Expanding your empathy_by_kronda_adair
I believe empathy is the core competency that is missing from much of the efforts to push the tech community in a direction towards more diversity of all kinds. Companies, communities and conferences cannot expect everything to magically change until they're willing to go deep and examine the systemic patterns and structures that keep underrepresented communities from feeling safe and welcome in the tech space. When confronting racism results in a critique of the manner in which the offender was confronted by the people calling themselves supporters, it makes it that much harder to address the real issues. If a man's first response to a woman complaining about a sexist incident or a sexual assault is to defend all the men who 'aren't like that,' that shows a lack of empathy. It keeps the focus on how men are being perceived, not empathizing with a woman who has been hurt. This talk is for people in positions of all sorts of privilege who consider themselves allies to underrepresented minorities and want to learn how to be more effective allies. We'll talk about what it's like to live as a minority--why someone might have what seems to you like an 'overreaction' to something that seems small. How to stop, drop, and empathize before you go on the personal defensive for anger that's directed at a group that you happen to be a part of, even if you didn't specifically do anything wrong. We'll talk about tone policing, derailing, man-splaining and other hurtful behaviors that are sometimes practiced by well meaning people who consider themselves allies.
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Expanding your empathy_by_kronda_adair
- 1. EXPANDING YOUR EMPATHY 1Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 2. Hashtag: #OSempathy 2Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 3. Kronda Adair @kronda kronda.com 3Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 4. 4Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 6. em • path • thy the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. 6Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 8. “Knowing that my son is gay prompted me to consider the issue from another perspecWve: that of a dad who wants all three of his kids to lead happy, meaningful lives with the people they love, a blessing Jane and I have shared for 26 years.” ~ Rob Portman 8Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 10. Why are we talking about this? 10Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 11. public funcWon oppression($event, $reacWon, $backlash) { global $event; $backlash = array( 'insults', 'verbal abuse' 'death threats', 'doxing', 'rape threats'); $reacWon = 'that’s not cool'; while ($event > 0) { $backlash = ($reacWon * 1000); } //endwhile } 11Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 21. hLp://www.abeerfortheshower.com/2013/05/my-‐parents-‐dont-‐understand-‐internet.html Your mom just doesn’t understand technology 14Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 22. Even the nice people make things harder someWmes. :( 15Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 23. 16Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 24. 17Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 25. Github 17Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 26. We all live in a bubble Photo by Emilio Labrador on Flickr: hLp://www.flickr.com/photos/3059349393/ 18Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 27. Marginalization vs Privilege •People of color •Transgender people •Differently-‐abled •Mental illness •Fat •Les-‐handed •Gay / Bi / Lesbian •Poor •Don’t like beer •Rich •Male •Cis-‐gender •White •English-‐speaking •Able-‐bodied •Young •ConvenWonally aLracWve 19Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 28. 90%: The percentage of showings of films today in a 10-‐mile radius in the DC metro area that "are stories about men or groups of men, where women play supporWng roles or fill out ensembles primarily focused on men." ~ Linda Holmes on NPR.com hLp://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2013/06/14/191568762/at-‐the-‐movies-‐the-‐women-‐are-‐gone 20Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 29. WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY? 21Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 30. They really don’t know why you’re so angry 22Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 31. How privilege is like browsers 23Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 32. White straight male: Latest Chrome (Max OS of course) 24Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 33. middle class Black lesbian: IE7 25Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 34. Differently abled trans person of color: IE6 (In quirks mode) 26Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 35. We’re looking at the same things, but we don’t see them the same way. SomeWmes we don’t see them at all. 27Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 36. 28Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 37. 28Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 38. 28Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 39. 28Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 40. 28Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 41. 28Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 42. 10 micro-‐aggressions per day * 365 days * 32 years = 116,800 29Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 43. BACK OFF! 30Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 44. Things to Avoid: 31Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 45. Things to Avoid: 1. Derailing 31Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 46. Things to Avoid: 1. Derailing 2. Tone Policing 31Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 47. Things to Avoid: 1. Derailing 2. Tone Policing 3. Mansplaining 31Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 50. Tone Policing I would be on your side if you just wouldn't be so ANGRY. Why can't we just hug it out? hLp://storify.com/ephanypdx/tone-‐policing 34Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 51. Mansplaining Hey liVle lady, let me tell you what it’s like to be a woman. hLp://mansplained.tumblr.com 35Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 52. So now what? Photo by Mark Roy on Flickr: hLp://www.flickr.com/photos/electricnerve/ 36Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 53. How I learned to stop worrying and apologize when I screw up 37Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 54. Three Step Plan 38Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 55. Three Step Plan 1. STOP 38Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 56. Three Step Plan 1. STOP 2. LISTEN 38Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 57. Three Step Plan 1. STOP 2. LISTEN 3. APOLOGIZE 38Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 58. Oops! Apology (Sincerity is key) Try to do beLer in the future 39Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 59. Evaluate your circle 40Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 60. Branch out of your comfort zone hLp://listverse.com/2012/11/23/top-‐10-‐unusual-‐animal-‐friendships/ 41Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 61. “If you find yourself in the unfortunate posiWon of being black-‐friendless, you can either go to the nearest black church and strike up a conversaWon, or just fire up Facebook, search for “black people,” and start clicking “Add Friend” on the names in the resulWng lists. Technology is amazing and quite a Wme-‐saver.” ― Baratunde R. Thurston, How to Be Black 42Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 62. But seriously • TwiLer • Books (FicWon and Non-‐ficWon) • Discussion Groups 43Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 63. 44Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 64. 44Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 65. 44Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 66. 44Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 67. 44Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 68. 44Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 69. 44Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 70. 44Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 71. Being a good ally is a process, not a state of being 45Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 72. Being a good ally is a process, not a state of being 1. Listen 45Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 73. Being a good ally is a process, not a state of being 1. Listen 2. Share what you learn 45Tuesday, June 18, 13
- 74. Being a good ally is a process, not a state of being 1. Listen 2. Share what you learn 3. Speak up for others 45Tuesday, June 18, 13