An exposition of Hebrews 12:6-11 tells us something of parenting with GOD in focus as our perfect parent -- Our heavenly Father. There is also an element on how to raise children in the church.

1. Biblical Childrearing
Ptr. J. F. Smith, DMin
Faith Missionary Church & Bible Institute
jfrsmth@gmail.com

2. A Difficult Subject
• Many ideas about parenting
• Many backgrounds and experiences
• A sensitive subject
Are we willing to search the Scriptures and
seek the counsel of the Lord on this matter?

3. Children are a gift from GOD
(See Psalm 127:3, Genesis 33:5, 48:4; Deuteronomy 28:4)
● GOD uses them to teach us as parents
○ In that sense, they are a blessing
■ How many times GOD has shown me what He
goes through with me
■ I have a better understanding of my Heavenly
Father

4. Jeremiah 13:10
This evil people, which
refuse to hear my words,
which walk in the
imagination of their heart,
and walk after other gods, to
serve them, and to worship
them,
Have you
ever said
that?
GOD has too!

5. The family is the basic social unit of
society
The foundational social unit from which
every other aspect of society is built.

6. Ten Commandments
Honor your parents is listed
FIFTH in order immediately
after the commands relating
to GOD and worship, before
the commands for human
relations.

7. Family
Neighbors / Neighborhood
Authorities
Leaders
Community
Nation

8. When the family unit breaks down...
● Ten Commandments : killing, adultery, stealing,
false witness, coveting
● Romans 1:23-32 : all manner of sins
● 2 Timothy 3:1-5 : sins of the last days
Society breaks down

9. Family
Neighbors /
Neighborhood
Authorities
Leaders
Community
Nation

10. So, the devil is working overtime
seeking to destroy GOD’s order
● The economy and materialism (both parents
working outside the home to have things)
● Entertainment (filling young minds with false teaching)
● Fatherless (broken) families
● Getting away from GOD and His Word (parents and
children)

12. When we speak of children, we are
referring to...
● Little ones (infants and toddlers; Deut. 1:39)
● Children (Deut. 1:39; Matthew 19:14, able to perceive)
● Teens (youth; Eccl 12:1 young people)
● Young adults under the roof (e.g. Joshua 24:15)

14. What has GOD revealed to us
about raising children?

15. When it comes to childrearing, all we
have to do is look to GOD
GOD the Father
Christ (GOD) the Son
In Christ, we are sons (i.e. children)

16. What does Hebrews 12:6-11 say?
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and
scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you
as with sons; for what son is he whom the father
chasteneth not?
8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all
are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not
sons.
9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh
which corrected us, and we gave them
reverence: shall we not much rather be in
subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
10 For they verily for a few days chastened us
after their own pleasure; but he for our profit,
that we might be partakers of his holiness.
11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth
to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless
afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of
righteousness unto them which are exercised
thereby.

17. 6 For whom the Lord loveth he
chasteneth, and scourgeth every son
whom he receiveth.

18. What is the relationship to be like
between parents and children?
• Affectionate (c/w Zeph 3:17; rejoice with singing)
• Loving (c/w 1 Joh 3:1)
• Facilitating (c/w Eph 6:4; nurture and admonition)
• Safe (Eph 6:4; ...of the Lord)

19. There must also be a proper environment
And, ye fathers...
• Provoke not…
• Nurture and admonition…
• ...of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4)
Fathers are charged with the responsibility of training
children.

20. Fathers (caretakers) not to provoke their
children (v4)
But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of
the Lord (v4)
● Nurture: Training and correction
● Admonition: gentle reproof
provoke : stimulate anger; undue severity; injustice

21. At times discipline is necessary to show
love
Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his
son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
A spanking can show as
much love as a hug.
He 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

22. Discipline
Discipline refers to learning through...
● Instruction and education (teaching)
● Chastisement (inflicting of pain by stripes, etc.)
● Correction (change in direction)
● Punishment (inflict pain or suffering, and or loss of liberty
or privileges) http://webstersdictionary1828.com/Dictionary/discipline •
http://webstersdictionary1828.com/Dictionary/chastisement •
http://webstersdictionary1828.com/Dictionary/punishment

23. When it comes to discipline, all we
have to do is look to GOD
Hebrews 12:6
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and
scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
chasteneth : (chasten); to inflict pain; implies the use of a rod
(e.g. 2 Sam 2:14; Prov 13:24, 20:13)
scourge : to whip (implied); e.g. John 2:15

24. Correction and spanking were
considered partners
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from
the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod,
he shall not die.
The : [colon] precedes more detail

25. A Word about Training Up
(Disciplining) a Child
Google search (child discipline) reveals negative images of what is
supposed to be loving correction, (Hebrews 12:6).

26. Children do not naturally know what
to do
They have to be trained.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a
child in the way he should
go...
Parents, YOU are accountable to GOD for which
direction you train them up to go.

27. (Children do not naturally know what to do)
This is why when we are around children, we must
be alert.

28. GOD inspired a wise man named Solomon
to write and collect the Proverbs.
• Written from a father to a son.
• They contain wisdom on child
rearing.
We can learn from them.

29. The parent who spanks the child
teaches him wisdom.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give
wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his
mother to shame.

30. Discipline should be discussed
● Talk to your child and explain why they are being
disciplined
● Make sure they are aware of the rules
Romans 7:7-13 What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God
forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not
known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet...

31. Match the discipline to the offense
● The severity of the discipline should be equal to
the level of the offense
Luke 12:48
But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy
of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes (see also Lev
5:17, 1 Tim 1:13).

32. Praise the child
Proverbs 15:23
… a word spoken in due
season, how good is it! (See
also 12:25)

33. Biblically speaking, how could we not
spank our erring children?
Proverbs 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the
rod, and shalt deliver his soul from Hell.

36. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth
with you as with sons; for what son is he
whom the father chasteneth not?
Chastening is expected

37. GOD has ordained the process of
childrearing…
• Knowledge to lack of knowledge
• Older to younger
• Wisdom to lack of wisdom
• Know GOD to those who do not

38. In Deuteronomy 6, GOD tells the Jews
what to teach their children
Deuteronomy 6:6 And these words, which I command
thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
Deuteronomy 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently
unto thy children...
Since Christianity is an extension of true Judaism, it would
be wise for Christians parents to follow the same.

39. GOD designed children to have
formative years (0-8)
According to UNICEF, by the age of 8, most of the
child’s development has taken place...
● Cognitive
● Social
● Emotional
● Physical
] Can be combined to socio-emotional
https://www.unicef.org/earlychildhood/files/Brochure_-_The_Formative_Years.pdf

40. Btw, to help further his righteousness
and discover His creation...
● GOD has blessed us with law, medicine, science,...
● And also… educational-learning and developmental
psychology (C/w, “in authority,” 1 Timothy 2:2)
However, we must discern biblical truth.

41. Deuteronomy 1:39 ...your little
ones… and your children, which in
that day had no knowledge
between good and evil… (See also Isa
7:16, 28:10; Mk 4:28).
Piaget’s Stages show us that the
development of humans has a certain
pattern (Gines, et al., 1998; Richards &
Bredfeldt, 1998)
Why corporal correction is so important in early
ages. Their development limits their ability to
reason. But, they learn quickly to associate (c/w
Pr 22:6).

42. ● Erickson’s stages of
psychosocial development
show us that there is a natural
human conflict throughout our
lifespan (Gines, et al., 1998).
● Unless these conflicts are
resolved in a positive, balanced
manner, a negative character
trait, or maladjustment may
develop.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth
away wrath: but grievous words stir
up anger (see also Pr 15:23, 25:11) e.g. Matthew 5:37
Ephesians 6:4

43. Interestingly, Christ had cognitive,
socio-emotional, physical, and spiritual
upbringing
Luke 2:52
And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in
favour with God and man.
GOD recognizes the same areas +1 (spiritual)

44. wisdom, stature, favor
● Children need time in academic and biblical study
● Children need time in exercise and enough rest
● Children need time with friends
● Children need time in church
This provides a healthy balance for your child.
The way GOD recognized it in the Gospel of Luke
(Btw, Luke was a physician; GOD is our Great Physician).

45. Our problem however, is that we are
all natural born sinners
Psalm 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in
sin did my mother conceive me.
Psalm 53:8 The wicked are estranged from the
womb; they go astray as soon as they be born,
speaking lies.

46. OUR CORRUPT CONDITION (from head to toe)

47. Enter Parents
Proverbs 29:15 ...a child left to himself bringeth his mother
to shame.
Because of our corrupt condition, GOD uses
(believing) parents to love, nurture, train, correct,
discipline, and teach children in these things.
This is why children must understand that there are
(unpleasant) consequences to disobedience.

48. The ultimate punishment for disobedience awaits all
mankind.
SIN
Isaiah 53:5
But he was
wounded for our
transgressions, he
was bruised for our
iniquities: the
chastisement of our
peace was upon
him; and with his
stripes we are
healed.
JESUS CHRIST
In the world
(In sin)
In Christ
(Holy and Reconciled)
Believe (Ac 16:30)
But Jesus Christ took that
punishment on Himself, for us.

49. Therefore, biblical childrearing is an
extension of Supreme love
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only
begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him
should not perish, but have everlasting life.

51. 8 But if ye be without chastisement,
whereof all are partakers, then are ye
bastards, and not sons.
You do not spank the neighbor’s kids
(though you may want to) . . . Why not?

53. 9 Furthermore we have had fathers of
our flesh which corrected us, and we
gave them reverence: shall we not much
rather be in subjection unto the Father
of spirits, and live?

54. Honor Parents (Ephesians 6:1-3)
● It is right
● That it might go well with them
● That they may prosper
● That they may live long
Teaching children to honor their parents is
biblical

55. Parents represent GOD on the earth
Therefore, out of love, parents are to teach their
children respect
● For parents
● For authorities
● for GOD

56. We must acknowledge that…
• We are corrupted versions of parents.
• We raise children without perfect
understanding
Fathers of our flesh...

57. ...shall we not much rather be in
subjection unto the Father of spirits, and
live?
Therefore, shouldn’t we listen to the
Perfect Father (Parent)?

58. Our Heavenly Father is our example
Ephesians 5:1 Be ye therefore followers [imitators]
of God, as dear children;
Our heavenly Father : vs. the father of this world (John 8:44):
humanistic philosophies; New Age psychology, and children’s
rights, etc. that attempt to take away parental authority, and
GOD-ordained precepts

59. We should therefore FOLLOW our
Heavenly Father’s example (of
parenting), and BE examples to our
children (for their children)

61. 10 For they verily for a few days
chastened us after their own pleasure;
but he for our profit, that we might be
partakers of his holiness.

62. Discipline should be for the right motive
Hebrews 12:11 Now no chastening for the present
seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless
afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of
righteousness unto them which are exercised
thereby.
Sadly, many parents today do not have a biblical
perspective on discipline

63. 11 Now no chastening for the present
seemeth to be joyous, but grievous:
nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the
peaceable fruit of righteousness unto
them which are exercised thereby.
What is that motive?

65. Childrearing in the local Christian
Church

66. We all have...
● A family culture
● A national culture…
But, there is also, a CHRISTIAN culture

67. Train children in your family, and
national cultural traditions
● Bless / Po
● We pray every night / before eating
● We go to church on Sundays, etc.
These are a good testimony to unsaved
family members, and to the community
(c/w 1 Co 9:20).

68. Christian Culture
1. Honor Parents
2. Respect Elders
3. GOD’s order for men and women
4. Fear of GOD
5. GOD’s words are truth
6. Exalting Jesus Christ and His glories
7. Worshiping GOD in song, message, fellowship, Lord’s
supper, and more...
Matthew 5:16 Let your light
so shine before men, that
they may see your good
works, and glorify your
Father which is in heaven.

69. (In a discussion of the church and childrearing...)
Three Foundational Principles
1. Fear of GOD is primary
2. The whole duty of man
3. Why these things were written

70. 1. Learning the fear of GOD is of
primary importance for our children
● Proverbs 1:7 ...beginning of knowledge
● Proverbs 9:10 ... beginning of wisdom
● Proverb 10:27 ...prolongs days
● Confidence (14:26), Life (14:27), Riches (22:24)...
How could a loving parent or church want their
children to grow up without the fear of GOD?

71. 2. The whole duty of man
Ecclesiastes 12:13
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear
God, and keep his commandments: for this is the
whole duty of man.
Worship GOD:
Teaching our children purpose in life

72. 3. Why these things were written
John 20:31
But these are written, that ye might believe that
Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that
believing ye might have life through his name.
Scriptures to Christ, Christ to Salvation
Seek the salvation of our children

73. What is best for children?
2 Timothy 3:15
And that from a child thou hast known the holy
scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto
salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

74. Three Foundational Principles
1. Fear of GOD is primary (knowledge, wisdom, long life,
success, confidence, …)
2. The whole duty of man (purpose in life)
3. Why these things were written (everlasting life)

75. With that in mind, what is best for the
child?
1. To hear the Word of GOD
2. To learn the fear of GOD
3. To be wise unto salvation

76. What behaviors in church would be most
conducive to hearing, learning, and wisdom?
First, develop a sense of reverence for
the things of GOD
The Bible, prayer, song, preaching/teaching, the
Lord’s Supper, and the like

77. Respect Elders
Leviticus 19:32 Thou shalt rise up before the hoary
head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear
thy God: I am the LORD.
1 Timothy 5:1 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him
as a father
When older people are teaching/speaking, listen.

78. How can they do that if...
● They are talking?
● They are texting?
● They are playing?
● They are not in church?
● Other?

79. Remember, when we speak of
children, we are referring to...
● Little ones (infants and toddlers; Deut. 1:39)
● Children (Deut. 1:39; Matthew 19:14, able to perceive)
● Teens (youth; Eccl 12:1 young people)
● Young adults under the roof (e.g. Joshua 24:15)

80. As a church, you must decide what forms respect
and behavior take within the assembly.
Does it mean…
● Families sit together?
● Turning off wifi during GOD’s Word time?
● Addressing each other a certain way, etc.?
The goal is that, in love, you are training children in
Christian-Bible culture . . . to the glory of GOD.

81. THE END

82. Q & A
This is our time:
Let’s discuss this with one another for the purpose
of learning, for a better home environment, creating
unity in the church, and harmony with one another
Ephesians 4:3 Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in
the bond of peace.

83. What form/s does “honor your
father and mother” take?