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Bullying and the suicide option solution, Rob Gallardo
1. Breaking-point Bullying
and the increasing popularity of
The Suicide “Solution”
Recognizing populations
most at risk
Rob Gallardo, CI/PS – Director
Operation No Gangs/Attitudinal Dynamics
www.bullyfree-itsuptome.org
2. Suicide - The “American Way”
Kurt Cobain (Nirvana) suicide –
re-awakened the country 1994
Dylan Klebold Columbine HS
Eric Harris 4/20/99
3. Bryan's story:
“I couldn't make it. I love you.”
16-year-old Andress student
Bullied for being openly homosexual
4. Tyler Clementi -
"Jumping off the gw bridge sorry."
(Facebook)
Cyberbullying – spying on gay roommate,
Webcast broadcasting sexual encounter
5. Drew Ferraro
“... they just didn't like the way he
looked.”
15-year-old Drew Ferraro Running jump from top of school building
6. Ashlynn Conner - 10-year-old
Commits Suicide Because of Bullying
Found hanged in closet, used scarf
Called “fat,” “ugly,” “slut”
Gender-based
Appearance-based
7. Era of Bully-cide
1. Suicide is no longer foreign and taboo.
It is commonly heard about in media.
Now is somewhat “glorified” action.
2. Pressures and social demands of today
appear, to many, greater than at any time
before.
3. Accessibility of firearms and drugs
4. Broadcasted bullying through internet
venues - CYBERBULLYING
9. Purpose of presentation
1. to provide awareness of how bullying can
reach an intolerable breaking point for
particular populations
2. to identify victims most likely bullying
targets
3. to identify individuals most likely bullying
perpetrators
4. to identify typical bullying venues
5. to emphasize that suicide is a winnable
battle
The Suicide Option is avoidable if we are
aware of signs and the phenomena of
bullying and suicide and
are familiar with the
10. For many, the concept is
incomprehensible
For others - a reality or a real
“option” Weighing possible solutions
Insurmountable
issue
x
exa
Adults: Finances mp
Employment Issues les
Marital or other family issues
Mental disturbances, psychological Work it out – but how?
Health issues Stick it out – but how?
Youth: Appearance How do I stop the pain?
Social adroitness issues
Romantic relationship difficulties
Sexual orientation
Bullying
Exiting the insurmountable solution appears most viable route to some
11. Suicide profile data – accomplished
suicide
Middle-aged men 25 – 54
Senior adults 80+
Native American men
Middle-aged women 45—54
First responders
LGBT questioning adolescents aged 18- 24
Returning war veterans
Young Texans
Suicide = 3rd leading cause of death
2nd leading cause of death for college-age
youth
Men 3x Women
12. Phenomenon of Suicide – “option”
gaining popularity
100 suicides
committed each day
in the United States
13. The copy-cat phenomenon
1. the highlight gives sense of prevalence
2. those considering temporarily empowered
14. Perception of “insurmountable
battle”
Middle-aged Older Native Middle- First LGBT
Men Seniors American aged Responders/ adolescents
Men Women Returning
Veterans
Stigma of Sense of Stigma of Sense of not PTSD issues Bullying
seeking help burden to seeking help knowing
others which course Psychologica PTSD issues
Sense of failure Isolated of action to l strain of
“Not much culture take work Sense of
Inability to wait left to live for (bridging abnormality
out solutions anyway” difficulties) Sense of Often sense
due to hopelessnes of futility, Limited
perceived s powerlessnes network of
seriousness s understanding
individuals
Limited
network of Isolation/
understanding Ostracism
individuals
Sense of hopelessness
15. What really is bullying?
Bullying is the activity of repeated, aggressive
behavior intended to hurt another person,
physically or mentally.
Bullying is characterized by an individual
behaving in a certain way to gain power
over another person.
Bullying can be non-
verbal: a look, a facial
expression,
a movement,
a gaze or stare
16. Bullying Subjects or Issues
that can lead to suicide option
selection
ISSUE Typical Examples Possible reasons why
clarification non-acceptance
Presumed sexual orientation Culture of Machismo
Urban Thug media idealization
Religious upbringing
Cultural upbringing
BMI: Obesity, thinness, Media-perfect people
deformity, physical height imagery popularity
Smartness/“nerdiness” Cool and with-it people
Perceived mental “slowness” imagery popularity
Other appearance issues Hairstyles Tattoos “That's just weird ...”
Makeup use Pigmentation
Clothing/style choices
Social maladroitness - “an odd The “goofy” one Cool and with-it people
one” The “airhead” imagery popularity
The intentional “loner” Culture of Machismo
Ethnicity, nationality, religion Mixed nationality origin Cultural upbringing
Recent immigrants Fear of terrorism or cultural
Recent Middle-East tension changes to national landscape
Associations, activities Male cheerleader Cultural upbringing
17. Killing Power of Words
Power of Body Language
Words are like poison bullets
70% of communication is non-verbal
“Retard!”
“So “OH! It's
unc Ms. Goodie
oo l!” Two-shoes”
20. Who is most typically picked on?
The chubby kid
The skinny kid
The “nerd”
“The 'gay' dude”
The mentally challenged
child
The recent immigrant
“That kid from the Middle
East”
“That kid who always talks to
himself and keeps to
himself”
21. Victim pre-disposition red flags
There are often conditions which tend to pre-
dispose a child to bullying victimization
– the withdrawn or aloof child
– the “quiet” or non-assertive child
– a child who is “different” from peers (stands
out in style, appearance, capability,
activities)
– child who is patently insecure (self-esteem
consideration)
– the “indefensible” child in a group of much
physically or psychically stronger peers
22. Where does bullying in schools most
typically take place?
On the school bus
At lunch in cafeteria
During recess playtime
In hallways during
transitions
During physical
education
classtime activities
After-school departure
23. Who is the typical bullying
perpetrator?
Most physical bullying reports – MALE
perpetrators
Increasing # female group tauntings
- carries self in brash wordings and actions,
careless in word
-larger, stronger or more verbally-adept
- leader of weaker peers, leader of outcasts or
middle-of-the-roaders
- often pre-branded or historically observed as
“troublemaker” in other settings
24. Typical bully behavior
NEEDS AN AUDIENCE in which to carry out his
bullying endeavors
MODUS OPERANDI is often sniping (off-cuff)
remarks with a sting
- seeks opportunities to intimidate in front of
others so as to create imbalance of power
- When perceives assured indefensibility or
when enraged, may progress to physical
aggression
26. Universal need for acceptance and
dignity
TOLERANCE
People want to feel loved and needed
Don't have to like everyone, but we MUST
RESPECT EVERYONE
27. The LGBT population
Gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth are two to
three times more likely to attempt suicide
than their heterosexual counterparts.
30% of suicides are committed by LGBT youth
(in some communities)
Culture
28. Reaching the “breaking point”
Everyone has a limit
Everyone has personal hurts and emotional
triggers
r
vato
Pushed to the edge
ra
Agg
29. Suicide “perfect storm”
The storm warnings are very clear – How can
we miss them?
Sense of highly
Sense of loss
Confusion Limited
of control
Support network
Sense of
Loss of dignity “no viable
resolution options”
Aggravator Aggravator
Drug or Mental disorder
Alcohol
Use
30. When we see the signs ...
We are civilly and morally obligated to
protect and prevent
31. Challenge
1. Be mindful of those most at risk of bullying.
2. Be mindful of those who are like
perpetrators.
3. Encourage a culture of awareness and
tolerance.
4. Insist on zero-tolerance of bullying.
5. Ensure that a wrap-around is provided for
possible
suicide risk-takers
6. Don't sit back and wait for a tragedy to
happen.
32.
33. Breaking-point Bullying
and the increasing popularity of
The Suicide “Solution”
Recognizing populations
most at risk
Rob Gallardo, CI/PS – Director
Operation No Gangs/Attitudinal Dynamics
www.bullyfree-itsuptome.org
