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feature/psychology

the
PERFECTION
                                                                                                                                                   The occupation of just being female           Doctor Alice Domar, author, psychologist
                                                                                                                                               turned into being an A-grade mum,              and executive director of the Domar Centre
                                                                                                                                               wife and entrepreneur all at once, not to      for Mind/Body Health in the United States,
                                                                                                                                               mention the other things that one could        has undertaken many studies into the health
                                                                                                                                               classify themselves as in those few spare      and happiness of women. In her new book,




                       MYTH
                                                                                                                                               waking moments we have left in the day:        Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How To
                                                                                                                                               friend, chef, superwoman?                      Break Free From The Perfection Deception,
                                                                                                                                                   But when did wanting to have it all turn   Dr Alice examines why women constantly
                                                                                                                                               into a constant battle? When did we start      feel the need to want to do well when it
                                                                                                                                               to wake up in the morning and decide that      comes to their job, family, friends, their
                                                                                                                                               happiness was something that must be           home, body and everything in between.
                                                                                                                                               earned? Sure, it doesn’t grow on trees, but       “After years of exposure to completely
                                                                                                                                               do we really need the perfect partner, job,    unrealistic expectations being passed off as
                                                                                                                                               house or life to measure our own worth?        attainable, we create an image of what we
                                                                                                                                                                                              should be, how our houses should look,
                                                                                                                                                                                              how we should raise our children, how we
                                                                                                                                                                                              should do our jobs,” she says. “We live in
                                                                                                                                                                                              a pretty flawed world – who can blame us
     Are you trying to be the perfect wife? Mother? Employee? Friend? Shannon Wylie                                                                                                           for wanting to make our little corner of it

           discovers why the ‘Perfection Deception’ makes women miserable
                                                                                                                                                                                              perfect?” But how perfect is too perfect?
                                                                                                                                              “I expect to be the                                Stacey Herbertson, an Australian fashion

                                                                                                                                            best and be perfect at
                                                                                                                                                                                              marketing executive, struggles on a daily
                                                                                                                                                                                              basis with the idea of striving for that

                                                                                                                                             everything I do. My
                                                                                                                                                                                              never-ending search for perfection, both in
                                                                                                                                                                                              and out of the office and home.

                                                                                                                                            goals in life are to be                              “I expect to be the best and be perfect at




     T
                                                                                                                                                                                              everything I do,” the 25-year-old says. “My
                   here are certain things
                   in life that remain                                                                                                        successful, to look                             goals in life are to be successful, to look
                                                                                                                                                                                              perfect, be happy and to have it all.”
                   measures of happiness,
                   bringing that added
                                                                                                                                            perfect, be happy and                                Between living the high life in fashion
                                                                                                                                                                                              and continuing further study, Stacey is
                   touch of perfection to
                                                                                                                                                 to have it all.”                             highly focused on securing the perfect life.




                                                                                      PhotogrAPhy by LindA rosewALL www.LindArosewALL.com
                   our everyday lives.                                                                                                                                                        “I go to extremes with exercising and under
   From that fabulously fitting shoe,                                                                                                                                                         eating when it comes to looking perfect and
preferably high-tailing the name of Blahnik
or Choo, to the rock that says ‘I love you’,
today it seems we are all on the hunt for
that perfect piece of happiness.
   But somewhere along the line, perhaps
between the 1950s housewife and the 1990s
power woman, women all around the world
developed a sense of wanting to have it all
and, in turn, made perfection more than
a measure of happiness – they made it a
measure of themselves as a person.




68    emirates woman   August 2009                                                                                                                                                                             August 2009   emirates woman   69
feature/psychology

I spend all my money on the very best clothes and accessories to        better than us. Then there is competition in the workplace where
make sure I look the best.”
   The problem Stacey and many others face is the constant spiral
                                                                        survival of the fittest is inevitable.”
                                                                           It would seem that no matter which direction we take in life                                                                      ALice domAr’s
of dissatisfaction that comes with being a perfectionist. “Whenever     there is a constant battle to maintain our ideal circumstances. But                                                                  tiPs for A
I don’t reach my expectations I become emotionally depressed,” she
says. “I avoid people, socialising and
                                                                        with these choices come some very serious consequences.
                                                                                                                The physical health of                                                                       hAPPy ever
even going outside. In the past, my high                                                                  perfectionists often leads to increased                                                            After
expectations of myself have also affected
my physical health. I became too skinny           “In the past, my                                        cortisol and stress hormones. These
                                                                                                          are fine in small amounts and are                                                                  Distortion: All-or-nothing thinking
and would often not eat for up to 10
days at a time.”                                 high expectations                                        designed to protect us. However,
                                                                                                          over a long period of time, this
                                                                                                                                                                                                             you look at everything in extremes so
                                                                                                                                                                                                             that things are either good or bad, with
   So how does she maintain not only
a hectic lifestyle, but perfectionist-             of myself have                                         self-induced stress is unhelpful and
                                                                                                          will often contribute to weakened
                                                                                                                                                                                                             nothing in between.
                                                                                                                                                                                                             Example: if you find yourself in the
induced plans? “I often have long term
and short term goals, including daily             also affected my                                        i m m u n i t y. In t h e l o n g te r m ,
                                                                                                          constant worry and unrelenting high
                                                                                                                                                                                                             slowest line at the supermarket you say,
                                                                                                                                                                                                             “i always pick the wrong line.”
goals that I write in a book,” she says.
“I read or refer to them all day if I need        physical health.                                        standards can lead to cardiovascular
                                                                                                          problems, especially if someone can’t
                                                                                                                                                                                                             Tell yourself: “how nice to have a


                                                    I became too
                                                                                                                                                                                                             few minutes with nothing to do and
to so I stay on track with what I want                                                                    keep up with the lifestyle they have                                                               nothing bothering me. i think i’ll read


                                                 skinny and would
to achieve. This can often distract me                                                                    set for themselves.                                                                                a magazine.”
from other things going on in my life                                                                        “Trying to be too perfect shows


                                                often not eat for up
and I become disinterested in anything                                                                    that someone is unhappy with                                                                       Distortion: Mental filter
but achieving my goals. I will never be                                                                   themself or the things around them,”                                                               believing you have to be the best,


                                                to 10 days at a time.”
happy until I am the best I can be.”                                                                      says Dr Melanie. “It also shows a                                                                  otherwise you’re a failure.
   Ahlaam Ali, Lifestyle and Nutrition                                                                    sense of not feeling in control so they                                                            Example: you miss one exercise
consultant at Powwer Living in Dubai,                                                                     do things to supposedly give them                                                                  class out of 10 and you criticise
knows first hand the extremes women                                                                       that control. In the end, though, they                                                             yourself for not being able to stick
are willing to go to in their quest to combat being imperfect           are never satisfied, never happy and have no idea how to live in the                                                                 to a workout plan.
in a physical sense. “We get requests all the time from women           moment. This often results in their quality of life going out the                                                                    Tell yourself: “i’m doing great because
who want to look like Hollywood and Bollywood stars,” she says.         window. They are like a mouse on a wheel but don’t know how to                                                                       i made it to 90 per cent of my classes.”
“These are the women who constantly look for new methods of             get off and appreciate the life that they do have.”
looking younger, thinner, sexier and prettier. They will try all the       Kelly Grant, who set up home nine years ago in Bahrain, is                                                                        Distortion: ‘Should’ statements
procedures and will be the first to trial them as well.”                someone who is learning to adjust to a life that allows her to                                                                       Putting too much onus on your abilities
   But the endless drive for perfection extends a long way past         work and enjoy her family. A full-time mother to son Noah, two,                                                                      and managing realistic expectations.
physical appearance. Belinda Silling, 32, admits that her need to       and daughter Jude, eleven months, wife, full-time student and                                                                        Examples: you tell yourself: “i should
excel in every facet of her life has left her not only exhausted, but   professional, she says, “I don’t have it all, but certainly want it.                                                                 be able to keep the house looking
bitter. “I work in a very competitive industry,” says the graphic       When I was pregnant with my daughter I didn’t get to complete my                                                                     clean and neat all the time. it should
designer. “I know that I’m only as good as my last design, so I         university course. I still berate myself over it because I would be so                                                               never be messy.”
spend every moment in the office trying to create something to          much further along if I hadn’t [fallen pregnant].”                                                                                   Tell yourself: “maybe my house is
blow my bosses away. I feel personally insulted when someone else          Behind the 31-year-old’s door there is a lot of planning, juggling                                                                messy, but at least it’s clean.”
is praised for their work and I read it as a message to me that I       and serious time management. “I have a calendar on the kitchen
must work harder.” And things don’t get any easier when she signs       wall with time limits for everything. My husband laughs at me,                                                                       Distortion: Mind reading
off for the day. “I race home to have the children bathed before my     but it works. Whenever I am cooking I am able to go over things                                                                      Always thinking that the fault lies with
husband gets home,” the mother of three admits. “We have a maid,        and work things out in my head, my plan of attack. It’s all about                                                                    you, regardless of the situation.
but I know that my mother-in-law used to cook every night and I         perspective; if you think you can’t do it, you won’t be able to.”                                                                    Example: your partner, who’s usually
don’t want my husband to think I’m less than perfect as a wife. So, I      Dr Alice says that whether women are striving for perfection                                                                      very sociable after dinner, says he wants
do have dinner ready and on the table by the time he walks through      in the home, at work, with friends, family or loved ones, there is a                                                                 to be alone. you assume it’s because he
the door in the evening and I won’t cook the same thing twice.”         certain stage of realisation. She says women need to know that “you                                                                  is annoyed with you.
                                                                                                                                                       PhotogrAPhy by LindA rosewALL www.LindArosewALL.com




Even when dinner is served, Belinda laments, her day isn’t over.        can be happier, yet it isn't always about being perfect”.                                                                            Tell yourself: “i’ll ask him if we’re oK,
“While my husband is showering, I quickly phone my girlfriends to          “You can take better care of yourself. You can feel healthier,                                                                    and if he says yes, i’ll assume he’s upset
catch up on their days so they have no reason to think I’m anything     more content, and more satisfied. These may sound like pie-in-                                                                       about something that has nothing to do
less than the perfect friend.” And is she happy? “I’m sure I could be   the-sky goals, but you can achieve them far more easily than you                                                                     with me. i can’t assume that i’m the only
doing more,” she says.                                                  realise,” she advises. And how does she suggest we do this? “You                                                                     person he gets annoyed with.”
   The assumption that women need to be perfect often stems from        can be happier by re-framing your expectations and embracing an
a common thread, Dr Melanie Schlatter from the Well Woman               imperfect life. You can be happy without being perfect.” n
Clinic, Dubai, notes. She explains that women will often say that
what they are now is not good enough and not acceptable, so they        Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How To Break Free From The
feel they have to do more, be more, have more.                          Perfection Deception by Dr Alice Domar is available at Kinokuniya
   “From school where the pressure is on to get high grades, to         Books, Dhs90. For more information on dealing with perfection contact
competing for a place at the right university, we gain a sense that     Powwer Living, (04) 3411040 or Well Woman Clinic, (04) 3327117.
anything less than perfect is unacceptable,” says Dr Melanie. “We
have friends around us who have more than us or who we feel are

70   emirates woman   August 2009                                                                                                                                                                                                                         August 2009   emirates woman   71
106   emirates woman   October 2009   October 2009   emirates woman   107
o one seems to be able to get enough
                             of Scarlett Johansson. The New Yorker
                             who grew up in front of the camera and
                             cemented her name in the Hollywood
                             Hills is now more than ever making her
                             mark in show business and there aren’t
                             many who don’t want a piece of the
                             action. But don’t label her merely a movie
                             star with the usual cash cow qualities
                             just yet. While she may be the subject of
                             Woody Allen’s attention and an award
winning actress she has spread her glamorous reach to the world of
fashion and music, too. Starring as the face of Dolce & Gabbana’s new
make-up collection and honing her vocals as a blossoming musician,
Ms Johansson isn’t about to disappear behind the curtains, like many
a child star, anytime soon. With the spotlight firmly fixed on the
modern-day Marilyn, 24-year-old Scarlett is embracing her new found
success with a slow and steady salute to stardom.
   Born November 22, 1984, to a Danish father and an American
mother, Scarlett was the third out of four siblings to take to the stage   She speaks of being able to “capture all of women’s graces. That to
alongside her twin brother, Hunter. “I never struggled with trying to      me, is what makes this campaign so special.” Domenico Dolce and
figure out what it was I wanted to do or what made the sparks go for       Stefano Gabbana reflect on this though and identify why they choose
me. I always had that huge ‘laaa’ aspect to me.” And so Scarlett began     Scarlett as the face of their new cosmetics collection.
her career aged nine in the feature film, North. While the movie               “She is a simple and objective young woman and she has her feet well
didn’t skyrocket her career it certainly positioned her as one to watch.   planted on the ground, maybe because her success did not come all of
In 1996, only two years after hitting the big screen, Scarlett earned      a sudden, but she has built it up step by step. A little bit like it happened
herself a nomination for an Independent Spirit Award for Best Lead         to us, we have never had a proper boom,” said Dolce & Gabbana.
Female in Manny & Lo. She had a few minor roles in If Lucy Fell,               Aside from Scarlett’s subtle approach to fame and fortune the
Home Alone 3 and Fall before being nominated again in 1998 for             designers identify this as being a perfect entry level for universal
the Most Promising Newcomer in The Horse Whisperer. Ghost World            appeal. “Scarlett is a woman that women like. She is beautiful, but
was her next big hit in 2001 which saw her nominated for three Best        not perfect, she is glamorous because of her job, but in her everyday
Supporting Actress Awards. It was Lost in Translation, which won           life she could easily resemble your girl next door,” says Domenico.
the Golden Globe for Best Motion Picture, however, that cemented           Stefano continues with, “that’s what we like about her. She interprets
her name as Hollywood hot property. The then 18-year-old,                  a role and she is very good at it, but at the same time she manages to
who played a 25-year-old opposite Bill Murray, took home the               stay real.”
BAFTA Award for Best Actress in a Leading Role. Several critically             The collection itself symbolises a characteristic charm of modern
acclaimed roles followed in Girl with a Pearl Earring, A Love Song         make-up, striking and unforgettable. And from the campaign to the
for Bobby Long and Match Point which was her first lead role in a          formulation of a brand, Scarlett screams success. “We have carefully
Woody Allen flick. Scarlett’s roles following The Nanny Diaries made       chosen with whom we collaborate to develop the technical aspects
sure her reputation was rich with success. She went on to share the        of the products, but choosing Scarlett was an instinctive choice,”
screen with Natalie Portman and Eric Bana in The Other Boleyn Girl,        explains Stefano. While the men of the iconic label are undoubtedly
and Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz in Vicki Christina Barcelona,          fans of the starlet, don’t be mistaken for thinking she is their muse.
before being cast in the all-star films He’s Just Not that Into You and    “We do not have a muse. The time for muses is long gone,” says
                                                                                                                                                           IMAGE ROBERT BELLAMY




Iron Man 2. With 30 movies strongly secured under her fashionable          Stefano. “As far as we are concerned, we loved her being a strong
belt and a bright future on the acting horizon this classic beauty         woman with a very well-defined personality. She knows what she
refocused her attentions and took to testing the waters in other areas.    wants, but she does not take herself too seriously.” Domenico
   With an obvious sense of style and a face for fashion, Scarlett         chimes “we immediately loved her being ironic as well as the way
took advantage of her ability to transform in front of the camera,         she plays being a young diva. One day femme fatale, the day after
becoming the face of Dolce and Gabbana’s new cosmetics collection.         she’s the girl next door.”




108   emirates woman   October 2009                                                                                                                                               October 2009   emirates woman   109
Even Scarlett herself identifies with the importance of knowing            From musical men to making noise of her own, Scarlett has
who you are as a woman and enveloping that essence. So she says            extended her range of talents to include budding singer. Her debut
of being the face of Dolce & Gabbana The Make Up, “it’s                    album Anywhere I Lay My Head was released last year to mixed
a celebration of femininity. I enjoy being a girl. I like being feminine   reviews and failed to make an impression on the music scene. The
and celebrating that part of myself. Some girls are uncomfortable          collection of songs includes one original score and 10 covers of Tom
with being girls. They don’t know how to be in their bodies but that       Waits tunes with guest vocals by a number of musicians including
was never for me.” Scarlett even goes so far as to say that women          David Bowie. So what made Scarlett decide to leap into music? “I had
shouldn’t be scared of embracing being able to have fun doing all          this golden opportunity to record and thought I would do maybe an
things girly. “I think some girls are afraid of make-up because they       album of standards, because I’m not a songwriter. I’m a vocalist.”
don’t know how to apply it properly, so they just don’t wear it,” she      Second time around she teamed up with Pete Yorn, an American pop
says. “I always tell my friends that if the make-up doesn’t look good,     singer to release her second album titled Break Up, and it seems that
you can always just wash it off.”                                          Josh Harnett was the catalyst for the album. The songs which were
    Scarlett certainly knows the importance of relating to a brand and     actually recorded in 2006 cast memories back on her time spent with
Dolce and Gabbana quite clearly saw this trait. “We wanted to capture      the heart-throb. So with two albums under her belt the star reflects
the essence of the glamour of Hollywood and at the same time we            on the projects and whether it would be worthwhile to idly continue
wanted to have a face with whom women could easily identify,”              ambling down the music path. “I don’t think I’d do covers again,
said Domenico. “Elegant, sophisticated, beautiful.” The inspiration        so it’d be a project that I have to dedicate myself to. I feel like that’s
is a mix of the modern Marilyn together with the Dolce&Gabbana             something for the future.”
woman, who is glamourous, confident and somewhat sensual.                      With no signs of slowing down it seems inevitable that this
    Scarlett seems to be oozing Marilyn-esque appeal of late. She’s        highly talented musician, model and movie star is on track to
set to play the Hollywood star in My Week with Marilyn. While              becoming the next iconic name in Hollywood. “No, being an icon
with those luscious lips, blonde bob, curvaceous body and blue eyes        to me is something that comes from time and years, and I think
she may look a lot like Marilyn, does Scarlett relate to the famous        I feel probably 50 years away from,” she pauses. “From being an icon.
actress? “Personally? No, no, no, no.” The film, which focuses on the      Hopefully!”
making of The Prince and the Showgirl, will see Scarlett personify the
vulnerable Ms Monroe. This is perhaps why Scarlett doesn’t associate
with the actress herself, considering that off screen she is highly
confident and self-possesed, which she attributes to her upbringing.
    “My mother is a very confident woman. She’s beautiful and she
always loved fixing herself up and wearing make-up and doing her
hair. I wanted to be like her. And since nobody made me feel self-
conscious, I was a confident kid.” Fortunately this allowed Scarlett
to maintain a semi-structured life off camera as well as maintaining
some form of normality at home. As far as Scarlett is concerned
this means keeping her private life private which recently caused
a media frenzy. After a whirlwind romance with Canadian actor Ryan
Reynolds, Scarlett tied the knot in September last year which set the
paparazzi and gossip queens’ tongues a-wagging. But as far as she is
concerned it is nobody else’s business. “I guess I try to be under the
radar. I’m not a flashy kind of person. I don’t walk around town in
five-inch heels, I try and live as normal a life as possible.” Which in
Scarlett’s eyes means not opening up about life and love as a celebrity.
In the past she has been linked with fellow actor Josh Hartnett
as well as Jack Antonoff. A member of the band Steel Train, Jack
is notoriously known for his song Better Love, which is about pining
for the actress. Rumours also surfaced about a relationship with
musician Justin Timberlake, after she starred as his love interest in
his What Goes Around Comes music video, but whom she refuses to
admit any romantic connection with.




110   emirates woman   October 2009
BEAUTY Insider knowledge



              Long live
              beauty
              Ever wondered how starlets
              manage to always look red
              carpet-ready? There are a
              few long lasting tips that will
              have you glowing for weeks.
              We check out the experts in
              the Middle East that can help
              you fake it.
              The seven-day glow
              Being glamorously golden can be as much a part of a                                                                                                                                                                                Luscious
              celebrity’s CV as their acting credentials. All you have to
              do is scan the red carpet. The best bit is you too can get
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              locks
              a gorgeous glow that will set you in stead with the likes                                                                                                                                                                  Ever wondered how Katrina Kaif,
              of Jennifer Aniston. But don’t be mistaken for thinking                                                                                                                                                             Cheryl Cole or Heidi Klum always
              any old faux tan will do the trick, one false decision and                                                                                                                                                          manage to have picture perfect hair in
              you could very well be sporting the colour of a                                                                                                                                                                    just the right shade? Maria Dowling
              basketball.                                                                                                                                                                                                         knows their secrets.
                  Straight from the US, Fantasy Tan is one of the                                                                                                                                                                      A hairdresser for 21 years, Maria
              original and leading spray tans on the market. The                                                                                                                                                                  knows a thing or two about colour,
              bronzing mist is so good it is contracted by Disney, Sony                                                                                                                                                            and she delivers every time. Working
              and Universal Studios for their celebrities making it one                                                                      Luminous skin                                                                         from her salon in Dubai she continues
              of the hottest spray tan products available. Introduced                                                                                                                                                              to transform the looks and lifestyles of
                                                                                                                                             Hollywood blonde Kate Bosworth is known
              to Pastels Salon, Dubai by Ferne Lategan, Fantasy Tan is                                                                                                                                                              women with colour and style. That is
                                                                                                                                             to have one of the most luminous
              leading the airbrushing trade in the city. “The difference                                                                                                                                                            if you can get in to see her. The rich
                                                                                                                                             complexions in Tinseltown – always treading




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                WRITTEN AND COMPILED BY ShANNON WYLIE AND ANITA quADE. PhOTOS: AfP PhOTO. gETTY IMAgES
               is you can actually choose what colour you want. Most                                                                                                                                                                and famous of Dubai have her on
                                                                                                                                             the red carpet with a flawless face.
               fake tans are available in medium to dark but with                                                                                                                                                                   speed dial and the fashion crowd wait
                                                                                                                                                Everyone needs a helping hand when it
                Fantasy Tan you can custom mix your own                                                                                                                                                                              months for an appointment. But ask
                                                                                                                                             comes to looking their best and the key is
                  colour,”she explains. Lasting around seven days, the                                                                                                                                                               anyone who’s been there, it is well
                                                                                                                                             keeping skin in tip-top shape with regular
                  tan will be perfect for a light winter glow or a                                                                                                                                                                   worth the wait.
                                                                                                                                             visits to a skin professional.
                  bronzed beach beauty look, whatever the season.                                                                                                                                                                         The beauty of a good colourist is
                                                                                                                                                Many of the social set and Bollywood
                  Forget bottle sprays and while the hot summer sun                                                                                                                                                                  that they can recreate your whole
                                                                                                                                             stars have Dr Maria Khattar, from Dubai’s
                   may have retreated leaving a serious temptation to                                                                                                                                                                 look to perfection and this season
                                                                                                                                             Aesthetica Clinic, on speed dial. She is the
                    bake on the beach in the cooler light of day but in                                                                                                                                                               the colours of choice are blonde or
                                                                                                                                             woman wonder acclaimed around town
                    fact the search for that perfect golden                                                                                                                                                                           anything dark. If you’re not
                                                                                                                                             for reviving dull complexions and turning
                     tan has stopped at Pastels.                                                                                                                                                                                      naturally these shades, it takes the
                                                                                                                                             back the clock.
                     www.pastels-salon.com                                                                                                                                                                                             work of a master hairdresser to
                                                                                                                                                She appraises a client’s age and skin
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       maintain. Although colours don’t
                                                                                                    Month-long lashes                        type and devises a plan to get them
                                                                                                                                             glowing, which can include treatments
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       fade as fast, you won’t end up with
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       rusty orange instead of that auburn
                                      Perhaps the only real secret to longer, thicker and curlier lashes are false ones. Forget mascaras,    including peels and mesotherapy to help
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       redness you so richly desired and
                              Hollywood’s most glamorous know how to do it properly with the least amount of hassle and fuss but             maintain a natural lustre.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       she’ll even match the correct shade
                                     with maximum results. Think of Jennifer Lopez’s perfect batting lashes and Victoria Beckham’s              For those who need a little more help
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        of colour to your face. But don’t be
                               stunning stare. It’s no wonder these women constantly look perfect. All they do is wake up and walk           with problem skin including open pores
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        fooled into thinking that a fresh
                              out the door, with minimal make-up required. Voila. Yes, you can apply your own lashes, which leave            and pigmentation, she recommends
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        dose of dye will fix all of your hair
                                   clumps of glue stuck to your lids and that only last one occasion but why bother? It’s amazing the        fractional resurfacing lasers.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      dilemmas and have you looking like
                                  difference false eyelashes can make to your appearance and Sisters Beauty Lounge in Dubai knows               “I would recommend the Pixel xl by
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Nicole Kidman. “Looking after your
                             how to make it happen. Their trained staff are able to create the lash factor you require. Not only does        Alma lasers and RF Pixel which are a
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  hair and scalp is as important as
                                    wearing false lashes open the eye, they also enhance your look from a washed out housewife to a          prime treatment for acne scars,” she says
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              looking after your skin,” says Maria.
                                                                                  brazen beauty depending on the type of lash you get.          While getting a helping hand from an
                                                                                                                                                                                                                With winter encroaching and the tendency for hair to
                                 Sisters Beauty Salon use Lash Perfect from the UK. The false eyelashes come in various colours and          expert is ideal, Dr Maria says the basics of
                                                                                                                                                                                                       dry out it is vital to give your locks the nutrients they require.
                                   lengths to suit any individual eye shape and colour. Individual lashes are adhered to your original       a healthy lifestyle, good nutrition and
                                                                                                                                                                                            Coming highly recommended by Maria Dowling are the Kerastase In-
                                      lashes and for six weeks you’ll have perfect bat-worthy lids. That and you’ll notice a significant     proper hydration play a role in
                                                                                                                                                                                            salon treatments designed to nourish and moisturise your hair as is the
                                    decrease in the time you need to spend applying make-up. For a dramatic look the full fit is used        maintaining healthy, radiant looking                                                                                                                                                    47
                                                                                                                                                                                            Panpuri Detox treatment which deeply cleanses and removes any build
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Fashion and Features Portfolio

  • 1.
  • 2.
  • 3. feature/psychology the PERFECTION The occupation of just being female Doctor Alice Domar, author, psychologist turned into being an A-grade mum, and executive director of the Domar Centre wife and entrepreneur all at once, not to for Mind/Body Health in the United States, mention the other things that one could has undertaken many studies into the health classify themselves as in those few spare and happiness of women. In her new book, MYTH waking moments we have left in the day: Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How To friend, chef, superwoman? Break Free From The Perfection Deception, But when did wanting to have it all turn Dr Alice examines why women constantly into a constant battle? When did we start feel the need to want to do well when it to wake up in the morning and decide that comes to their job, family, friends, their happiness was something that must be home, body and everything in between. earned? Sure, it doesn’t grow on trees, but “After years of exposure to completely do we really need the perfect partner, job, unrealistic expectations being passed off as house or life to measure our own worth? attainable, we create an image of what we should be, how our houses should look, how we should raise our children, how we should do our jobs,” she says. “We live in a pretty flawed world – who can blame us Are you trying to be the perfect wife? Mother? Employee? Friend? Shannon Wylie for wanting to make our little corner of it discovers why the ‘Perfection Deception’ makes women miserable perfect?” But how perfect is too perfect? “I expect to be the Stacey Herbertson, an Australian fashion best and be perfect at marketing executive, struggles on a daily basis with the idea of striving for that everything I do. My never-ending search for perfection, both in and out of the office and home. goals in life are to be “I expect to be the best and be perfect at T everything I do,” the 25-year-old says. “My here are certain things in life that remain successful, to look goals in life are to be successful, to look perfect, be happy and to have it all.” measures of happiness, bringing that added perfect, be happy and Between living the high life in fashion and continuing further study, Stacey is touch of perfection to to have it all.” highly focused on securing the perfect life. PhotogrAPhy by LindA rosewALL www.LindArosewALL.com our everyday lives. “I go to extremes with exercising and under From that fabulously fitting shoe, eating when it comes to looking perfect and preferably high-tailing the name of Blahnik or Choo, to the rock that says ‘I love you’, today it seems we are all on the hunt for that perfect piece of happiness. But somewhere along the line, perhaps between the 1950s housewife and the 1990s power woman, women all around the world developed a sense of wanting to have it all and, in turn, made perfection more than a measure of happiness – they made it a measure of themselves as a person. 68 emirates woman August 2009 August 2009 emirates woman 69
  • 4. feature/psychology I spend all my money on the very best clothes and accessories to better than us. Then there is competition in the workplace where make sure I look the best.” The problem Stacey and many others face is the constant spiral survival of the fittest is inevitable.” It would seem that no matter which direction we take in life ALice domAr’s of dissatisfaction that comes with being a perfectionist. “Whenever there is a constant battle to maintain our ideal circumstances. But tiPs for A I don’t reach my expectations I become emotionally depressed,” she says. “I avoid people, socialising and with these choices come some very serious consequences. The physical health of hAPPy ever even going outside. In the past, my high perfectionists often leads to increased After expectations of myself have also affected my physical health. I became too skinny “In the past, my cortisol and stress hormones. These are fine in small amounts and are Distortion: All-or-nothing thinking and would often not eat for up to 10 days at a time.” high expectations designed to protect us. However, over a long period of time, this you look at everything in extremes so that things are either good or bad, with So how does she maintain not only a hectic lifestyle, but perfectionist- of myself have self-induced stress is unhelpful and will often contribute to weakened nothing in between. Example: if you find yourself in the induced plans? “I often have long term and short term goals, including daily also affected my i m m u n i t y. In t h e l o n g te r m , constant worry and unrelenting high slowest line at the supermarket you say, “i always pick the wrong line.” goals that I write in a book,” she says. “I read or refer to them all day if I need physical health. standards can lead to cardiovascular problems, especially if someone can’t Tell yourself: “how nice to have a I became too few minutes with nothing to do and to so I stay on track with what I want keep up with the lifestyle they have nothing bothering me. i think i’ll read skinny and would to achieve. This can often distract me set for themselves. a magazine.” from other things going on in my life “Trying to be too perfect shows often not eat for up and I become disinterested in anything that someone is unhappy with Distortion: Mental filter but achieving my goals. I will never be themself or the things around them,” believing you have to be the best, to 10 days at a time.” happy until I am the best I can be.” says Dr Melanie. “It also shows a otherwise you’re a failure. Ahlaam Ali, Lifestyle and Nutrition sense of not feeling in control so they Example: you miss one exercise consultant at Powwer Living in Dubai, do things to supposedly give them class out of 10 and you criticise knows first hand the extremes women that control. In the end, though, they yourself for not being able to stick are willing to go to in their quest to combat being imperfect are never satisfied, never happy and have no idea how to live in the to a workout plan. in a physical sense. “We get requests all the time from women moment. This often results in their quality of life going out the Tell yourself: “i’m doing great because who want to look like Hollywood and Bollywood stars,” she says. window. They are like a mouse on a wheel but don’t know how to i made it to 90 per cent of my classes.” “These are the women who constantly look for new methods of get off and appreciate the life that they do have.” looking younger, thinner, sexier and prettier. They will try all the Kelly Grant, who set up home nine years ago in Bahrain, is Distortion: ‘Should’ statements procedures and will be the first to trial them as well.” someone who is learning to adjust to a life that allows her to Putting too much onus on your abilities But the endless drive for perfection extends a long way past work and enjoy her family. A full-time mother to son Noah, two, and managing realistic expectations. physical appearance. Belinda Silling, 32, admits that her need to and daughter Jude, eleven months, wife, full-time student and Examples: you tell yourself: “i should excel in every facet of her life has left her not only exhausted, but professional, she says, “I don’t have it all, but certainly want it. be able to keep the house looking bitter. “I work in a very competitive industry,” says the graphic When I was pregnant with my daughter I didn’t get to complete my clean and neat all the time. it should designer. “I know that I’m only as good as my last design, so I university course. I still berate myself over it because I would be so never be messy.” spend every moment in the office trying to create something to much further along if I hadn’t [fallen pregnant].” Tell yourself: “maybe my house is blow my bosses away. I feel personally insulted when someone else Behind the 31-year-old’s door there is a lot of planning, juggling messy, but at least it’s clean.” is praised for their work and I read it as a message to me that I and serious time management. “I have a calendar on the kitchen must work harder.” And things don’t get any easier when she signs wall with time limits for everything. My husband laughs at me, Distortion: Mind reading off for the day. “I race home to have the children bathed before my but it works. Whenever I am cooking I am able to go over things Always thinking that the fault lies with husband gets home,” the mother of three admits. “We have a maid, and work things out in my head, my plan of attack. It’s all about you, regardless of the situation. but I know that my mother-in-law used to cook every night and I perspective; if you think you can’t do it, you won’t be able to.” Example: your partner, who’s usually don’t want my husband to think I’m less than perfect as a wife. So, I Dr Alice says that whether women are striving for perfection very sociable after dinner, says he wants do have dinner ready and on the table by the time he walks through in the home, at work, with friends, family or loved ones, there is a to be alone. you assume it’s because he the door in the evening and I won’t cook the same thing twice.” certain stage of realisation. She says women need to know that “you is annoyed with you. PhotogrAPhy by LindA rosewALL www.LindArosewALL.com Even when dinner is served, Belinda laments, her day isn’t over. can be happier, yet it isn't always about being perfect”. Tell yourself: “i’ll ask him if we’re oK, “While my husband is showering, I quickly phone my girlfriends to “You can take better care of yourself. You can feel healthier, and if he says yes, i’ll assume he’s upset catch up on their days so they have no reason to think I’m anything more content, and more satisfied. These may sound like pie-in- about something that has nothing to do less than the perfect friend.” And is she happy? “I’m sure I could be the-sky goals, but you can achieve them far more easily than you with me. i can’t assume that i’m the only doing more,” she says. realise,” she advises. And how does she suggest we do this? “You person he gets annoyed with.” The assumption that women need to be perfect often stems from can be happier by re-framing your expectations and embracing an a common thread, Dr Melanie Schlatter from the Well Woman imperfect life. You can be happy without being perfect.” n Clinic, Dubai, notes. She explains that women will often say that what they are now is not good enough and not acceptable, so they Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How To Break Free From The feel they have to do more, be more, have more. Perfection Deception by Dr Alice Domar is available at Kinokuniya “From school where the pressure is on to get high grades, to Books, Dhs90. For more information on dealing with perfection contact competing for a place at the right university, we gain a sense that Powwer Living, (04) 3411040 or Well Woman Clinic, (04) 3327117. anything less than perfect is unacceptable,” says Dr Melanie. “We have friends around us who have more than us or who we feel are 70 emirates woman August 2009 August 2009 emirates woman 71
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  • 6. o one seems to be able to get enough of Scarlett Johansson. The New Yorker who grew up in front of the camera and cemented her name in the Hollywood Hills is now more than ever making her mark in show business and there aren’t many who don’t want a piece of the action. But don’t label her merely a movie star with the usual cash cow qualities just yet. While she may be the subject of Woody Allen’s attention and an award winning actress she has spread her glamorous reach to the world of fashion and music, too. Starring as the face of Dolce & Gabbana’s new make-up collection and honing her vocals as a blossoming musician, Ms Johansson isn’t about to disappear behind the curtains, like many a child star, anytime soon. With the spotlight firmly fixed on the modern-day Marilyn, 24-year-old Scarlett is embracing her new found success with a slow and steady salute to stardom. Born November 22, 1984, to a Danish father and an American mother, Scarlett was the third out of four siblings to take to the stage She speaks of being able to “capture all of women’s graces. That to alongside her twin brother, Hunter. “I never struggled with trying to me, is what makes this campaign so special.” Domenico Dolce and figure out what it was I wanted to do or what made the sparks go for Stefano Gabbana reflect on this though and identify why they choose me. I always had that huge ‘laaa’ aspect to me.” And so Scarlett began Scarlett as the face of their new cosmetics collection. her career aged nine in the feature film, North. While the movie “She is a simple and objective young woman and she has her feet well didn’t skyrocket her career it certainly positioned her as one to watch. planted on the ground, maybe because her success did not come all of In 1996, only two years after hitting the big screen, Scarlett earned a sudden, but she has built it up step by step. A little bit like it happened herself a nomination for an Independent Spirit Award for Best Lead to us, we have never had a proper boom,” said Dolce & Gabbana. Female in Manny & Lo. She had a few minor roles in If Lucy Fell, Aside from Scarlett’s subtle approach to fame and fortune the Home Alone 3 and Fall before being nominated again in 1998 for designers identify this as being a perfect entry level for universal the Most Promising Newcomer in The Horse Whisperer. Ghost World appeal. “Scarlett is a woman that women like. She is beautiful, but was her next big hit in 2001 which saw her nominated for three Best not perfect, she is glamorous because of her job, but in her everyday Supporting Actress Awards. It was Lost in Translation, which won life she could easily resemble your girl next door,” says Domenico. the Golden Globe for Best Motion Picture, however, that cemented Stefano continues with, “that’s what we like about her. She interprets her name as Hollywood hot property. The then 18-year-old, a role and she is very good at it, but at the same time she manages to who played a 25-year-old opposite Bill Murray, took home the stay real.” BAFTA Award for Best Actress in a Leading Role. Several critically The collection itself symbolises a characteristic charm of modern acclaimed roles followed in Girl with a Pearl Earring, A Love Song make-up, striking and unforgettable. And from the campaign to the for Bobby Long and Match Point which was her first lead role in a formulation of a brand, Scarlett screams success. “We have carefully Woody Allen flick. Scarlett’s roles following The Nanny Diaries made chosen with whom we collaborate to develop the technical aspects sure her reputation was rich with success. She went on to share the of the products, but choosing Scarlett was an instinctive choice,” screen with Natalie Portman and Eric Bana in The Other Boleyn Girl, explains Stefano. While the men of the iconic label are undoubtedly and Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz in Vicki Christina Barcelona, fans of the starlet, don’t be mistaken for thinking she is their muse. before being cast in the all-star films He’s Just Not that Into You and “We do not have a muse. The time for muses is long gone,” says IMAGE ROBERT BELLAMY Iron Man 2. With 30 movies strongly secured under her fashionable Stefano. “As far as we are concerned, we loved her being a strong belt and a bright future on the acting horizon this classic beauty woman with a very well-defined personality. She knows what she refocused her attentions and took to testing the waters in other areas. wants, but she does not take herself too seriously.” Domenico With an obvious sense of style and a face for fashion, Scarlett chimes “we immediately loved her being ironic as well as the way took advantage of her ability to transform in front of the camera, she plays being a young diva. One day femme fatale, the day after becoming the face of Dolce and Gabbana’s new cosmetics collection. she’s the girl next door.” 108 emirates woman October 2009 October 2009 emirates woman 109
  • 7. Even Scarlett herself identifies with the importance of knowing From musical men to making noise of her own, Scarlett has who you are as a woman and enveloping that essence. So she says extended her range of talents to include budding singer. Her debut of being the face of Dolce & Gabbana The Make Up, “it’s album Anywhere I Lay My Head was released last year to mixed a celebration of femininity. I enjoy being a girl. I like being feminine reviews and failed to make an impression on the music scene. The and celebrating that part of myself. Some girls are uncomfortable collection of songs includes one original score and 10 covers of Tom with being girls. They don’t know how to be in their bodies but that Waits tunes with guest vocals by a number of musicians including was never for me.” Scarlett even goes so far as to say that women David Bowie. So what made Scarlett decide to leap into music? “I had shouldn’t be scared of embracing being able to have fun doing all this golden opportunity to record and thought I would do maybe an things girly. “I think some girls are afraid of make-up because they album of standards, because I’m not a songwriter. I’m a vocalist.” don’t know how to apply it properly, so they just don’t wear it,” she Second time around she teamed up with Pete Yorn, an American pop says. “I always tell my friends that if the make-up doesn’t look good, singer to release her second album titled Break Up, and it seems that you can always just wash it off.” Josh Harnett was the catalyst for the album. The songs which were Scarlett certainly knows the importance of relating to a brand and actually recorded in 2006 cast memories back on her time spent with Dolce and Gabbana quite clearly saw this trait. “We wanted to capture the heart-throb. So with two albums under her belt the star reflects the essence of the glamour of Hollywood and at the same time we on the projects and whether it would be worthwhile to idly continue wanted to have a face with whom women could easily identify,” ambling down the music path. “I don’t think I’d do covers again, said Domenico. “Elegant, sophisticated, beautiful.” The inspiration so it’d be a project that I have to dedicate myself to. I feel like that’s is a mix of the modern Marilyn together with the Dolce&Gabbana something for the future.” woman, who is glamourous, confident and somewhat sensual. With no signs of slowing down it seems inevitable that this Scarlett seems to be oozing Marilyn-esque appeal of late. She’s highly talented musician, model and movie star is on track to set to play the Hollywood star in My Week with Marilyn. While becoming the next iconic name in Hollywood. “No, being an icon with those luscious lips, blonde bob, curvaceous body and blue eyes to me is something that comes from time and years, and I think she may look a lot like Marilyn, does Scarlett relate to the famous I feel probably 50 years away from,” she pauses. “From being an icon. actress? “Personally? No, no, no, no.” The film, which focuses on the Hopefully!” making of The Prince and the Showgirl, will see Scarlett personify the vulnerable Ms Monroe. This is perhaps why Scarlett doesn’t associate with the actress herself, considering that off screen she is highly confident and self-possesed, which she attributes to her upbringing. “My mother is a very confident woman. She’s beautiful and she always loved fixing herself up and wearing make-up and doing her hair. I wanted to be like her. And since nobody made me feel self- conscious, I was a confident kid.” Fortunately this allowed Scarlett to maintain a semi-structured life off camera as well as maintaining some form of normality at home. As far as Scarlett is concerned this means keeping her private life private which recently caused a media frenzy. After a whirlwind romance with Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett tied the knot in September last year which set the paparazzi and gossip queens’ tongues a-wagging. But as far as she is concerned it is nobody else’s business. “I guess I try to be under the radar. I’m not a flashy kind of person. I don’t walk around town in five-inch heels, I try and live as normal a life as possible.” Which in Scarlett’s eyes means not opening up about life and love as a celebrity. In the past she has been linked with fellow actor Josh Hartnett as well as Jack Antonoff. A member of the band Steel Train, Jack is notoriously known for his song Better Love, which is about pining for the actress. Rumours also surfaced about a relationship with musician Justin Timberlake, after she starred as his love interest in his What Goes Around Comes music video, but whom she refuses to admit any romantic connection with. 110 emirates woman October 2009
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  • 14. BEAUTY Insider knowledge Long live beauty Ever wondered how starlets manage to always look red carpet-ready? There are a few long lasting tips that will have you glowing for weeks. We check out the experts in the Middle East that can help you fake it. The seven-day glow Being glamorously golden can be as much a part of a Luscious celebrity’s CV as their acting credentials. All you have to do is scan the red carpet. The best bit is you too can get locks a gorgeous glow that will set you in stead with the likes Ever wondered how Katrina Kaif, of Jennifer Aniston. But don’t be mistaken for thinking Cheryl Cole or Heidi Klum always any old faux tan will do the trick, one false decision and manage to have picture perfect hair in you could very well be sporting the colour of a just the right shade? Maria Dowling basketball. knows their secrets. Straight from the US, Fantasy Tan is one of the A hairdresser for 21 years, Maria original and leading spray tans on the market. The knows a thing or two about colour, bronzing mist is so good it is contracted by Disney, Sony and she delivers every time. Working and Universal Studios for their celebrities making it one Luminous skin from her salon in Dubai she continues of the hottest spray tan products available. Introduced to transform the looks and lifestyles of Hollywood blonde Kate Bosworth is known to Pastels Salon, Dubai by Ferne Lategan, Fantasy Tan is women with colour and style. That is to have one of the most luminous leading the airbrushing trade in the city. “The difference if you can get in to see her. The rich complexions in Tinseltown – always treading WRITTEN AND COMPILED BY ShANNON WYLIE AND ANITA quADE. PhOTOS: AfP PhOTO. gETTY IMAgES is you can actually choose what colour you want. Most and famous of Dubai have her on the red carpet with a flawless face. fake tans are available in medium to dark but with speed dial and the fashion crowd wait Everyone needs a helping hand when it Fantasy Tan you can custom mix your own months for an appointment. But ask comes to looking their best and the key is colour,”she explains. Lasting around seven days, the anyone who’s been there, it is well keeping skin in tip-top shape with regular tan will be perfect for a light winter glow or a worth the wait. visits to a skin professional. bronzed beach beauty look, whatever the season. The beauty of a good colourist is Many of the social set and Bollywood Forget bottle sprays and while the hot summer sun that they can recreate your whole stars have Dr Maria Khattar, from Dubai’s may have retreated leaving a serious temptation to look to perfection and this season Aesthetica Clinic, on speed dial. She is the bake on the beach in the cooler light of day but in the colours of choice are blonde or woman wonder acclaimed around town fact the search for that perfect golden anything dark. If you’re not for reviving dull complexions and turning tan has stopped at Pastels. naturally these shades, it takes the back the clock. www.pastels-salon.com work of a master hairdresser to She appraises a client’s age and skin maintain. Although colours don’t Month-long lashes type and devises a plan to get them glowing, which can include treatments fade as fast, you won’t end up with rusty orange instead of that auburn Perhaps the only real secret to longer, thicker and curlier lashes are false ones. Forget mascaras, including peels and mesotherapy to help redness you so richly desired and Hollywood’s most glamorous know how to do it properly with the least amount of hassle and fuss but maintain a natural lustre. she’ll even match the correct shade with maximum results. Think of Jennifer Lopez’s perfect batting lashes and Victoria Beckham’s For those who need a little more help of colour to your face. But don’t be stunning stare. It’s no wonder these women constantly look perfect. All they do is wake up and walk with problem skin including open pores fooled into thinking that a fresh out the door, with minimal make-up required. Voila. Yes, you can apply your own lashes, which leave and pigmentation, she recommends dose of dye will fix all of your hair clumps of glue stuck to your lids and that only last one occasion but why bother? It’s amazing the fractional resurfacing lasers. dilemmas and have you looking like difference false eyelashes can make to your appearance and Sisters Beauty Lounge in Dubai knows “I would recommend the Pixel xl by Nicole Kidman. “Looking after your how to make it happen. Their trained staff are able to create the lash factor you require. Not only does Alma lasers and RF Pixel which are a hair and scalp is as important as wearing false lashes open the eye, they also enhance your look from a washed out housewife to a prime treatment for acne scars,” she says looking after your skin,” says Maria. brazen beauty depending on the type of lash you get. While getting a helping hand from an With winter encroaching and the tendency for hair to Sisters Beauty Salon use Lash Perfect from the UK. The false eyelashes come in various colours and expert is ideal, Dr Maria says the basics of dry out it is vital to give your locks the nutrients they require. lengths to suit any individual eye shape and colour. Individual lashes are adhered to your original a healthy lifestyle, good nutrition and Coming highly recommended by Maria Dowling are the Kerastase In- lashes and for six weeks you’ll have perfect bat-worthy lids. That and you’ll notice a significant proper hydration play a role in salon treatments designed to nourish and moisturise your hair as is the decrease in the time you need to spend applying make-up. For a dramatic look the full fit is used maintaining healthy, radiant looking 47 Panpuri Detox treatment which deeply cleanses and removes any build starting at Dhs600 while a half fit starting at Dhs200 will ensure your lashes look skin as well. Contact Dr Maria at up of products. Your locks will be forever preened and lush. natural yet full of volume. www.aesthetica.com www.mariadowling.com www.sistersbeautylounge.com