2. So I got thrown in the slammer recently (for
a B.S. charge) & had this same question.
I hoped they would give me food & water...
and I wouldn’t have to end up drinking my
own pee like this guy --------------------->
3. My friend found a bondsman
that had a get-out-of-jail-free
card (except it wasn’t really free)
and he was able to get me out af-
ter a few hours. I lucked out. No
urine drinking for me... but it
definitely still sucked!
Being in that cell still made me feel
dirty. And, not in a good way so pull
your mind out of the gutter.
4. The minute I was out, I really
contemplated skipping bail but
then it hit me: Dog the boun-
ty hunter would probably track
me down and bring me in any-
way. And, I really didn’t want to
see his dirty, greasy, 80’s hair up-
close. Which is why I decided
against it.
Which meant... I had to play by the rules. So, let’s get down to
business. When you post bail (or someone does for you) they will
typically hire a bail bondsmen to fork over the dough. To do this,
the bondsman will usually want around 10% of the total bail cost
from you (or whomever hires them). Guess what, you don’t get
this back!
5. If your bail is $5000, paying a bondsmen $500 sure beats try-
ing to come up with the $5k when you don’t have the cash. And
if you don’t post bail, you aren’t going anywhere until your court
date. Unless maybe you master-minded the construction of the
jail and have the blue-prints tattooed all over your body.
6. So, what’s to stop you from
fleeing after paying 10% of
your bail if you know you
aren’t getting it back? Well,
you know what it was for
me but it might be differ-
ent for you.
It might be knowing that if you run,
not only will the bounty hunter be after
you but also the police. And, you may
end up having to pay back the entire
amount of the bail. After all, that is why
the bounty hunter is looking for you; so
they don’t have to pay it.
7. So how do you post bail and get it back? You come up with the
full bail yourself, pay the bond and show up for court. Hopeful-
ly you didn’t do the crime so you won’t have to do the time. But if
you did do the crime, there’s a good chance some of that money is
going into court fees & attorneys. If you’re guilty, there’s really no
such thing as a get-out-of-jail-free card.
