Practical understanding of stress and practical tools to deal with it.

1. To do before we begin
To ponder while you wait
1. what was “the best thing”before sliced bread?
2. is there another word forsynonym?
3. if a turtle loses its shell is it naked orhomeless?
4. why did kamikaze pilots where helmets?
5. why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
To ponder before we begin

2. USING YOUR BRAIN TO GET
THE BEST OF STRESS

4. SMALL GIANTS ADVISORY`
There are times in life we are small: fearful,
jealous, insecure or angry.
And there are times when we are big: sure,
humble, patient, or strong.
We are bigger than the problem at hand and
bigger than those involved.
This is a small giant.
Small Giants offer more, add more and
achieve more
because they are more.
- JL
Jonat han Lincolne
Director, Implementation Psychologist
Jonat han Lincolne
Director, Implementation Psychologist

5. PASTCLIENTS

7. GUIDING
PRINCIPLES
• Errors, mistakes and getting it wrong is human and ok here.
Know better, do better.
Acceptance of what it, as it is, right now.
Be curious and open to learning.
Be present, be the highest possible version of yourself.
We are in this together.
We succeed together
or we fail together

8. WIIFM?
WIIFM? Is really your brain’s way of assessing if I’ll be worth you
precious attention.
Here is what is on offer
An accurate understanding of stress and how to make it benefit you
instead of hurting you
What happens in your brain and body during stress and what the
feelings of stress are. Knowledge is power.
3 practical resilience tools that you can use immediately

9. A story to begin

10. Stands People: Victims. Critics & complainersCourt People: Players.Doers

11. WAYNE BENNETT
‘You have a choice in life.
You can sit back and criticise or,
you can try to make a difference.’

12. PERSONALISED LEARNING
list of common life
stressors
there are also work
specific stressors
choose one
can be from general list,
the work list, or you
choose your own.
money
conflict with partner
conflict with family
traffic
teenagers
change at work
illness – self or other
co-workers
time
loss of control
lack of clarity
relationships
the news
the future
public speaking
tension at your job
having a heavy workload
working long hours
unclear expectations of your work
working in dangerous conditions
risk of job loss
loss of a job
give talk in front of colleagues
divorce
increase in financial obligations
getting married
moving house
WHAT ABOUT WORK-SPECIFIC STRESSORS
Take a minute to think about your specific area of the business.
If you had to list the TOP 3 Stressors common to your area of the
business what would they be?
Write them down on your card

13. PERSONALISED LEARNING
put your choice in the
center of the card.
add the factors that
contribute to that stress
Aa we talk think about
how you could use this
info to help with your
topic
Money
Kids
schooling
Spending
habits
Lack of
savings
Lack of
budget

14. WHAT IS STRESS REALLY?

15. STRESS AS A CONCEPT
Eustres
s
(you stress)
Distress
AcuteChronic
Hunting with the tribeBeing hunted
A term that describes unpleasant feelings or emotions that impact
your daily living.
Distress can result in negative views of your environment, others,
and even yourself.
It can look like different things for different people: anger,
irritability, worry, sadness, anxiety, distraction, obsessive thinking,
increased risk taking, emotional outbursts.
The prefix of the word ('eu’) is Greek and stands for
'well' or 'good’.
It is a healthy form of stress that gives us energy,
positive feelings about ourselves. our situation and
others.
Example of Eustress, are a challenging work
assignment or the choice to excellent in you work.
ACTIVITIES THE CAUSE EUSTRESS
GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE NEW WE LIKE – a new friend, colleague or romantic
interest.
ANY FORM OF LEARNING OR STUDY - The brain rewards learning. The more we know
the safer it feels.
PERFORMING AT OUR BEST IN OUR WORK, A HOBY OR IN COMPETITIVE
SPORTS. Eustress helps us perform better in the moment AND also helps us stay
committed the activity even when we may not feel like it.
PREPARING FOR AND WORKING TOWARDS BIG GOALS OR EVENTS like getting
married, having a baby, getting a new job or promotion.
DEVELOPING NEW SKILLS especially where we have to practice to improve and work
through the awkward beginner's stage eg. learning a new hobby, language or sport.
GETTING OVER A REJECTION Whether it's a job, relationship or some other opportunity,
eustress sustains us and helps us learn, grow as individuals - and find the silver lining.
PERSISTING WITH PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT OR BETTERING YOURSELF. This is
especially relevant for coaching and therapy.

16. EFFECTS OF
STRESS
40% of all
work-related
illness is
linked to
stress.
Chronic
Cortisol Rule: Get Stressed – Walk it off

17. 3. A biological response mechanism designed to
help us overcome immediate short-term
threats.
WHAT IS STRESS REALLY?

18. THE STRESS RESPONSE

19. THE STRESS RESPONSE
Epinephrine (adrenaline)
• Increase heart rate
• Increase respiration
• Muscles tense
• Perspiration increases
• Energy surge
Cortisol
• Nitrous Oxide
• Corticoid steroid
• Redirects blood flow
in the body away from
non-essential to essential
Norepinephrine
• Brain adrenaline
• Become hyper-alert
• Thinking speeds up
• Redirects blood flow in the brain
• Focus narrows• Focus narrows

20. AN IMPORTANT STRESS RESPONSE
Norepinephrine
• Brain adrenaline
• Become hyper-alert
• Thinking speeds up
• Redirects blood flow in the brain
• Focus narrows
RT: During a F-F-F response norepinephrine restricts blood flow away
from the neocortex, literally making us dumber.

22. THE STRESS RESPONSE

23. HOW DO WE KNOW?
SubjectA.
CB
Eisenberger, N. I., & Lieberman, M. D. (2004). Why rejection hurts: a common neural alarm system for physical and social
pain. Trends in cognitive sciences, 8 (7), 294-300.

24. ©2011 by National Academy of Sciences
Physical Pain
Scan
Social
Rejection
Scan
SOCIAL, EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL THREAT

25. “ok, well what do I do if I am in FIGHT or FLIGHT already?”

26. BREATHE AS THE SNIPERS BREATH

27. BREATHE TACTICALLY
Breath in for a 4 count…
Hold for a 4 count...
Breath out for a 4 count...
Hold for a 4 count...

28. ANOTHER DEFINITION OF STRESS
Eustres
sDistress
AcuteChronic
Hunting with the tribeBeing hunted
Stress can also be defined as:
the perceived inability to control the outcome of a situation

29. ANOTHER DEFINITION OF STRESS
Stress can also be defined as:
the perceived inability to control the outcome of a situation
then we
could change the effect stress has on us.
It would make sense that if we understood how our brain
forms perceptions and, how to control them,

30. THE IMPORTANCE OF THINKING
Lets look at:
How our brain forms
perceptions
and
How we can control we
control them
To start us off a short
video on thinking

31. PERCEPTIONS
2 bits of info you need to
know to understand
perceptions

32. THINKING IN PICTURES
close your eyes and think about your first car…

33. FRAMING THE PICTURE
Do
We think in pictures
Not only that, the brain puts every
picture in its own frame
Do
FeelPride
Lived in it
ThinkGreat Car

34. FRAMING THE PICTURE
Do
Great Car
Pride
Lived in it
The frames gives the picture meaning
Frame of Reference – a thinking habit
These frames create our perceptions

35. FRAMING THE PICTURE
Do
Great Car
Pride
Lived in it
Frames are Helpful or Hinder
Frames are infectious
Frames turn our opinion into the truth
Whoever controls the frames
controls you

36. HELPFUL, HINDERING &
GOALS
Hindering Red-Zone
Frames
A Red-Zone frame is any
frame that hinders me
obtaining my goal.
A Red-Zone frame is not bad,
it is hindering.
Helpful Green-Zone
Frames
A Green-Zone frame is any
frame that is helping me obtain
my goal.
A Green-Zone frame is not
good, it is helpful.

37. HELPFUL AND HINDERING
Angry authority is
dangerous
Scared
Avoid, lie,
blame others
Angry authority is
dangerous
Scared
Avoid, Lie,
Blame others
Angry authority is
dangerous
Scared
Avoid, lie,
blame others

38. Great Car
Happy
Go see it
Great People
Friendly
Have a chat
FRAMES ARE INFECTIOUS

39. OPINION BECOMES THE TRUTH
What feelings
would she have?
(feel)
How might she
behave? (do)
If he is smart what
is he going to do?
Beth
You cant trust men
(think)
AnxiousJealous,
Insecure
Check up on
Accuse
You can’t trust
men

40. HELPFUL AND HINDERING
“You’re going to work laughing,
or you’re going to work crying
but you’re going to work”
- Atz Kilcher
Work Work

41. BRAIN TOOLS

42. 3. The ILoC Tool
brain tools
work home
THE 3 BRAIN TOOLS
2. The Reframe1. Tactical Breathing

43. REFRAMING
Person, Leadership,
Children, Client,
Situation, Problem,
Relationships, Self,
Belief System
You can’t trust men
Happy relationship
You can trust some men

44. A STORY ABOUT REFRAMING

45. REFRAMING
WhatIfeel
What I do
I have to do this I choose to do
this
WhatIfeel
What I do
He/She/That’s (insert
negative)
He/she/that’s interestingCope with this problem Respond to this
challenge

46. POWER OF REFRAMING
RT: When you feel stress, tell yourself
“this is my brain making me stronger”
and you’ll be stronger

47. BRAIN SKILL: REFRAMING
WHO EVER CONTROLS THE FRAME
CONTROLS THE GAME
What’s his problem?
That’s not fair.
He was certainly interesting.
What type of person does that?
Hepissedmeoff
Iwonder…?

48. REFRAMING

49. BUILDING RESILIENCE
So, we have defined stress as:
The perceived inability to control the outcome of a situation.
We know how the brain
creates perceptions
We are now going to look at a
psychological concept for taking
control
The perceived inability to control the outcome of a situation

50. JOSEPH & ALICE HOPPNER

51. LOCUS OF CONTROL

52. Locus: Where something is situated or occurs
Control: To exercise dominating influence over
LOCUS OF CONTROL

53. LOCUS OF CONTROL
So, Locus of Control (LOC) is a duel set of frames that
describe your belief that life is:
Something we can control
or
Something that controls us.

54. Known as ILoCs.
Responsible for, personally accountable and in control of
their experience of life.
Believe that what they do matters regarding productivity,
quality, safety, leadership or any facet of work and life.
When ILoCs get results that are not what was intended,
they are the first to look at what they could have done
differently. I Ching
INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL

55. RESEARCH ON ILOCS
The research literature tells us that in general ILoCs are:
Happier Healthier Wealthier
Have better
relationships
Better in learning
situations Higher self-esteem
Less likely to give
up
Less degenerative
disease

56. Of most interest to us is that ILoC’s report:
1. having lower levels of stress,
2. experience stress less frequently and
3. feel very capable of dealing with it.

57. Known as ELoCs.
ELoCs believe they are a victim of fate, luck or chance
They blame and accuse other people for their problems
and feel justified.
They believe they are not responsible or in control of their
life, so are powerless to change it.
EXTERNAL LOCUS OF
CONTROL

58. RESEARCH ON ELOCSThe research tells us that generally speaking ELoCs are:
Unhappier Unhealthier Poorer
Worse
Relationships
Do worse in Learning
situations Lower Self Esteem More likely to
give up
More degenerative
disease

59. ELOCS AND STRESS
Of most interest to us ELoC’s report:
1. Experiencing stress more often
2. Experience worse levels of stress
3. Being poor at dealing with it
Of most interest to us is that ELoC’s report :
1. experiencing very high levels of stress,
2. experience stress more frequently and
3. feel limited in their capacity manage it

60. The perceived inability to control the outcome of a situation.
“I’m responsible and in control”
“I’m not responsible or in control”

61. AN AUSSIE STUDY ON LOC
An Australian study on Locus of Control found that ELoCs were far
more likely to be described as a “whinger” or a “sook”.
This is so common It is known as a BMW mentality.
Whinging
Moaning
Bitching

62. THE
BMW
ELOCS
MOMENT
S
we all have them. acknowledge it. time-box it. get back to ILoC

63. COSTS & BENEFITS
Benefits:
I don’t have to take responsibility
I get to stay safe In The Stands
Costs:
I am a victim of life and everything in it
Costs:
I take responsibility for failures and successes.
Being On The Court means I could “lose”
Benefits:
Being On The Court means I could “win” I buy my
personal freedom

64. POWER TO THE PIZZA DELIVERY GUY

65. ILOC OR ELOC?
ORAND
Neuroplasticity research has shown conclusively that through conscious practice we
can become more ILoC.

66. ILOC AND OPTIMISMBeing ILoC is not just
thinking positively about
everything.
That is a different
psychological concept
known as
being delusional.
Being an ILoC is more
realistic, more difficult
and much more effective
than “positive thinking”.

67. STOCKDALE THINKING
Stockdale Thinking is the foundation of ILoC thinking
Admiral Jim Stockdale
Navel Aviator in Vietnam conflict
8 years in the “Hanoi Hilton” during the Vietnam War
Prisoners tortured to take away their power – no one resists
torture forever
Stockdale got it back
Instituted rules that after x minutes, you can say certain things
Gave a way to regain some control

68. AN INTERVIEW WITH STOCKDALE
So, who didn’t make it out of the prisons?
The optimists?
“The optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’
And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by
Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be
Christmas again.
And they died of a broken heart.”
Acknowledgements to Jim Collins book: Good to Great.
“Oh that’s easy – The optimists. The optimists all died.

69. STOCKDALE THINKING
This is very important:
You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end - with the discipline
to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Both are essential.
This is foundational philosophy of the ILoC
sureness of success
the brutal facts
stockdale thinking
PLUS

70. WHAT’S IN YOUR CONTROLILoCs know what they can and can’t control and focus on that
ENVIRONMENT
SPHERE OF
INFLUENCE
think
feel
do & say
SPHERE OF CONTROL
NO CONTROL OR INFLUENCE
WHAT YOU ACTUALLY CONTROL
SOME INFLUENCE, NO CONTROL

71. THE ILOC TOOL
Have a look at your
index card
What is one or two of
the stress factors you
can take control of
Money
Kids
Schooling
Spending
habits
Lack of
savings
Lack of
budget
Create a
budget
Start a
small
saving plan

72. The perceived inability to control the
outcome of a situation.
in summary
Eustress
(you stress)
Distress
AcuteChronic
3. ILoC Tool
1. Tac Breath
2. Reframe

73. A FINAL NOTE…
image source: Brisbane Courier Mail. Used with permission
what is the purpose of a coach?
outside eyes on the game
game of life?

74. A FINAL NOTE…
game of life?
not about tissues and couches
A-Grade game of life coaches

76. QUESTIONS