This document discusses how to use details effectively in writing. It explains that details bring ideas and stories to life by giving sensory descriptions and examples. Details should be selected purposefully to support the main points. Both abstract and concrete details are discussed, along with using facts, statistics, anecdotes, imagery and other types of details. Specific techniques for incorporating sensory details, examples, metaphors and other literary devices are provided to enhance writing.

1. Details
Clearing Things Up

2. Objectives
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•
•
•
Understand the types of details
Develop techniques to use details
Explain how details can be used
Use imagery to enhance details
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3. Use of Details
• Details explain ideas
• Details give life to writing
• Details are selected to meet the purpose of
the essay
• Imagery is a detail which use the senses
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4. Abstract vs. Concrete
Flower
Rose
Yellow Rose
The alarm clock rang
The alarm clock was a klaxon shattering
sweet repose
The alarm clock woke me with a start.
The dress was pretty
The dress had a nice pattern
The dress was blue with light yellow checks.
He was happy
He smiled broadly
The smile on his face was a large as the grill
on a 1950’s Buick.
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5. Abstract/Concrete Exercise
Read each of the following words and decide where the example is
on the concrete/abstract scale
• Maple tree are pretty trees
in the fall.
• Sunday afternoon is a fun
day.
• He was a graceful
man: tall, thin and elegant.
• Lana wants success in her
life.
• Everyone knows the
dangers of global warming.
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Abstract
Concrete
Abstract
Concrete
Abstract
Concrete
Abstract
Concrete
Abstract
Concrete
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6. Abstract vs. Concrete Basic
Galileo was too sick to observe with the newly
invented telescope the three comets of 1618.
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7. Abstract vs. Concrete Details
A small comet glowed in the skies over Florence that
September of 1618. Though unspectacular, as comets
go, it was nevertheless the first comet to appear since
the birth of the telescope. Other astronomers took to
their rooftops with instruments of Galileo’s design, but
Galileo himself remained indoors an invalid. Then
another comet arrived in mid-November, while Galileo
unfortunately fared no better than before. And even by
the end of November, when a truly brilliant third comet
burst on the scene to garner the attention of observers
all over Europe, Galileo still could not stand among
them.
Galileo’s Daughter – Dava Sobel
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8. Senses
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•
•
•
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Sight
Sound
Smell
Taste
Touch
Allegory of the Five Senses -- 1668
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9. Using Senses
• Sense words can increase
the details in writing
• She smelled nice.
• She smelled of roses freshly
budded on a dewy morning.
• It was hard work.
• When I finally pushed the
print button on the
computer, a wave of
satisfaction filled me
because I knew that I had
finally finished the paper.
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10. Clear Sentences
• Avoid sentences overly long
and complicated
• Avoid sentences that are
difficult to understand
During my research on this
project, which covers an
important topic that
everyone should be aware
of and concerned with, I
discovered that my long
held beliefs on this subject
were naïve and fuzzy.
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11. Types of Details
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•
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Examples
Anecdotes
Fables and tales
Facts
Statistics
Metaphors and similes
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12. Examples
• Relevant
• Unified
• Answers questions the
reader might have
Mr. Cabot smoked
cigarettes since he was
fourteen. At the age of
fifty, he died of slow
suffocation because 36
years of Lucky Strikes
turned his lungs to beef
jerky.
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13. Anecdotes
• Anecdotes are usually longer than
examples
• They can be several paragraphs
• They make good introductory
paragraphs
In high school Mary hid with
her friends behind the
school’s gym to be hip and
smoke their cigarettes.
When she turned twentyfive she cut back from three
packs a day to two. At fifty,
though most thought she
was over sixty, Mary
stopped dancing, going
shopping, and playing with
her grandchild. She just got
too winded to do more than
just sit beside her full
ashtray.
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14. Fables and Tales
• Fables usually have animals do human
activities for the purpose of a moral
• Tales a usually made up anecdotes
• Fables and tales are seldom used in a
research paper
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15. A Fable
tortoise
decided to
The after theand the harethe tortoise.have a rematch several decades
hare lost to
The day of the big event arrived, and the hare was again boasting
between puffs of her cigarette that she had learned her lesson
not to be over confident. This time she was running as fast as she
could regardless of the pace of the tortoise.
The pair were out of the starting gate like a bullet from a gun and a
boulder from a slingshot. The tortoise saw nothing but the dust
the hare left behind.
But soon the tortoise caught up to the hare, who was panting and
wheezing beside a large oak tree. Although the tortoises speed
would hardly kick up dust, he crossed the finish line without
seeing the hacking hare again.
Moral – cigarettes can take the zip out of you.
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16. Facts
• Facts carry weight
• Be certain facts are correct
• Be certain facts are from a reputable source
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17. Facts
• More than 400,000 deaths in the U.S. each year are from smoking-related
illnesses. Smoking greatly increases your risks for lung cancer and many
other cancers
• Among infants to 18 months of age, secondhand smoke is associated with
as many as 300,000 cases of bronchitis and pneumonia each year.
• Pregnant women who smoke are more likely to deliver babies whose
weights are too low for the babies' good health. If all women quit smoking
during pregnancy, about 4,000 new babies would not die each year.
Facts About Smoking National Institutes of Health,
National Cancer Institute, & American Cancer Society
http://dccps.nci.nih.gov/tcrb/smoking_facts/facts.html
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18. Statistics
• Statistics are similar to facts except are based on
probability analysis
• Understand the scope and methods used
• Look for bias
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19. Statistics
• The Tobacco Industry kills more people in North America from Monday to
Thursday of each week than the terrorists murdered in total on Sept. 11,
2001
• 90% of lung cancer occurs in those who have smoked. Each package
delivers the equivalent of one chest x-ray.
• Chemicals contained in second hand smoke are not even allowed in most
city landfills
• When it comes right down to it, aren't you tired of being a slave to
cigarettes?
Quit Smoking Right Now. (2008) http://www.quitsmokingrightnow.com/
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20. Similes and Metaphors
• Compare unlike things
• Similes uses like or as in the comparison
– Nobody should smoke cigarettes - and smoking with an
ulcer is like pouring gasoline on a burning house. -- Dr. Sara
Murray Jordan
• Metaphor is a direct comparison
– She was cigarette thin and just as deadly.
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21. Cliché
A cliché is imagery that has been over used and
is no longer vibrant
– He smoked like a chimney.
– Hungry as a bear
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22. Grammar
• Like and as
– Like is a preposition used with nouns and
pronouns
• She sang like a bird.
– As is a conjunction and is used with clauses
• She sang as though she were a bird.
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23. Filler Words
• Avoid filler words.
Usually these word
mean little except to
add words.
– Bill has a lot of money.
• What is a lot?
•
•
•
•
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Really
A lot
Very
Many
There are
– Ginger studied very
hard.
• How much time did she
spend studying?
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24. Haiku
Is a short poem of Japanese
origin which
• Usually has 3 lines
• Has 5 – 7 –5 syllables to a
lines
• Includes nature and
personal emotion
• Uses imagery to convey
insight into reality.
Basho 1644-1694
The most famous
Japanese practitioner
of haiku
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25. Old Age
Now I see her face,
The old woman abandoned,
The moon her only companion.
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26. Nature
With plum blossom scent,
This sudden sun emerges
Along a mountain trail.
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27. Talent
Seen in plain daylight
The firefly’s nothing but a
Simple brown insect.
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28. Fame
Ungraciously, under
A great soldier’s empty helmet,
A cricket sings.
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29. Ezra Pound 1885-1972
In a Station of the Metro
The apparitions of these faces in the crowd
Petals on a wet, black bough.
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30. Write Your Own Haiku
• Write a haiku for extra credit.
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31. Summary
• Details support the writer's key ideas
• Details help the reader’s understanding the
key ideas
• Details enhance the reader’s experience
• Details are necessary
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32. Resources
• Using statistics owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/
print/research/PDFs/r_stats.pdf
• Elementary Concepts in Statistics
http://www.statsoftinc.com/textbook/esc1.html
• Writing for Success http://www.writing-for-successonline.com/anecdotes-write-about-people.html
(anecdotes)
• Aesop’s Fables – On line
http://www.pacificnet.net/~johnr/aesop/
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33. Basic Statistical Terms
• Percent – ratio between a whole
category and a part
• Average – generic term for 3
ways to average
– Mean – statistical term for average
– Median – middle number (used to
eliminate wide extremes)
– Mode – most frequently occurring
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• 25% = ¼ = 1:4
• (2+3+8+9+73)/5 = 19
• 2,3,8,9,73 = 8
• 2,5,3,2,3,3 = 3
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