1. CrucialCrucial
ConversationsConversations

2. Start With HeartStart With Heart
 What do I want for me?What do I want for me?
 What do I want forWhat do I want for
others?others?
 What do I want for theWhat do I want for the
relationship?relationship?

3. Learn To LookLearn To Look
 Am I going to silence or violence?Am I going to silence or violence?
 Are others?Are others?
Look for when the conversation becomes crucial

4. Make It SafeMake It Safe
 Why is safety at risk?Why is safety at risk?
 Have I established Mutual Purpose?Have I established Mutual Purpose?
 Am I maintaining MutualAm I maintaining Mutual
Respect?Respect?
 What will I do to rebuild safety?What will I do to rebuild safety?
Apologize when appropriate

5. Master Your StoriesMaster Your Stories
 What am I pretending not to know about my role in theWhat am I pretending not to know about my role in the
problem?problem?
 Why would a reasonable, rational, andWhy would a reasonable, rational, and
decent person do this?decent person do this?
 What should I do right now toWhat should I do right now to
move toward what I really want?move toward what I really want?
Retrace your actions

6. S.T.A.T.E.S.T.A.T.E.
Your PathYour Path
 Am I really open to others’ views?Am I really open to others’ views?
 Am I talking about the real issue?Am I talking about the real issue?
 Am I confidently expressing my own views?Am I confidently expressing my own views?

7. Explore Others’ ViewsExplore Others’ Views
 Am I activelyAm I actively
exploring others’exploring others’
views?views?
 Am I avoidingAm I avoiding
unnecessaryunnecessary
disagreement?disagreement?

8. Move To ActionMove To Action
 How will we make decisions?How will we make decisions?
 Who will do what by when?Who will do what by when?
 How will we follow-up?How will we follow-up?