1. The Pitfalls of Perfectionism and How to Avoid Them 1
Michael Sturgeon
11/30/2010
The Pitfalls of Perfectionism and How to Avoid Them
My interest in this topic began with the message inside of a fortune cookie which
initially did not make a lot of sense to me. The fortune read: “Perfect is the enemy of
good,” and while it was confusing at first, it was actually a revelation to me about how
one can improve his or her life simply by doing things well rather than agonizing over the
minor details and imperfections. I initially thought that it was a misprint or that
something was lost in translation. “Why settle for good when you can go for perfection?”,
I asked myself. After discussing the quote with some of my co-workers and with a little
help from Google, we determined that it was no mistake, it was actually a very great way
to look at things. A helpful analogy I formed while pondering my fortune is that of a
touchdown in a football game. Whether a quarterback launches a tightly spiraled 60 yard
bomb to his wide receiver, or a running back runs it in from 1 yard out, it’s still 6 points
on the scoreboard. It’s funny how something as seemingly insignificant as a Chinese
fortune cookie message can contain such a powerful message!
When this topic came up in class, I knew immediately that I would like to explore
the understanding of the psychological pitfalls of perfectionism, and how to avoid this
negative philosophy at all costs. In this paper, I will first establish a working definition of
“perfectionism” based on my sources as well as my own personal understanding of it.
Afterwards I will discuss why it is not a helpful way to both look at life and the and to
overcome the challenges one faces while living. It’s not very useful to explain why
something is bad and then not offer a better way to do things; therefore I will also discuss
ways to avoid thinking those perfectionist thoughts and some useful activities to combat

2. The Pitfalls of Perfectionism and How to Avoid Them 2
the negativity. I looked at a couple of psychological studies on how perfectionism leads
to other problems as well, such as depression and binge eating. Finally, I will seek to
apply these findings to my own life as a means to aid me in better overcoming and
interpreting the challenges of life.
Perfectionism is a collection of thoughts and behaviors that are associated with a
pressing need to achieve an impossible standard of perfection. Ann Smith provides some
important indicators of perfectionism: avoidance of stillness and quiet, placing excessive
demands on your time and energy, feeling like you are never doing enough, obsessing
about the details of a task and overwhelming ourselves with its enormity, and being
frustrated with and criticizing the imperfections of others (1990). If two or more of these
indicators apply to someone, they are probably a perfectionist. It is normal to try to be the
best you can be, but, “This desire to be superhuman only becomes a problem when we
begin to believe that perfection is actually possible-even necessary-for self esteem, peace
of mind and acceptance by others.” (Smith, 1990). In other words, if trying to be the best
at everything becomes a compulsion; it’s time to think about making some changes in
your life for the sake of your own personal happiness. But how does a perfectionist
behave and think differently than a “normal person”? To demonstrate I will give an
example of something we all can relate to; procrastination. Mallinger and DeWyze assert
that perfectionists, “tend to procrastinate because all tasks look large when they have to
be done flawlessly.“ (1992). In other words they procrastinate not because there are other
things in their lives they would rather do, but because every minute task involved in an
activity seems like a mountain of hard work. This makes it hard for them to break it
down into small parts, and they make things out to be harder than they really are until

3. The Pitfalls of Perfectionism and How to Avoid Them 3
they seem impossible (Smith, 1990).It is very hard to avoid perfectionism in this country
especially, because it, “is exacerbated by a society which feeds in the belief that we can
and should improve on any flaw-whether it is our laundry detergent, skin tone, parenting
or lovemaking,” asserts Smith (1990) In a country where commerce in king, there are a
lot of opportunities to exploit and even reinforce our attachment to this understanding of
perfectionism. If your house isn’t perfectly scented you can buy automatic air fresheners.
If your child isn’t behaving in a perfect way, buy them pills that turn them into smiling
little automatons! If your house isn’t perfectly decorated for Christmas, you can buy
these tacky inflatable lawn ornaments! This can lead to people thinking, “If I don’t have
X. I will be unhappy and not as perfect as the person that has X”. This collection of
behaviors and thoughts is very common in the United States not only because we as a
people are always striving for greatness, but also because our culture of consumption
actively encourages buying things in the hope that they will aid our pursuit of an
impossible standard of perfection.
In a 2010 study at Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia, researchers attempted to
make a connection between depression and perfectionism. They had 240 university
students keep track of incidents of catastrophic thinking, difficulty accepting the past, and
depressive symptoms for four weeks (Graham et al., 2010). The data they collected
supports the Existential Model of Perfectionism and Depressive Symptoms (EMPDS),
which hypothesizes that, “perfectionist concerns confer risk for depressive symptoms
both though catastrophic interpretations that magnify small setbacks into big obstacles
and though negative views of life experiences as unacceptable, dissatisfying, and
meaningless.“ (Graham et al., 2010). Students that were identified as perfectionists were

4. The Pitfalls of Perfectionism and How to Avoid Them 4
at a statistically significant higher risk for depressive symptoms than students who were
not identified as perfectionists.
Sherry and Hall sought to establish a connection between perfectionism and binge
eating in a study they did in 2009. They had 566 female psychology students complete
personality scales in a lab and then the students completed an 88 question, internet based,
structured diary once a day for 7 days (Sherry & Hall, 2009). Their data indicated that
individuals who were high in Socially Prescribed Perfectionism (SPP) were at a higher
risk for binge eating because their perception that others are demanding perfection of
themselves generates conditions in their lives that are triggers for binge episodes (Sherry
and Hall, 2009). Since they are very preoccupied with what other people think of their
eating habits, the stress they put on themselves by controlling their eating all the time
eventually bursts like a dam into a great deluge of eating.
In order to apply what I have learned to my personal stress management plan, I’ll
look at some cognitive/behavioral exercises to avoid perfectionist thoughts and behavior
in my life. Mallinger and DeWyze suggest that you, “catch yourself as often as possible
thinking judgmental thoughts and notice how unpleasant the feeling is…then notice that
having made the observation is doing you no good, it hurts and has few redeeming
qualities compared to problems it causes.” (1992). This goes along with the concept of
mindfulness, which we covered in class; if I start noticing whenever I have a
judgmental/perfectionist thought about myself or others and how unpleasant it is, I can
condition myself to stop having those thoughts since it is human nature to avoid that
which we do not find pleasurable. Mallinger and DeWyze also ask that you, “…don’t
cripple your relationships out of a need to be preoccupied with what’s wrong; it is just as

5. The Pitfalls of Perfectionism and How to Avoid Them 5
easy to focus on what’s right with practice.” (1992). As we learned in class, the more you
think a certain way, the easier it becomes because your brain actually configures itself to
more efficiently think our most common thoughts! In my stress management plan I can
catch myself whenever I feel that something is wrong or unacceptable and try to think
about what is right in it.
Two of the authors I read also provided some activities and ways of thinking that
can assist me in better managing the stress that comes from perfectionism. Smith
provides a plethora of examples of activities you can do to combat perfectionism: “take a
walk on a rainy day, stepping in puddles along the way; play crazy games for laughs not
competition; deliberately leave something undone every day; reflect with pride at the end
of the day on how well you let go of it; make a list of things you have no intention of
doing and don’t do them; stop and build fun into your day,” all of these seem like great
suggestions (1990). Another suggestion is to “Aim for Average”, where you, “imagine
what a B- in the task would be, and then do it only that well,” Mallinger and DeWyze
suggests that this will make certain tasks take less time and seem less difficult (1992). A
good example of applying this idea is if I had a bunch of emails from friends I could give
myself 5 minutes to type a very average email for each friend; that will mean one less
email to compose and my friend will be happy to know I am thinking of him or her.
Bibliography

6. The Pitfalls of Perfectionism and How to Avoid Them 6
Graham, A.R., Sherry, S.B., Stewart, S.H., Sherry, D.L., McGrath, D.S., Fossum, K.M.,
& Allen, S.L. (2010). The Exisitential Model of Perfectionism and Depressive
Symptoms: A Short-Term, Four-wave Longitudinal Study. Journal of Counseling
Psychology. Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/a0020667.
Mallinger, A.E.., & DeWyze, J. (1992). Too Perfect, When Being in Control Gets out of
Control. New York, New York: Clarkson N. Potter.
Sherry, S.B., & Hall, P.A. (2009). The Perfectionism Model of Binge Eating: Tests of an
Integrative Model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 96 (No. 3),
690-709. doi: 10.1037/a0014528.
Smith, A.W. (1990) Overcoming Perfectionism, The Key to A Balanced Recovery.
Deerfield Beach, Florida: Health Communication.

7. The Pitfalls of Perfectionism and How to Avoid Them 6
Graham, A.R., Sherry, S.B., Stewart, S.H., Sherry, D.L., McGrath, D.S., Fossum, K.M.,
& Allen, S.L. (2010). The Exisitential Model of Perfectionism and Depressive
Symptoms: A Short-Term, Four-wave Longitudinal Study. Journal of Counseling
Psychology. Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/a0020667.
Mallinger, A.E.., & DeWyze, J. (1992). Too Perfect, When Being in Control Gets out of
Control. New York, New York: Clarkson N. Potter.
Sherry, S.B., & Hall, P.A. (2009). The Perfectionism Model of Binge Eating: Tests of an
Integrative Model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 96 (No. 3),
690-709. doi: 10.1037/a0014528.
Smith, A.W. (1990) Overcoming Perfectionism, The Key to A Balanced Recovery.
Deerfield Beach, Florida: Health Communication.