Everyone assumes adoption is in the best interest of children. Is it? 

In whose best interest are fraudulent birth certificates? 

Are there sufficient regulations and enforceable guidelines in place to eliminate corruption, commodification, exploitation, coercion and conflict of interest? 

How much does money play a part? 

Discussion of ethical issues with a focus on payments of expenses and conflict of interest in legal counsel for relinquishing mothers within the U.S. 

Suggested solutions to prevent scamming of prospective adopters and coercion expectant mothers which can cause contested adoptions which are lengthy and costly for all parties. 



1. Ensuring Ethical Practice
in Child Adoption:
A Guide for Legislators, Practitioners and
Consumers of Adoption Services
Mirah Riben
Revised and updated for
The Evolution of Adoption Practice:
Activist and Community Perspectives,
Adoption Initiative Biennial Conference 2020/2022,
St. John's University in Collaboration with Montclair State University

2. Earlier versions presented by Mirah Riben at:
Adoption Ethics and Accountability, Evan B.
Donaldson Adoption Institute and Ethica, Inc.,
Arlington, Va., 2007
 Adoption Law Institute, Adoption Law Institute, PLI
New York Center, NY, 2009
 Open Arms, Open Minds: The Ethics of Adoption In
The 21st Century Conference, St. Johns University,
NY, 2010
 Defining Ethics in Domestic and Global Adoption
Practice, Open Arms, Open Minds; The ethics of
Adoption in the 21sr Century, 2010

3. Mirah Riben has been
researching adoption
since 1980.
She is author of two
books and more
than two hundred
fifty articles.
Her works are cited in more
than eighty books, professional
journals, articles, and theses.

5. “It is imperative that
professionals working in adoption
act ethically to ensure the rights
of all the involved parties at all
points in the process.”1 1
Child Welfare Information Gateway
ChildWelfare.gov

6. Maureen Hogan, Executive Director, National Adoption
Foundation in Pertman, Adoption Nation: How The Adoption
Revolution Is Transforming America 193 (2000).
“People assume that adoption is a
benevolent, philanthropic response to
the needs of orphans,
but it’s not always.
In some ways, it’s just another giant
industry in which people see a way to
get rich.”

7. Is the purpose of adoption
to find homes for children
in need or to fill a demand
for babies?

8. * Article 7, U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child; Troxel v. Granville, 530
U.S. 57 (2000); Meyer v. Nebraska, (1923); Pierce v. Society of Sisters, (1925),
Prince v. Massachusetts, (1944); Stanley v. Illinois, (1972); Wisconsin v. Yoder,
(1972) ; Quilloin v. Walcott, (1978) ; Parham v. J. R., (1979); Santosky v.
Kramer, (1982)

9. In order to protect all of the
parties to adoption, including
disenfranchised minors, the indigent
and vulnerable . . .
the following changes in practice
must be established and enforced:

10. EVERY ADOPTION
Domestic, Transnational, Private,
Step-Parent, Independent and State:
 Must ensure there is no coercion, pressure
or exploitation of poverty, age, illiteracy,
language, or misunderstanding of the
permanency of adoption.
Must ensure the best interests of the child
are primary by appointing a guardian ad
litem to represent the child and their best
interest.

11. 1. Claims of orphan status must be verified via
proof of death of both parents.
2. Claims of abandonment must be verified.
3. All efforts must be made to locate extended
family members and they must be provided
resources needed to care for their kin.
4. All efforts must be made to find in-country
placements. Out-of-country placements
should be a last resort.
5. Out of country adopters must be made
aware they need to file for the citizenship of
adopted children to avoid deportation.
Transnational Adoptions:

12. DOMESTIC
INFANT ADOPTIONS:
 Privatized
 Entrepreneurial
 Not-for-profit and non-profit
are tax status

13. Elizabeth Samuels, Time To Decide? The Laws Governing Mothers’
Consents To The Adoption of Their Newborn Infants. 2005, Tenn. Law
Review.
“Infant adoptions in the United States are
arranged primarily by private agencies and
independent facilitators . . . characterized by
high fees, demand for children that outstrips
available supply, and marketing aimed both
at prospective adopters and pregnant women
who might consider placing their infants for
adoption . . .”

15. Realtors must complete ethics training and
are bound by an eleven-page National
Realtor Code of Ethics and Standards.
Businesses from restaurants to nail salons
are bound by codes and regulations
to protect the clientele they serve.
They are regulated, subject to inspections,
and can be closed for violations.

16. Yet anyone, with no legal or social
work education, training, or
certification can arrange adoptions
with no oversight and no enforceable
code of ethics.

17. Is the permanent transfer of child
custody less important than the
transfer of real estate?
Who will create ethical standards of
decency and protection in adoption
practice?
Who will enforce them?

18. Every adoption in America
– including step-parent adoptions –
eradicates the adoptee’s truth of birth
and heredity by sealing the original
birth certificate and issuing a
fraudulent certificate “of birth”
that claims the adoptee was born to
biological strangers.

19. ALL states* either deny adult
adoptees access to their original,
authentic vital records or have
restrictions to access - such as
disclosure vetoes - that do not apply
to non-adoptees.
*FOR STATE LAWS SEE:
https://americanadoptioncongress.org/state.php
http://bastards.org/state-adoption-disclosure-laws-at-a-glance/

20. How is it ethical
for states to commit fraud?
How is it in the adoptees’ best
interest to put their health and that
of their offspring at risk by not
knowing their genetic truth and
medical history in a day and age
when openness and honesty in
adoption is encouraged?
In whose best interest is it?

21. PAYMENT of FEES

22. “Adoption experts concur that
we need to transform...adoption...
into a social service in which payments
by adoptive parents play no part.”
Elizabeth Samuels, Time To Decide? The Laws Governing Mothers’
Consents To The Adoption of Their Newborn Infants. 2005,
Tenn. Law Review., 509:

23. The prospective adopter “is . . . the
primary, if not exclusive
‘client’ because he or she
is paying the fee for the services.”
Madelyn Freundlich, director of the Policy Dept. of Children’s
Rights, a national advocacy organization for children in government
custody, quoted in “Time to Decide” by Elizabeth Samuels:

24. Fees for legal representation of
BOTH relinquishing
and adopting parties
are routinely paid by those
planning to adopt.
This constitutes dual representation of
parties who have separate, and
potentially conflicting, interests.

25. “The research on ethics in adoption
shows that adoption,
more than any other human service,
is rife with conflict of interest . . .”
L. Anne Babb, author, Ethics in American Adoption (1999)

26. “To what extent do prospective
adoptive parents’ expenditures to
cover a birth mother’s medical . . .
or other living expenses create a
sense of indebtedness that may
affect her decision-making?”
(continued)
Madelyn Freundlich, MSW, MPH, JD, LL.M, author and
independent child welfare consultant in New York City:

27. “Does a birth mother ultimately
‘owe’ it to the prospective
adoptive parents to follow
through on an adoption because
a good deal of money has been
expended . . . ?”

28. Dual representation violates the ABA
Rules of Professional Conduct
Attorneys are put in a bind when prospective
adopters, their attorney, facilitator, or
adoption agencies, who have a stake in the
completion of the adoption, recommend,
suggest, or pay attorney fees to represent
the relinquishing parent(s).

29. American Bar Association Rule 1.7:
Conflict of Interest:
(a) a lawyer shall not represent a client if the representation
involves a concurrent conflict of interest. A concurrent conflict
of interest exists if:
(1) the representation of one client will be directly adverse to
another client; or
(2) there is a significant risk that the representation of one or more clients
will be materially limited by the lawyer's responsibilities to another client, a
former client or a third person or by a personal interest of the lawyer.
(b) Notwithstanding the existence of a concurrent conflict of interest under
paragraph (a), a lawyer may represent a client if:
(1) the lawyer reasonably believes that the lawyer will be able to provide
competent and diligent representation to each affected client;
(2) the representation is not prohibited by law;
(3) the representation does not involve the assertion of a claim by one client
against another client represented by the lawyer in the same litigation or
other proceeding before a tribunal; and
(4) each affected client gives informed consent, confirmed in writing.

30. “This practice of dual
representation raises acute
ethical and practical concerns.”
Susan Smith, “Safeguarding The Rights and Well Being of
Birthparents In The Adoption Process,” The Evan B. Donaldson
Adoption Institute report 2006:

31. “The adoption field itself
remains such a legal gray area
that it tests the ethical limits of
the attorneys who specialize in
it.”
New York Law Journal 11/11/09
https://www.law.com/almID/1202435338397/

32. “Professionals have yet to develop
uniform ethical standards in adoption
or to make meaningful attempts to
monitor their own profession.”
L. Anne Babb, author, Ethics in American Adoption (1999)

33. ADDITIONAL ETHICAL
GUIDELINES
Necessary in Domestic
Infant Adoptions

34. 1. Ensure there is no coercion, pressure or
exploitation of poverty, age, illiteracy,
language, or misunderstanding of the
permanency of adoption.
2. No expectant mother moved out of state
for the purpose of adoption.
3. No expectant mother encouraged to
conceal the father’s identity. Efforts must be
made to locate father for consent.

35. 4. NO PUTATIVE FATHER
REGISTRIES
Because it is in the child’s best interest to
know who their father is,
DNA test results should be sufficient to
establish paternity.

36. 5. Judges must ensure that relinquishing
parents are aware that adoption does not
guarantee a “better life”.
Adoptive parents die, divorce, go bankrupt,
terminate adoptions, abandon, rehome,2
abuse3 and have killed children in their care.
Adopted children have been burnt, starved,
and caged by those entrusted with their
care.

37. 2/25/22
2/24/22

38. 2/11/22

39. • The trauma caused by
maternal-child separation
that can result in permanent
neurologic damage4 to the
child as well as feelings of
abandonment/rejection, and
• Lifelong unresolvable grief
suffered by mothers who
relinquish
6. There needs to be judicial verification of
full disclosure to both relinquishing and
adopting parents of:

40. 7. Full disclosure, verified by a
judge, that both relinquishing and
adopting parents are aware
that adoptees of all ages
– even those adopted at birth–
are over-represented in
mental health and substance
abuse treatment facilities5,6,7
and have a four times higher
rate of attempted suicide
than non-adoptees.8

41. 8. NO PRE-BIRTH CONSENTS
After initial meeting, no contact between
expectant mothers and prospective adopters
until after the birth, relinquishment, and
revocation period to eliminate feelings of
indebtedness, obligation, or pressure which
can be interpreted as coercion, and can thus
cause a contested adoption.
This would also eliminate false hope and
expectations for prospective adopters.

42. 9. All states should mandate a minimum of
two weeks post-birth with postpartum
mothers encouraged to see, hold and
breastfeed their babies before
relinquishment or placement. (It’s considered
inhumane to separate puppies and kittens
prior to four weeks.)
10. Standard practice in all states should
include a thirty-day revocation period after
relinquishment is signed with liberal and
unrestricted visitation.

43. 11. In order to eliminate even the
appearance of exploitation or
coercion, expenses should NEVER be
allowed to be paid or offered as a
gift directly from prospective
adopters to expectant mothers.
Housing and medical bills paid by
Medicaid and WIC.
Any additional expenses paid from a
state pool.

45.  Guardian ad litem for the infant or child;
and
 Impartial third-party option and resource
counseling for parents considering
relinquishment with an emphasis on
finding mother/child foster care and/or
family-centric substance abuse
treatment if needed; and
 Legal representation provided by neutral
third party for every relinquishing
parent.

46. 13. Until all states set up a pool for
expenses, prospective adopters must be
made aware that any hint, suggestion or
implication of repayment of expenses paid
to expectant moms if they do not proceed
with adoption, can be adjudged coercion
and result in a contested or revoked
adoption, and risk of criminal charges for
extortion and/or attempted baby buying.

47. 14. Judges must verify “open adoption” is
explained clearly, thoroughly and in detail,
and relinquishing parents are made aware
that:
 They are relinquishing ALL parental
rights, and that
 There is no enforcement of any post
adoption contact agreements.

48. Do we not need a federal agency to
oversee state adoption laws?
Why is the only involvement of our federal
government in adoption,
to provide a federal tax credit to adopters . . .
A tax credit that was intended to encourage
the adoption of children in state care but is
now used for infant and transnational
adoptions which need no encouragement?

50. Legislators, Practitioners and
Consumers of Adoption
Services:
 MUST speak up and DEMAND
accountability.
 Silence is duplicity or complicity.
INNOCENT CHILDREN DESERVE NO LESS.

51. This slide show, with all notes, reference
and resources is available at:
 https://www.slideshare.net/MirahRib
enAuthor/
 https://mirahriben.blogspot.com
Presentation Tab
Or contact:
MirahMirah@Gmail.com

52. END NOTES:
1. (Slide # 5 )Child Welfare, Ethical Issues in Adoption.
https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adopt-ethics/
2. (Slide # 36) Americans use the Internet to Abandon Children Adopted from Overseas
https://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1
3. (Slides # 37-38) The 10 news articles depicted abuse by adoptive parents all appeared in
approximately a 30-day period between mid-February and mid-March of 2022 while I was
preparing this presentation
4. (Slide # 39) How Mother-Child Separation Causes Neurobiological Vulnerability Into
Adulthood https://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/observer/obsonline /how-
mother-child-separation-causes-neurobiological-vulnerability-into-adulthood.html
5. (Slide # 40) Bohl and Marich, Relinquishment and Addiction: What Trauma Has to do with
it. https://davidbbohl.com/relinquishment-and-addiction/
6. Sunderland, Paul. Lecture on Adoption. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3pX4C-mtiI
7. Kaplan, Adoption and Mental Illness
https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/adoption-and-mental-illness
8. Keyes, et al. Risk of Suicide Attempt in Adopted and Nonadopted Offspring
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC3784288/

53. RESOURCES

54. • Adoptees "Flip the Script" on National Adoption Month;.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTGzZboJCAU
• AmericanAdoptions. Adoptee Issues: The Impact of Adoption
Trauma, Loss and More
https://www.americanadoptions.com/adoption/adoption-issues-
adults
• APS, How Mother-Child Separation Causes Neurobiological
Vulnerability into Adulthood
https://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/observer/obsonlin
e/how-mother-child-separation-causes-neurobiological-vulnerability-
into-adulthood.html
• Bohl, David and Jamie March. Relinquishment and Addiction: What
Trauma Has to Do With
It. https://www.amazon.com/Relinquishment-Addiction-What-
Trauma-Has-ebook/dp/B09NZ37CX6
• Evolve Treatment Centers, The Effect of Early Trauma on Adopted
Adolescents https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/early-trauma-
adopted-teens/

55. • Johnson, Vicci Una. Trauma, Trust, and Academic Achievement Stories
Shared by High School Dropouts.
https://digitalcommons.hamline.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=5499&c
ontext=hse_all
• Maté, Dr. Gbaor and Zara Phillips. The Trauma of Relinquishment -
Adoption, Addiction and Beyond, video of panel with world-leading
trauma and addiction expert.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CW_GdFG1KY
• PACT. Grief and Loss in Adoption: Best articles, essays, videos.
https://www.pactadopt.org/resources/grief-and-loss-in-adoption.html
• Riben, Mirah. Ethical issues in American Infant Adoption.
https://mirahmirah.medium.com/ethical-issues-in-america-infant-adoption-
8b4f0d826830
• Riben, Mirah. Adoption-Related Trauma and Moral Injury
https://mirahmirah.medium.com/adoption-related-trauma-and-moral-injury-
c3efcef1b529
• Riben, Mirah. The Lifelong Trauma of Adoption Relinquishment
https://mirahmirah.medium.com/the-lifelong-trauma-of-adoption-
relinquishment-352482208d25

56. • Robinson, Evelyn Burns, Adoption & Loss: The Hidden Grief.
https://www.amazon.com/Adoption-Loss-Hidden-Grief-
Revised/dp/0646435329
• Rosetta, Meg, Lutheran Family & Children Services. Grief and Loss
in Adoption. https://lfcsmo.org/grief-and-loss-in-adoption/
• Samuels, Elizabeth. Time to Decide? The Laws Governing Mothers'
Consents to the Adoption of Their Newborn Infants
https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=84358
• Samuels, Elizabeth: Surrender and Subordination: Birth Mothers and
Adoption Law Reform, Michigan Journal of Gender & Law, Vol.
20 , Iss. 1 (2013)
https://repository.law.umich.edu/mjgl/vol20/iss1/2/
• Sunderland, Paul. Lecture on Adoption - YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3pX4C-mtiI&t=1587s
• Verrier, Nancy. The Primal. http://nancyverrier.com/the-primal-wound/

57. See Mirah Riben on:
 https://tinyurl.com/riben-goolescholar
 https://wikitia.com/wiki/Mirah_Riben
 https://en.everybodywiki.com/Mirah_Riben
 MirahRiben.blogspot.com
 Mirah on Twitter @MirahRiben
 linkedin.com/in/mirah-riben-89040519/
Revised 3/24/22