Presentation from The Compassionate Friends 2012 National/International Conference July 5-7, 2013 Boston, Massachusetts

1. PRESENTED BY: JACQUELINE L. DeVITO
The Compassionate Friends 2013 National/International Conference
July 5-7, 2013 Boston, Massachusetts

2. Do not regret growing older.
It is a privilege denied to many.
-Unknown

3. Agenda
• About Me
• About My Sister, Jennifer
• My Journey Through Grief
• Why We Write During Grief
• Blogging vs. Journaling
• Getting Started

4. Agenda
• Creating Your Blog
• Setting Up Your Blog
• Logging Into Your Blog
• The Dashboard
• Customizing Your Blog
• Post vs. Page

5. Agenda
• Adding a New Post or Page
• Categories and Tags
• Adding Images
• Editing an Image
• Managing Comments

6. Agenda
• Publicizing Your Blog Posts
• What To Blog About
• Site Stats
• What’s Next
• Learn More
• Keep In Touch

7. About Jacqueline
• From Westchester, NY
• Graduate of UAlbany
• Sister of Alpha Xi Delta (AΞΔ)
• Published in The Quill of Alpha Xi Delta
• Wanted to go to law school, but found
myself working as a Project Manager for a
small start-up
• Have always been web savvy

9. About Jennifer
• My younger and only sister
• Passed away at 18; I was 22
• Loss was sudden
• Beautiful, charismatic, always happy
• Was a coach for The Silver Starlites, a
traveling baton twirling team
• Won 13 medals, 2 gold, at Junior Olympics
• Survived by my parents, my brother and
myself

11. My Journey Through Grief
• Siblings are the forgotten mourners
• Constantly told to stay strong for my
family
• Tried two different support groups, but did
not feel they worked for me
• Gave journaling a try, but spent more time
decorating it then writing in it

13. My Journey Through Grief
• Started my blog because I would rather
type my thoughts, than write them
• Started my blog on October 1, 2010, less
than two months after Jenn’s passing
• As of two weeks ago, I have 192 Posts, and
60,919 all-time views

14. Why We Write During Grief
• There are several similarities between the
writing process and the grief process. The
creative element of the writing process
may allow the bereaved to move on during
the grief process because writing may
become a tool for the expression of his or
her thoughts and feelings, new insights,
clarification, and reorganization. 1

15. Why We Write During Grief
• The benefits of writing are first and
foremost associated with exploratory and
expressive forms of communication. 1
• Writing is an aid to reflection, a way to
explore and discover one’s own thoughts
and feelings. 2, 3, 5, 6
• Writing and forming a story involve
reflection on events and contribute to self-
understanding and new insight. 6-8

16. Why We Write During Grief
• According to process-oriented writing theory,
language is related to thought. Writing is
described as a creative process wherein the
writer may experience new thoughts,
increased awareness, and knowledge. 1,2,3,4
• Writing down one’s own ideas opens a
channel that allows a person to become
acquainted with his or her own thinking
potential. 2,3,6,7,9

17. Blogging vs. Journaling
• Journaling requires paper and a pen,
where blogging requires a computer or
smart phone
• When journaling, one must think quite
precisely of what they want to write
• Once it is written down, it is permanent
• When blogging, have the ability to delete
text, add more content, or delete entire
Post

18. Blogging vs. Journaling
• There is a danger of losing or damaging
your journal; with blogging you can
backup and save your Posts
• More security with blogging
• Have the ability to keep blog 100% private,
so only you can read it or add a secure
password to share with close family and
friends

19. Blogging vs. Journaling
• Can add images, YouTube videos, and
hyperlinks into Posts to enhance the
content
• Ability to go back and add additional
thoughts or updates to already posted blog
entries
• Read comments from people who have
found your blog, and how it has helped
them; become a virtual mentor

20. Getting Started
• All you need is an e-mail address
• Many free blog options, as well as paid
memberships
• WordPress, Blogger, Blog.com, Blogspot, to
name a few
• Ability to blog from a computer, laptop, tablet,
e-mail and smart phone
• Preferred CMS: WordPress

21. Creating Your Blog
• On your PC or Laptop, go to
wordpress.com
• Click the orange Get started here button

22. • Type in your e-mail address
• Create your username and password
• Create your blog address
• Example: coniffdence.wordpress.com
• Select the Basic, Premium or Business
package
• Click the Signup button
• Check your e-mail inbox for your
confirmation e-mail

27. Set Up Your Blog
• Once you click Activate Blog, you will
begin to set it up!
• Set the blog title
• Set your tagline
• Set your language

29. Set Up Your Blog
• Your theme is the design to your new blog
• Choose a theme that fits your style
• Can always change it
• Some themes are free, while others are
Premium and require a purchase
• Click Next Step after you’ve selected your
theme

32. Set Up Your Blog
• You can customize your theme to support
multiple columns, change the header, and
edit the style
• Most themes are great right out of the box
• Not sure how to customize your new blog?
Skip it and click Next Step
• These features are not crucial to the use
and functionality of your blog

34. Set Up Your Blog
• Now it is time to start blogging!
• Click the blue Finish button

35. The Dashboard

36. Logging Into Your Blog
• Can access your blog from anywhere; not
specific to your own computer
• Open your browser, and go to your site:
http://www.blog.com
• At the end of your URL, add:
http://www.blog.com/wp-admin

38. The Dashboard
• Overview of your entire blog
• Left sidebar allows you to configure
settings for your blog
• Quickly access areas where you create
Posts, Pages, manage comments, check
stats and change your blog’s appearance

40. Post vs. Page
• A Post is comprised of the day-to-day
thoughts that make up a blog; allows for
comments and sharing
• Example: Surviving Our First Holiday
Season
• A Page is static content where you supply
information to your readers
• Example: About Me
• Both support images, links and videos

41. Post vs. Page
• Suggest first creating only a few Pages
• Will act as a preface to your blog, and
outline your individual experience
• After, create Posts as often as you
like/need to fill your blog
• No set schedule; blog when you want

42. Adding a New Post or Page
• On the left sidebar, click on Posts or Pages
• When you hover over the tab, select Add
New
• With WordPress, there are multiple ways
to create a new Post or Page
• Find which way works best for you

44. Adding a New Post or Page
• If you can send an e-mail, you can create a
Page and a Post
• Ability to use the Visual setting, or HTML
code (depending on your preference)
• Can start a blog Post, save your work, and
continue at a later time
• Always have the ability to edit your Post,
even if you published it to your blog

45. Add New Post or Page
• Add your Post’s title
• Add the content of your blog Post
• Click Preview to see what your Post would
look like, without publishing it
• When you are ready to share your Post
with the world, click the blue Publish
button

48. Categories and Tags
• Used for your Posts
• Way to organize your Posts for
manageability
• Example: If you were blogging about your
first holiday season, your Category may be
“Family Milestones” and the Tags could
be: holiday, Christmas, Chanukah, family
dinner, spirit

50. Adding Images
• I always try to add an image into my Posts
• Easy to add, and great way to enrich the
blog
• Helpful when sharing Posts on Facebook;
image will appear in friends’ timelines
• Can add images into both Posts and Pages

51. Adding Images
• Above the toolbar, click on the button Add
Media
• Browse your local computer for the image
you want to add
• Can also drag and drop files into Insert
Media modal
• Allowed file types: jpg, jpeg, png, gif, pdf,
doc, ppt, odt, pptx, docx, pps, ppsx, xls,
xlsx

55. Adding Images
• After your image finishes uploading, you
can edit the image information as much or
as little as you like
• Give your image a title, alternative text,
caption and description
• Pick your alignment, and select the perfect
size
• Make sure you click Insert Into Post

58. Editing an Image
• After you have added the image to your
Page or Post, you have the ability to edit or
delete it
• While editing your Post, click on the image
you added
• Two small thumbnail images will appear
in the top left corner of the image

60. Editing an Image
• Click on left thumbnail to edit the image
• Click on the right thumbnail to delete the
image
• When you click to edit the image, a pop up
window will appear
• Can scale the image bigger or smaller, change
alignment, title, and edit the image’s link
• When you are satisfied with your changes,
click the Update button

62. Managing Comments
• Can accept comments on Pages and Posts,
but traditionally used just on Posts
• Can moderate comments before they are
shared on your site
• Click Comments on the left sidebar of your
Dashboard

65. Managing Comments
• When you approve a comment, it will
appear at the bottom of your blog for
others to read
• Can reply to comments
• Ability to trash comments, or mark as
spam
• Can edit comments to remove private or
personal information you don’t want to
share

67. Publicizing Your Blog Posts
• Share your blog with friends and family
• Can automatically publish your new blog
Posts to Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, and
Tumblr
• On the left sidebar, go to Settings >
Sharing
• Next to each social media icon, click the
Add New link to set up the connection

70. Publicizing Your Blog Posts
• When you publicize, have the option to
add your own introduction before posting
• With Facebook, when you share your Post
and use an image, it will be featured in
your update
• Increase chances people will click link,
versus no image and just text

73. What To Blog About
• Anything you want; no right or wrong
answer
• Be cautious of using overly personal
information
• Write what you feel; not what you think
people want to read

74. What To Blog About
• A particularly difficult day and what may
have caused it
• Milestones in your life (birthdays,
weddings) and how you handled them
• Memories that popped into your head
• Grief surveys
• Lost dreams
• A letter to your loved one

75. Site Stats
• Keep track of how many people view your
blog
• See where visitors are coming from
• View what search terms people use to find
your blog
• Determine how most people find you
• On the left sidebar, click on Site Stats

79. What’s Next?
• August 17th will be three years since Jenn’s
passing
• Would enjoy writing a book that shares my
personal grief story from the point of view
of a sibling
• Share my journey in hopes that readers
identifying with me, and apply feelings
and emotions to their own journey

80. Learn More
My Blog
www.jacquelinedevito.wordpress.com
WordPress
www.wordpress.com
Download This Presentation
http://www.slideshare.net/JacquelineDeVito/
blogging-your-way-through-grief-23247376

81. Keep In Touch
Facebook
www.facebook.com/Coniffdence
Twitter
www.twitter.com/Coniffdence
E-mail
Jacqueline.DeVito@gmail.com

82. References
1. Furnes, Bodil, and Elin Dysvik. "A Systematic Writing Program as a Tool in the Grief Process: Part 1." Patient Prefer Adherence 2012 (2012):
425-31. National Center for Biotechnology Information. U.S. National Library of Medicine, 06 Dec. 2010. Web. 19 June 2012.
<http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3003609/>.
2. Elbow P. Writing without Teachers. New York: Oxford University Press; 1973.
3. Elbow P. Writing with Power Techniques for Mastering the Writing Process. New York/Oxford: Oxford University Press; 1981.
4. Vygotsky L. Tænkning og Sprog II. København: H: Reizel; 1982
5. Baikie KA, Wilhelm K. Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing. Adv Psychiatr Treat. 2005;11:338–346.
6. Furnes B. Å skrive sorgen – bearbeidelse av sorg. Prosessorientert skriving i møte med en fenomenologisk språkforståelse. En hermeneutisk
fenomenologisk studie av skriving som sorgbearbeidelse hos etterlatte. 2008. Doctoral thesis. University of Bergen, Norway.
7. Pennebaker JW. Telling stories: the health benefits of narrative. Lit Med. 2000;19:3–11.
8. Smyth J, True N, Souto J. Effects of writing about traumatic experiences: the necessity for narrative structuring. J Soc Clin
Psychol. 2001;20:161–172
9. Stensland P. Approaching the Locked Dialogues of the Body – Communicating Symptoms through Illness Diaries. 2003. Doctoral thesis.
Division for General Practice, Department of Public Health and Primary Health Care. University of Bergen, Norway.