Chapter2 PowerPoint for Interpersonal Communication

1. Communication
and Personal Identity

2. The Development of Self
Defintion:
•The self is a complicated, multidimensional process.
•The self arises in communication with others.
•Who we are and aren’t determined by interactions with
others from the beginning to end of our life's.
1)We develop images both positive and negative, based
communicated messages.
2)Particular “others” – People are significant to us. Most
influential in helping us develop our self.

3. The Development
of the Self Concept
Definition: Particular people who are
significant to us provide.
1) Direct definition
2) Reflected appraisal
3) Identity scripts
4) Attachment styles

4. The Development of Self
• Family members are generally the first
influence on the development of the self.
Most Influential is:
- Perspective of particular others (family
members, relatives, religious leaders,
teachers)
- Perspective of the generalized other
(cultural aspects)

5. The Development of Self
1) Direct Definitions: Communication that tells us explicitly who we are by:
•Labeling us and our behaviors. (Who we are and how we should be.)
•Positive messages enhance the self.
•Negative messages demolish sense of self.
•What others value in us influences behavior over the long term.
Diversity:
•Racial and ethnic identity important for child’s understanding to have
pride in their traditions.

6. The Development of Self
2) Reflected appraisal – Our perception of another’s view of us.
They provide a mirror for us – We will often act how people act
toward us.
If others communicate we are smart, we are likely to reflect appraisal
in how we act and think of ourselves.
Peers, if we are close to to them, will affect how we see ourselves.
(Pg. 43 in text)
Summary of reflected and direct definitions:
Expressed view of us can elevate or lower our self concept.
Interactions with family and friends can help us be our best.

7. The Development of Self
1.Uppers communicate positively about us and reflect
positive appraisals of our value as individuals. (accept us for
who we are.)
2.Downers communicate negative evaluation of us and our
self worth. Focus on our flaws, problems, and put down our
dreams and goals.
3. Vultures are extreme downers. (Beyond negative
evaluations and attacks on self worth) They attack and tear
us down – prey on our weaknesses (like a true vulture) – Not
our friend!
Q: Who are these people and how they make you feel.
We have a choices - settings and people who will
help us achieve our goals.

8. Debbie Downer’s
Theme Song Lyrics
•"You're enjoying your day, everything's going
your way, when along comes Debbie Downer.
•Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease,
a car accident, or killer bees. You beg her to
spare you, 'Debbie, please!' but you can't stop
Debbie Downer!"

9. The Development of Self
3) Identity Scripts - Rules for living and identity.
Scripts define our roles, how are to play & relate to others.
Psychologists believe that basic identity scripts for our lives are
formed by age five.
Parents/caretakers have the power.
Child unconsciously internalize the scripts others write.
Examples:
Our family supports itself
We live by God’s word
We are responsible people
We don’t relate to others who are different
Q: What scripts do you remember?
The Development of Self

10. As adults we can challenge and “Flip the Script”

11. The Development of Self
4) Attachment Styles – Patterns of caregiving that teach
us who are and others are, and how to approach
relationships.

12. • Caregivers communicate how
they see us, others, and
relationships.
• The first bond shapes the
child's expectations for later
relationships.
• How secure we feel in other’s
acceptance and commitment
to us.
• Research conducted in the U.S.
The Development of Self

13. 1) Secure attachment style
 Care taker is consist in providing
attention/love.
 Child develops a positive sense
of self ( I am loveable.)
 Child develops a positive sense of
others
(People are loving and can be trusted.)
 Child can engage in intimacy with others
without depending on the relationship for
self worth.
Most successful relationship are couples
with a secure attachment style.
The Development of Self

14. The Development of Self
2) Fearful attachment style
First bond Caregiver is unavailable/negative, rejecting, and abusive.
Child sees self as unworthy of love.
Child sees others as rejecting.
As adults, tend to be apprehensive
to be close to others.
Adults may avoid others or feel insecure in relationships.
May have less hope, disclose less and have less satisfaction in
relationships.

15. The Development of Self
Lyrics to Unlovable - The Smiths
I wear Black on the outside
'Cause Black is how I feel on the inside
I wear Black on the outside
'Cause Black is how I feel on the inside
And if I seem a little strange
Well, that's because I am
If I seem a little strange
That's because I am

16. The Development of Self
3) The submissive style
•Caregivers who are disinterested and/or
rejecting.
•Child develops self as loveable.
•Child will often reject others as
unworthy.
•Will often develop a defensive view of
relationships and regard them as
unnecessary of undesirable.

17. The Development of Self
4) The Anxious/ambivalent
Preoccupied – Common when
caretaker/parent is an addict, depressed, or
has some other mental challenge.
•Most complex – as not consistent as those
above – (Loving one day, angry or ignoring
the next time.) Causes anxiousness. Person
believes they are unlovable, or deserves to be
rejected.
•As adults, will reflect this approach – Invite
affection – reject closeness

18. How can we
• Modify our attachment style
by challenging disconfirming
self-perceptions.
• Say “no” to bullying from “others”.
• Get help (Talk to someone older, utilize campus
counseling.)
• Form or focus on relationships with others who are
uppers, healthy, and supportive.
• Romantic partners can affect our attachment style.

19. How are social perspectives
of Generalized Others Revealed To Us?
1) We learn them as we interact with others,
who have internalized cultural values and
pass them on to us.
2) We learn them through media and
institutions that reflect cultural values.
3) The institutions that organize our society
communicate them by the values they uphold.

20. Race
 In Western society many form their personal identity based on race.
Historically favored and privileged is the Caucasian or White (Europeans
invented the term to increase solidarity among settlers who were from
different ethnic backgrounds.)
It also was to differentiate themselves from darker skinned people such as
the American Indians.
One drop rule – Established by plantation owners – A person with one drop
of African blood was classified as black.
- The one-drop rule was a tactic in the U.S. South that codified and
strengthened segregation and the disfranchisement of most blacks and many
poor whites from 1890-1910.
- White-dominated legislatures felt free to enact Jim Crow laws segregating
Blacks in public places and accommodations, and passed other restrictive
legislation.
Q: What do you believe about race classification.
Social view of “others”

21. Social view of “others”
 As a nation the author feels we less consumed
with Race, but institutionalized racism exists
and affects people of all colors.
 Institutional racism is any form of racism
occurring specifically within institutions such as
public government bodies, private business
corporations, and universities (public and
private). Institutional racism is one of three
forms of racism: (i) Personally-mediated, (ii)
internalized, and (iii) institutional.

22. Some thoughts from Martin Luther King and
Cesar Chavez (Celebration - March 31)
Martin Luther King
…I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where
they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of
their character…
~ I Have a Dream - August 28, 1963. Washington, D.C.
Cesar E. Chavez
• "Preservation of one's own culture does not require contempt or
disrespect for other cultures."
• "We need to help students and parents cherish and preserve the
ethnic and cultural diversity that nourishes and strengthens this
community - and this nation."
Sources: mlkonline.net;http://www.ufw.org

23. How do you identify yourself?
 Me – Heinz 57 – Because of all the different ethnic backgrounds my
family encompasses.
 Cablinasian – A term made up by Tiger Woods – It is a portmanteau
(combination of two more words)
Caucasian, Black, American-Indian, and Asian, which is his ethnic
make-up of a quarter Chinese, a quarter Thai, a quarter Black, an
eighth Native American and an eighth Dutch.

24. Social view of “others”
Gender
Some others have strong
views of how males/females
are supposed
to act.
Children usually identify
themselves by their sex.
 We learn to “act” in ways
that are passed from our
others, society, and media.
It starts with the color of
blanket.

25. Examples of Stereotypes - Gender
Women:
• Submissive
• Emotional
• Quiet
• Neat/Clean
• Artsy
• A Housewife
• Child rearing
• Good communicators
• Caring
• Supportive
• Cooperative
Q: When women assert themselves or are
competitive what happens?

26. Examples of Stereotypes - Gender
Men:
• Aggressive
• No emotions
• Loud
• Messy
• Athletic
• Math and Science Oriented
• CEO
• Bad communicators
Q: What happens if men go against
their culture/family view of their
gender?

27. A Stereotype of Me
You thought you had me figured out
Before you knew my name
Cause you're you and you're not satisfied
That I am not the same
You'll never change the way I love
And you can fight for you're dominion
But I'm worth a million times the weight
Of a dogmatist's opinion
And I know that all that you can see
Is a stereotype of me
All that you thought I'd ever be
Is a stereotype of me
Did you ever think that you could see me
Past the prejudice you hold
Past the picture you created
And all the things that you were told
You're voice is long since dead to me
I won't even be provoked
When it hurt you to see me smile
The things you said went up in smoke
And I know that all that you can see
Is a stereotype of me
All that you thought I'd ever be
Is a stereotype of me

28. • Socioeconomic Class is the study of the
relationship between economic activity and social
life.
 What need you focus on are affected by your
socioeconomic class.
• How much money you make, what neighborhood
you are from, what schools you go to, what
restaurants you can affords, what type of job you
have, etc.
Q: The author says the U.S. is less rigid about class,
do you agree?
Social view of “others”

29. Sexual Orientation – Another aspect of identity.
•Historically, and today, heterosexuality is viewed by many
•as normal.
•Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, transgender
and intersex people – deal with discrimination.
•Religions, organizations, and states are all
•working toward providing the same rights and benefits as heterosexuals
have.
Headline News
California passes Proposition 8
"Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry" Initiative (2008) (83 millions dollars
spend on campaign – LA Times)
Judge strikes down gay marriage ban in Texas – 2 DAYS AGO
Arizona Veto's Arizona Legislature controversial bill that would allow business owners
to deny service to gay and lesbian customers. - A week ago.
Social view of “others”

30. • Suicide and self-harming are higher for gay/bisexual men.
40.1% reported being physically harassed
• 4.6% of LGBT students reported being verbally harassed,
• 18.8% reported being physically assaulted at school in the
past year because of their sexual orientation.
• 72.4% heard homophobic remarks, such as “gay” "faggot"
or "dyke," frequently or often at school.
• Nearly two-thirds (61.1%) of students reported that they felt
unsafe in school because of their sexual orientation
The above statistics are from the 2009 National School
Climate Survey.
Social view of “others”

31. I AM - Other Perspectives of Self
• The self is multidimensional - Your image, your cognitive self,
The term cognition (Latin: cognoscere, "to know" or "to recognize")
refers to a faculty for the processing of information, applying
knowledge, and changing preferences. Cognition, or cognitive
processes, can be natural or artificial, conscious or unconscious.)
• Also, included is your intelligence and aptitudes(An aptitude is an
innate, acquired or learned or developed component of a competency
(the others being knowledge, understanding and attitude);
• Also, your emotional self concept (sensitive, cynical or upbeat), and
your social self (how you act with others) and moral self (ethical and
spiritual beliefs); and social roles (Professor, daughter, son, worker,
parent, etc.)
• The self is a process – develops and changes over time (books
describes process from child to teenage; similar to Erik Erikson)

32. I AM - Social Perspectives
Social perspectives are subject to change
 Socially constructed views – Are constructed in particular cultures at
different times – We internalize them, especially if isolated or live in a
country that has closed borders, and claim them to be our own.
 Some rules include traffic and criminal law, which are positive
 Others, foster discrimination and suppression of other races, genders,
socioeconomic groups, and more
Examples: Slavery, protecting hunting grounds for the wealthy, discrimination
between different types of families (Single or Gay, or other), no voting rights for
African –Americans or women, Chinese occupied Tibet, women should work
(during WWII; afterwards encouraged to stay home), Proposition 8 (or the
California Marriage Protection Act)passed in the November 2008, state elections. The
measure added a new provision, Section 7.5 of the Declaration of Rights, to the
California Constitution. The new section reads:“ Only marriage between a man and a
woman is valid or recognized in California.[1][2][3]
”and others.
• What are others?

33. I AM - Social Perspectives
• Variable social views – The construed and
arbitrary nature of social values, is more evident
when we consider how widely values differ from
culture to culture, or state to state in the US.
• Gay marriage, abortion rights, the death penalty,
husbands staying at home and taking care of
children, women working, men more emotional,
dance and a free to express themselves.
• Others?

34. You Matter –
Create a self improvement plan
1) Make a firm commitment to personal growth
2) Gain and use knowledge to support personal growth
 Learn to understand how your self-concept was formed.
 How does your race, gender, socioeconomic class, sexual
orientation affect your approach to relating to others?
 Share more with others.
3) Set goals that are realistic and fair for you. No self-sabotage.
4) Seek contexts that support personal change

35. Self-Disclosure – Share more
• Revealing information about ourselves that
others are unlikely to discover on their own

37. I am Poem