Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood - Natdhanai Group
1. Habit 5: Seek First to
Understand, then to be
understood
By: Natdhanai, Reuben, Sorrawee, Kita, Worawat
2. Overview
Most people will want to be understood first and then
understand others later.
Seeing things from other’s point of view can have a
dramatic effect.
Most people will tend to want to be understood first.
3. The Meaning
You need to understand other first before you start
wanting other to understand you.
Listen first, talk second.
Understand other will have a big effect on how you judge
the person.
4. Five Poor Listening Style
Spacing out: Ignore the one talking to us.
Pretend to listen: Pretend to listen to the one speaking,
but actually not listening.
Selective listening: Only listen to some part of the
conversation.
Word listening: Not reading between the line.
Self-centered listening: Everything is in our point of view.
5. Genuine Listening
Genuine listening is when you actually try to listen to
what the person is saying and take it to heart.
o Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears.
o Stand in their shoes.
o Practice mirroring.
6. Genuine Listening Benefits
It open up the other person’s heart.
Improve relationships with people.
Able to solve problem easily through communication.
Lesser the stress pent up inside by sharing.
7. Listen with Your Eyes, Heart, and Ears
Do not listen with just your ears. It only contain 7% of the
whole thing.
53% came from body language and 40% came from
tone/feelling.
Try to understand their way of expressing it rather than
just merely hearing.
8. Stand in Their Shoes
You must put yourself in their show in order to fully
understand their situation.
Trying to win a conversation will just end up in a Win-Lose
or Lose-Lose conclusion.
9. Practice Mirroring
Think like a mirror that doesn’t judge, but instead reflect.
Mirroring doesn’t mean you repeat exactly what they say.
Mirroring is repeating the meaning with affections.
10. Mirroring Benefits
Become a good listener.
Will know your friend better than ever.
Improve your charisma skill.
11. Communication with Parent
Try to stop arguing and listen to their story.
Parent too have worry and that can sometime affect how
they talk to us.
If you manage to understand them, many good thing will
occur.
12. Good Relationship with Parent Benefits
Better family circumstances.
A happy life style.
A good counselor right at home.
13. Seek to Be Understood
Seeking First to Understand is only half of habit 5.
Seeking to Be Understood is way more challenging since it
require courage.
If you can understand other, then other will surely
understand you too.
14. Feedbacks
Feedback is an important part of seeking to be
understood.
Do it right and it can be deposit in the RBA.
Only give feedback if it really help the person. If not then
it’s better to keep quiet.
When giving feedback, make the comment a first person
kind of comment.
15. Feedback Benefits
Obtain more and have a better relationship.
Help a friend in need of help.
Improve yourself with the feedback from your friend.
