1. Cambridge High Graduation Speech
Cambridge, Ohio
Michael Nern
May 24, 2015
Notes inbold inthe following speech provide additional informationas needed
to helpreaders understandthe full context inwhichI was operating.
Congratulations, graduates!
And congratulations parents, guardians, grandparents, relatives, and
friends.
A tip of the hat to the faculty, administration, and staff of Cambridge High
School. Working together, you all made this day possible. This past year I met
many of your teachers, your administrators, theamazing office staff, maintenance
workers, and your security officer.
Dear students, you havea fine lot of people looking out for you in this
beautiful building.
Cambridge, Ohio, might be a place someof you are eager to leave, but as
an outsider, a Zanesvillian, I find Cambridge to be an attractive and impressive

2. city—complete with a real city park! (Zanesville, Ohio, does not have anything
that can be calleda traditional city park.)
I began my 28 years at Ohio University Zanesville teaching freshman
composition in the old Cambridge High Schoolbuilding, and I finished my full-time
teaching career teaching college English courses to students in your dual
enrollment programwith OUZ.
In my 31 years as a teacher, I never enjoyed myself morethan I did working
right here in this building. The students and I studied writing, poetry, and drama.
I will always remember their intelligence, kindness, wit, and enthusiasmfor
learning and life. They renewed my hope in the future!
Today, instead of giving you a speech organized like a 5-paragraph theme, I
am going to sharewith you ten valuable lessons I havelearned in my 55 years on
planet Earth. Think of this speech as a bulleted list, and you will be able to follow
along.
1. Enjoy the simple pleasures in life: a Donald’s donut, a visitwith loved
ones, a road trip—the list is endless. You don’t have to take a picture of
these events. Nor do you need to tweet them or snap chat them. Just
enjoy them!
2. Measuresuccess in your own way. Trying to keep up with a working
fool will only make a fool out of you. Work hard, get the job done well,
and then go home and enjoy the restof your life.
3. Recognize the differencebetween whatyou wantand what you need.
This can saveyou a lot of money. I might want a new van complete with
heated leather seats and a sunroof, butI need the paid-for, ten-year-old

3. van that got me here. My wife and I havethree kids to put through
college, and thus I am wiseto limit whatI want while making sureI have
what I need.
4. If you can’t afford something, then don’t buy it. Excessivedebt brings
misery as a sidekick.
5. Do not be in a hurry to get married. Make sureyou can take care of
yourself beforetaking on responsibility for others. If you are already
married, then congratulations. You will be giving money to your
children and grandchildren when you get to be my age!
6. If you want to get ahead at work, justbewilling to do the things that
other workers do notwant to do. That will get the boss’s attention.
7. Find time to do nothing. Justsit for a while, even if only for five minutes
a day. Meditate, pray, takea shortnap. The wholeworld needs to chill
out. Do your part!
8. Laugh regularly. Laugh until you cry and your stomach hurts. Medical
science has proven that this is a good thing. When you are done
laughing, then laugh somemore.
9. Celebrate peace wherever you may find it. Right now we are at peace
here while millions of people in our world live in war zones.
10. Try to find a comfortablebalance among all your responsibilities in life.
This is hard to do in today’s fast-paced, global world. We tend to cram
too much into each day, and the results often lead to excessivestress
and poor decision making.
I consider myself to be a recovering workaholic. Along the way, I have
learned how to make time for my job while not sacrificing quality time with my

4. family. That said, on Thursday I managed to attend my boys’ soccer game
wearing two different shoes.
I was running late through no real fault of my own, but still I was running
late. The boys were waiting in the van for me to take them to the game. I
reached into my closet to grab my tennis shoes, I ran to the van, tossed the shoes
in the side door, and then I drovebarefooted to the soccer field.
We arrived, the boys got out to go find their team. I slid the van door open,
and there they were: a casualleft shoe and a right tennis shoe.
I put them on and went to the game. Of course, I had to deal with a fair
amount of ribbing.
“Nice shoes!”
“I’llbet you have a pair justlife that at home.” And so on. I took the
teasing in stride, figuring I deserved it.
But then as I stared at my shoes, I discovered thatI might be onto
something. I was half-prepared to walk and half prepared to run!
Here is how that works: [I demonstratedawalk that was half walking and
half running.]
Left foot casual, right foot run.
Walk. Run!
Walk. Run!
Walk. Run!

5. My point? Things don’t always go as planned, so be prepared to adapt.
Much of life is about adapting to the unexpected. You already know that, and
that’s not going to change.
I would like to close by offering you my definition of wealth: if you have
food, shelter, a job, a few people who love you, affordablehealth insurance, and
no one fired a gun at you as you droveto this ceremony, then you are already
wealthy. Anything else you acquirewill justbe adding on to an already good
thing.
Graduates, I wish you the best of fortuneand long, peaceful lives.
As the Monty Python crew once sang, “Always look on the bright side of
life…”
Thank you very much.