2. I am William Whitney, head financial advisor, Mendel, Bluth and Crotty Inc. The person reading this presentation to you, word for word, is my assistant, Dustin. Wave hello, Dustin! Dustin's something else. Twenty-three and quite a shark. (Ladies, hold onto your panties. He doesn't call the morning after, you know what I'm saying?)
3. At this point, I suspect you're wondering what's going on.
7. This also explains why this presentation is so amateurish. I usually delegate this sort of stuff to Dustin. But that would have ruined the surprise!
12. At this point, you are probably wondering why I bothered creating this presentation. What is in it for me?
13. This: For once in my life, I get to tell everyone exactly what I think of them without fear of repercussion, reprisal, or uncomfortable moments in the kitchenette.
