1. Where Are They Now?
By
Patrick Howard
(816)-225-4406
dhoward2@stevenson.edu
101 Campus Circle
Owings Mills, MD
21117

2. INT. WHERE ARE THEY NOW? STUDIO - DAY
A giant "Where Are They Now?" logo hangs in the background
of a blacked out room.
The host of ’Where Are They Now?’ MARSHALL LAUDER, well
dressed, devishly handsome, walks in.
MARSHALL LAUDER
Hello, everyone, my name is
Marshall Lauder; and this is "Where
Are They Now?". Now let’s go back
to the 1973 Hell’s Angels Rock ’n
Roll Extravaganza in New York
state. The roars of 60,000
spectators filled the warm night
air. And on the stage was a man,
not even in his mid-twenties, with
his hands raised to the crowd, as
if he were absorbing the palpable
energy emitting from his adoring
fans. This man was rock ’n roll
legend, Rip Steel.
Marshall Lauder signals to his left. A picture of RIP STEEL,
early 20s, long hair, yelling into a microphone, appears.
CUT TO:
CHILDHOOD SLIDESHOW
MARSHALL LAUDER (V0)
Born Millsworth Harklinski III on
June 15, 1952, Rip Steel grew up on
a simple pig farm in Boise, Idaho.
At a very young age, Rip’s only
passions were rock music and a
unhealthy amount of Billy Wilder
movies.
A picture of Rip Steel and Billy Wilder movies appears.
MARSHALL LAUDER
(softly)
Wow! Truly disturbing stuff. After
his first two albums went platinum
within two weeks of each other,
Rip’s fame skyrocketed. Now a man
who was raised in a nice Jewish
household wouldn’t possibly let
this fame and fortune go to his
head.
(deep chuckle, deep inhale)
He did.

3. 2.
INT. RIP STEEL’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Rip Steel,wearing a cashmere sweater, sits in an overly
expensive love seat .
1978 Interview: Rip Steel
RIP STEEL
(pretentious, on and off
British accent)
I wouldn’t call myself a rock ’n
roll god among men... but I’m
certainly open to the idea. If you
were to do a line up of the
greatest rock stars currently alive
starting from complete jackass to
living legend, it’d be Paul
McCartney, Bob Dylan, myself,
Johnny Cash, and then myself again
because...
points to himself and smiles.
... I mean come on.
MARSHALL LAUDER (V0)
In 1981, Rip Steel moved from the
sweet sound of music to the
titillating visuals of movies and
collaborated with former porn
director Rick Shaftley and released
Exsul van Helden and the Curse of
the Black Skull.
CUT TO FOOTAGE.
Footage shows Rip Steel as EXSUL VAN HELDEN, daring Indiana
Jones inspired archeologist, on a perilous hunt for the
BLACK SKULL.
INT. RICK SHAFTELY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
RICK SHAFTELY, 30s, always moist, sits in his asian imported
couch and speaks a mile a minute.
1987 Interview: Rick Shaftely
RICK SHAFTELY
I tell you that Rip Steel kid was
always a professional on set. Even
when I was completely coked out of
my mind and sword fighting rainbow
unicorns, he still managed to keep
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

4. CONTINUED: 3.
RICK SHAFTELY (cont’d)
the crew on task and me away from
sharp objects. Now I don’t think
I’m exaggerating too much when I
say that Rip Steel’s passion for
this film was as exhilarating as
doing lines of coke with 12
prostitutes while skinny dipping in
a jacuzzi!
CUT TO TELEVISION STATIC.
INT. WHERE ARE THEY NOW? STUDIO - DAY
MARSHALL LAUDER
Despite being a complete ripoff of
Raiders of the Lost Ark, the film
did surprisingly well in the box
office. It seemed like nothing
could possibly bring Rip Steel
down.
(beat)
Then the meltdown happened.
INT. STUDIO HALLWAY - DAY
An unseen reporter holds a microphone to Rick Shaftely.
RICK SHAFTELY
Yeah, so right now, we’re shooting
a very crucial scene in the movie.
Its been emotionally challenging
for Rick, so I’m trying my best to
keep him in a good mood; otherwise
he’ll-
RIP STEEL (O.S)
What the fuck?!
Faint yelling and screaming comes from inside the set. Rick
Shaftely and the cameraman dash to the set’s big oak doors.
RICK SHAFTELY
Rip?!
Rick Shaftely and the cameraman burst through the doors and
find...

5. 4.
INT. STUDIO SET - CONTINUOUS
Numerous crew members stand around watching Rip Steel,
dressed as Exsul van Helden, swearing up a storm at this
helpless PRODUCER holding a ROLL OF TAPE.
RIP STEEL
What the fuck is wrong with you?
PRODUCER
I don’t know. I-
RIP STEEL
What do you mean you don’t fucking
know? I want you off the fucking
set you fucking bitch! You don’t
think it’s fucking distracting to
walk into the fucking shot like la
te dah te dah with a stupid punk
ass roll of fucking masking tape!
PRODUCER
(stammering)
Well, I saw there was a tear in the
set and I wanted to feel useful.
RIP STEEL
Oh, how good for you! How does it
look now?!
PRODUCER
It looks pretty good.
RIP STEEL
I hope it looks good because it
fucking useless now!
PRODUCER
Look, Mr. Steel-
RIP STEEL
No, you look! You’re a nice person,
I’m sure you’re a nice person, but
I don’t fucking like it when you
fucking fuck around like this on
the fucking set with that
motherfucking, fuckass, jagoff,
shitface roll of ducttape!
The producer is speechless.

6. 5.
INT. STUDIO HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
The same producer cries her eyes out in a corner.
PRODUCER
(crying hysterically)
I don’t know what I did wrong. I
know I’m a just a producer, but I
can be useful on set. I can bring
snacks or help fix something with
my ducttape.
Rip Steel ambushes the producer.
RIP STEEL
And here’s another thing I have to
say about your fucking roll of
tape!
CUT TO TELEVISION STATIC.
INT. VARIOUS TALK SHOWS - DAY
A montage of talk shows shows Rip Steel jumping up and down
on the couch like a wilder Tom Cruise and screaming
obscenities at the host and other guests.
MARSHALL LAUDER (V0)
That horrendous rant about ducttape
was just the beginning of Rip
Steel’s downfall. Rip’s bad
behavior followed him wherever he
went. He was a constant disturbance
on talk shows and his once managed
drinking habit quickly spiraled out
of control.
EXT. EMPTY CITY SIDEWALK - DAY
An FAN confronts a drunk Rip Steel on the sidewalk asking
for a autograph. Rip Steel grabs the autograph book and
chucks it.
MARSHALL LAUDER (V0) (CONT’D)
After only a few months, Rip
eventually lost favor with the
entire entertainment industry and
then his fans.

7. 6.
EXT. REHABILITATION CENTER - DAY
Via outside security camera, two GUARDS drag Rip Steel into
a REHABILITATION CENTER.
MARSHALL LAUDER (V0)
Steel’s behavior became so bad that
the state of California forced him
to attend 10 months worth of AA
meetings.
RIP STEEL
(distant)
You fuckers can’t hold me!
MARSHALL LAUDER (V0)
After those 10 months, Rip Steel
was released a sober man...
Rip Steel walks out of the rehabilitation center.
RIP STEEL
See you later fuckers!
Beat.
MARSHALL LAUDER (V0)
...only to be reemitted the next
day.
Rip Steel walks back to the rehabilitation center tossing a
beer can to the side.
RIP STEEL
I’m back fuckers!
INT. WHERE ARE THEY NOW? STUDIO - DAY
MARSHALL LAUDER
What’s weird is after the failed
attempt at rehab, Rip Steel seemed
to disappear off the face of the
Earth. Wouldn’t it be great to meet
Mr. Steel again and ask him where
he is in his life now?
(beat)
You know what. Let’s do just that.
Marshall Lauder smiles sincerely and walks off the set.

8. 7.
INT. WHERE ARE THEY NOW? INTERVIEW - DAY
Marshall Lauder walks in and sits down.
MARSHALL LAUDER
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to
you Rip Steel.
Marshall Lauder gestures to Rip Steel. He looks harsh and
worn down with a snooty look on his face.
MARSHALL LAUDER (cont’d)
Mr. Steel, I realize it was very
hard to find you and when we did
you threatened to burn the studio
to the ground, if this was a
lengthy interview.
Rip Steel nods in agreement.
MARSHALL LAUDER (cont’d)
So let me ask you one question:
After all the hell and controversy,
where do you think you are in your
life?
RIP STEEL
(hopeful)
Well, Marshall, I think I’ve really
made a lot of progress. I’m
currently seeing a therapist and I
haven’t had an episode in five
years. As long as I don’t come face
to face with my trigger, I’ll be-
Rip Steel looks off screen.
RIP STEEL (cont’d)
(furious)
What the fuck is she doing here?
The same producer from the infamous meltdown stands behind
camera still holding the same roll of ducttape.
PRODUCER
Oh shit.
CUT TO BLACK.