2. Assertiveness as a communication tool Learning to communicate assertively will enhance working relationships Developing assertiveness skills will increase your confidence and improve your communication skills Assertiveness is about making changes Look at your won behaviour and identify how you can make cahnegs
3. Assertiveness The ability to express our ideas and feelings, both positive and negative in an open and honest way The ability to stand up for our rights while respecting the rights of others The ability to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people The ability to find compromise where conflict exists
4. It is an alternative to passive and direct and indirect aggressive behaviour
5. Passivity The doormat syndrome – we allow ourselves to be trampled over by others Characterised by a feeling of powerlessness and an ability to take control of our lives There is an overriding need to please and placate those around us so we have difficulty in standing up for our own rights or making clear decisions
6. Direct Aggression This behaviour stems from an intrinsic desire to win at all costs Often confused with assertion Often self esteem is low and we build it up by putting others down
7. Indirect Aggression More subtle than direct aggression More difficult to challenge Creates an undercurrent of guilty unease – often uses sarcasm to undermine others and to get what the person wants
8. The assertive toolkit Body language At least 75% of communication is non verbal Being assertive involves matching non-verbal with verbal communication Messages need to be clear Feelings can always slip out non-verbally
9. Assertiveness Toolkit Setting the Scene To help you feel in control of the situation Disclosing Feelings Using ‘I’ statements Taking responsibility for how you feel Avoiding blaming others
10. Toolkit cont Being Clear Concise , specific speech Shorty clear statements Staying with it Stay with your statement Avoid getting side tracked
11. Toolkit cont Empathising Acknowledge that you have heard what the other person has said Working for a compromise Meeting both parties’ needs Assertiveness is not a matter of winning Leaves both parties feeling good
12. Other things to think about when communicating assertively Feeling Strong and balanced with feet firmly balances – conveys confidence Keeping direct and comfortable eye contact Respect each other’s body space and don’t invade it Talk to people on an equal level physically and adjust your height to theirs
13. Tone of voice Speed of speech, slowing it down helps us to sound calm and assertive Volume of speech – check if you are speaking too loudly
14. Self Respect Raised self respect is central to assertive behaviour Need to accept ourselves for who we are Avoid making comparisons with others
15. Building self respect Talking positively to myself Acknowledging my strengths Changing behaviour I am not happy with Celebrating behaviour I like Treating myself Looking after my health Taking space for myself Taking time to look at the world around me Seeking help and support when I need it
