Overcoming Sefldoubt for women in research
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Format: Interactive seminar/workshop Time: 60 - 90 min Target Audience: Researchers, Staff members, graduate students (in any) Learning objectives: By the end of this session, participant will: •Understand what imposter fears are and learn to recognize them; •Be able to identify cognitive distortions that prevent women from taking actions; •Identify strategies to overcome self-doubt and build resilience.
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Overcoming Sefldoubt for women in research
- 1. Overcoming self-doubt for women in research Irina Filonova, PhD Postdoc Development ⬧ Faculty Affairs Office January 22, 2020
- 4. Our journey • Understand what imposter fears are and learn to recognize them; • Be able to identify the root causes of self-doubt; • Identify strategies to overcome self-doubt and start building resilience.
- 6. Being uncomfortable is the sign on growth!
- 9. “I am afraid I will be found out for being a fraud.”
- 10. Activity - How imposter-ish are you? http://bit.ly/HU2020IS
- 11. Activity - How imposter-ish are you? 77 - No matter what you manage to accomplish, you are unable to enjoy your success. You see yourself as an imposter and fear that eventually - especially if you make a mistake or fail - people will discover that you are actually incompetent.
- 12. Main characteristics • Accomplished but feel incompetent • Never feel good at what you do • Attribute success to external factors • Hold yourself to a very high standard • Constantly feel self-doubt and anxiety • Waiting to be found out You are the ONLY ONE who knows the truth!
- 13. 5 categories of imposters • Perfectionist • Natural Genius • The Expert • The Soloist • The Superhuman
- 14. The Perfectionist They have such high expectations for themselves that even small mistakes will make them feel like a failure.
- 15. The Natural Genius They are used to things coming easily, so when something is too hard or they don’t master it on the first try, they feel shame and self-doubt.
- 16. The Expert They continuously seek out additional certifications or training because they feel as though they will never know enough to be truly qualified.
- 17. The Soloist They don’t like to ask for help, so when they do, they feel like a failure or a fraud.
- 18. The Superwoman/Superman They put in longer hours, never take days off and must succeed in all aspects of life in order to prove they are the “real deal.”
- 19. Imposter buddies •Perfectionism •Fear of failure •Self-criticism
- 20. Perfectionism A combination of excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations.
- 21. Fear of Failure The emotional, cognitive, and behavioral reaction to the negative consequences you anticipate for failing to achieve a goal.
- 22. Self-Criticism Repeated, negative, and toxic internal monologues used to self-scrutinize and overanalyze oneself.
- 23. What are the negative affects of IS? • Fear of “being found out” -> anxiety, higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the brain and body. • Feeling of “not deserving” -> lower levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin which relates to mood, and low levels of dopamine which are connected to reward and motivation. • Low confidence -> the lower your testosterone levels -> less likely to take healthy risks like going for a promotion. https://www.forbes.com/sites/taraswart/2019/08/08/why-you-need-to-understand-the-neuroscience-of-imposter- syndrome/#6cbc70cd80e7
- 26. Our journey • Understand what imposter fears are and learn to recognize them; • Be able to identify the root causes of self-doubt; • Identify strategies to overcome self-doubt and build resilience.
- 27. You might be an imposter because… • You were raised by humans • You are a student • Your work environment feeds self-doubt • You work in a creative field • You are a stranger in a strange land • You represent your entire group
- 28. You might be an imposter because… • Have to work 2.5 times as hard male colleagues • Independence is more questioned • Need to provide more evidenced of your competence • Taught to be modest and nice • Socialized to be risk averse • Judged on being nice and likable
- 30. YOU vs REALITY
- 31. …secret…
- 32. The big SECRET might be about….. • Our anxiety – physical signs of anxiety – sweating, blushing • Our appearance – shameful about how we look (face, dress, voice) • Our character – not cool, not funny, unqualified, inadequate, incompetent or defective • Our social skills – we are too awkward, nothing to say, mind will go black, too quite, too boring , get emotional, sound stupid
- 34. Mind protects us from discomfort
- 35. The protection strategies to cover your “secret” • Overprepared and hard work • Holding back • Maintain low or ever-changing profile • Use charmed to win approval • Procrastination • Never finishing • Self-sabotaging
- 37. First steps to deal with self-doubt • Identify the big “secret” • Recognize coping strategies • Assess opportunity cost
- 38. Your big REVEAL Are there any fear you have about? • Anxiety • Appearance • Character • Social skills
- 39. Your protection strategies Do you use any of the below strategies? • Overprepared and hard work • Holding back • Maintain low or ever-changing profile • Use charmed to win approval • Procrastination • Never finishing • Self-sabotaging • Any other?
- 40. “Protection” cost of doing the same • If I never change this pattern… • The price I would pay is… • The opportunity I would miss would be • The options and possibilities that would be closed to me would be…
- 42. If you care enough about your goal, learn to dance with the fear. Seth Godin
- 43. Our journey • Understand what imposter fears are and learn to recognize them; • Be able to identify the root causes of self-doubt; • Identify strategies to overcome self-doubt and build resilience.
- 44. Re-writing our stories • Recognizing our thoughts and feelings • Exercising self-compassion • Owning and sharing our stories
- 45. Re-writing our stories • Recognizing our thoughts and feelings • Exercising self-compassion • Owning and sharing our stories
- 47. 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day 80% are negative 95% are repetitive
- 49. Outside your comfort zone Think about a goal that is outside your comfort zone. • Why haven’t you done it yet? • What stays on your way?
- 50. Outside your comfort zone Think about taking actions toward completing this goal TODAY. • What thoughts do you have in mind? • What feelings?
- 51. Excuses for non-action, aka “hooks” • Obstacles • Self-judgements – we are not up to the task • Comparison – with others • Predictions – predict failure, rejections….
- 54. You are HUMAN. Humans experience FEAR.
- 57. You are HUMAN. Humans make MISTAKES.
- 58. Thoughts are NOT facts Feelings are NOT facts
- 59. Strategies for unhelpful thoughts • Noticing • I am having a thought that… • Personalizing • Singing, Silly voices, • Checking workability • Is it helping me to create a richer, fuller, more meaningful life?
- 60. Dealing with Feelings •N – name •A – acknowledge •M – make space •E – expand awareness
- 61. Re-writing our stories • Recognizing our thoughts and feelings • Exercising self-compassion • Owning and sharing our stories
- 65. Noticing your self talk Consider your recent mishap • What did you tell yourself?
- 66. Self-compassion quiz http://bit.ly/HU2020SC Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment. Common humanity vs. Isolation. Mindfulness vs. Over-identification
- 67. Myths about self-compassion • Self-compassion is a form of self-pity • Self-compassion means weakness • Self-compassion will make me complacent • Self-compassion is narcissistic • Self-compassion is selfish https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_five_myths_of_self_compassion
- 69. Your OLD narrative • Whenever I’m in a situation where... • I usually experience feeling of… • The negative voices in my heard start saying... • And what I typically do is...
- 70. Your NEW narrative Next time I am in the situation where … I’d rather feel … I’d like to hear the new voice in my head saying ... And I’d rather do the following…
- 71. Re-writing our stories • Recognizing our thoughts and feelings • Exercising self-compassion • Owning and sharing our stories
- 72. Women have complex relationship with success
- 73. The hard facts • Leaky pipeline – less women at senior levels • Bias resource allocation • Have to work 2.5 times as hard male colleagues • Independence is more questioned • Expected to perform multiple roles • Heavy committee and admin burden • Judged on being nice and likable • Might face little support from the institution
- 74. Women prefer to stay “invisible”
- 76. Hard work
- 77. Right time, right place, right people
- 78. Likability
- 80. Biologically similar but workplace different • Get promoted less • Get mentored less • Almost never negotiate • Get paid less You can’t expect people to value you if you don’t value yourself https://hbr.org/2017/08/what-the-science-actually-says-about-gender-gaps-in-the-workplace
- 81. Claiming your successes • List all your past successes • Next to your achievement note the role of: • Luck • Hard work • Right place/right timing • Connections • Likeability • Teamwork
- 82. Claiming your successes • Next writing specific action, skills you used to achieve it you took to achieve it • If someone else did the same, what would you say?
- 83. While you can’t control the society, you can do something about yourself. Give yourself permission to make the first step towards your goals.
- 86. Some resources • Gender differences in how scientists present the importance of their research: observational study • Why Don’t Women Self-Promote As Much As Men? • Why Women Stay Out of the Spotlight at Work • “I thought it was just me”, Brene Brown • “Lean Out: The Truth About Women, Power, and the Workplace”, Marrisa Orr