1. Finding Your Grit
Think of a time when life dealt you a blow and you felt that the path to your
passion and success was fully blocked. You could see no way around the
roadblock and the attainment of your goal seemed impossible. What did you do?
Did you stay stuck in your misery, did you give up on your goal and passion or dig
down deep and find your “grit” in order to pave a new path to your desired goal
and the ultimate success of living your life’s passion and purpose?
Itis easy to havea passion for something. We all do at somelevel. But it is the
people with grit who keep following their passion no matter whatlife throws at
them. Timothy Shriver in his book “Fully Alive: Discovering WhatMatters Most”
wrotea wholechapter on the subjectof having grit. Much of the chapter is about
the Special Olympic athletes he works with and how much grit they have. He
writes, “If weare going to pursueour dreams, if we are going to muster the grit
and optimism necessary to bring those dreams to life, we need to silence the
voices in our heads, and around us that tell us not to try.”(Shriver 2014: 196) He
also writes about the research being done trying to understand grit by Angela Lee
Duckworth atThe University of Pennsylvania. Shehas found that, “Grit influences
success morethan IQ or any other personality factor. The research defines “grit”
as having two parts-oneis perseveranceand the other is passion for long term
goals.” (Shriver 2014: 195)
Duckworth states in a September 2013 EducationalLeadership interview that,
“Grit is not justhaving resilience in the face of failure, but also having deep
commitments that you remain loyal to over many years.”(Duckworth 2013: 14-20)
Duckworth stated in her TED Talk that though she knows gritis an important
factor in success, sheis not surehow we can develop grit. “To me the most
shocking thing about grit is how little weknow, how little science knows about
building it. Every day, parents and teachers ask me, ‘How do I build grit in kids?
What do I do to teach kids a solid work ethic? How do I keep them motivated for
the long run?’ The honestanswer is I don’t know.” (Duckworth 2103: TED)
Duckworth continues with this, “So far, the best idea I’veheard about building grit

2. in kids is something called ‘growth mindset.’ This is an idea developed at Stanford
University by Carol Dwek, and it is the belief that the ability to learn is not fixed,
that it can change with your effort. Dr. Dwek has shown that when kids read and
learn about the brain and how it changes and grows in responseto challenge,
they are much morelikely to perseverewhen they fail, becausethey don’t believe
their failure is a permanent condition.” (Duckworth 2013: TED)
Someone who has found their grit does not give up when life’s challenges get in
the way. They may havemoments of feeling helpless and down. But they have the
tools to shift their perspectiveand find ways to surmountthe obstacles in their
path. They usetheir challenges as life lessons and self-growth opportunities. They
also understand that the rewards to their efforts are usually not instantaneous
and that it takes long term determination to achieve whatever it is they want.
Self-Application
So how does someone find their grit and make it grow? Research aside, everyone
has to overcomea hurdle of somesize in their lives, so everyonemust have a bit
of grit even if it is in hiding. As Glinda in “The Wizard of Oz” said to Dorothy, “You
don't need to be helped any longer. You'vealways had the power to go back to
Kansas”. TheScarecrow asks, “Why didn’tyou tell her before?” Glinda replies,
“Because shewouldn't have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.” So
finding your grit requires you to look inward and not outward for the solutions to
your problems in life. Self-reflection is important in order to find that part of your
SELF that is strong and capable of forging forward and remaining positive.
Remember the rough times you have experienced and how you felt. What did you
do to work through your troubles and how long you did stay stuck in your
troubles before you found a new path? What did you learn fromyour experience
and whatwas it in you that helped you move forward? Even if you stayed mired in
your troubles, with your feet stuck to the ground for a very long time, you did
eventually move forward. Whatdid you do to make that happen? Whatever you
did came from your grit. Maybe it wasn’ta big moveforward, butit was a move
forward.

3. Finding a quiet place to meditate can help you remember when you found the
strength to makeit through tough times. Sometimes we forgethow truly strong
and resourcefulwehave been in the past. Quiet reflection is a way to gain clarity
of insight and to retrieve those forgotten tools we haveused in the past. If
meditation is not for you, finding anyplace quiet and justbeing with your breath
can do. Or a walk in nature may help you to help find that inner strength. You can
also put your thoughts down in writing to help you make morereal pastsuccesses
and understand how you achieved them. You soon will discover that you do have
some “grit.”
Focus on that spark of strength and grit. Then grow it. Use the “growth mindset”
developed by CarolDwek and take the spark of “grit” that you discovered and
make it a flame next time you face a seemingly unsurmountableobstaclein your
path. Learn fromeach experience, good or bad and keep growing that grit on
your pathway to success.
Don’tbe discouraged if you feel stuck again in your life. That happens to
everyone, grit or not. Having grit does not prevent you fromgetting stuck, failing
or feeling unsureabout what is next. Having grit allows you the strength to move
forward no matter how hard the fall. You will certainly have to go back to the
times of reflection to help you yet again. In fact, making a practice of meditating,
quiet reflection, writing or someother form self-discovery willhelp you be at
peace in the toughest of times so that you can better see the path ahead.
Coaching Application
If a client struggles with moving forward when faced with obstacles on the path to
their life purposeand ultimate success thecoach can help them recognizeand
build on their strengths. As the client discovers thesestrengths they will realize
they do have the grit to get through tough times, learn fromtheir mistakes and
lessons and grow fromevery experience they have.

4. Some powerfulquestions the coach can ask would be:
1. Remember a time in your life that you faced some struggles. What did you
do to move forward?
2. How long did it take you to moveforward and when you did what was the
motivator to help you do so?
3. What did it feel like when you were stuck and how did it serveyou to be
stuck?
4. What were the tools and strengths you used to move forward?
5. What did it feel like when you moved past your obstacles and found
success and how did that feeling serveyou?
6. What lessons did you learn from your struggleand subsequentsuccesses?
7. What self-growth occurred during this time?
8. How can you build on those tools and strengths and lessons to persevere
whenever you are blocked in your path in life?
This is justa suggestion as a path to helping a client find their “grit.” Really there
is no “recipe” in coaching as each client is unique and they are in control of where
a session goes. Start the questions and let the client lead the way. Any questions
asked may well be answered over several sessions as theclient will need time to
reflect on each one and have their time for self-discovery. Thecoach can help the
client find the practice of self-reflection that bestsuits the client. Itmay be
journaling, meditating, quiet walks in natureor any form of quiet time that suits
the client best. Asking the client how they have bestdone self-reflection in the
past may help them develop a good practice and help them to find their grit. The
coach will supportthe client through process continually directing them to
discover their strength and grit. They will learn to build on their newly discovered
strength and take lessons fromevery experience they have to help them live a
purposeful, successfullife.

5. Reflection
What practice do you have to supportyour self-reflection? Use that practice to
discover your answers to the powerfulquestions listed above and to discover
your “grit.”
Work cited
Duckwort, Angela Lee. “The Key to Success? Grit.” TED. April 2013. Lecture.
http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit?lang
uage=en
--- “The Significanceof Grit: A Conversation with Angela Lee Duckworth.”
Interview by Deborah Perkins-Gough. EducationalLeadership 71.1.(2013): 14-20.
Web. 31 Dec. 2014.
Dwek, Carol. Mindset: The Psychology of Success. New York: Ballantine Books,
2006. Print
Shriver, Timothy. Fully Alive; Discovering WhatMatters Most. New York: Sarah
Crichton Books, 2014. Print.
The Wizard of Oz Dir. Victor Fleming and King Vidor. MGM 1939.