1. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE “ putting you on the road to healthier relationships”

2. Helping you to watch out for the signs

3. The aim of our program is to teach young people how to protect themselves from domestic violence. We see the easiest way of doing this is helping you to watch out for the warning signs of domestic violence so you can prevent it from getting worse and get out of destructive situations. By doing this you can form happy healthy relationships with your peers, partners and family.

4. Why is it a major problem?

7. 364 final protection orders affecting approximately 30,000 children were made in the Family Court between 2000-2003. 7,966 women and 9,241 children used Refuge services in 2000-2001. Police records show that 52% of murders in 2000 were family violence related. In the same year 12,000 family violence assaults were recorded - Family Court of New Zealand Keeping in mind a lot of domestic violence goes un noticed or unreported....

15. C ERCION & THREATS To gain an understanding of how Coercion and threats affect a relationship, it is important to know the signs, in order to act fast. Do they... Threaten to harm you or anyone close to you, including family, friends, children and even pets. Threatens to use self-harm if you do not comply with their terms. Blackmail – Threatening to disclose private information about you to others. Using physical force, for example choking, hitting and weapons to acquire sexual acts. This can include unwanted kissing, petting or intercourse. Using verbal strategies, such as lying, purposely causing arguments, and threatening to finish the relationship to gain sexual intercourse.

17. A person is not born an a abuser they learn the behavior. ISOLATION

20. Minimising, Denying and Blaming - These are tactics of abuse The signs... You shouldn't be so sensitive I was only joking ! I only do it because you wind me up ! Its not that bad everyone does it ! You are making a big deal over nothing People that make the decision to abuse another are often very good at denying this or making up excuses for the abuse. Very rarely will the abuser ever take responsibility for the choices they are making and the damage they are causing.

21. Ways to stay safe... Observe your environment and trust yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, try to leave the situation. If you can tell you are about to get into an argument with a partner try to move to somewhere where they are a lot of exits or other people around just in case you need to get away. Always carry money with you, it should be enough to make a phone call, or pay for a taxi if you get into a situation your not comfortable with. Know the phone numbers of people or agencies you can call if you need help. Making sure your phone is always fully charged it also helpful. TELL SOMEONE! If the abuse is happening make sure you tell someone you trust. Abuse can be very hard to deal with an no one deserves to do this by themselves.

22. Having friends in your life as a teenager is important They give you a sense of social acceptance , and emotional confidence When in a relationship you can compromise your friendships This can happen either by you or your partner

24. Do y ou put friends in the middle of your arguments? Do y ou ask them to take sides? Do you a sk your friends to keep tabs on your partner?

25. Could this be you or involve someone you know? There are people who can help Relationship Services : 0800 RELATE Women's Refuge Crisis- line: 09 3781893 Preventing Violence in the Home: 09 3033938 Family Violence Helpline: 09 3033939 Man Alive Counselling: 098350509 Family Violence Information Line: 0800456450 Youthline: 0800 376633 What's Up?: 0800 9428787

26. References Adams, Clarke, Codd, O'Neill, Openshaw, Waitere-Ang. (2000). Educatuion & Society in Aotearoa New Zealand. Palmerston North, New Zealand:Dunmore Press Ltd Hope Digits. 2005. Domestic violence. Retrieved June, 2, 2008 from http://www.hopedigits.com/What_Is_Domestic_Violence/Isolation.html Plummer, D. (2005) Helping Adolesencents and Adults to Build Self-Esteem .Jessica Kingsley Publishers. London and Philadelphia Whatsup . 2007. Statiscal summary 2007. Retrieved June, 2, 2008 from http://www.whatsup.co.nz/links_resources/pdfs/StatSum07.pdf Titus, A.,& Potter, J. (2005). Education for Change; Transforming the way we teach our children. London & New York. RoutledgeFalmer Teen health. (2008). Am I in a health relationship. Retrieved May, 27, 2008 from /webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab=community&url=%2Fbin%2Fcommon%2Fcourse.pl%3Fcourse_id%3D_16294_1 Teen Relationships.(2008)What is abuse? Retrieved June, 2, 2008 from http://www.teenrelationships.org/abuse/.html

27. References