This lesson focuses on dealing with these kinds of disappointments. You will: - Understand how negative thinking often goes hand-in-hand with poor health - Learn how your thoughts can affect you mood AND your physical health - Learn to think differently about the things that have happened to you

1. How to deal with treatment
that fails
Written by: Joanne Zeis
Reviewed by: Robert Jamison, Ph.D., January 2008

2. Learning Goals
People who have been in pain for a long time often feel unlucky. They fret
about what has happened to them, and start to think that life will never get
better. This type of negative cycle can happen when a medical treatment
doesn’t turn out the way it was supposed to. Instead of being pain-free and
mobile after surgery, the person might be faced with a long-term disability,
with no hope of getting better.
This lesson focuses on dealing with these kinds of disappointments. You will:
➢Understand how negative thinking often goes hand-in-hand with poor
health
➢Learn how your thoughts can affect you mood AND your physical health
➢Learn to think differently about the things that have happened to you

3. When things go wrong
➢We all know that life is not fair. Even with the best of intentions,
things can go wrong. Life can seem especially unfair when a basic
treatable injury turns into an untreatable chronic pain problem.
People in this situation may wonder:
❖Why did this happen to me?
❖What did I do to deserve this?
❖How will I get through it?

4. When things go wrong
➢Even though someone in this position knows that she’s not at fault,
she might still have a lot of trouble dealing with negative thoughts
and feelings. There could be irrational fears that won’t go away – for
example, not wanting to leave the house for fear of what awful thing
might happen next.
➢It’s never easy to cope with a treatment that has made your life
worse. While it might not seem like it right now, there are ways to get
through a bad treatment outcome, and move on successfully with
your life.

5. 8 possible ways to cope with a
bad situation

6. 1. Talking to other people
➢This might seem like a no-brainer. Wouldn’t you do this naturally?
Well, no – not everyone feels comfortable asking for one-on-one
support.
❖Your loved ones might have too much “invested” in your injury to be sensitive
to all of your needs. For example, they may have to do your household
chores. They wish you the best, but they are adjusting to your situation, too.
❖You may want to speak with someone you don’t know well, to get an
outsider’s viewpoint. You could:
❖Speak with a mental health counselor or social worker
❖Speak with a vocational counselor about other kinds of available work
❖Join a support group at your local hospital, or on the Internet

7. 2. Write down what happened to you
➢Don’t get caught up in emotions. Act as if you’re writing a newspaper
column about someone else.
➢Write ONLY the facts about your situation, not how it makes you feel.
➢Staying neutral will keep you from having distorted negative thoughts
that aren’t supported by facts.

8. 3. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself
➢When bad things have happened, it’s easy to think that life will never
get better. But the Alcoholics Anonymous slogan of taking things “one
day at a time” can also apply to you.
❖Focus on each day as it comes. Try not to think ahead.
❖Tell yourself: “I can get through the next hour” (or the next 12, or 24 hours). A
twenty-four hour timeframe feels much more manageable than saying “a
year” or “the rest of my life.”
❖Try not to compare your past and present situations

9. 4. Think positively
➢If you’re worried about something and can’t shake it off, write your
thoughts down, and come up with a positive thought that you can
substitute. For example:
❖Instead of: “I can’t stand this pain anymore”
Think: “This may be the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with, but I know I can
get through it.”
❖Instead of: “I am useless; I can’t do anything”
Think: “I can learn to do things differently, and handle whatever needs to be
done.”
➢It’s possible to feel better about yourself by keeping, and repeating,
positive thoughts in your mind.

10. 5. Just say “STOP”
➢You may be worrying so much that it seems your mind is going in
circles. Concentrating on everyday tasks is hard when you continually
replay past events in your head, and agonize about what might
happen in the future. Getting to sleep? It seems impossible.
❖One way to get your mind to shut off is to say the word “STOP” out loud.
❖It may feel unnatural and foolish at first, but saying “STOP” can interrupt your
thoughts and help break the negative cycle.
❖If necessary, say “STOP” more than once so that you’re able to focus on the
present.

11. 6. Use humor
➢It can be hard to see the humor in anything if you are in severe pain.
However:
❖Research has shown that laughter can help reduce the amount of pain that
you feel.
❖Watching a funny movie, reading a funny book, or telling a joke can help you
deal with your situation.
❖Try to seek out humor, and make a point of laughing (or trying to laugh) about
something every day.

12. 7. Speak with a faith counselor or
spiritual leader
➢When feeling alone and discouraged, spirituality and sacred texts
(such as the Bible, Quran or Talmud) can often provide comfort. For
some people, though, it might seem as if God has deserted them in
their hour of need.
❖If you’re having a “dark night of the soul,” where your faith is at a low level,
speak with a faith-based counselor or a leader in your religious community for
support and guidance.
❖Reach out to members of your house of worship. Many people want to help,
but are afraid of intruding – ask them to meet for coffee.
❖If you have a religious community, continue attending services if you’re able.
Don’t isolate yourself.

13. 8. Act as if you’re OK
➢This advice might seem odd. Pretending that you’re fine around other
people can be difficult and tiring. If you don’t feel well, why fake it?
➢There are actually some good reasons for acting this way:
❖Research has shown that behaving as if you’re doing okay can have a positive
effect on your mood.
❖Other people will respond more positively to you if they feel that you’re
doing better.

14. Moving Forward by Letting Go
Bad things happen to all of us. How we deal with these situations can
make the difference between having a life that’s filled with resentment,
and having one that’s fulfilling in spite of the underlying issues.
Unfortunately, many people with chronic pain have had a bad
treatment experience that led to their pain problem. How do you let go
of the bitterness, knowing that your life could have turned out
differently?

15. Moving Forward By Letting Go
➢Take one day at a time
➢Meet with a counselor to work through your feelings
➢Keep track of your negative thoughts, and think of positive substitutes
➢Make an active decision to move forward with your life:
❖Learn about any disability aids you might need, by working with your health care
provider or other professional.
❖If you need a different type of job, meet with a vocational counselor for employment
options.
❖Get new tips on ways to cope: join a support group of people who have been
through your type of experience.
❖If no support group exists, create one!
Improving your situation can help you to gain self-confidence and,
eventually, to reach some peace of mind.

16. Additional Resources:
➢Caudill, M.A. (2002). Managing pain before it manages you (Revised
Version). New York: The Gilford Press.
➢Otis, J.D. (2007). Managing chronic pain: A cognitive-behavioral
therapy approach. Workbook. Oxford University Press.