It is often said that people join a company but leave a boss. A boss is an important element of your worklife. This book offers insights on the type of bosses at the workplace and what change is needed in your attitude and behavior to make the relationship work.

1. What your boss really wants
from you
15 Insights to Improve your
relationship
Steve Arneson

2. Steve Arneson is an executive
coach and he draws the insights
for this book both from the people
he coaches and also talking to the
bosses.
Steve worked for PepsiCo and Yum
and is rated as one of the top 100
thought leaders on leadership.

3. Your relationship with your boss is
a necessary relationship. Your
boss is the most important person
in your work life.

4. A lot of people fall into the ‘victim
mode’ when it comes to the boss.
They blame the boss for all their
failings. These people create a
story of the boss that fits their
world view and this story never
reflects reality.

5. We remember bosses who had
significant impact on our careers
and performance.

6. If you do a role for 2-3 years, it is
likely you will have at least 15 to
20 bosses in your career. So, you
must invest to understand your
boss better.

7. Good bosses typically have your
interests at heart, they want to
develop you and are comfortable
with you being a star and
presenting and getting credit for
good work. They push you to be
seen on stage.

8. The best boss story has many
dimensions : good direction,
empowerment, feedback(positive
and challenging),recognition, a
mentoring relationship, and
opportunities to grow and
develop.

9. The worst boss dimensions are :
poor delegation, insecurity, hiding
information, no recognition, no
feedback, unwilling to share the
stage, hogs all the limelight in any
setting, no empowerment.

10. Study your boss
1. When is he/she most approachable?
2. What is his/her preferred management style?
3. What behaviors does he/she reward?
4. What is he trying to accomplish in this role?
5. What is he/she worried about?
6. What is his/her reputation in the company?
7. Whom does he/she respect?
8. Where is his/her influence?
9. What is his/her relationship with his/her bosses?
10. What is his/her primary motivation?

11. How much can you challenge your
boss in group meetings. Very few
bosses take candor in a meeting.
Value those bosses, you will get
one in your career of 20 bosses
like that. It takes guts to accept
the truth.

12. Know your boss’s preferred style
of keeping up to speed ,how he
works and how you can fit your
style with his.

13. What is your boss’s truth on time?
Is he punctual, does he value
things to start and end on time. If
a boss in unpunctual, it is difficult
to manage him/her because
everything gets held up. A good
boss gives his people
predictability by being on time.

14. If you have a good boss, he will
have an agenda, an agenda of
what he is trying to achieve at the
workplace with team, with
culture, with results and with the
partners.

15. All bosses are worried about
something. Do you know what
your boss is worried about?

16. Your boss’s priorities are the most
important signal of what he wants
from you. If you don’t know your
boss’s priorities, please study how
he spends his time, that will give
you enough evidence of his
priorities.

17. If you want to know your boss’s
reputation , look at him closely. Are
people comfortable with him in
meetings, do they look forward to the
interaction with hope, pay attention
to how he talks about others, how he
talks about failures, these all point to
integrity and reputation.

18. If he respects people who
challenge the status quo, then he
is giving you enough opportunity
to push back but take it forward
with an answer.

19. Make a list of the qualities your
boss respects. You will see this
play out consistently.

20. On a single page ,plot the
relationships of your boss with
people in the orgn, people outside
, etc. In that list see how you can
participate and play out.

21. Reputation is about how people
see your boss and influence is
about how he gets things done.

22. What is his relationship with his
bosses, is there respect for his
work ethic, his conduct? They are
critical if you need to benefit from
him.

23. There are a number of common
boss motives – job security, career
advancement, money, risk
aversion, results, wanting to build
something that lasts, desire to be
popular, desire to do the right
thing.

24. One of the best ways to determine
what your boss really wants from
you is to look at the relationship
from his/her point of view.

25. How does your boss see you?
• What does he/she value about you?
• How vital are you to his/her mission?
• Where does he/she think you need to
improve?
• How does she/he talk about you to others?
• What is her/his history with you?

26. Write down the qualities of an
ideal employee that your boss
looks for and measure yourself
versus that list. That will give you
clues to manage yourself.

27. Always look at how the
relationship with the boss started,
how it evolved and where it is
now.

28. The most important adjustment
you need to make is in your
attitude towards the boss.

29. Your attitude towards your boss is
an open book, people sense it in
your body language, your tone of
voice, your facial expressions and
your body language.

30. Managing the relationship with
your boss needs 51 % from you, it
is not a 50-50 equation.

31. Building better relationships with the boss.
Development Oppty Attitude adjustments Visible behaviors
Aligning and sharing
the boss’s objectives
Look at your own style and
insecurities.
Build trust with the boss by being
open and truthful
Support the boss and his plan
Stop endless debates
Align with the work
Demonstrate that you are
fully on board
Move the relationship
to a better future
Stop creating the wrong story
about your boss
Improving the relationship is 51 %
my responsibility
Others notice my attitude towards
the boss, I need to be conscious.
Stop complaining abut the
boss
Get to know the boss on a
personal level
Tell the boss your true
feelings
Become a positive
supporter
My success is tied to his/hers. I
cannot be successful without
his/her success.
Spend time with the boss in
non pressure situations
Give him both positive and
balanced feedback.
Be public in your support
and not superficial.

32. The 4 common poor boss profiles
are : 1. the insecure boss, 2. the
ego driven boss, 3. The control
freak boss, 4. The personal career
focused boss.

33. You have the responsibility of
building the right positive
equation with your boss, Go for it.