The Creating We Institute, The Importance of Good Listening and Conversation event
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This presentation was taken from The Luxury Marketing Council, The Importance of Good Listening and Conversation event, held at The Wick. Presentation was completed by Judith Glaser of The Creating We Institute.
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The Creating We Institute, The Importance of Good Listening and Conversation event
- 1. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Conversational IntelligenceTM Judith E. Glaser Chairman – The Creating WE Institute CEO Benchmark Communications, Inc.
- 2. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. HowWE Connect With Others!
- 3. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. WHY Conversational Intelligence? “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” - Pentagon Spokesman Robert McCloskey
- 4. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Reality Gaps Create Uncertainty
- 5. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Neuroscience of Human Behavior “I - WE” SHIFT FROM Power-over To Power-with
- 6. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Itzhak Bentov (scientist, inventor, mystic, author) in Stalking the Wild Pendulum Q "If we could see into each others hearts…. we would know our hearts beat with the same dreams!!!!!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl2_k nlv_xw
- 7. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. You Never ChangeThings by Fighting the Existing Reality To Change Something, Build a New Model That Makes the Existing Model Obsolete…. Buckminster Fuller – 20th Century Inventor &Visionary
- 8. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. What do Humans & Rats have in Common? Copyright 2013. Benchmark/ The Creating WE Institute™ All Rights Reserved. CONVERSATIONAL PATTERNS
- 9. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. What do Fish and Humans have in common? CONVERSATIONAL PATTERNS
- 10. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Depends on the quality of the Which depends on the quality of the Which depends on the quality of the Getting To The Next Level of Greatness Everything Happens Through Conversation! - Judith E. Glaser
- 11. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Unhealthy and Healthy TERRITORIAL VITAL I I & WE CONVERSATIONAL PATTERNS FOE FRIEND D N A
- 12. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Advanced Neuroscience Template Genes Transcription Genes Regulatory Genes Epigenetics Neuroplasticity
- 13. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Neurochemistry of Conversations – “Patterns” © The Creating WE Institute & Qualtrics; Published HBR Online March 2014 OPEN = Oxytocin CLOSED = Cortisol
- 14. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. WHAT’S GOING ON INYOUR HEAD? Why Leaders Need to KnowThis Leaders are Coaches & Facilitators of Conversations!
- 15. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. At the Moment of Contact “Interaction Dynamics” “Sending & Receiving” “Fear Or Trust” “Conversational Rituals Create the Space…” Wisdom Integrity Strategy Empathy Foresight Insight Trust Fight Flight Freeze Appease Q DISTRUST TRUST
- 16. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Conversational Intelligence® Matrix Level III –Transformational GROW Level II – Positional NAVIGATE Level I – Transactional CONNECT A S K T E L L Listening Listening Listening Listening ListeningListening
- 17. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. CONVERSATIONAL IMPACT .07 seconds
- 18. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. .07 Seconds At the Moment of Contact
- 19. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Making the Invisible Visible! Territorial Instincts Vital Instincts Conversational Intelligence Dashboard™ Cortisol Oxytocin PROTECT Fight Flight Freeze Appease Distrust PARTNER Wisdom Innovation Strategy Empathy Foresight Insight Trust I-WE Listen to Connect
- 20. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved.©1986- 2015 Benchmark Communications, Inc./The Creating we Institute DOWN REGULATE UP REGULATE
- 21. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Sean Corwin Glaser SEAN: Wait Mommy, you can’t go… because… because - “I have more words to say….. and more questions to ask …..” MOMMY (Liz): Good night Sean. Mommy is done talking. MOMMY (Liz): laughing….. I know honey. We can talk more tomorrow….
- 22. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. Conversational IntelligenceTM “We don’t usually remember what people said or what they did – however ” – Maya Angelou
- 23. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. For More Information Contact: Judith E. Glaser,CEO Benchmark Communications, Inc. Chairman ofThe CreatingWE Institute 212 307 4386 - 917 864 8466 www.conversationalintelligence.com www.creatingwe.com
- 24. Copyright 2015. Benchmark/ The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved. … and it’s in all human beings We just need to learn to understand it and it! Conversational Intelligence is the intelligence for our times.
Notes de l'éditeur
- Make the invisible visible Take a 3D View of Conversations Conversations have three dimensions — they are biochemical, relational and co-creational. Learn to manage these Three Dimensions (3D) and you will transform your world: First Dimension: Biochemical Learn to manage your own bio-reactions. When we are frustrated with others we get agitated which stimulates cortisol, a fear hormone. The more we project our negative and judgmental feelings toward others they more they become debilitated and are unable to engage in a healthy conversation about how to make things better. Our frustration may show up as bullying, intimidating, and micromanaging. These may help us release our anger or disappointment but it doesn’t get results. Manage your negative emotions and make a leadershift into inspiring others to higher performance. 2: Second Dimension: Relational Human beings have needs and aspirations. Needs are what we need from each other to feel good about my life and ourselves – we need respect, trust, support, caring and candor. Aspirations are what propel me forward – they are what trigger growth. I aspire to be a leader; I aspire to be a doctor. My aspirations are how I see myself in the future and its more than just about me — it’s also about “we.” When we connect with others at the relational level we become part of a powerful growth system where we are able to support each other’s next steps and honor each other’s identity. When we have a strong relationship with others and validate each other’s needs and aspirations, our chemistry shifts in to a very positive reinforcing cycle that triggers our ability to handle difficult challenges with greater courage. This builds mutually beneficial healthy relationships. 3: Third Dimension: Co-creational Focus on having Co-creating Conversations® Co-creating Conversations are designed to enable you and others to join together to create a new reality. Learning to let go of the past and focus on the future with others will be a powerful dimension to empower you and others. When you are co-creating, you are connecting around what success looks like – mutual success. Many times we get “addicted to being right” and we get so empowered by our own ideas that we drive toward our own success. When we are addicted to being right, we are producing dopamine, which is a “feel good” hormone and we lose sight of the person right in front of us. Learn to put your ego behind you — what matters less is what “I” can do, and what matters more is “we can do together.” Conversations are “WE-centric” and they affirm the power of what we can co-create. Mastering the Three Dimensions (3D) changes everything. Your ability to lead will increase exponentially, along with enhancing your ability to create inspiring environments where people work together for mutual gain, growth, and understanding. Rather than getting agitated by and tangled up in conversations about blame, fear, and frustrations about what is not happening at work, you establish a positive context for transformation by engaging people in ongoing conversations about what has, can, and will work to create a transformation. In doing so, you focus on what needs to happen to address the challenges and, with that focus and commitment, you develop into the best company possible. Rather than trying to fix the past, or dwell on it, you focus on bringing lessons from the past forward into creating the future with others.
- Explain why we go into distrust
- Me: Good night, Sean. Mommy is done talking. Sean: Mommy... Wait... You can't go because... Because...I have more words to say and more questions to ask. Me: (Laughing) I know, honey. We can talk more tomorrow. Feel free to use the story, Judy! :-)