Importance of Pre and Post Marital Therapy By Ms. Paulomi Pandit Upadhyay
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Importance of Pre and Post Marital Therapy By Ms. Paulomi Pandit Upadhyay
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Importance of Pre and Post Marital Therapy By Ms. Paulomi Pandit Upadhyay
- 1. IMPORTANCE OF PRE AND POST MARITAL COUNSELLINGPaulomi Pandit Upadhyay Psychologist |Trainer | HypnoBirthing Practitioner www.paulomipandit.com
- 2. Pre marital: happens before marriage (may or may not include distress) Post marital means counselling that takes place after marriage. Marital counselling is a type of Family counselling used for one or both members of a couple when there is distress in their relationship.
- 3. Passion Realization Rebellion Cooperation Reunion Explosion Completion Sari Harrar and Rita M DeMaria
- 4. Tadka in Indian Marriages
- 5. Family set up Parenting styles Gender role expectations Arranged marriage Customs and rituals Lack of awareness and faith on Mental health and wellness
- 7. Important factors Finances Career Communication Beliefs and values Marriage roles Affection, intimacy and sex Children and parenting Family relationships Dealing with anger Quality time spent together
- 8. WAYS IN WHICH COUNSELLING CAN BE DONE…
- 9. Face to face Online Workshops/seminars Tests and questionnaires Religious groups
- 10. BENEFITS
- 11. Better communication skills Certain issues get avoided Problems get a resolution sooner Eliminate or reduce anxiety about new life Easier goal achievement (personal and professional) You will get a better framework on your relationship More insights about self Time to work on yourself You receive support and guidance to better the relationship
- 12. Points to remember • There is no competition here • Please do not cheat in any answers you give • Avoid taunts or comments on any discussion (with partner) • Be ready for challenges • Avoid discussions about the sessions • Your efforts are of utmost importance!
- 13. Ask these questions to yourself! • Expectations from partner (both ways) • Views about children • Will my parents and the partner get along? • Would I choose such a partner for someone very similar to me and close to me. • Can he/she be a good parent • Would children learn good qualities from him/her? • How much could I accept him/her with his/her traits and qualities?And vice versa • Does he/she support my career? And vice versa • How comfortable is my partner with my friends of the same as well as opposite gender? How comfortable am I with the same?
- 15. Lack of communication skills Infidelity Spouse abuse Substance abuse Incompatibility in sex life Financial concerns Unexplored Health concerns Unforeseen difficulties Unplanned pregnancy Lack of relationship framework Role expectations by parents Clash of belief system
- 17. When there are too many arguments with no resolution One or both partners have had or are considering having an affair Staying together for children Staying together for societal/financial reasons When there is too little or no communication When the only solutions appears to be separation Both or one partner feels disinterested
- 19. • Rejuvenate the connection • Bring back lost intimacy • Better communication and understanding • Better problem resolution • Better balance of personal and professional areas
- 21. Listen to your partner Don’t plan a child to resolve issues Observe your own behaviour Make a note of things you would like to change in yourself* Avoid bringing past conflicts to current ones Respect differences and bridge the gap Avoid using children/parents as threats Have some couple time at least once in 10 days Equal participation in child rearing practises
- 23. Help you with venting emotions Give you insights Help you get trained in skills you need for a better relationship Help you achieve desirable mental states to function effectively
- 24. What to expect
- 25. Joint meeting Goal discussion Individual sessions Dealing with unpleasant emotions/feelings Understanding and overcoming undesired beliefs Home work assignments
- 26. Please remember You are different even if you’re attracted Expect surprises Don’t let others dictate terms Understand and model a couple of your choice Analyse yourself Commit that you'll do your best to make it work!
- 27. Your role as parents/other family members of a couple • Avoid participating in the arguments • Avoid taking sides • Understand the ground rules first • Do not attach your complains • Don’t judge their understanding as a couple • Avoid blaming anyone • Understand and respect the generation gap! • Avoid gossip as a vent out mechanism
- 28. Things you must do as a responsible family member • Act on the ground rules!!! • Give privacy • Treat the partners like partners • Treat your daughter in law the way you want your daughter to be treated (ditto for son in law) • Express concern in private and show support • Be a positive influence • Encourage them to seek help