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Bloom!
              A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE




1   © Mass Ignition
Whether you are fully aware of it or not,
         you are in one cycle or the other

    Doom                Vs.
                                   Bloom
    Cycle                           Cycle

2   © Mass Ignition
WHY WE DOOM
                    “ONENESS BROKEN”

    Finances                                    Passions/Hobbies



    Family                                      Health



      Kids                                       Career


      Loss                                      Addictions

                Friends            Culture

      Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over
3     you…through painful toil…all the days… Gen. 3
HOW WE BLOOM
                 “ONENESS SUSTAINED”


    Finances                                   Passions/Hobbies


    Family
                                               Health

     Kids
                                               Career

     Loss
                                               Addictions


                Friends           Culture

      …they will become one flesh Gen. 2:24
4     Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph. 5:21
WHY WE MUST BLOOM




    God patterned them after Himself. Gen. 1:27
5
    …so that we can be mirrors that reflect His glory 2Cor. 3:18
HOMEWORK:
    A COMMITMENT PLAN
         -to sacrificially love daily, yearly, & seasonally

    1.     Find your vows and verses. Decide what to do with them.
    2.     Clarify your top 2 love languages and list 5 ways it can be met
    3.     Determine what are the top 3 threats to your oneness
    4.     List the top 5 reasons you married the other
    5.     Discuss how you will handle your future anniversaries

    Bonus:
    Within the next 6 weeks, write a note of recommitment


6        © Mass Ignition
What it takes to BLOOM!
    The 5 key nutrients:

    •Commit to Love
    •Cherish & Respect
    •Be Gracious & Forgive
    •Choose the Right Words
    •Seek a Greater Purpose
7    © Mass Ignition
DOOMING Myth #2:
    Most spouses know the
    other’s core need

                 BLOOMING Truth #2:
                 Most spouses’ core needs are
                 unidentified and go unmet

8   © Mass Ignition
CORE NEED OF WOMAN/MAN



                       WOMAN       MAN
           CHERISHED            RESPECTED
        relationship-oriented   task-oriented
              nurturers             fixers
             “The One”          “The Hero”
9    © Mass Ignition
CORE PROBLEM OF WOMAN/MAN




     “Our ability to cherish and respect
     one another is hampered by the sin
     in us and the sin we see in others.”

10   © Mass Ignition
CORE SOLUTION FOR WOMAN/MAN



 Ephesians 5
 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for
   Christ…
 33 However, each one of you (husbands) also must
   love (cherish) his wife as he loves himself,
   and the wife must respect her husband.
11   © Mass Ignition
CHERISH & RESPECT
     However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,
     and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33

                            with
                            cherish

                                      she
                                                                 “DOOM”
             he
       responds                       responds         without
                                                       respect

                          with
                          respect         he                     she
                                       reacts                    reacts
“BLOOM”
        © Mass Ignition
                                                without
12
                                                cherish
C&R                SIMPLE ACTION
     Commit to love the other
     in their love language
     and
     they will feel
     cherished or respected.

                        LL=CR
13    © Mass Ignition
C&R SIMPLE COMMUNICATION
 Husbands to Wives:
 “Lately, I have felt disrespected by you, what have I been doing
 to not make you feel cherished.”



 Wives to Husbands:
 “Lately, I have not felt cherished by you,
 what have I been doing to not make you feel respected.”
14    © Mass Ignition
HOMEWORK:
     CHERISH & RESPECT
     1. Husband asks the following:
        What have I done or failed to do to make you feel uncherished?
        What are some things I can do to make you feel cherished?

     2. Wives ask the following:
        What have I done or failed to do to make you feel disrespected?
        What are some things I can do to make you feel respected?

     3. Together reflect back on your love language lists
        to see how the cherish and respect needs relate.

     4. Pray daily asking God’s help to cherish/respect your spouse.
15     © Mass Ignition

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A 5-Week Tune-Up for Any Marriage

  • 1. Bloom! A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE 1 © Mass Ignition
  • 2. Whether you are fully aware of it or not, you are in one cycle or the other Doom Vs. Bloom Cycle Cycle 2 © Mass Ignition
  • 3. WHY WE DOOM “ONENESS BROKEN” Finances Passions/Hobbies Family Health Kids Career Loss Addictions Friends Culture Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over 3 you…through painful toil…all the days… Gen. 3
  • 4. HOW WE BLOOM “ONENESS SUSTAINED” Finances Passions/Hobbies Family Health Kids Career Loss Addictions Friends Culture …they will become one flesh Gen. 2:24 4 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph. 5:21
  • 5. WHY WE MUST BLOOM God patterned them after Himself. Gen. 1:27 5 …so that we can be mirrors that reflect His glory 2Cor. 3:18
  • 6. HOMEWORK: A COMMITMENT PLAN -to sacrificially love daily, yearly, & seasonally 1. Find your vows and verses. Decide what to do with them. 2. Clarify your top 2 love languages and list 5 ways it can be met 3. Determine what are the top 3 threats to your oneness 4. List the top 5 reasons you married the other 5. Discuss how you will handle your future anniversaries Bonus: Within the next 6 weeks, write a note of recommitment 6 © Mass Ignition
  • 7. What it takes to BLOOM! The 5 key nutrients: •Commit to Love •Cherish & Respect •Be Gracious & Forgive •Choose the Right Words •Seek a Greater Purpose 7 © Mass Ignition
  • 8. DOOMING Myth #2: Most spouses know the other’s core need BLOOMING Truth #2: Most spouses’ core needs are unidentified and go unmet 8 © Mass Ignition
  • 9. CORE NEED OF WOMAN/MAN WOMAN MAN CHERISHED RESPECTED relationship-oriented task-oriented nurturers fixers “The One” “The Hero” 9 © Mass Ignition
  • 10. CORE PROBLEM OF WOMAN/MAN “Our ability to cherish and respect one another is hampered by the sin in us and the sin we see in others.” 10 © Mass Ignition
  • 11. CORE SOLUTION FOR WOMAN/MAN Ephesians 5 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ… 33 However, each one of you (husbands) also must love (cherish) his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 11 © Mass Ignition
  • 12. CHERISH & RESPECT However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33 with cherish she “DOOM” he responds responds without respect with respect he she reacts reacts “BLOOM” © Mass Ignition without 12 cherish
  • 13. C&R SIMPLE ACTION Commit to love the other in their love language and they will feel cherished or respected. LL=CR 13 © Mass Ignition
  • 14. C&R SIMPLE COMMUNICATION Husbands to Wives: “Lately, I have felt disrespected by you, what have I been doing to not make you feel cherished.” Wives to Husbands: “Lately, I have not felt cherished by you, what have I been doing to not make you feel respected.” 14 © Mass Ignition
  • 15. HOMEWORK: CHERISH & RESPECT 1. Husband asks the following: What have I done or failed to do to make you feel uncherished? What are some things I can do to make you feel cherished? 2. Wives ask the following: What have I done or failed to do to make you feel disrespected? What are some things I can do to make you feel respected? 3. Together reflect back on your love language lists to see how the cherish and respect needs relate. 4. Pray daily asking God’s help to cherish/respect your spouse. 15 © Mass Ignition