Assertiveness means getting your needs
met without interfering with the rights of
• Assertiveness is the expression of one’s
feelings, beliefs, opinions, and needs in a
direct, honest and appropriate manner.
Such assertive behavior will reflect high
regard for one’s own personal rights and
as well as the rights of others.
2. • This involves recognizing that in any
-You have needs to be met;
-The other person or persons have needs
to be met;
-You have rights;
-The other person or persons have rights;
• The aim is to satisfy the needs and rights
of both parties.
3. Why Assertiveness?
• Helps you become self-confident
• Increases self-esteem
• Gain respect of others
• Improve communication skills
• Improve decision-making ability
4. How to be assertive
• Be honest and direct about your feelings, needs,
• Express yourself firmly and directly to specific
• Be reasonable in your requests
• State your viewpoint without being hesitant or
• Be honest when giving or receiving feedback.
• Learn to say “no” to unreasonable expectations.
• Paraphrase what others have stated to you.
5. • Recognize and respect the rights of those around
• Use appropriate tone of voice.
• Be aware of body posture/language
• Maintain eye contact.
• Use “I” statements to express self
• Don’t let others impose their values/ideas on you
• Encourage others to be clear and direct
• Take ownership
6. • Here are some examples of the
different ways of behaving:
- submissive, and
• The examples are both verbal and non-
verbal – ways of speaking and ways of
7. Way of speaking
• Giving orders inappropriately
• Putting others down
• Forcing others to do things
• Expressing opinions as facts
• Making assumptions
• Using ridicule/disrespect
8. b) Submissive:
• Saying ‘I’m sorry’ often
• Saying ‘I’m afraid’ often
• Not getting to the point
• Saying ‘I should/must/ought’ often
• Putting yourself down
• Not saying what you want/feel/like
• Agreeing to things you do not want to do to keep
• Complaining behind the scenes
9. c) Assertive:
• Stating clearly what you want/need/feel
• Making brief statements that are to the point
• Saying ‘no’ when you want to
• Giving praise or constructive criticism when
• Finding out the wants/needs/feelings of others
• Making decisions
• Standing up for yourself
• Acknowledging the other person’s standpoint
10. Ten good reasons to be assertive
• You will feel happier because you will have
expressed your needs
• It is more likely that your needs will be met
because people will know what they are.
• Even if your needs are not met, you will feel
better knowing that you handled the
situation well and you will have nothing to
blame yourself for.
• Your confidence will increase because
there will be no situation you will be
11. • You will build a better team because you will be able to use
everyone’s strengths instead of being threatened by them.
• You will be able to control your own behavior and therefore
be more effective in negotiating clear and workable
• You will take more initiatives because you will not be as
afraid of making mistakes as you used to be.
• You will reduce your stress level because negative feeling of
anger and frustration will not be allowed to build up.
• You will communicate better with people because if you are
more direct with others, they are more likely to be direct with
• You will be more comfortable to be around, and thus your
relationships with others will improve at all levels.
12. Rights at work
• To know what is expected of me
• To have regular feedback on my performance
• To be consulted about decisions that affect me.
• To take decisions that are within my area of work
• To refuse unreasonable requests.
• To expect work of a certain standard from my staff
• To criticize constructively the performance of my
staff when appropriate