Speaking up is an essential act when the business is getting off track. Know what to say and how to say it are key to sustainable success in this endeavor

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www.PathfinderCommunication.com
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OK – So What Do I SAY??
SAY??
– Techniques For Great Communication
Gregg Oliver
gregg@PFComm.com
858-245-9802
V1.0
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It’s Hard Sometimes
Approaches to Problem Solving
(Garvin & Roberto)
Characteristic Advocacy Inquiry
Concept of Decision A contest Collaborative problem
Making solving
Purpose of discussion Persuasion and lobbying Testing and evaluating
Participant’s role Spokespeople Critical thinkers
Patterns of behavior •Strive to persuade •Present balanced
others arguments
•Defend your position •Remain open to
•Downplay weaknesses alternatives
•Accept constructive
criticism
Minority Views Discouraged or dismissed Cultivated and valued
Outcome Winners and losers Collective ownership
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Behaviors Demonstrate Unexpressed Feelings
Silence Violence
Range of Feelings
Aggressive
Passive
Ideal
Why Risk It?
We React to the Risk
 Exposure to criticism (see: ridicule)
 Damage to relationship
 Changing our beliefs
Why Have the Conversation?
 Outcome Matters
 Willing Assent
 Engagement and Cooperation
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Communication Factors
 Behavior
◦ Character Beliefs
◦ Environment
 Skills
◦ Training (for most of us, little practical training)
◦ Learning
Exchanges
 Current and Proposed State of Things
 Beliefs, Emotions, and Behaviors
 Meta-Exchanges
 Understand Their Side
 Explain Your Side
 Resolve the Differences
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Groundwork for a Conversation
•Tentative
•Identify the most pressing issue •Humble
•Clarify the issue with as much detail •Empathy
•Determine the current impact in detail
•Determine the consequences if nothing changes •Simple & Sincere
•Examine the contribution system for the issue •Curious
•Imagine the ideal outcome •Openness
•Respect
•Engagement
•What Do We Both Want to Accomplish?
•What Do We Both Want to Gain?
Before we initiate anything…
◦ Is the relationship bad, neutral, or good?
 Impact – how much does this person influence my life?
 Interface – how easy and effective are our exchanges?
 Intensity – how frequently and deeply do we interact?
 Imposition – how much am I willing to sacrifice for this person?
 Interests – does this person have my best interests at heart?
◦ Relationships are either “bad” or “not bad”
 Any behavior we accept is, by definition, acceptable behavior
 We contribute to bad relationships in that we are complicit
 We control boundaries
◦ The only time we shouldn’t be actively cultivating “not
bad” relationships is when we are in a critical discussion.
◦ Cultivate bad relationships when you feel like it
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Credibility
◦ Competence
 Background and Training
 Good track record
◦ Trustworthiness
 Good Will
 Eyewitness Access to Information
◦ Dynamism
 Active, Accessible, Engaged
Relationships
You Have to Know The Score
Tentativeness
Humility
Empathy
Simplicity & Sincerity
Curiosity
Openness
Respect
Engagement
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Addressing Controversial Content
Activity Conveying
Asking Questions Interest in reasoning; Respect
Evidence Mindfulness; Diligence; Rigor
Inference Expertise; Credibility
Addressing Unexpressed Emotions
Activity Conveying
Listening Interest; Engagement
Prefacing Acknowledging Difficulty; Commitment
Clarifying Explicitness; Simplicity
Benefit of the Doubt Trust; Respect
Commitment Engagement; Mutuality
Sincerity Candor; Genuineness
Asking for Guidance Trust; Respect
Apologizing Respect; Mutuality
Impact and Consequence Mutuality; Importance; Realism
Connection to Self / Importance;Validity
Personalizing
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Summary
 Start with your Credibility and Behavior
 Navigate the Risk with Improved Skills
 Agree on the Mutual Purpose and Objectives
 Agree on the Nature of the Impacts
 Practice all the Time
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