4. Preserving Your Identity
Outside of Your
Relationship
Don’t…
Neglect your friends or family
Skip out on important personal obligations
Do…
Keep up with your own interests
Continue to grow as a person
Practice self-care
7. A loved one’s…
Watch for signs (any of the red flags previously noted), keep track of frequency and
severity
Set up a time to talk to your loved one in a safe, private place
Be specific, use “I” not “you” language
Give back their power
Plan for safety
Be patient
Practice self care
8. Your own…
Know when to work on it and when to end it
Reach out: This campus cares
A trusted professor or faculty member
A TA
A trusted friend
A parent
Any RA
Any RD
Counseling center: 131 VanHousen Hall, (315) 267-2330
Peer counselors: (315) 261-8873
UP: (315) 267-2222
You deserve safety and respect
9. Safer Sex Kits
For more information or to get involved with PAEG,
like their Facebook page: Potsdam AIDs Education
Group
11. Prevalence
Sexual violence is terribly prevalent on most college
campuses:
about 20% of female college students will be
sexually assaulted before graduation
for the general population, 3% of men experience
sexual violence- for men in college, that statistic
increases to 5.4%
(RAINN, 2009)
12. What is sexual assault?
Any sexual act in which one or both parties did not or
cannot consent.
Anyone under the influence of drugs or alcohol
Anyone physically unable to say “yes” or “no” to
what is happening to them (e.g. someone who is
unconscious.)
In the state of New York, anyone under the age of
17
13. Defining Consent
The official definition: the agreement to engage in specific sexual
contact, which may be given by verbal agreement or active and
willing participation in the sexual activity, verbal agreement is always
better than assuming. Always ask for consent. Verbally. Out loud.
So, basically…
14. Obtaining Consent
“Do you like that?”
“I really want to kiss you.”
“Can I touch you?”
“Do you want me?”
It is important to keep in mind the difference between
obtaining consent and being coercive. If you have
consent, you shouldn’t have to ask more than once.
15. The Difference Between
Consent and Coercion
Obtaining consent sounds like…
Can I do (x) with you?
Do you want this?
Do you want to keep going?
Coercion sounds like…
Come on, please?
But you wanted it before, we already started.
You’re being so unfair.
If you find yourself having to think of convincing things in favor of having
sex, you do not have willing consent.
17. The Bystander Effect
The bystander effect, or bystander apathy, is a social
psychological phenomenon that refers to cases in which
individuals do not offer any means of help to a victim when
other people are present. The probability of help is
inversely related to the number of bystanders.
The bad news: The more people you see around who you
think will do something about what you see happening, the
less likely that anyone will help.
The good news: The more aware you are that the bystander
effect exists, the more likely you are to act.
18. You Can Save a Life:
Always Intervene
Victims of sexual assault are…
3 times more likely to suffer from depression
6 times more likely to suffer from post traumatic
stress disorder
13 times more likely to abuse alcohol
26 times more likely to abuse drugs
4 times more likely to contemplate suicide
19. First Steps to Intervening
Recognize that there is a problem
Decide to act
Plan your intervention
21. If you don’t feel comfortable
intervening, you can still
help…
Delegation:
Someone you know is more comfortable with confrontation
An authority figure of wherever you are
Bouncer, bartender, host of the party, member of the frat
A friend of the person who is being harassed
A friend of the harasser
22. If the situation has
escalated beyond your
control…
Call UP from your phone, a friend’s phone, or a
blue light phone (315) 267-2222
Do not call 911, it will dispatch to the Canton police
department first and getting help will take longer
23. SUNY-Wide Amnesty
Policy
The health and safety of every student at the State University of New York and its State-operated and
community colleges is of utmost importance. SUNY Potsdam recognizes that students who have been
drinking and/or using drugs (whether such use is voluntary or involuntary) at the time that violence, including
but not limited to domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, or sexual assault occurs may be hesitant to
report such incidents due to fear of potential consequences for their own conduct. Potsdam strongly
encourages students to report incidents of domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, or sexual assault to
institution officials. A bystander acting in good faith or a reporting individual acting in good faith that discloses
any incident of domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, or sexual assault to SUNY Potsdam officials or
law enforcement will not be subject to Potsdam’s code of conduct action for violations of alcohol and/or drug
use policies occurring at or near the time of the commission of the domestic violence, dating violence,
stalking, or sexual assault.
Translation:
If you are a bystander: Even if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time that you are
reporting a crime, you have done the right thing. You will not be subject to the code of conduct.
If you are a victim: Even if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time that violence is
committed against you, this is still not your fault. You will not be subject to the code of conduct.
This is a state-wide mandate.
