What really makes us do the things we do?

Ifat Dook - Mediator, Coach, Lecturer
So… what really makes us do the things we do?
An inquisitive journey into our subconscious mind
A presentation of Tony Robbins’ “Six Human Needs” model
plus a powerful exercise to transform your life

Background:
 Tony Robbins, a well known Life &Business Strategist, introduced his
theory of the six human needs in 2006 at one of the first and most
viewed TED talks of all times.
 Tony claimed that even though human beings around the world don’t
share the same background, culture or beliefs, they still share the same
mechanism that drives their actions and desires.
 This mechanism is defined as the six human needs.
 Even though we have different goals and targets in life, we all have the
same needs.
 Those needs manage our lives. They are much stronger than goals or
dreams– people will give those up to meet their needs!

So are we actually all the same?

 We all have the same needs but the difference is:
 Which top two needs each person values most
 What beliefs we have on how to meet those needs
 People meet their needs in positive, negative or neutral ways.
 Most people meet their needs in a way that works in the moment but is not
attainable or sustainable in the long term.
 The ideal is that we fulfill our needs in a way which will empower us and
those around us.
Six human needs - the basics:

So which are the needs that control YOU?

 If you are a “certainty” driven person you will find something to hold on to so you’ll
have stability in your life and feel comfortable & secure.
 It can be your job, your family, a religious faith, your belief in yourself.
 Certainty/Stability is a survival need that all of us have, but if it is of higher value for you,
you may find yourself staying way too long in places which are no longer right for you.
Need #1 – Certainty/Stability

 If you are an “uncertainty driven person” you will find yourself looking for the “roller
coaster” in life to add extra spice.
 It can be extreme sports, traveling adventures, seeking new opportunities or even
drinking alcohol or using drugs
 Some can find variety by seeing something new in familiar things. Those kind of people
have an ongoing source of excitement in their lives.
Need #2 - Uncertainty/Variety

 If you are a “significance driven person” you need to feel special, unique, important and
needed.
 You can feel significant by the money you earn, the influence you have, the way you dress
or even the amount of problems you have.
 You usually need to feel more than others to hold on to your value - more intelligent, more
successful, higher moral values.
Need #3 - Significance

 If you are a “connection driven person” you might find yourself loyal to an organization,
q group or an idea.
 You might hold on to a relationship or a specific work place just to feel connected.
 Connection may take the form of love or merely intense engagement. Love can sometimes
be an emotional threat so some of us might desire love but settle for connection.
Need #4 - Connection / Love

 These four needs are called the “needs of the personality”.
 Holding to them creates several internal paradoxes:
1. As much as we need certainty, always knowing in advance what will happen, how &
when, will bore us. So we continue moving between our competing needs for stability
and variety.
2. The more we need to feel significant, the less we will feel connected.
Being significant makes a person stand apart from the crowd, alone and
disconnected.
3. And last, while we invest a tremendous effort to fulfill these needs, it is an endless
journey. In fulfilling the needs of personality, we will experience momentary pleasure,
but never be completely satisfied.
The human needs paradox:

 These last two needs are called “needs of the sprit”.
 Only by meeting these needs, do we experience sustainable joy (as opposed to momentary
pleasure).
 Growth is our need for constant development. Reaching our goals and dreams does not
make us sustainably happy – we reach our goals and then desire new ones. The progress
and the process we go through while reaching our goals is the key to our happiness. As
long as we progress, we are alive.
 Contribution is our need to give beyond ourselves. To overcome the fear of scarcity,
consider giving what you are lacking most.
Needs 5 & 6 - Growth & Contribution

And now, understanding these six needs, how can
we use this knowledge to transform our lives?

The following exercise may be of value. Take a few minutes to consider your
life and answer the below questions:
 Which are the two needs that most significantly effect your life today?
1. How have you benefitted from these needs?
2. Were did they hold you back?
 What do your top two needs need to be now, to transform your life?
1. Where and how will this change or effect your life?
2. What actions are you committed to taking, to fulfill those needs?
3. When will you take action?
4. With whom will you communicate a commitment to take action and follow
through?
Human needs – an exercise

 Instead of judging people’s behaviors, consider that they are just making attempts to meet their
needs, sometimes desperately out of their own emotional distress.
 To meet your own needs:
 Find ways which are sustainable and not just attainable.
 Find ways which will empower you and empower those around you.
 On a regular basis, take notice of the needs you value, and make an effort to switch to those
that will transform your life.
“Don’t give up your hopes and dreams just to feed your starving needs”…

I invite you to contact me to receive a free "mini-coaching" session:
 To understand how to Identify the needs of your employees, supervisors,
customers or colleagues.
 To learn how to speak directly to these needs in order to connect, motivate and
influence.
Thank you, Ifat Dook, gesher.or@gmail.com

What really makes us do the things we do?

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What really makes us do the things we do?