Listen! God gave us 2 ears but only
1 mouth for a REASON.

20. Get Good At It
• You HAVE to care about others.
• Treat your employees like clients
and clients like employees.
• See the signs…BODY LANGUAGE.
• Avoid passing judgement on others.
• Enter EVERY conversation with a
willingness to have your position
changed.

21. Self-Introspection

22. Urgent Mindfulness

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• Avoid life’s MANY distractions:
– Work, the internet, your own brain.
– Social media and other digital distractions.
– Too many things coming at me all at once.
– Work-Life Balance…a vicious fallacy.
– Lack of control. Urgent things come up that
need to be investigated/fixed right away.
Being in the Present

24. Non-Verbal
Communications

25. Body Language

26. Non-Verbal Comm
• Communication through sending & receiving
wordless (mostly visual) messages.
• Messages communicated by gestures and
touch, body language or posture, facial
expression, eye contact.
• Material exponential (objects or artifacts) like
clothing, hairstyles.
• Speech contains nonverbal elements
(paralanguage) including: voice quality, rate,
pitch, volume, speaking style, and prosodic
features such as rhythm, intonation, stress.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_communication

27. Non-Verbal Cues
• Mirroring technique.
• Lean in to express interest.
• Avoid eye-rolling, turning your back,
yawning, talking over others.
• Arm-crossing.

28. Leaning in
(receptive)
Guarded/
defensive

30. L
B
J

31. Reading Emotions From Faces
CEO % Positive
Bill Gates 73%
Warren Buffet 69%
Phil Knight 67%
Jeff Bezos 51%
Michael Dell 47%
Donald Trump 16%
Larry Ellison 0%Dan Hill CEO Facial Expressions Research

32. Personality

33. What is
Personality?

34. “The dynamic organization
within the individual of those
psychophysical systems that
determine one’s unique
adjustments to their
environment.”
Gordon Alport

35. 1. EXTRAVERSION: How comfortable we are
with relationships.
2. AGREEABLENESS: How warm and trusting are
you?
3. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS: Responsible,
dependable, organized and persistent.
4. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: Ability to withstand
stress.
5. OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE: Range of
interests and fascination with novelty.
Big 5 Personality States
verywellmind.com/the-big-five-personality-dimensions-2795422

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• Pragmatic: maintaining emotional
distance and subscribe to: “The
end justifies the means.”
• Seeking power.
• Manipulating and winning MORE; be
persuasive.
• Acting aggressively.
• More likely to engage in
counterproductive work behavior.
1. Machiavellianism

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• Self-centered.
• High sense of self-worth.
• Grandiose sense of self-importance.
• Demands excessive admiration.
• More charismatic.
• Sense of entitlement.
• Love me!
2. Narcissism

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• A lack of concern for others.
• Lack of guilt/remorse when actions
cause harm.
• Inconclusive research about
psychopathy and impact on job
performance.
• Use of threats and manipulation.
3. Psychopathy

41. Some
Definitions

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• Affect: Broad range of feelings that
people experience. Can be
experienced as emotions or moods.
• Emotions: Intense feelings directed
at someone or something.
• Moods: Less intense than emotions,
often arise without a specific event
acting as a trigger.
• The Structure of Mood: Positive
vs. Negative Affect.
What’s an “AFFECT”

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• Do emotions make us irrational?
Research says showing emotions makes
us MORE rational.
• Do emotions make us ethical?
• Our beliefs are formed by the groups
(social & professional) we belong to.
The Function of Emotions

44. Connecting
Emotions &
Learning

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• Research conducted by neuroscientists like
Antonio Damasio prove a strong
connection between emotions and learning.
• Emotions help us assign value to
things…guide us to what we want.
• Emotions teach us what to pay attention to,
care about, and remember.
• Extreme negative emotions (FEAR) have a
devastating effect on our ability to learn.
• The TAKE-AWAY…
Emotions & Learning

46. We ALL Have Needs

48. 5 levels of
employee need.

49. Stated
Real
Unstated
Secret
Delight
Translation
Required
Empathy
Required

50. MUTUAL SYMBIOSIS
What does your
employer
offer, and vice
versa?

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• A sense of belonging.
• Cultural EI.
• Shared values and beliefs.
• Feeling of accomplishment.
• A livelihood.
• Career mobility.
• Engagement, motivation,
recognition, rewards?
• In short, a COMPASSIONATE workplace
culture.
Do You Provide

52. Emotional Labor

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• Employee expression of organizationally
desired emotions during interpersonal
transactions at work.
• Emotional dissonance: “Faking it.”
Having to show one emotion but feeling
another.
• Match your personality and values to
Matheny’s informal culture.
Emotional Labor

54. We Lose EI Cues in
a Increasingly
Virtual World

55. More for you
to ponder…

56. Conflict Resolution

57. We don’t always create conflict
in our lives but we can
always choose our response
to it.

58. When is it appropriate to use each of
the 4 styles to resolve conflict?
• Competing/Forcing (win-lose)
– Often appropriate when: Emergency; quick decision is
necessary and no time to deliberate; issue is trivial and others
don’t care what happens.
– Often inappropriate when: Collaboration has not yet been
attempted; cooperation from other is important; used routinely for
most issues; self-respect of others is diminished needlessly.
• Accommodating (lose-win)
– Often appropriate when: Result isn’t important to you, but it is
to the other person; satisfying the other person is priority; you
realize you’re wrong.
– Often inappropriate when: You are likely to harbor resentment;
used habitually to gain acceptance.

59. When is it appropriate to use each of
the styles for resolving conflict?
• Collaboration (win-win)
– Often appropriate when: the issues and relationships are both
significant; cooperation is important; a creative end is important;
reasonable hope exists to address all concerns.
– Often inappropriate when: time is short; the issues aren’t
important; you’re overloaded; the goals of the other person are
certainly wrong.
• Avoiding (lose-lose)
– Often appropriate when: Results aren’t important, stakes aren’t
high. Pick your battles; relationship is insignificant; time is short and
decision is not important.
– Often inappropriate when: You care about the relationship and the
issue; used habitually for most issues; negative feelings may linger;
others would benefit from caring confrontation.

60. Know Your Hot Buttons & Hooks
What are your “hot buttons”?
– Things which get you to feel guilty, hurt, or angry.
– You perceive that you’re not being heard or understood.
– You find yourself repeating your case or getting louder.
– You feel challenged or judged.
– You find yourself being hurtful or judgmental.
When you get “hooked”
– Recognize it, acknowledge it.
– Listen, don’t react.
– Take a break … don’t try to resolve until you feel ready.
– Get support from someone who can help you see things more
objectively (less emotionally).

61. Paraphrasing
• Paraphrasing is expressing the meaning of the
writer/speaker using different words to confirm
your understanding.
• “If I understood you correctly, you were
saying…”
• Why paraphrase what an employee/co-worker
says?
• What happens when you don’t paraphrase?

62. Reflecting
• Reflecting is thinking back on what someone
said to you as a learning moment to improve
self-regulation and self-management.
• Why reflect on what a co-worker/ employee
says?
• What happens when you don’t reflect?

63. Empathy
1. Why is Empathy important?
2. How do you show empathy?
3. When empathy is not shown in a situation,
what can be the result?
4. Avoid at all costs:
– Minimizing.
– Judging.
– Problem-solving (right away).
– Blaming.
– Criticizing.

64. “I” Message/Statement
“ When you state the action, I feel
_________ because ___________
(situation, consequence, result).
“What I would like you to do is to
____________.”

65. • I messages enable you to tell others why you
feel strongly on an issue.
• Why is this an important practice to perfect?
• What happens when you don’t use I
messages?
“I” Message/Statement

66. Conduct an organization audit

67. Self-awareness makes it
easier to understand our
own needs and likely
reactions if/when events
occur thus giving one the
option to consider other
solutions.

68. S
My

69. “Your work is
going to fill a large
part of your life,
and the only way
to be truly
satisfied is to do
what you believe is
great work...”

70. EVERY
organization
should
measure the
QUALITY of its
people’s
emotional
relationships.

71. Ask
Questions!

72. Assessment
Tools

73. EI Assessment Tools
 Bar-On Emotional Quotient Inventory.
 Emotional & Social Competence Inventory.
 Genos EI Inventory.
 Group Emotional Competency Inventory.
 Mayer-Salovey-Caruso EI test (MSCEIT).
 Schutte Self Report EI test.
 Trait EI Questionnaire.
 Work Group EI Profile.
 Wong EI Scale.

74. More Tools
• Change Style Indicator (Discovery
Learning) - how receptive are you to
change.
• Personality assessments:
 Myers Briggs Type Indicator
 MAPP Career Test: www.assessment.com
 16 personality types: personalitypage.com/high-
level.html
 Keirsey Assessment
 Birkman Method
 DISC (for Sales professionals)

75. 1. Human Metrics: humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm
2. Click “Do it” take MBTI assessment (72 questions).
3. When done, select “Score it”.

76. Amazon , B&N.com
$15.00

77. LinkedIn.com/in/ethanchazin
Twitter: @EthanChazin
TheChazinGroup.com
Ethan@TheChazinGroup.com
CELL: (917) 239-5571
Contact Me

78. Thank You!