-BENEATHTHEHATComplete07-17-15

Beneath the Hat
Adapted from the screenplay How-Dee
©
by Judy Bryte
Judy Bryte
(850) 960-5839

INTRODUCTION
This is the story about a young southern girl, by the name of Sarah Ophelia
Colley, who graduated from college in the early 1930s. She aspired to become the
next Katharine Hepburn. She struggled for years, defying her family and traveling the
rural south staging plays. She was determined to be discovered and whisked onto
Broadway. That didn’t happen. She was almost ready to give up her dream and go
home when fate intervened. She met a family in Bailyton, Alabama that she loved so
much she started telling stories about them. She truly loved these kind, generous,
simple folks. Her audiences love them too! She was always cautious that her
audiences would laugh with them, not at them. The country was still reeling from the
great depression and she discovered that people yearned to hear warm, amusing
stories about a simpler time and life. She created her Grinder’s Switch community and
ingratiated herself into their families as Minnie Pearl. She had found her niche. She
would soon be discovered and whisked off to the big stage. It just wasn’t the stage she
thought it’d be. It was bigger, much bigger. It was the Grand Ole Opry. During her fifty
plus years of Opry membership, national radio and television appearances she
transcended the boundaries of country music and became an international star. The
National Endowment for the Arts honored her by presenting her with the prestigious
National Medal of Arts. Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett and Lily Tomlin probably didn't
realize, when they created their characters and talked about them, that Minnie was the
first woman to use a character in her routines. There was one major difference between
those beloved, wonderful comediennes and Minnie - Minnie actually became Minnie
Pearl onstage and Minnie off. Our story is about Minnie … a true American icon.
This play is not meant to be biographical in any sense, but to capture the
essence of Minnie as we knew her. She was a brilliant woman and the polar opposite
of her character, Minnie Pearl.
The story takes place from the 1930s through 1996, when Minnie died.
The story line is told by flashbacks as Minnie and Henry, her husband of 49
years, recall their fondest memories - or better yet, episodes - to some of their closest
friends. You'll get to know Hot Dot, Annie and Modine as Minnie recollects some of
their antics and predicaments. You'll laugh out loud and love the girls as much as
Minnie did. You'll find Henry to be both tender and mischievous, and will come to
understand why they were the perfect match.
The music is the genre of the time and appropriately follows the time line. There
are some original songs and some dance. We don't believe we can call it a musical
comedy, but we can assuredly call it a raucous comedy.
There's a bittersweet final scene when Minnie dies, but, you'll delight in knowing
Minnie Pearl didn't die. She'll be with us as long as women in comedy exist.

STAGE AND SET UP
Minnie’s hospital suite is a permanent set on stage right. Flashback scenes are
performed on center stage. Lighting and scrims are used when necessary to change
scenes.

CHARACTERS (14)
Brenda Dee Country star, classic country/rock singer
Henry Cannon (elder) Quick wit, military bearing. Dresses in primarily khakis, deck
shoes and button down shirts. Soft accent.
Henry Cannon (younger) Handsome, tall, dark haired, military bearing, quick wit.
When not in uniform, dresses “preppy”.
Minnie (elder) Gray hair pulled up in a bun, sparkling eyes and wit.
Paralyzed left arm. Mentally alert. Soft drawl.
ALWAYS ELDER MINNIE ON HOSPITAL SET.
Minnie (younger) Cute and slim. Good comedic timing. Familiar with Minnie
Pearl character.
Hot Dot Hot Dot - 20-80. Short, cute, stocky. Blonde when younger,
(doubles as Tuggle Triplet) graying when older. Soft drawl. Loves bridge, gossip.
Lives with Annie.
Tuggle Triplet - sings and clogs.
Annie Annie - Tall, athletic. Pretty brunette when younger, salt and
(doubles as Tuggle Triplet) pepper when older; always has short, tousled hair. Avid
tennis player, loves all sports. Lives with Hot Dot.
Modine Modine - Frat sweetheart in college, always provocative at
(doubles as Tuggle Triplet) any age. Hair color never changes. Never a dull moment
when she’s around. Loves men, travels a lot and loves
bridge. Best described as a lovable antagonist.

Lady Barbara of Essex 50ish. Equestrian in the royal family. British highbrow with
(doubles as Redneck’s wife) great, dry sense of humor. Follows tennis avidly. Does
Wimbledon every year.
Jaz Jaz - Private nurse to Minnie in nursing home. 40ish black
(doubles as Mary) woman. Very wry sense of humor. Obviously likes Minnie.
Mary - Minnie’s house manager; one of the family. She and
Minnie are good friends. Tolerates Henry but obviously likes
him.
Jerome Powell Friend of Henry’s. Handsome, black Army Air Corp 1943
(doubles as voice of hero. Wears uniform with medals.
Captain’s steward)
Aunt Ambrosy 65ish, gray hair in bun. Soft and sweet. Deep drawl.
(doubles as patron at Wife of Uncle Nabob.
Noel Hotel coffee shop
doubles as Housemother)
Uncle Nabob 65ish, balding. General store owner. Deep drawl. Big grin,
(doubles as patron at kind.
Noel Hotel coffee shop)
Brother Brother - Nephew. Clerk in store. 6’, handsome, athletic.
(doubles as Redneck at Not slow, but not sophisticated. Deep drawl.
Noel Hotel coffee shop) Redneck – Unkempt, wears overalls.

Act I, Scene I - Page 1 of 10
ACT I, SCENE I
Curtain rises to sounds of orchestra tuning up. There is a single microphone on a
stand, center stage front. Back drop is a curtain with a single pew (or bench) in front of
drapes.
Voice over announcer:
Okay, we’re ready for your run through.
Minnie (younger) [off stage]:
Where’s my cue?
Announcer:
Comin’ at ya! Ladies and gentlemen, Cousin Minnie Pearl.
Band goes into “Coming Round the Mountain”
Minnie (younger):
How-Deeee! [holds out her arms]
Announcer:
How-Deee
Minnie (younger):
[grins] I’m so proud to be here - ESPECIALLY tonight to support the Minnie Pearl
Cancer Foundation. I’d like to welcome and thank all you ladies and gentlemen for
being here. [pauses] Cancer is a mighty scary word. I know this from experience.
The folks at the Minnie Pearl Cancer Foundation are fighting diligently to eradicate
cancer. I’m thrilled to announce tonight – I’m cancer free! [bows] I jes wanna remind
y’all to get yo checkups. And, if y’all had cancer, to go for yo follow ups. That reminds
me – I just had a follow up last week. You’ll love this story. Y’all know how I’m always
chasing fellas? [pauses] I thought I’d caught me one. I was in a wonderful mood.
Checkup was great, and I was almost skipping as I got into the elevator to leave. There
he was – Mr. Cool! I sorta nodded at him and he nodded back. I turned forward and
felt his eyes on my back. I glanced over my shoulder and gave him my best come-
hither look. He smiled back, but didn’t make any moves. I just figured he’d noticed me
and would make his move when we got off the elevator. When the door opened, I
bounced out and slowed down so he could move in. It took him a coupla seconds and I
was beginning to walk away. Then, he tapped me on the shoulder. Ah-ha, I thought to
myself. I turned around shyly and sorta cocked my head as I looked at him. Then, he
said, “anybody ever tell you that you look like Minnie Pearl?” I nodded coyly. THEN he
said, “Makes you mad, don’t it?” [pauses] I could’ve slugged him. [pauses] Y’all have
fun tonight. There’s some fabulous entertainment coming your way!

Band goes into “Coming Round the Mountain” as Minnie exits.
That was fabulous!
Minnie (younger) [turns toward voice as she walks offstage]:
Thanks. Hope I make Minnie proud.
I’m sure you do. [pauses] Okay, Ms. Dee, ready for yo’ sound check?
Brenda Dee walks on stage and stands at microphone.
Try yo’ mike, please ma’am. Just need to tweak the sound.
Brenda:
Test one, two
Announcer:
Need a little more than that. How ‘bout some dialogue.
Brenda:
Okie dokie. [clears throat] We want to honor Miss Minnie Pearl and the Minnie Pearl
Cancer Foundation tonight. As a cancer survivor she showed us how even in the
darkest times love and laughter will get us through. I’ll never forget her telling me that
laughter is like having a hug from a good friend. And her cancer foundation is built with
love and a hug. We support it with all our hearts!
Announcer:
Great! Now, one more thing. Could you do a little bit of a song with the band?
Brenda:
[nods to band in pit]. Okay, y’all, hit it.
Band goes into Finders Keepers. Brenda sings first two lines of song and stops.
Don’t tell me how much you’ll cry and miss me
When I’m gone …
Brenda:
How’s that?

Announcer:
It’s okay, but would you finish the song please, we love it.
Brenda:
[bows slightly] Why, thank you, suh! [nods to band] Okay, y’all, let’s do all of it.
Don't tell me how much you'll cry and miss me
when I'm gone.
I left you one too many times
I know now I was wrong.
Finders keepers
now you've got me, honey, for all time
I'm not leaving you again
You must be outta you're mind
CHORUS:
Finders keepers
That's how the story goes
Losers weepers
Guess you'll never know
Finders keepers
I'll play your silly game
I found you and you found me
The difference is the same
You just lay there lying
'bout the things you're gonna do
You don't know the meaning of
To thine own self be true
You and I can't live apart
we tried it once that way
You think I'll walk out again
Honey, that'll be the day
REPEAT CHORUS
You can have your beer and peanuts
I have my mink coat
It's so easy to appease me
You'll think it's a joke
Mama always told me
I'd get you in the end

She was right and
diamonds are a girl’s best friend
REPEAT CHORUS
As Brenda finishes the song the guys in sound booth and the band applaud. She grins,
waves and turns to leave. She realizes someone is standing there. She squints.
Brenda:
Henry?
Older Henry comes into view and hugs Brenda.
Henry:
[holding Brenda at arm’s length] Just had to come down and thank y’all for everything
you’re doing for us. Minnie wanted me to tell y’all to break a leg.
Brenda:
I don’t suppose there’s any way she could be here.
Henry:
‘Fraid not, but believe me – she’s here in spirit!
Brenda
[big grin] That’s for sure. Her spirit is all over the place! [pauses, looking at Henry].
Hey, have you got a few minutes to catch me up on how she’s doing? I’d love to hear
the truth, ‘stead of just reading it in the press.
Henry:
Of course, darlin’. [takes Brenda’s hand, leads her over to the bench where they sit,
then looks at her] The truth is she’s not gonna get any better and they just told me they
think her cancer has returned, dammit! But, for some reason she won’t give up; says
she’s afraid Minnie Pearl will be forgotten. Can’t imagine why she’d think that.
Brenda:
Me either. Look at all she’s done. Queen of Country Comedy, [pauses] member of
the Grand Ole’ Opry, [pauses] member of the Country Music Hall of Fame [long pause]
as a comedienne, not a singer - which is a first.

Henry:
[interjecting] Yeah, that one really thrilled her. She was nominated 14 times before she
won it. I’d given up and didn’t go to the presentation that night. The girls went with her.
I should’ve known. Talk about feeling like a schmuck.
Brenda:
I’m sure she forgave you !
Henry:
Oh yeah, [pauses] for that!
Brenda:
[looks puzzled] There’s more to this story?
Henry:
[grins] Ohhhhh, yes. You know how secretive the balloting is? Sorta like choosing a
new pope every year. The boys are cloistered in a conference room making their
decision. Only you watch for the smoke to stop, not change colors. When they stop
smoking, the decision is done.
Brenda:
Uh huh. So?
Henry:
Mary Cannon, ‘member her, Minnie’s house manager? [Brenda nods] Yeah, well. Mary
and I decided we’d hide out in the CMA building the night of the voting and get some
firsthand info. We’d know when to make our move when the smoke cleared.
Brenda:
[amusedly shocked] YOU DIDN’T! Did it work??
Henry:
[laughs] Not exactly. But, we did manage to get into the building. Mary was dressed
as a housekeeper and I was a maintenance man. Nobody gave us a second glance.
We were gettin’ pretty cocky by the time we got to the second floor and saw all the
smoke.
Brenda:
So you found the secret room, huh?
Henry:
Yep! We just couldn’t hear a damn thing. Mary swept the floor and I looked at electrical
plugs for at least 4 hours trying to hear. Mary was holding back coughing from the
smoke. I was silently swearing. AND the smoke was thicker than ever. We still
couldn’t make out what they were saying. Mary thought she heard Minnie mentioned,
but I wasn’t sure. Then I WAS SURE I heard chairs being pushed back.

Brenda:
They were done?
Henry:
Hell no! It was break time. So, there we were, exposed to the entire CMA board. We
had to hide!
Brenda:
[laughs] What’d y’all do?
Henry:
Jumped into a closet, which was a great idea till I discovered it only opened from the
outside.
Brenda:
[laughs harder] Oh, my god, Henry. What’d y’all do?
Henry:
We got the giggles. Mary started it, and, trust me when I tell you, they’re contagious.
Brenda:
[tries to contain laughter] How’d y’all escape?
Henry:
Mary heard Acuff whistling Wabash Cannonball and weakly called out, ‘Mister Roy,
Mister Roy!’ All I could think of is we were about to be freed by the Mouth of the South.
Roy just loved a good story. I had visions of our escapade being exposed on National
Radio. We’d probably be more famous than Minnie. I wouldn’t have to kill myself, she’d
do it for me.
Brenda:
Apparently, Acuff kept quiet about it. You’re still here!
Henry:
That’s true. But, I had to fly him and his band free of charge to wherever he wanted to
go from then on!
Brenda:
[laughs] Did Minnie ever find out?
Henry:
Sorta. Mary started to tell her about the smoky room in the CMA building, then told her
to ask me. I blamed it on Acuff! Think she still wonders ‘bout it on occasion. But, since
she won that year – hmmmm - maybe that’s why Acuff kept quiet. Ha! Never thought
‘bout that till now.

Brenda:
[grins ear to ear and continues] Yeah, but winning that award was only part of her
contributions to us and the world. We all know and remember some other things she’s
accomplished. She’s not only a star on National radio and television, the National
Endowment for the Arts presented her with the prestigious National Medal of Arts.
[pauses] And she’s helped so many others.
Henry:
You don’t know the half of it.
Brenda:
[looking incredulous] Minnie Pearl won’t be forgotten. How could she be? Look at all
the women in comedy she influenced. Remember Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett and Lily
Tomlin all used characters in their routines? Minnie started that concept.
Henry:
[wide eyed] I never thought of that!
Brenda:
[continues] And when she got cancer, she not only beat it, she gave us the Minnie
Pearl Cancer Foundation to help others. No, she won’t be forgotten.
Henry:
I agree with you. But, she’s not convinced. Just the other day she asked me if I still
loved her as an old bag – her words. I couldn’t believe it!
Brenda:
What’d you tell her?
Henry:
I reminded her that ‘Time doesn’t matter; I’d love her forever’.
Brenda:
What’d she say to that?
Henry:
She said [grins] “Just checking. [pauses] Then she said, “me too you, you old geezer”.
Brenda:
[laughs] That’s Minnie. [pauses] Hey, didn’t I hear y’all celebrated your anniversary
last month?
Henry:
[pauses, looks up as if thinking and grins] Yep. Spent it quietly; just us and about 50
other people who showed up at the hospital. Champagne and cake was delicious.
Minnie REALLY liked the champagne!

Brenda:
49 years and you’re still in love. Good for you! Incidentally, how in the world did you, a
handsome, debonair, man about town and decorated pilot, meet and fall in love with a
hillbilly comic?
Henry:
[smiles] Acuff. AGAIN.
Brenda:
Again? Maybe YOU should’ve given him that Lifetime Achievement Award instead of
the Kennedy Center.
Henry:
Yep. Good thought. Meeting Minnie was certainly a lifetime achievement for me.
Brenda:
Were you star struck when you met her
Henry:
NO, I was ‘Minnie’ struck.
Brenda:
Tell me about it!
Henry:
[smiles] We met in 1943. The war was raging and I was on my way to Washington to
get a medal from Mrs. Roosevelt. I wanted to crow about it to Acuff – but, I also wanted
to thank him for the war bond effort.
Brenda:
You knew him before the war?
Henry:
Of course – I knew him even before he became the King of Country Music - used to fly
him to some dates. [pauses] Anyway, when I stopped through, I wanted to meet up with
him back stage at the Opry. Well, I couldn’t find him at first, so I was sorta standing in
the wings watching the show.
Brenda:
So, he was on stage?
Henry:
No. They had just announced [loudly] COUSIN MINNIE PEARL. [pauses] I
remember it like it was yesterday. See that mike over there?
Brenda nods

Henry:
That’s where she was the first time I saw her.
Brenda and Henry look toward center stage mike where young Henry is silhouetted.
SCRIM OPENS TO MINNIE PEARL (younger) – 2-4 minutes of Minnie Pearl’s
routine.
Minnie leaves stage and we segue back to Brenda and Henry
Brenda:
What’d you think?
Henry:
I was mesmerized. I couldn’t believe it!
Brenda:
How come?
Henry:
We were in the middle of a world war. The country was all terrified and there was this
little country girl who went on stage and made the audience laugh. I think they were
relieved to hear her talk about a world that was much more loving and simple than the
terror we were facing. AND, she made it seem so real. They believed her – if only for
the moment. [pauses] They LOVED her for it! And, get this …
Brenda:
What?
Henry:
She loved ‘em back.
Brenda:
She’s truly the best.
Henry:
[looks away sadly] Still is.
Brenda:
So, did Acuff introduce you backstage?
Henry:
Oh, no. Just as Minnie finished he walked up behind me and slapped me on the back.
We chatted for 5 or 10 minutes, then he told me to go on over to the Noel Hotel Coffee

Shop and entertain his other guests - as he put it, ‘a bevy of young honeys’ - and he’d
be there shortly. I was more than happy to oblige. But, I gotta tell you, Minnie Pearl
was still on my mind.
FADE OUT TO SCENE II

Act I, Scene II - Page 1 of 5
ACT I, SCENE II
FADE IN TO COFFEE SHOP SET
Café interior. Noisy conversations going on. Round six top with four girls - Hot Dot,
Annie, Modine and Minnie – seated 2 tables back from door. 2 couples seated in front
at 2 tops – Uncle Nabob, Aunt Ambrosy, redneck and his wife. Crowd is chatting. Hot
Dot gets up from table and goes over to jukebox, picks out a song and goes back to
table.
Previous song, Great Speckled Bird, is finishing up when Henry walks in. He is dressed
in full Army Air Corp uniform, loaded with medals. He takes off his hat and looks
around. Aunt Ambrosy sees him looking over the crowd and goes up to greet him.
Aunt Ambrosy:
Lookin’ for somebody, suh?
Henry:
Yes’um. Roy Acuff sent me over to entertain his guests. [grins big] I think I see them.
[points to girls at round top]
Aunt Ambrosy:
Yessuh, they’re regulars – every Saturday night – jes like us.
Henry:
Acuff’s got good taste.
Aunt Ambrosy:
They’re pretty fond of him too. Is he coming over?
Henry:
Not til he finishes up his show. [pauses] Lucky break for me!
Aunt Ambrosy:
[looks over Henry again, grins] I’d say lucky for them too!
Henry:
[glances more intently at the girls] Is that Minnie Pearl with them?
Aunt Ambrosy:
Why, yes’suh, it sho’ is.
Henry:
Think I should just go on over?

Aunt Ambrosy:
I’d wait a sec. They just played a song on the jukebox.
Henry:
Is that important?
Aunt Ambrosy:
Jes wait.
Intro to ‘Ain’t We Got Fun’ starts to play. The girls, their arms locked together, wait for
the chorus, where they exuberantly join in. Modine is ESPECIALLY exuberant.
In the mawning in the evenin
Ain't we got fun
Not much money, oh, but honey
Ain't we got fun
The rent's unpaid, dear, we haven't a car
but that's ok, dear, we're okay where we are
In the winter, in the summer
Don't we have fun?
Times are bum and getting bummer
Still we have fun
There's nothin' surer
The rich get rich and the poor get poorer
In the meantime, in between time
Ain't we got fun
Things are bad at getting better
But we have fun
We got grits and collard greens
Ain't we got fun
There's nothin surer
the rich get rich and the poor get children
In the meantime. in between time
Ain't we got fun.
tag: Ain't we got fun
The girls finish on a high note and crowd applauds. Modine stands up and bows. Annie
jerks her back down.

Henry:
[happily enchanted] I see what you mean.
Aunt Ambrosy:
I think the coast is clear. I’ll jes go back to my table now. Good luck, son, and thank
you for yo’ service.
Henry:
Thank you so much, ma’am.
Aunt Ambrosy returns to her table and Henry struts over to the girls.
Henry:
Hi, girls. I’m Henry Cannon, a friend of Roy Acuff. He didn’t think y’all would mind if I
kept y’all company til he gets here.
Modine:
[eyes Henry approvingly] Well, bless his lil heart! Course we don’t mind. Here,
Captain Cannon, sit by me. [pats empty chair] I’m Modine and these other girls are
friends of mine. We all went to school together
Henry:
[checks out the table] Do they have names, too?
Modine:
[somewhat flustered, points to each girl] Oh alright. That’s Hot Dot, Annie and Minnie.
Henry:
[catches Minnie’s eye for a long moment] I know who that one is. She was wonderful
on the show tonight.
Minnie Pearl:
[bashfully] Why, thank you, suh. [pauses] And I think you’re wonderful for what you’re
doing for all of us! And – you’re a pilot.
Henry:
[grins and salutes] Yes, maam.
Minnie:
I’ve always been intrigued with flying.
Henry:
[looks surprised] Can you fly?

Minnie:
Heavens, no. [pauses] But, I CAN plot an adiabatic weather chart.
Henry:
[wide-eyed, looks astounded] That’s impressive.
Minnie:
Oh, not really. I took meteorology in school. That’s the only thing I remember about it.
Henry:
[grins] I’m still impressed.
Modine:
[looks perplexed] Yeah – I have to admit – she’s verrrrrrrrry smart.
Minnie:
[sweetly] Why, thank you, Modine.
Modine:
[brashfully to Henry] BUT, I’m the one you need to know. TRUST ME!
Henry grins at Modine. The other girls glare at her. She’s oblivious to their displeasure.
Annie leans over and whispers something to Modine who gets a huge grin.
Modine:
[innocently to Henry] Did Roy send you over to ask us to join your mile high club?
Minnie almost chokes on her coffee and Hot Dot swats at Annie, who is bent double
laughing
Henry:
[tries to regain his composure, suppresses a laugh, coughs] I’d be delighted if I had
more time, but I’m on my way to Washington with another pilot. He oughta’ be here any
minute. I asked the back stage security guard to direct him over here.
Modine:
Oh, how exciting. Does he have a mile high club, too?
Minnie puts her head on the table and groans. Annie and Hot Dot can barely contain
themselves. Henry laughs out loud.

Henry:
OH, look! There he is now, coming in the door.
The café suddenly becomes deadly silent. Jerome, a very handsome black officer in
full dress uniform complete with medals has just entered the café. He takes off his hat
and looks over the crowd. Henry rushes up to meet him, salutes and shakes his hand.
Jerome is obviously glad to see Henry. Henry turns to the patrons.
Henry:
Folks, this is the man who single handedly saved my entire squadron in a skirmish over
Italy. He’s the pride of the Fighter Division of the Tuskegee Airmen. We’re on our way
to Washington where Mrs. Roosevelt herself is presenting him and me with medals.
There is a smattering of applause, but, the girls are cheering and applauding wildly.
Henry motions for them to come up. The girls start to the front and Redneck jumps up
from his table and blocks Minnie’s way.
Redneck:
[to Minnie] I thought you was one of us!
Minnie:
[looks quizzically, pauses] But, suh, I am one of you. [long pause] We’re all
homosapiens, aren’t we?
Laughter from customers
Redneck:
[almost rabid now, sputtering] Hell, no. I ain’t one of them – or HIM NEITHER! [points
to Jerome]
Modine is straining to get to Redneck, but Hot Dot and Annie are holding her back.
Redneck’s wife frantically pulls him back down in his seat. The entire restaurant
explodes with applause. (note: band can do sounds and applause for patrons)
FADE OUT TO SCENE III

Act I, Scene III - Page 1 of 2
ACT I, SCENE III
FADE IN TO BENCH SET WITH HENRY AND BRENDA
Brenda:
That’s our Minnie.
Henry:
After that she was gonna’ be my Minnie. I was smitten. [pauses] I sent her a personal
adiabatic weather chart for Valentine’s that year. Didn’t even have an address for her,
so I sent it to The Pearl, care of Grand Ole Opry, Nashville, Tennessee. I signed it ‘your
Henry’.
Brenda:
Did she get it?
Henry:
Oh, yes. Had it framed. It’s still hanging in our hallway at home. When she’d get mad
with me – [grins] I’m not perfect – I’d catch her staring at it. She couldn’t stay mad very
long.
Brenda:
That’s a wonderful story. So she wrote you back?
Henry:
Yes, and with a return address. We started writing each other constantly. Oh – this is
something you’ll be surprised about. Wasn’t til two years later that I found out Minnie
Pearl wasn’t her real name.
Brenda:
[looks shocked] NO! How’d you find out?
Henry:
I met her folks. They were NOT Mr. and Mrs. Pearl. AND in her hometown they called
her Ophelia – AND Sarah – AND Ophie. I decided she’d be Minnie to me. Actually,
she’s Minnie to everybody now!
Brenda:
[chuckles] Yeah, she’ll always be Minnie to us - and the world. [long pause] Y’all have
had such a great life, and so many exciting times. Do you have a favorite memory?

Act I, Scene III - Page 2 of 2
Henry:
[looks playful] Far too many favorites to mention, but one in particular stands out.
Brenda:
What’s that?
Henry:
[big grin] Our honeymoon.
Brenda:
[slaps Henry’s arm] HENRY! Everybody’s honeymoon is memorable.
Henry:
[still grinning]: Not like this one!
Brenda:
Well, don’t keep me in suspense.
Henry:
Ohhh, it all started out pretty normal. We drove to New Orleans in Minnie’s new yellow
convertible, spent the night at the Roosevelt Hotel, and the next morning boarded the
Delta General for a cruise. That’s when it all began.
Brenda:
[leaning forward, listening intently] What??
Henry:
The suite was lovely ……
FADE OUT TO SCENE IV

Act I, Scene IV - Page 1 of 5
ACT I, SCENE IV
FADE IN TO RIVERBOAT SET
Interior of riverboat suite with port hole, steamer trunk on floor, bed, door leading to
bathroom and suite entry door.
Young Henry and Minnie enter.
Minnie:
[scratches her arm] Henry, I’ve got a problem. [pauses] I’m itching like hell. I guess you
think I’m allergic to you.
Henry:
[scratches his butt] Hell, I’ve got the same itch. Thought I caught it from you. I can
barely keep my clothes on.
Minnie:
[grins] You had THAT same problem last night.
Henry:
[returns the grin] Different itch, I assure you!
Minnie:
Well, we gotta do something. I can’t sit still.
Henry:
Wonder if the ship’s doctor has something? [pauses] If not, chloroform will do.
Minnie:
[loudly, emphatically while still scratching] GO FIND HIM … please.
Henry races out the door. Minnie turns to unpack the steamer trunk, scratching all the
while. There is a knock on the door.
Minnie:
[looks flustered, almost screaming] Who’s there?
Male voice from other side of door [OFFSTAGE]:
Captain’s Steward, maam. Have a bottle of champagne and a note from the Captain for
you and Captain Cannon.

Minnie:
[tries to compose herself as she opens the door] Oh, how kind.
Steward [still offstage on outside of door]:
He’d be honored if y’all would join him at his table tonight for dinner.
Minnie:
OH GOD!
Steward [outside door]:
Maam???
Minnie:
[regains composure] Oh, good! YES. We accept with pleasure. [grabs tray and
quickly slams door in his face]
Steward [on other side of door]:
Six bells for cocktails, maam, and seven bells for dinner.
Minnie:
[scratching again as she sits the tray down, speaks to herself] Just wonderful!
Henry [arriving back to suite]:
[huge grin] I’ve got the cure. [holds up a bottle of liquid]
Minnie:
[frantically] Don’t just stand there holding it, Henry. Does it work?
Henry:
Beautifully, on everything that itches.
Minnie:
[scratching her knee] That’s a good thing ‘cause I itch all over.
Henry:
[sweetly] I have a suggestion, darlin’. Draw a hot, soothing bubble bath and put it in the
bath water. In five minutes you’ll be cured.
Minnie:
What a fabulous idea. I’m beginning to think you’re wonderful [pauses] again.
Henry:
After your bath, dearest, I’ll show you how wonderful.
Minnie:
[blushing] Ohhhh, Henry.

Minnie races through the bathroom door with the bottle of liquid in her hand. Offstage
we hear water running and Minnie is humming. We hear splashing sounds.
Minnie [offstage]:
Henry, it’s a miracle, it works!
Henry:
[smugly] Told ya.
Henry continues to unpack steamer trunk. All of a sudden, Minnie screeches (still
offstage).
Minnie [offstage]:
HENRY!!!
Henry:
[looks concerned] What’s wrong, darlin’?
Minnie [offstage]:
[mournfully] I’m blue.
Henry:
But, darlin’, a minute ago you were so happy …
Minnie [offstage]:
[emphatically] NO, FOOL! I’m the color blue, [pauses] ALL OVER.
Henry:
[nonchalantly] Oh, just wipe it off.
Minnie [offstage]:
[emphatically] Henry, I soaked in it. I tried to scrub it off with the towel. IT WON’T
COME OFF!
Henry stops unpacking and looks in the bathroom door. He jerks his head back out,
covers his mouth to keep from laughing, then regains his composure.
Henry:
[sweetly] I don’t care what color you are, darlin’. You’re still beautiful to me.

Minnie [offstage]
[speaks frantically] Don’t be condescending, Henry. What the hell am I gonna do?
Henry:
[tries not to laugh] I’ve got some khakis and a shirt you can wear. That oughta’ cover
you.
Minnie [offstage]:
We’re going to sit at the Captain’s table tonight. OH MY GOD!
Henry:
You’ll be so charming he won’t care what you’re wearing.
Minnie [offstage]:
[almost whimpering] You have any socks and gloves?
Henry:
Of course, dearest, military issue! The BEST.
Minnie [offstage]:
Oh, that’s encouraging. [long pause] Well, give ‘em to me.
Henry, chuckling all the while, puts the clothes together and passes them through the
bathroom door to Minnie. He continues to unpack. We hear groans from the bathroom.
Minnie bursts into the room looking very chic in Henry’s clothes.
Minnie:
Whadda’ ya think?
Henry:
I think they’ll think you’re a star.
Minnie rushes to Henry and he consoles her with a hug.
Henry:
You’ll be fabulous. Probably start a new fashion trend. Anyway, there’s a new singer
performing tonight. I hear he’s good.
Minnie:
What’s his name?

Henry:
Jim Nabors. He’s from Alabama.
Minnie:
I hope he’s so good he’ll take everybody’s mind off me.
FADE OUT TO SCENE V

Act I, Scene V - Page 1 of 2
ACT I, SCENE V
FADE IN ON BENCH SET WITH HENRY & BRENDA
Brenda:
Jim Nabors??? GAW-AH-LEE. You mean the guy who was Gomer Pyle on t.v.?
Henry:
Yep. And his singing was as good as promised. He was thrilled to meet Minnie. He
had sung the song I requested for her.
Brenda:
What was that?
Henry:
‘Beyond the Blue Horizon’.
Brenda:
Bet that went over big.
Henry:
Yeah, right. But, she was so intrigued with Jim I don’t think she cared.
Brenda:
What’d he say when he met her?
Henry:
Shazam!
Brenda laughs
Henry:
We became good friends. He’s visited us several times. He loved our pool parties. He
brought Rock Hudson to one of them. Modine was all over him!
Brenda:
How’d he handle it?
Henry:
Who, Rock? [Brenda nods] He was charming and a perfect gentleman, much to her
dismay. She was despondent for a whole twenty-four hours. [pauses] Hey! We invited
you several times.

Act I, Scene V - Page 2 of 2
Brenda:
[long face] I know! What a bummer. I was always touring and couldn’t come.
Henry:
[checks his watch] Goodness. Didn’t mean to keep you so long.
Brenda:
I’ve loved it. [grins] We’ve got to stop meeting like this.
Henry:
[grabs both Brenda’s hands and gives her a kiss on the cheek] I’ll see you tomorrow.
Minnie’s got a big day and doesn’t know it yet.
Brenda:
Oh?
Henry:
Lady Barbara of Essex is coming in!
Brenda
[clapping her hands] That’s wonderful!
Henry starts walking away
Brenda:
[almost yelling] What was that blue stuff?
Henry:
[turns back to face Brenda, laughing] Gentian Violet. Seems the seats in her new car
had chiggers in ‘em. [big grin] That doctor was right. That stuff really does cure ANY
itch, but to this day she still doesn’t like anything blue.
Brenda laughs as Henry leaves.
FADE OUT TO SCENE VI

Act I, Scene VI - Page 1 of 6
ACT I, SCENE VI
FADE IN TO HOSPITAL ROOM SET
Bed, nightstand with lamp, big window, seating area, entry door, bathroom door.
Early morning. Older Minnie, an 83 year old woman with gray hair pulled up in rollers,
wearing a housecoat, is relaxing in bed reading. She is paralyzed on the left side, but
very alert mentally. There’s a straw hat on the nightstand. Birds are heard chirping.
Jaz, the private nurse, bursts into the room and turns on the overhead lights.
Jaz:
[loudly, excitedly] Miss Minnie, Miss Minnie. I hate to interrupt yo’ reading, but I gotta
get you dressed.
Minnie:
[looks surprised] What’s the rush? Henry’s not coming til later.
Jaz:
Oh, Miss Minnie. It’s gonna be an exciting day. Mr. Henry just called and told us Lady
Barbara of Essex is coming to visit you. The staff is happier than hogs in slop – me too!
We ain’t never met no royalty before. [pause] ‘cept for you. Do we have to curtsy?
[attempts to curtsy]
Minnie:
[laughs] Heavens no, chile. She’s just one of us. You’ll like her. Must be coming in for
the Steeplechase, it’s this week. She’s a great rider.
Jaz:
[excited] You met her riding?
Minnie:
God, no. I can’t ride. But, I can – make that did – play tennis pretty good. The girls and
I used to go to all the matches we could. We met up with Lady Barbara and the
Princess at Wimbledon.
Jaz:
[still excited] It was y’all’s turn to be happier than hogs in slop.
Minnie:
[chuckling] Oh, we were. I was even happier when Annie and I played a doubles match
with Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs. Just for fun, of course.

Jaz:
Who are they?
Minnie:
Big tennis stars.
Jaz:
Who won?
Minnie:
Don’t ask.
Jaz:
[laughs] The girls are coming, too!
Minnie:
Oh my. It’ll be like old times. [pauses] Better get on it right now. I look like anybody
but Minnie Pearl.
Jaz:
I gotcha back!
Minnie:
[laughs] I’m more worried about my front. Look at this housecoat. Makes me look like I
don’t have any boobies - and I spent a fortune for ‘em after that cancer thing. [grinning]
Wanna see ‘em?
Jaz:
[laughs] I think I have seen ‘em.
Minnie:
Yeah. [pauses] Can you believe Henry hepped me pick ‘em out? He secretly wanted
the Hee-Haw Honey size, but I opted for the oranges.
Jaz:
Good move! [holds up an outfit] This suit you for today?
Minnie:
Jaz, honey, you always pick the right thing.
Jaz pulls a screen around Minnie to dress her. From behind screen dialogue continues.
Minnie:
Ouch! [pause] Ouch! Damn it. Jaz, you know I’m tender headed.

Jaz:
Just a second. Miss Minnie, gotta get this cowlick.
Minnie:
[loudly] Cow? I look like a cow? You think I look fat?
Jaz:
Hold still. Almost got it. Heavens to Betsy. Miss Minnie, you don’t look fat. Besides, I
said cow LICK, not cow. You look like Minnie Pearl. You couldn’t look fat if yo’ life
depended on it.
Minnie:
OUCH! Yo’ life may depend on it if you don’t stop pulling my hair.
Jaz:
Be still. Almost done!
Minnie:
Better be worth all this.
Jaz:
Ohhh, it is!
Minnie:
OUCH!!!!
Jaz pulls back curtain to reveal Minnie, dressed in her favorite yellow jogging suit,
pearls on her neck, hair and makeup perfect. Jaz is doing last minute touch ups.
Jaz:
[nonchalantly] Ya’ know, Miss Minnie, there’s something I’ve always wondered.
Minnie:
What’s that?
Jaz:
Well, [pauses] I know yo name is Sarah Cannon. Sometimes the girls call you Ophie.
How in the world did you get to be Minnie Pearl?
Minnie:
It was a mistake.
Jaz:
Huh?

Minnie:
Hmmmm, let me think how to explain this to you. I gotta start when the girls and I
graduated from college.
Jaz continues busy work and pauses at parts of conversation.
Jaz:
Where’d y’all go to school?
Minnie:
Ward Belmont. Today it’s Belmont College and actually has fellas going there - back
then it didn’t.
Jaz:
[snickers] Bet y’all kept the boys at Vanderbilt busy.
Minnie:
[laughs] Especially Modine. Anyhow, my degree was in music, theater and dance.
Jaz:
Miss Minnie, you sho’ must’ve been real talented.
Minnie:
I thought so. I was positive I was gonna be the next Katharine Hepburn.
Jaz:
That sho’ ain’t Minnie Pearl.
Minnie:
No, but I was determined to follow my dream. My parents, of course, wanted me to
come home and open an actor’s studio. NOT ME. I’d be stuck there forever.
Jaz:
So, what’d you do?
Minnie:
I took a job with a production company that was gonna send me all over the south
putting on shows – different town every ten days. I figured I could hone my skills and be
a star in about six months.
Jaz:
Sounds like a plan to me!

Minnie:
Yes. But, I had yet to tell my folks.
Jaz:
How’d that go?
Minnie:
Let’s just say it didn’t go smoothly.
Jaz:
How come? How’d you do it?
Minnie:
They took the girls and me to dinner the night after graduation. Hot Dot, Annie and
Modine were off to Europe the next week. Mama and Papa thought I didn’t wanna go
with ‘em ‘cause I couldn’t wait to get home.
Jaz:
Was you nervous ‘bout tellin’ em?
Minnie:
A wreck! Especially when they presented all four of us with matching strings of pearls.
[long pause] Talk about guilt!
Jaz:
Those pearls the same ones you wear every day?
Minnie:
[touches her pearls] Yes, the very same.
Jaz:
Sounds like y’all was the belles of the ball.
Minnie:
We were, ‘til I told ‘em I wasn’t coming home. I thought Mama was gonna have a case
of the vapors. Papa had a coughing fit. To put it mildly, they were not pleased.
Jaz:
[wide eyed] Lawzy.
Minnie:
Then, I had to explain that I had a job and what it entailed. Mama declared loudly that
she didn’t send me to school to ride a bus all over the south.
Jaz:
So, what’d you say?

Minnie:
I told her that it was MY thing, and she oughta be relieved because at least I didn’t want
to be a flapper. [pauses] That’s when she told me I was most certainly NOT a flapper,
I was a Colley. [grins] Papa had to laugh at that.
Jaz:
So, you really did it? You didn’t go home at all?
Minnie:
No. My job started the next day.
Jaz:
And you went by yo’self? Just you?
Minnie:
Sho’ nuff. I was soooo excited.
Jaz:
[pensively] I think you might’ve started that woman’s lib thing.
Minnie:
[laughing] Yeah, but after about the fourth year I didn’t feel too liberated.
Jaz:
But, you still ain’t told me how you became Minnie Pearl.
Minnie:
It happened in a small town in Alabama.
Jaz pulls chair up to the bed.
FADE OUT TO SCENE VII

Act I, Scene VII - Page 1 of 5
ACT I, SCENE VII
FADE IN TO CENTER STAGE
Spotlight young Minnie, struggling with a suitcase, walking with her head down against
snow and wind, unable to see where she is going. She’s singing a song to herself,
barely audible over the howling wind.
SINGS MOURNFULLY (simple waltz)
I should’ve listened to Mama
Papa agreed with her too.
I should come home,
Not be all alone –
Wondering what I should do.
I’m blue [yodeling]
I’m blue
I’m blue [louder yodeling]
I’m blue
I was ready willing and able
To be the next star in the sky.
Someone would find me,
And take me to Broadway –
Now, I just stand here and cry.
I’m blue [yodeling]
I’m blue
I’m blue [louder yodeling]
I’m blue
She almost falls when she bumps into a door, which was hidden behind scrim. She
opens the door and is blown into a general store. There’s a checkout counter, shelves
in the background and a warm looking pot-belly stove. Uncle Nabob, Aunt Ambrosy,
Brother and three girl triplets are present and look stunned when she blows in.
Aunt Ambrosy:
Lordy, Chile’, where’d you come from? Come on in. You look pure froze.
Minnie:
[tries to smile] Oh, thank you, ma’am. That’s so kind.

Brother:
You Miss Colley, that show person we hear’d about?
Minnie:
[smiling now] Yes, that’s me!
Aunt Ambrosy:
I’m Ambrosy, but everybody calls me Aunt Ambrosy. [looks at Nabob] See thar’,
Nabob, I toll you she’d be here. [turns to Minnie, then looks toward Brother] That good
lookin’ boy is Brother, [points to Nabob] that’s Nabob, but we call him Uncle Nabob,
and them there’s [waves hand toward the girls] Mrs. Tuggle’s triplet girls named One,
Two and Three. Chile’, we’ve been rehearsing for you all week. Wanna see our act?
[pauses, looks pleadingly at Minnie] Wanna hear us?
Minnie nods weakly and leans against the counter. Aunt Ambrosy grabs a guitar, Uncle
Nabob finds a gut bucket and Brother picks up a fiddle.
Aunt Ambrosy:
[grinning, clears throat] Ahem, ahem. How Deee, I’m just so proud to be here. [counts
off 1, 2, 3, 4] Aunt Ambrosy and Uncle Nabob start picking and singing, to the tune of
Wildwood Flower
Aunt Ambrosy:
My name’s Aunt Ambrosy, and I wanna do yo’ show
Uncle Nabob:
My name’s Uncle Nabob, and I’m rarin’ to go. I will be Mack.
Aunt Ambrosy:
And I will be Beth. Brother plays the fiddle, he’s really the best.
Brother picks up fiddle and plays a hoe down. Triplets dance a clog, then begin to sing.
One, Two and Three:
[singing]
We’re the Tuggle triplets
One, Two and Three
We’re not hard to tell apart
I’m me – I’m me – I’m me.
We can clog and do-si-do
And when we’re through –
The crowd will stand and yell for more
They always do

Brother:
Y’all pick it up. 1, 2, 3, 4.
Band double times. Girls do clog one more time.
Minnie:
[claps gleefully] That was amazing.
Aunt Ambrosy:
We thought you’d like it!
Uncle Nabob:
Little ‘un, you need to get outta that big ol’ coat and stand over here by the stove. It’ll
sho’ nuff warm you up.
Brother:
[takes Minnie’s hand] Come on, I’ll hep you.
Minnie:
Thank you.
Brother helps Minnie take off her coat. She’s wearing a blouse with a string of pearls
around her neck and a wool skirt.
Brother:
You right, Uncle Nabob, she really is a little ‘un. [holds Minnie at arms’ length, grins ear
to ear] But, she sho’ is swell.
Aunt Ambrosy:
Yessir, Brother, she’s swell. And look at them pearls she’s wearin’ – ain’t they purty?
Brother:
[snaps his fingers and looks pleased with himself] Yessum. We oughta’ call her Lil’
Pearl.
Uncle Nabob:
[slaps his knee] Wait y’all, I got a better one.
Aunt Ambrosy:
[looks amused] What’s that?

Uncle Nabob:
‘Stead of Lil’ Pearl, we’ll call her Minnie Pearl, after our cousin Minnie. She’s little too,
but ain’t got no pearls. That means she’s just Minnie. [laughs and slaps his knee again]
Minnie:
[laughs out loud] That’s wonderful. I’d be proud to be Minnie Pearl.
Aunt Ambrosy:
That’s it then. Now, we gonna take you home with us for tonight - cabin’s r’at down the
road. Have to walk, tho.
Minnie:
That’s okay. I’ll get my coat back on.
Brother helps her with the coat. He’s obviously smitten.
Aunt Ambrosy:
You ain’t got no hat?
Minnie:
No, ma’am, I don’t wear hats.
Aunt Ambrosy:
[hands on hips] Well, you do now! It’s too cold not to have somethin’ on yo’ head.
[points to Nabob] Nabob, get me one of them purty hats behind the counter.
Nabob goes behind the counter and pulls out a straw hat decorated with flowers, with a
price tag dangling from the rim. He hands it to Ambrosy, who adjusts it on Minnie’s
head.
Minnie:
How do I look?
Uncle Nabob:
[laughs] Like Minnie Pearl.
Minnie:
[smiles] Y’all are too generous. How much do I owe you?
Aunt Ambrosy:
Chile’, don’t even think of it. It’s our gift to you!

Minnie:
But there’s a price tag!
Aunt Ambrosy:
[hands on hips, looks sternly at Nabob] Nabob!
Uncle Nabob:
Oh my goodness. [starts toward Minnie] Here Minnie, let me take it off.
Minnie:
[big grin] No, let’s leave it on. It’ll remind me to be humble.
Everybody laughs
Brother:
[offers Minnie his arm] You’re swell!
All begin to walk out of store
FADE OUT TO SCENE VIII

Act I, Scene VIII - Page 1 of 10
ACT I, SCENE VIII
FADE IN TO HOSPITAL SET
Jaz is leaned over from her chair with her hands cradling her chin, listening intently.
Jaz:
So, that was it?
Minnie:
Oh, no. I had the name, but I wanted Minnie Pearl to be her own person, like those
wonderful people I had met.
Jaz:
I got it! You sorta’ took them on as yo’ family, right?
Minnie:
No. Minnie Pearl took them on as her family.
Jaz:
Ohhhhh. Got it!
Minnie:
So, Minnie Pearl took over the shows and talked about her family. The good part about
that is people didn’t laugh at ‘em, they laughed with ‘em.
Jaz:
Still do.
Minnie:
Yes. I think people, back then and even now, love the uncluttered world of Minnie
Pearl’s mythical town of Grinders Switch and its families. Want me to share something
else with you, Jaz?
[Jaz nods violently, leans forward]
Minnie:
[grins, speaks LOUDLY] How Deeee
Jaz:
[claps and laughs] You still got it, Miss Minnie.

There’s a knock on the door. Jaz opens door and Lady Barbara arrives dressed in
riding habit. Blondish hair up in bun, looks very fit and stiffly British. Jaz’s mouth is
agape. Minnie looks up smiling.
Minnie:
Well, howdy, old girl.
Lady Barbara.
[rushes to Minnie’s bedside and grabs her good hand. [grins] Well, howdy back to you,
old girl. May I give you a hug?
Minnie:
You better. [they hug] How long has it been since we saw each other?
Lady Barbara:
I believe it was Wimbledon about 8 years ago. I still use that lob shot you taught me –
you called it the Pearl Drop. It’s a – what did you say - a good ‘un?
Minnie:
Yeah, it is. It always fooled Henry. [pauses] I suppose you’re here for the
Steeplechase.
Lady Barbara:
Yes, but I also came to see you [smiles slyly] AND to bring you a gift from the family.
Minnie:
[grins] Did you bring me the Prince?
Lady Barbara:
[laughs loudly] No, but he’s available. Don’t know if that’s fortunate or unfortunate!
Minnie:
Me either. Think I’ll keep Henry.
Lady Barbara:
[grins] He’s what I’d call a good ‘un.
Minnie:
[grins] And then some. [pauses] Okay - what’d you bring me?
Lady Barbara:
Just a sec. [moves to door and opens it, speaks into hall] We’re ready now.

Henry comes through the door pushing a cart with a huge bouquet of flowers with the
U.S. and British flags criss-crossing the arrangement. Beneath the flowers is a box
sealed with a crest.
Minnie:
[excited] That arrangement is fabulous. Jaz, where should we put it?
Jaz:
[still in shock, looks around room] Uh, uh…
Minnie:
I know! On the back wall, so I can get a full view.
Henry:
Perfect, honey.
Jaz:
[regains composure] Oh, yessuh, I’z about to say that.
Minnie:
Barbara, this lovely woman is my private nurse, Jaz. Jaz, this is Lady Barbara.
Lady Barbara sticks out her hand to Jaz, who shyly takes it and almost bows.
Jaz:
[sputtering] So nice to meet you, ma’am.
Lady Barbara:
And, you too, Jaz. And, thank you for taking such good care of Minnie.
Jaz backs away shyly and starts to arrange flowers.
Lady Barbara:
[looks to Minnie, amused] Ready for your present?
Minnie:
You mean that box on the bottom of the cart?
Lady Barbara:
Buggers! You weren’t supposed to see it yet.

Jaz:
[looks over her shoulder] She don’t miss nothin’.
Henry:
Yeah, tell me! Here, I’ll bring it to you. [retrieves box and places it on Minnie’s lap].
Henry, Jaz and Lady Barbara are standing around, waiting with anticipation.
Minnie:
[squints at tag] What’s this crest mean?
Lady Barbara:
It means it’s from the family.
Minnie:
ALL of them??
Lady Barbara,
Yes, madame.
Minnie:
Well, okay then. Can’t imagine what it is.
Henry:
Open it, honey.
Minnie:
Jaz, can you help me?
Jaz reaches over and takes lid off box, reaches in and pulls out a hat with a price tag
still attached which reads $500,000,000.
Jaz:
[studying the price tag] That’s sho’ nuff an expensive hat! Five hundred million dollars?
Lady Barbara:
[smiles, speaks to Minnie] Do you recognize it?
Minnie:
[laughs] How could I forget it? What a wonderful gift.

Jaz:
[flabbergasted] Wadda’ you mean? You knew about this?
Lady Barbara:
This is the hat Princess Di wore on the cover of People Magazine in the early 1980’s.
[reaches in her purse, pulls out magazine] Here’s a copy. [hands it to Jaz, who is
totally speechless]
Minnie:
Yeah. I wrote her a note and told her I had several similar hats I’d sell her for a mere
$50,000. Can’t imagine why I didn’t hear back. Doesn’t she want it anymore?
Lady Barbara:
Actually, she wanted you to have it. You’re aware she’s not living at the palace
anymore? When she found out I was gonna visit you, she asked me to give it to you
with her love. [pauses] And, you can see by the crest the family approved.
Jaz:
So, you DID hear back!
Minnie:
Looks like I certainly did!
Knock on the door.
Minnie:
Henry, darlin’, will you get it?
Henry opens door and Brenda Dee comes in.
Lady Barbara:
[face lights up] Howdy, Ms. Brenda. Henry told me you’d be here.
Jaz:
[hands on hips, glares at Henry] It’d be nice if he’d told me too! Hi, Miss Brenda.
Brenda:
[hugs everybody then sees hat] Oh, that hat. I’ve been dying to see it ever since I
heard you were bringing it. Jaz, put it on and model it.
Jaz:
[slips on hat] I don’t wear many hats. How’s it look?

Henry:
Expensive.
Everybody laughs
Minnie:
[still smiling] What brings you to my realm?
Brenda:
Why, you, of course - and to pick up Lady Barbara.
Jaz:
Why you pickin’ her up?
Brenda:
She’s agreed to sing a song in our Minnie Pearl Cancer Foundation show tonight, and
we gotta rehearse.
Lady Barbara:
[almost panicked] Yes. That’s really a must.
Minnie:
[to Lady Barbara] How’d they rook you into this?
Lady Barbara:
It’s for you. I’d do anything for you.
Jaz:
What’re you gonna sing?
Lady Barbara:
Oh, something horsey, of course. AND, they’re giving me what they refer to as a hillbilly
handle.
Minnie:
What’s that?
Lady Barbara:
Lady Ba Ba.
Minnie, Jaz and Henry:
[laugh and say together] Good ‘un.

Minnie:
Barbara Walters will be thrilled.
Jaz:
But she ain’t no singer.
Lady Barbara:
Neither am I – til now! Perhaps the name will catch on. I’ll be famous as Lady Ba-Ba.
Minnie:
[grins] You never know. [turns to Brenda] You gonna sing one of mine and Henry’s
favorite songs?
Brenda:
Of course.
Minnie:
[looks pitiful] Would you sing a little of it for me now?
Brenda:
[grins] I knew you were gonna ask [goes to door and calls into hall] Chet, ya’ll hit it.
Minnie:
[looks stunned] Chet Atkins?
Brenda:
Of course, and when he heard I was comin’ to see you, he asked if he could bring a
coupla’ more musician buddies along. [laughs] He had so many volunteers we had to
set ‘em up in the hall.
[OFF STAGE] band plays ‘You Gotta Love Me’.
Hear the summer wind a’blowin
I just wonder where it’s going
But, I know that I will follow you
Promisin’ my love forever
For I know that I will nevermore
Find another one like you
See the autumn leaves a’turning
Somewhere harvest fires are burning
Burning sure like my desire for you
Certainly there’ll come a day
When you look up at me and say
You need me just as much as I need you

Chorus:
You gotta love me
You gotta love me
Love me and that’s all I’ll ever ask for you to do
I promise you
Feel the winter snow a’fallin
As it hits the ground I’m calling
Telling all the world that I love you
How can I describe this feelin
When it sets my heart to reelin’
Every time I look up and it’s you
Springtime brings the sun and showers
Colorin’ the earth with flowers
Makes me know my love for you is true
Truer than the seasons come and go
That’s how my love will grow
I know because I know that I love you
Repeat Chorus
When the song ends, Henry has to leave the room.
Minnie:
As spectacular and poignant as ever, thank you!
Jaz:
[wiping tears] Okay, Lady Ba-Ba, what’re you gonna sing?
Lady Ba-Ba:
[smiling] Don’t suppose ‘God Save the Queen’ will cut it, huh?
Minnie:
[laughs] I’m not sure Her Majesty would “get it”. So, what are you gonna sing? Let’s
hear it!
Lady Ba-Ba:
[nervously sighs] Okay. Hope you’re ready for this.
Brenda [yells out the door]:
Y’all hit it, Chet.
Henry comes back into room as band intros ‘Ragtime Cowboy Joe’.

Lady Ba-Ba sings a VERY animated rendition. Jaz and Brenda join in on the chorus.
Out in Arizona where the bad men are,
And the only friend to guide you is an evening star,
The roughest, toughest man by far
Is Ragtime Cowboy Joe.
CHORUS
He always sings raggy music to his cattle
As he swings, back and forward in his saddle
On a horse, that is syncopated gaited,
And there's such a funny meter to the roar of his repeater.
See how they run, when they the feller's gun,
Because the folks all know:
He's a hifalootin', rootin', tootin', Son-of-a-gun from Arizona,
Ragtime Cowboy Joe.
Dresses every his Sunday clothes
Beats it for the village where he always goes,
And every girl in town all knows
He's Ragtime Cowboy Joe
CHORUS
He always sings raggy music to his cattle
As he swings back and forward in his saddle
On a horse that is syncopated gaited,
And with such a funny meter to the roar of his repeater.
See how they run when the hear that fellas gun
Because the western folks all know
He's a hifalootin', rootin' tootin', Son of a gun from Arizona
Ragtime cowboy Joe
[Modulate and repeat chorus, then tag]
Ragtime cowboy, talk about your cowboy, Ragtime Cowboy Joe

As Lady Ba-Ba finishes, everyone is clapping and laughing. The phone rings.
Jaz:
[breathless, answers phone] Hello. [listens] In how long? Okay, we’ll be here.
[hangs up phone] Girls will be here right after lunch. Gotta set up the bridge table.
Henry:
That’s my cue. Girls, let’s US go to lunch. [bows and extends hand toward door]
Brenda and Lady Barbara [each taking one of Henry’s arm]
[in unison] Ta ta.
Minnie:
[to Jaz] Perfect.
CURTAIN FALLS
INTERMISSION

ACT II, SCENE I - Page 1 of 3
ACT II, SCENE I
Curtain opens to up-tempo music and focuses on the hospital suite where Jaz and
Minnie are preparing for the girls visit. The phone rings and Jaz answers.
Jaz:
Hello. Oh, hi, Miss Annie. Say what? From where? Uh-huh. How late ya’ll gonna be?
Oh, that’ll be fine. Yessum, she’s very excited. See ya’ll soon. Bye now.
Minnie:
The girls?
Jaz:
Yessum, they’re running a little late. Miss Annie and Miss Hot Dot are at the airport
waiting on Miss Modine to deplane and clear customs.
Minnie:
[laughs] That girl gets around. Did they say where she’s been?
Jaz:
[looks puzzled] Someplace I never heard of – sounded sorta like Palomino, Spain.
[pauses] I thought palomino was a horse, but Miss Annie said she was watching bulls.
Minnie:
[laughs heartily] You think she might’ve said Pamplona?
Jaz:
[light goes on] YESSUM – that’s it! [looks confused] Pamplona’s a bull?
Minnie:
[still laughing] No. It’s a town where they run bulls.
Jaz:
[emphatically] Well, I NEVAH!
Minnie:
It’s an annual event. She’s been gone for months. Must’ve really liked those bulls.
Jaz:
[snickers] That sounds like Miss Modine. Hey, don’t she call her boyfriend the bull?
Minnie:
Oh, yes. The gardener, Juan Carlos - she shortened that to E.T.

Jaz:
E.T.?
Minnie:
Yeah, E.T., short for El Toro, which means the bull in Spanish.
Jaz:
Wonder if he went with her?
Minnie:
I’m sure he did.
Jaz:
Guess he wants to check out the competition.
Minnie:
[grins] That could be ONE reason. [turns pensive] I just LOVE those girls.
Jaz:
Y’all been friends since college, huh?
Minnie:
Yes, and it’s always such a treat to be with them. [glances at her nightstand and spies
a box of chocolate] See these chocolates?
Jaz:
Yessum, been eyeing ‘em.
Minnie:
They’re Modina chocolates!
Jaz:
They’re my favorite. [jerks head back toward Minnie] Wait a sec – MODINA? Miss
Minnie, did Miss Modine make them chocolates?
Minnie:
[grins] No. Hot Dot and Annie did. It’s their company. They just named ‘em after
Modine.
Jaz:
Miss Modine like chocolate that much?
Minnie:
Modine can’t stand chocolate!

Jaz:
Whaaat? She don’t like chocolate? I can’t believe it!
Minnie:
Oh, there’s a good reason.
Jaz:
[settles down in a chair] I’m all ears.
Minnie:
It started the day before we were graduating from college …
FADE TO SCENE II

ACT II, SCENE II - Page 1 of 5
ACT II, SCENE II
Open on a large dorm room with window, various photos, bed, desk with lamp,
Vanderbilt pennant, dresser, and chest of drawers with coffee pot and cups on top.
Girls enter and see large box on dresser. [Ophie is young Minnie]
Modine:
[gleefully claps hands] Oh, Ophie, looks like somebody sent you a present.
Ophie/Minnie:
[goes over to box, grins] It’s from Mama and Papa.
Hot Dot:
Well, hurry up! Open it!
Annie:
Bet it’s yo’ mama’s famous chocolates.
Modine:
[getting excited] And it’s a HUGE box.
Ophie/Minnie:
Wait – here’s a card. [opens card and looks up grinning] It says ‘for Ophelia and her
three sweet friends to enjoy the morning of their graduation. Congratulations and love!
Mama and Papa’.
Modine:
Ohhhhhhh, can we have some now??? Please, please, please.
Ophie/Minnie:
No! Let’s wait. It’ll be extra special in the morning.
Modine:
[huffily] Then I’m not staying any longer. I gotta get my beauty sleep. Tomorrow
morning Sigma Chi is giving me a farewell breakfast. I’m their sweetheart, don’t ‘cha
know?
Ophie/Minnie, Hot Dot and Annie [in unison]:
YES, we know.
Modine:
[grins] Just makin’ sure. [pauses] I’m off to beddie-bye now.

Ophie/Minnie:
Alright, sweet dreams. [pauses] Hey, don’t forget to come by and have some
chocolates with us. Be here at eight o’clock.
Modine:
Not to worry. I intend to get my share. [flounces out the door]
Annie [as soon as Modine leaves the room]:
[grins evilly] I have an idea.
Hot Dot:
Whut’s that?
Annie:
I’ll be right back.
Ophie/Minnie:
[to Hot Dot] What’s she doing?
Hot Dot:
I dunno, guess we’ll find out soon enough. Wait, I hear her coming back now.
Annie [bursts back into room]:
Found ‘em.
Ophie/Minnie:
Found what?
Annie holds up a box of Ex-Lax
Hot Dot:
You found Ex-Lax?
Annie nods
Ophie/Minnie:
[aghast] You’re NOT!!!
Annie:
[emphatically] Ohhhh, I am and WE ARE!!!
Hot Dot:
[giggles] She’ll kill us.
Annie:
She’ll have to catch us first. I don’t think she’ll be wanting to run – at least not after us!

Ophie/Minnie:
[looks worried] We’re not gonna tell her we did it are we?
Annie:
God no! NEVAH! She’ll probably just think she’s allergic to chocolate.
Hot Dot:
[excitedly] Let’s do it!
Ophie/Minnie:
[holds up a basket] Here, let’s put ‘em in this basket so we won’t eat the wrong ones.
We’ll just put ours on a tray.
Hot Dot:
Perfect.
The girls open the package and quickly fold the Ex-Lax into some chocolates and place
them into the basket. They arrange the “safe” ones on a tray. They place basket in
front of the tray.
Hot Dot:
We’re set! Don’t forget ours are on the tray.
Ophie/Minnie:
I’m sure we’ll remember that for the rest of our lives. [pauses] I’ll have the coffee
ready. See y’all at eight.
Hot Dot:
And sweet dreams to us all.
Hot Dot and Annie leave arm and arm. As they exit, Annie and Hot Dot hum ‘Boola,
Boola’.
SCENE FADES TO BLACK for very short time, then FADES back in again. To
signify the next morning, sunlight comes through dorm window.
Ophie/Minnie is arranging coffee cups when Hot Dot and Annie arrive.
Annie:
[gleefully] Any sign of Modine?

Ophie/Minnie:
Not yet.
At that moment Modine rushes into room.
Modine:
[breathlessly] Over slept! Do I look okay? Just gimme my chocolates!
Ophie/Minnie:
[nods to basket of ‘doctored’ chocolates] They’re all ready for you. Take a couple of
‘em.
Modine:
Just a couple? I want the whole basket. I gotta share ‘em with my boys so they’ll
remember me as being their sweetest sweetheart evah!
Modine grabs the basket and heads for the door where she bumps into the
housemother, who is entering at the same time.
Housemother:
Good mawning, girls, I’m glad I found y’all all together. [pauses] Ophie, yo papa just
called and asked me to remind y’all about dinner with them at the club tonight. [pauses
as she sees the basket of chocolates Modine is holding] Ohhh, my, [looks at
Ophie/Minnie] Yo mama’s famous chocolates?
Modine:
Oh, yes, ma’am, they are. Please have some.
Ophie/Minnie:
[loudly] MODINE!
Modine:
Don’t worry, Ophie [pauses] there’s still plenty here for me – and the boys. [extends
basket to Housemother]
Housemother smiles and takes a chocolate.
Modine:
Please, take two.
Housemother:
Don’t mind if I do!

Modine:
[racing out the door] See y’all later.
Housemother:
[still chewing] These are the best chocolates I evah tasted. See y’all at graduation.
[leaves the room]
Hot Dot, Annie and Ophie/Minnie look at each other in horror.
Ophie/Minnie:
[panic stricken] WHAT’RE we gonna do?
Annie:
I suggest we keep our mouths shut.
Hot Dot:
I agree.
Ophie/Minnie:
Me too!
FADE TO SCENE III

ACT II, SCENE III - Page 1 of 5
ACT II, SCENE III
Open back on hospital set
Jaz:
[mesmerized] So, what happened?
Minnie:
The graduation ceremony was very interesting. When they called Modine’s name she
literally galloped up to get her diploma, and galloped off the stage with the housemother
right behind her.
Jaz:
[snickering] What’d y’all do?
Minnie:
We tried to remain stoic. Believe me, it wasn’t easy. That’s when I was convinced I
was a fabulous actor.
Jaz:
What about the frat boys?
Minnie:
Let’s just say they looked for Modine all summer. Fortunately, she was in Europe.
Jaz:
Is that when Hot Dot and Annie decided to go into the chocolate business?
Minnie:
As a matter of fact, yes. They’ve been inseparable ever since. Isn’t that wonderful?
Jaz:
Yessum, it is.
Minnie:
They gave Modine royalties to use her name. They’ve made a fortune!
Jaz:
[laughing] I’d say she earned it! What’d you get?
Minnie:
[laughs] All the chocolates I can eat! [long pause] Let’s not put up the bridge table. I’d
rather just visit with the girls. Ohhhh [grins and points to chocolates] Have a
chocolate!

Jaz:
[looks alarmed] No ma’am, I don’t think so.
Minnie:
Oh, come on, they’re safe. [bites into a chocolate]
Jaz:
[eats one chocolate, then another] You sure you don’t wanna play bridge?
Minnie:
No. We haven’t had a chance to all be together for a few months. And Modine will be
dying to tell us about the bulls. We need to catch up. We can play bridge any time.
Jaz:
I see yo point.
Minnie:
Speaking of bridge, did I ever tell you ‘bout the bridge game that cost me a thousand
dollars?
Jaz:
NO! You must’ve served some seriously expensive snacks.
Minnie:
Oh, no. It was a door prize which I was SURE I would win.
Jaz:
Do’ prize?
Minnie:
Yes. We used to play once a month alternating houses, and the host would give a prize
for whatever contest she held. For example, things like floral arrangements, desserts,
you know - easy things like that.
Jaz:
Uh-huh! So, you decided you’d come up with a good ‘un?
Minnie:
Oh, yes. I told ‘em to wear a hat and costume that someone they wanted to emulate
would wear and I’d give a thousand dollars to the best hat and costume.
Jaz:
So, you were gonna wear yo’ famous hat and costume?

Minnie:
[smirks] Oh, noooo. I’m sure that’s what they thought, too. This time I’d surprise ‘em
and win my own thousand dollars which, of course, I’d donate to the Humane Society.
Jaz:
So what kinda’ hat was you gonna wear?
Minnie:
I had ALWAYS wanted to be a great dancer, like Carmen Miranda.
Jaz:
Who that?
Minnie:
A dancer who was as well known for her hats as she was for her dancing.
Jaz:
So y’all had something in common?
Minnie:
[laughs] Hmmm, I never thought about it like that! You have a good point. However,
her hat wasn’t famous for having a price tag.
Jaz:
What’s hers’ famous for?
Minnie:
Fruit.
Jaz:
FRUIT? Like, fruit?
Minnie:
Yep. It was made outta fruit and I was gonna wear a Carmen Miranda hat. That
thousand dollars was mine!
Jaz:
Where’d you find a hat and costume like that?
Minnie:
I didn’t, I had to make it. That’s where Mary Cannon came in. You remember her, my
house manager?
Jaz:
Course I do. She hep you make it?

Minnie:
Oh, yes. It was a masterpiece. Wasn’t sure I could keep that hat on, but Mary told me
not to worry, it weighed so much that once she wedged it on me it wouldn’t move.
Jaz:
Was she right?
Minnie:
[grinning] Weighed twelve pounds, and it was wedged! At that point, I told Mary about
the thousand dollar prize. Her eyes lit up. She then announced to me that she wanted
to be in the contest. [pauses] I couldn’t say no. Besides, I was sure my hat and
costume would win.
Jaz:
So what kinda hat and costume was Mary gonna wear?
Minnie:
I couldn’t believe it. She wanted to be the Queen of Egypt, complete with the double
crown that the pharaohs wore. I almost choked.
Jaz:
Looks like she one-upped you.
Minnie:
Yeah. But, I figured she wouldn’t go through with it when I told her she’d have to wear a
beard.
Jaz:
A BEARD?
Minnie:
Of course. Back then all the kings and queens of Egypt wore beards when they had on
their crowns. It’s documented in history.
Jaz:
So what’d she say?
Minnie:
Exactly what I expected – that she couldn’t grow a beard. I knew I had her.
Jaz:
You one-upped her back, huh?
Minnie:
Hell, no. She told me she’d glue one on. I gave up, and in. Besides, by now I wanted
to see this contraption. The day of the bridge game arrived …..

FADE TO SCENE IV

Act II, Scene IV - Page 1 of 5
ACT II, SCENE IV
Open on parlor/bridge table set. Front door and porch jutting out on stage left. Room is
very nicely decorated with fine furnishings and bridge table. Back door is visible and
accessible.
Minnie, in Carmen Miranda costume, is sitting at the bridge table. Mary Cannon is
offstage.
Minnie:
[loudly] Better hurry, Mary, the girls will be here any second.
OFFSTAGE
Mary:
I’m hurrying, Miss Minnie. Gotta get this beard jes’ right.
Door bell rings.
OFFSTAGE
Mary:
[loudly] Not quite ready, Miss Minnie. You mind gettin’ it?
Minnie:
Course not!
Minnie goes through foyer and opens front door. The girls are there and all three are
wearing Minnie Pearl hats and costumes.
Minnie:
[claps her hands gleefully] Well, howdy, y’all.
Girls giggle.
Modine:
You certainly out did yo’self. That’s a fabulous costume, especially the hat.
Annie:
Yeah, I have to admit, you got us. Carmen Miranda, huh?
Minnie attempts to bow

Hot Dot:
It’s worth losing a thousand bucks to see you in that garb.
Girls enter, all hug.
Minnie:
Okay, girls, this is our entrance. I’ll demonstrate. Listen to this and repeat after me.
[chants to Brazilian beat]
Boom chica chica chica
Sis Boom Bah
Girls and Minnie [together]:
Sis Boom Bah
Minnie:
Great! Now, watch these moves.
Minnie demonstrates dance moves while she chants.
Sis Boom Bah
Girls copy her moves and repeat the chant.
Minnie:
Now, let’s move with it!
With Minnie in lead, girls fall in line behind her in a conga line. They dance and chant
their way across the room heading toward the bridge table.
Sis Boom Bah
Sis Boom Bah
Their conga line arrives at bridge table. Before they sit, Minnie sings a Spanish flavored
melody.

Minnie:
And when I sing
I’m so delicious
Because my hat
Is so nutricious
Girls: [in unison]
And when she sings
She’s so delicious
Because her hat
Is so nutritious
Minnie and girls:
Hot hot hot
Bridge we got
Girls take their seats at bridge table, giggling.
Modine:
Where’s Mary?
OFFSTAGE
Mary:
I’z coming.
Mary enters from back door looking like Cleopatra, wearing the double crown of the
pharaohs and sporting a fabulous Egyptian styled beard.
Minnie, Hot Dot, Annie and Modine:
[in unison, applauding at same time] OH, MY GOD.
Mary:
Thank y’all. I’d bow but my crown might come off.
Modine:
How ‘bout yo’ beard?
Mary:
Ohhhh, it’s not going ANYWHERE. I used Super Glue.

Annie:
[to Minnie] There goes your thousand bucks.
Minnie:
[still laughing] It’s worth EVERY dime. Mary, you’re wonderful.
Mary:
Thank you! I’ll be back in a sec, gotta get y’all’s snacks. [exits room]
Minnie:
Let’s play, girls.
Girls all say YES and watch Minnie begin to deal cards. A dog can be heard barking
offstage.
Minnie:
Henry’s walking Joker again. That dog is his favorite of all time. But, he’s loud.
Hot Dot:
Yeah, we can tell.
Offstage
We hear the sounds of gravel being crushed and air brakes from a bus.
Minnie:
What the hell is that?
Modine:
Oh, nothing Henry and Joker can’t handle.
Minnie:
[still dealing cards] Yeah, right.
OFFSTAGE
Baying gets louder.
Henry [yells loudly] “Calm down son, these are friends”.
Baying stops.
Henry [charmingly] “How y’all doing? Y’all wanna come on in for something cold to
drink.”
Minnie:
[looks up in a panic] WHAT DID HE JUST SAY???

Mary reenters room with snack plate which she puts on the credenza.
Mary:
What’s that racket? Joker find a squirrel?
Annie looks toward foyer, then they all turn their heads slowly to follow her gaze.
OFFSTAGE
Henry opens door and we hear a bus load of tourists enter the foyer.
We hear giggles and crowd noise.
Henry[ realizing the girls are inside] “Y’all hold up a sec.”
Crowd noise quietens and we hear conversations.
Male voice: She’s got a beard.
Female voice: There’s three Minnie Pearls.
Female voice: Wonder which one’s the real one?
Male voice: She ain’t here. Bet those are imposters, but, look it that beard - mine ain’t
that impressive!
Female voice: Shut up, Bubba.
Mary:
[stroking her beard, turns toward foyer to address Henry and the crowd] Mr. Henry, the
pool house has lots of cold drinks.
OFFSTAGE:
Henry: “On my way. Follow me folks.”
We hear footsteps as crowd exits.
Female voice: That was exciting.
Male voice: That beard was REALLY exciting.
Female voice: Shut up, Bubba.
House is silent.
Minnie:
I’m gonna kill ‘em.
FADE TO SCENE V, HOSPITAL SET

ACT II, SCENE V - Page 1 of 1
ACT II, SCENE V
Fade to hospital set.
Minnie is alone in room, having a conversation with Jaz who is offstage.
Jaz voiceover:
I’ll be there in a sec – jes finishing up the snacks. By the way, did that REALLY
happen?
Minnie:
Oh, yeah, and to add insult to injury, Mary got a check for a thousand dollars.
Jaz voiceover:
[laughing] Well, at least you didn’t kill Mr. Henry.
Minnie:
No. But, if I had killed him that night, I can assure you that the next morning I would
have dug him up and killed him again.
Jaz voiceover:
[still laughing] You mean something else happened?
Minnie:
But, of course! Henry had gotten up early and gone downstairs to have coffee and walk
Joker ….
FADE TO SCENE VI

Act II, Scene VI - Page 1 of 4
ACT II, SCENE VI
Open on parlor set.
Henry:
Joker! Joker, come on, son, time to go outside.
We hear a beagle baying outside.
Henry:
[shrugs] Oh, Mary must’ve let you out already.
Henry goes to credenza, pours coffee for himself and sips it while humming ‘Wild Blue
Yonder’. Mary enters from side wing carrying fruit from Minnie’s hat, still sporting a
beard.
Mary:
That hat had some mighty fine fruit on it. Want some?
Henry:
[grins, grabs a banana] Thanks, Mary, and WHY in tarnation are you still wearing that
get up?
Mary:
[munching fruit speaks proudly] Ms. Minnie has a photographer coming to make my
picture.
Henry:
[big grin] That’s a great idea. We’ll hang it in the hallway.
Mary:
[claps] That would be wonderful.
We hear a truck pull up outside and more baying.
Henry:
What the devil is that at this hour of the morning?

Mary:
Oh, it’s a delivery from the Poultry Association. Minnie’s gonna appear at their
convention next week. Truck driver called and said they’re bringing a present for her.
Henry:
Hmmmph … wonder why they need a truck
Mary:
I figure its frozen chicken pot pies. Driver said his load needed to get outta the heat.
Henry:
Must be a bunch of ‘em. Sounds like a big truck.
Truck engine goes silent and truck door slams.
Mary:
I told him to just unload ‘em on the patio and I’d take it from there.
Henry:
Good idea. I’ll hep.
We hear Joker let out his loudest bay and a rooster crow. Henry and Mary look at each
other in horror. Joker is going nuts and chickens are cackling, but the rooster is the
loudest of all.
Henry:
Holy shit, its live chickens.
Mary:
And a rooster.
Dog, chickens and rooster commotion can still be heard.
Henry:
What’re we gonna do? They’re gonna wake Minnie.
Mary:
They gonna wake the dead – INCLUDING the gov’nor next door.

Henry:
[yelling] How can we shut ‘em up?
Mary:
[shouting] Feed ‘em.
Henry:
[still yelling] What do we feed ‘em?
Mary:
[still shouting] CORN!
Henry:
[yelling louder] Do we have any corn?
Mary:
[screaming] Cans of it.
Henry:
[shouting frantically] Hurry! Get some, PLEASE.
Mary goes offstage and comes back with a can of corn. Henry grabs it from her, opens
it and heads out the back door.
Henry [voiceover from offstage]:
Here, chicky, chicky. Here, chicky, chicky.
Rooster crows [offstage].
Mary:
[watching from back door, SCREAMS] MR. HENRY – DON’T OPEN THAT CRATE!!!
[Offstage] Sounds of chickens running, rooster crowing and Joker in full throat.
Henry [voiceover]:
[panicked] I’ll catch ‘em. Here, chicky, chicky. Here, chicky, chicky.
Offstage sounds fade as Joker, Henry and chickens round the house.
Minnie appears in her housecoat with hair in rollers.

Minnie:
WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IS ALL THAT RACKET? I’m sure I heard a rooster and
chickens.
Mary:
Yes’sum, you did.
Minnie:
How’d they get here? [pauses, then holds up hand to stop Mary] WAIT! Never mind.
[long pause, listening] Do I STILL hear ‘em?
Mary:
Yes’sum, they’re round front now. Mr. Henry’s chasing ‘em.
Minnie:
Sweet, Jesus. PLEASE tell me that gate to the governor’s yard is closed.
Minnie and Mary race out the front door to the porch.
FADE OUT QUICKLY TO SCENE VII

Act II, Scene VII - Page 1 of 3
ACT II, SCENE VII
Quick scene change to front porch area complete with lush plants and yard
furniture.
Minnie and Mary are standing on front porch listening to the fray. We hear commotion
of chickens, rooster, Joker and Henry from the governor’s yard next door.
Henry [offstage voiceover]:
Here, chicky, chicky - here, chicky, chicky [repeats over and over]
Offstage Joker is baying constantly, rooster is crowing non-stop.
Mary:
What’re we gonna do?
Minnie:
Besides kill Henry and that dog?
Mary:
That won’t hep.
Minnie:
I realize that, but it might make me feel better. [pauses] I know! Let’s call the humane
society.
Mary:
Good idea – I’ll get the phone.
Outside noise continues as Mary exits then returns with inside phone on long cord.
Minnie:
[completes dialing] Humane society? Good. This is Minnie Pearl and I have some
loose chickens I’d like to report. [interrupted by person on phone] Beg pardon? YES, I
really am Minnie Pearl. YES, chickens. No, WAIT – don’t hang up! [thinks intently then
snaps fingers] How-Deee. [pauses] Oh, good. Nice speaking with you too. Now,
about the loose chickens in the governor’s yard [listens] GOOD – THANK YOU!
Mary:
They’re coming?

Minnie:
[smugly] On their way.
Offstage we hear a helicopter.
Mary:
[looks up, squinting] It’s the WSM traffic copter - must be headed back to the studio.
Oh, look! It’s circling.
Minnie:
[pleadingly] Dear God, help me!
Mary:
[excitedly] He’s coming back around and they’s a cameraman hanging out the door.
Minnie:
Tell me this isn’t happening!
Telephone rings.
Mary:
[grabs phone] Hello. Oh, okay. Miss Minnie, its Miss Modine.
Minnie:
Not now, dammit.
Mary:
She says it’s urgent!
Minnie:
It better be. [snatches phone] Hello. What? OH SHIT. Yes, right now. Thanks.
[slams down phone] Mary, get inside, QUICK.
Mary:
Why me?
Minnie:
Modine says they’re streaming live on WSM and announcing that apparently King Tut is
standing on my front porch IN DRAG. They have a close up of you to prove it.
Mary:
Oh, shit. [covers mouth with hand] Oh, excuse me, Miss Minnie.

Minnie:
Think nothing of it! I was thinking something much worse!
Mary:
I’m outta here.
Minnie:
[yells as Mary exits] At least they didn’t recognize me.
Mary [offstage voiceover]:
Bet me!
Minnie:
[looks toward governor’s yard] HENRY? Where’s Joker?
Henry comes to porch covered in feathers.
Henry:
Having coffee and donuts with the governor.
Minnie:
How nice. Did y’all have a fun time?
Henry:
Yeah, just delightful. At least I talked the governor outta giving us a citation for having
farm animals in the city limits, and Joker is thrilled about the donuts.
Minnie:
[tongue in cheek] How brave of you both!
Henry bows.
Minnie:
[trying not to grin] Now – go write a generous check to the humane society. You owe
them a BIG ONE!
Henry:
It’ll be VERY GENEROUS!
FADE BACK TO HOSPITAL SCENE, SCENE VIII

Act II, Scene VIII - Page 1 of 10
ACT II, SCENE VIII
Fade back to hospital set.
Jaz is bent double laughing. Minnie, laughing hysterically is wiping tears from her eyes.
Jaz:
[tries to compose herself] The girls oughta’ be here any minute.
Minnie:
Yes, and you need to go early so you can dress for the show tonight. Henry told me
he’s invited you to sit with him. I’m fine. You go on!
Knock on door.
Jaz:
Right on cue. I’ve had the most fun day ever. Thank you.
Minnie:
No, thank you! You are truly wonderful. Now, scoot and let those girls in. [pauses]
Wait a sec. Give me a hug ‘fore you go.
Jaz goes to Minnie and gives her a huge hug. She pulls away and goes to door,
dabbing her eyes as she opens it for the girls.
Girls bound in, perky as ever. All are graying except Modine whose hair color never
changes.
Minnie:
Howdy, y’all.
Girls race to hug Minnie.
Minnie:
Y’all grab a chair.
Girls sit, all look at each other and grin.

Minnie:
[settles down, grins] I wanna hear ‘bout Modine’s Spanish adventure and why she’s
been gone for so long.
Annie and Hot Dot:
[in unison] SO DO WE!
Modine:
[puffs up proudly] The first answer is easy.
Minnie:
How’s that?
Modine:
E.T. and I got to Spain and everything was hunky-dory. We watched the bulls run and
we met a Spanish Grandee who was smitten with me.
Annie:
Bet that frosted E.T.
Modine:
Oh, noooo. That guy was much older than E.T.
Hot Dot:
My, God, E.T.’s eighty. How could he have been much older?
Modine:
[sighs] Oh, he was ‘bout ninety-five.
Minnie:
NINETY-FIVE? How old did he think you were?
Modine:
He thought I was forty-eight.
Annie:
Forty-eight? How in the world could he possibly think you’re forty-eight?
Modine:
[smugly] Oh, I just told him my age was close to my bust measurement. [sticks out her
chest] Forty-eight and proud.
Hot Dot:
Unbelievable.

Modine:
[looks hurt] NOT!
Minnie:
Not yo’ bust measurement, yo’ age. FORTY-EIGHT?
Modine:
[sheepishly] Actually, his eyesight wasn’t the best.
Girls laugh.
Minnie:
That still doesn’t explain why you’ve been gone so long.
Modine:
I’m getting there. [pauses] That first night when we got there E.T. couldn’t [short
pause, clears throat] ‘perform’ in his usual manner.
Annie:
Must’ve been the jet lag, huh?
Modine:
Hell, no! After a good night’s sleep he had the same problem the next morning.
Hot Dot:
[tongue in cheek] Horror of horrors.
Modine:
Well, it was pretty frustrating. I insisted he be checked out IMMEDIATELY.
Minnie:
So, you took him to a doctor?
Modine:
[dreamily] Yes, to a wonderful, most handsome Spanish doctor. He was about forty. I
could barely keep my eyes off him.
Minnie:
I’ll bet.
Hot Dot:
Did he find out what was wrong?

Modine:
Oh, yes! Some kind of dysfunction, they called E.D.
Annie:
[looks worried] What the hell is that?
Modine:
The beautiful Spanish doctor said it meant ‘extremadamente caidos’!
Annie:
That means EXTREMELY DROOPY !!
Modine:
You don’t have to tell me!
Hot Dot:
My Gawd, you must’ve been devastated.
Modine:
Completely! It could have been the worst thing that ever happened in my life, but fate
intervened. The Spanish researchers, bless their lil hearts, were running clinical trials
on a new drug to fix it.
Annie:
Really? What is it?
Modine:
Something that sounds like Figaro, but it started with a V. WAIT! [snaps fingers] Got it,
it’s Vigaro. [looks smug] They told E.T. he was a perfect candidate.
Minnie:
Vigaro, huh? So, he signed up?
Modine:
Of course! It was either that or I was gonna locate the Grandee.
Hot Dot:
Did it work?
Modine:
[grins broadly] Beautifully, but we had to stay in Spain for a few more months until the
trial period was over.
Annie:
So, that’s why you’ve been gone so long?

Modine:
Yes! I gotta tell you, it’s been seven of the best months of my life.
Minnie:
[grins sarcastically] It almost took you that long to get through customs when you got
here. What happened?
Modine:
They thought we were drug dealers.
All girls:
[in unison] WHAT?
Modine:
Vigaro is not available over here yet, and [pauses, raises her eyebrows] TRUST me, I
wasn’t gonna let E.T. do without it. No, sirree!
Hot Dot:
So you smuggled some back with you?
Modine:
But, of course.
Minnie:
How much did you smuggle?
Modine:
‘Bout five years worth.
Annie:
And how many pills is that?
Modine:
Only fifteen hundred. They’re just the cutest little diamond shaped blue pills!
Minnie:
Customs didn’t think they were so cute, huh?
Modine:
NO! They wanted to confiscate ‘em. E.T. just started sobbing hysterically right then
and there. [pauses] Actually, I was tearing up myself.
Hot Dot:
So, what’d you do?

Modine:
I gave them the phone number for the clinic in Spain. I told them they would explain
everything.
Annie:
And they actually called?
Modine:
It was the only way they could stop E.T. from bawling. He was totally out of control.
Minnie:
Oh, I see. So, the phone call did it?
Modine:
MUST’VE, they all got in a huddle to discuss the situation. When they broke outta the
huddle they came over to E.T., shook his hand and slapped him on the back for at least
two minutes. He stopped whimpering and was his old self again.
Minnie:
So everybody’s happy?
Modine:
Everybody – especially the guards. E.T. gave them a few pills.
Girls all laugh.
Modine:
Hey! I have a new song for us.
Minnie:
Well, let’s hear it!
Vigaro Song (light Spanish lilt)
Modine: If your favorite honey
Doesn’t want to be your bunny,
Get Vigaro
Girls: Vigaro
Modine: If you’re feeling frisky
But your fella says it’s risky,
Get Vigaro
Girls: Vigaro

CHORUS:
Modine: Vigaro
Girls: Oh oh oh oh
Modine: Vigaro
Girls: Oh oh oh oh
Modine: You won’t need Spanish fly
I can tell you why,
There’s Vigaro
Girls: Vigaro
Modine: When he’s revving up his mojo
He never will say no no,
With Vigaro
Girls: Vigaro
REPEAT CHORUS
Modine: It’s just a little pill
That will give you such a thrill,
Vigaro
Girls: Vigaro
Modine: You’ll give up your possessions
For that little pill from Heaven,
Vigaro
Girls: Vigaro
REPEAT CHORUS:
ALL chant: Clap your hands and stomp your feet
Vigaro just can’t be beat
V – I – G – A – R – O
Modine: Vigarooooooooo
All (in harmony):
Vigaro – Vigaro – Vigaro
All yell: OLE’!

Minnie:
Congratulations. A celebration is in order. Have a chocolate!
Modine:
You know I’m allergic. [pauses] Nah, it’s been sixty years – gimmee one!
All the girls grab a chocolate.
Minnie:
[looks at her watch] Oh, dear. Y’all gotta scoot to get ready for the show tonight. I’m
so happy y’all are going.
Hot Dot:
Are you kidding? For over sixty years we’ve always been there for each other. COUNT
ON IT!
Minnie:
Have I told y’all I love you?
Modine:
In every way possible!
Girls join hands and go to Minnie. They grab her good hand to form a circle.
Minnie:
[looks at each one of them, lingers on each face] For forever.
All girls:
For forever.
Girls go to exit door, turn and wave as they leave.
There’s a crack of thunder.
Minnie sits alone, wiping her eyes with a tissue. She hears footsteps approaching.
Henry eases door open and steps inside. He is dressed in black tuxedo, LOOKS
GREAT!
Minnie:
[eyes Henry as he comes in the door] Well, ain’t you something?

Henry:
[grins] You still think so, huh?
Minnie:
[smiles] I’ll always think so. You’ll be the most handsome man at the benefit!
Henry:
[feigns modesty] Well, I just had to get my goodnight kiss from you before I dazzle all
the girls.
Minnie:
[grins shyly] Well, come on over.
Henry:
[at bedside, bends down and gives Minnie a kiss]
Minnie:
[looks up into his face] Henry?
Henry:
Yes, ma’am?
Minnie:
Are you SURE you still love me as much as you did before I became so old and worn
out?
Henry:
Remember that poem I wrote you years ago? I even turned it into a song. Don’t you
remember the words?
Minnie:
[pensively] Yes, I remember. [pause] You used to sing it for me all the time.
Henry:
[grins] I thought you got tired of hearing it.
Minnie:
Never! [long pause]
Henry:
[knowing what’s coming, looks horrified and blurts out] But, I could sing back then!
Minnie:
Please, Henry!

Henry:
I DO remember it, as if it was last week.
Minnie:
So do I
Henry sits on Minnie’s bedside and takes her hand. Soft underscoring. The melody to
My Best Friend continues until Henry sings.
FADE OUT TO SCENE IX

Act II, Scene IX - Page 1 of 1
ACT II, SCENE IX
Open to young Henry and young Minnie, holding hands and looking at each
other.
Young Henry sings:
You’re the music in the morning when I wake up,
You’re the love I feel in my heart
You are the sunlight on the water in the ocean
You’re a flower that still grows when we’re apart.
You’re the shadow of the mountain when you comfort
And surround me
With a love I know just won’t end
You’re a star up in the Heavens
You’re my world and will forever be.
My love, my life – you’re my best friend.
Time doesn’t matter
I’ll love you tomorrow and yesterday
Just like today
There is a window which I look out and I know – you are there
There to walk beside me in the twilight of the evening
The wind whispers to me that you care
I’ve been so many places, and I can’t recall the faces
That have smiled and said what might have been
Now all that has ended
And I’ve found what will forever be.
My love, my life - you’re my Best Friend.
Minnie and Henry sing together:
Darlin’, time doesn’t matter
I’ll love you tomorrow and yesterday
Just like today
FADE BACK TO HOSPITAL SET, SCENE X

ACT II, SCENE X - Page 1 of 3
ACT II, SCENE X
Fade back to hospital set.
Henry is holding Minnie in his arms. He slowly releases her back onto the pillow. He
looks at her a long time as she looks at him. Without saying another word, he quietly
leaves the room.
Thunder cracks again.
Minnie dozes off.
Louder crack of thunder.
Minnie is startled awake.
Minnie Pearl is standing at the foot of her bed.
Minnie:
Where’ve you been?
Minnie Pearl:
[grins] Why, right here, of course. How-Deee to you too!
Minnie:
Impossible! I would’ve seen you. I thought you forgot me.
Minnie Pearl:
Now, that’s impossible! Don’t you know I’m always here? I jes want you to know how
wonderful it’s been - ESPECIALLY today.
Minnie:
I couldn’t agree more.
Minnie Pearl:
Yes. This was one of our best days ever.
Minnie:
I was here too, remember?
Minnie Pearl:
Oh, yeah, right!

Minnie:
Since you’re here, I need to tell you something.
Minnie Pearl:
What?
Minnie:
I’m not sure you’ll understand.
Minnie Pearl:
[tapping her foot] WHAT?
Minnie:
I’m afraid.
Minnie Pearl:
Afraid? YOU? Of what? [long pause] Ohhhh, dying?
Minnie:
Heavens, no, I know we all have to die. I’m just afraid YOU’LL be forgotten if I’m gone.
Minnie Pearl:
Ohhhh. No I won’t.
Minnie:
And just how can you be so sure?
Minnie Pearl:
Take a good look at me. Wadda ya’ see?
Minnie:
[grins] Minnie Pearl?
Minnie Pearl:
Right! And I’m not going anywhere. You might say I’m like the faces on Mount
Rushmore.
Minnie:
[laughs] God, I hope not.
Minnie Pearl:
[grins back] Okay, that was a stretch. But, my point is that I’ll be here forever, or at
least as long as there’s women in comedy.
Minnie:
Hmmmm, never thought of it like that. That oughta be a long time, huh?

Minnie Pearl:
Yessum, longer than either of us can imagine.
Minnie:
[smirks] Sounds good to me!
Minnie Pearl:
Me too! Hey, didn’t mean to disturb yo’ beauty sleep.
Minnie:
Oh, you didn’t. In fact, I think you just made it a lot easier to rest. If you’ll excuse me, I
think I will take a little nap now.
Minnie Pearl:
That’s okay, you sleep as long as you want to. I’ll always be here for you!
Minnie Pearl fades from view.
It’s raining.
Minnie, head on pillow, is silhouetted by the lightning. She’s sleeping.
There’s a HUGE clap of thunder and more lightning.
STAGE GOES BLACK.
Music, “She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain, starts faintly then becomes pronounced.
Spotlight hits Minnie Pearl – follows her to center stage.
Minnie:
[holds out her arms] How-Deee!
Audience responds:
How-Deee!
Minnie:
I’m jes so proud to be here.
Music comes up. Cast joins Minnie. They all sing one verse of ‘Coming Round
the Mountain’. Band continues to play as cast takes bows.

JUDY BRYTE
Playwright
Judy was raised in Columbus, Georgia by her two aunts and grandmother. Her
mother was a newspaper editor who traveled extensively.
She became an avid equestrian, vocalist and musician. As the only child she
was slightly spoiled and doted upon by the entire family.
After graduating high school, she (and two of her horses) attended Huntingdon
College in Montgomery, Alabama. She transferred to Auburn University (minus the
horses) and became engrossed in folk music. Judy and two of her classmates formed a
group called The Village Travelers and had much fun and success performing at frat
parties. She was inducted into the Zeta Tau Alpha Sorority and to this day remains in
close contact with many of her “sisters”.
Music was a driving force in her life. After graduating from Auburn she took a job
ay Art Brun’s Miami Springs Villas, where nationally-known nighclub entertainer Kaye
Stevens saw her and signed her to a management contract. Judy was in “the biz”.
While touring with her band, she performed at a club in Detroit called the Moon
Supper Club. Hal Durham, a WSM executive, saw her and was impressed enough to
invite her to Nashville to perform on The Opry. Bud Wendell, the Opry manager, invited
her back.
One night, between shows, she was sitting in Bud’s office working a crossword
puzzle. She felt a presence, and looked up to see Minnie Pearl grinning down at her.
“Need some hep?” Minnie asked. That was the beginning of their friendship. Judy
joined Minnie’s bridge club and was invited to her home whenever she was in Nashville.
She fell in love with Minnie, her husband Henry, and whatever dog happened to be
around at the time.
Opryland Records signed n Judy to a recording contract and Acuff- Rose took
her on as a writer. After two single releases, Opryland’s distribution deal with Capitol
Records fell apart, so the label was basically finished. Opryland kept her under contract
and had several recordings in the “can” which never came to fruition.
Seeing no light at the end of the performance tunnel, Judy talked to Bud, who
suggested she join the Talent Division of Opryland Park, in the production end. Judy
became the National Sales Manager, and Minnie requested her as Responsible Agent
for all her Opryland activities.
In the late 1980’s Judy created a sitcom for Minnie called ‘Grinder’s Switch’. It
was optioned by Alan Courtney, CEO of Gaylord Productions in Los Angeles. NBC
approved it for a Sunday 7:00 PM time slot. Barbara Eden was slated to play Minnie’s
niece, Pearl. The concept was that Pearl would move back to Grinder’s Switch with her
two “totally Gucci” kids, and each week the kids would learn about “values”. Before the
pilot could be shot, Minnie suffered a stroke and the project was tabled.

Judy visited Minnie frequently in the nursing and was as supportive of Henry as
possible.
In 2011, Judy began writing a screenplay, hoping to complete it in time for what
would have been Minnie’s birthday in October of 2012. A host of show business
executives suggested the project would be better as a theatrical production. It is now
complete and hot off the press.
It is written with love, to honor America’s own Sarah Ophelia Colley - known to
the world as the incomparable Minnie - “Beneath The Hat”.

LLOYD WELLS
Script and Musical Consultant
Lloyd Wells (guitarist / arranger / orchestrator / composer) spent the years 1964-
1973 in New York as a working guitarist. His credits include 18 Broadway shows
(‘Cabaret’, ‘Company’, ‘Zorba’), the Ed Sullivan Show, the Tony Awards, the Merv
Griffin Show, Sesame Street & the Electric Company, the Johnny Carson Show and the
Skitch Henderson Show.
Singer credits include Peggy Lee, Rosemary Clooney, Guy Mitchell, and Jane
Russell.
Big bands include Glenn Miller Band (with Buddy DeFranco), Les & Larry Elgart
Band, and Paul Winter Jazz Sextet.
Movie tracks include ‘Life of Norman Rockwell’ (1971 Academy Award winning
documentary), ‘The Subject was Roses’, and ‘Something for Everyone’.
Film scoring includes documentary films for Palomar Productions under a grant
from Hofstra University.
In 1973, after moving to Nashville, Tennessee, Wells toured Russia with
Tennessee Ernie Ford and a troupe from the show park ‘Opryland USA’, and, as a
result, became the Music Director of Opryland, a position he held for 23 years. During
his tenure at Opryland, he did all the vocal/instrumental arrangements/ orchestrations
and original music for the major shows in the park. As a result of the Russian tour,
Wells became Tennessee Ernie Ford’s conductor/arranger for the last 15 years of
Ford’s life and convinced the singer to donate all the musical arrangements and
kinescopes of his television shows to the University of Southern Mississippi.
Wells has written arrangements/shows for Brenda Lee (two TNN specials); has
arranged/orchestrated shows for the Community Concert series (including the only
Gershwin estate sanctioned revue to tour the U.S. during the Gershwin centennial
celebration); has conducted the Nashville Symphony on several occasions (including
the Grand Opening of the Tennessee Center for the Performing Arts and the dedication
of the Bicentennial Mall); was arranger/conductor of 120 television shows on TNN
(‘Opryland on Stage’) and 120 shows with Porter Wagoner (‘Porter Wagoner at
Opryland’); arranged/ conducted the NBC Orchestra for the network special ’50 Golden
Years with Tennessee Ernie Ford’.
Wells’ favorite production, for which he wrote the dialogue/ original
music/arrangements and orchestrations was an Easter pageant (‘Easter … In Song and
Story’), performed in the Grand Ole Opry House during the Easter seasons of 1993 and
1994.

Wells has arranged/orchestrated productions for the Ryman Auditorium, the
Opryland Hotel, the Fiesta, Texas Theme Park (San Antonio, Texas), the 1982 World’s
Fair (Knoxville, Tennessee), the CBS Morning Show, the Today Show, the CMA
Awards, Carnegie Hall and the Voice of America.
From 1999-2006 Wells conducted seminars on film scoring at the George
Lindsey Film Festival in Florence, Alabama and plays at the W.C. Handy Festival in the
same city.
Wells lives in Nashville with his wife, Louise. Both are grateful that their children,
Lauren and Tre’ live within 15 minutes of them!

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