Presentation for living with a disability book
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Living with a Disability: Finding Peace Amidst the Storm is the first of three books. Attached is a presentation that will be posted on u-tube in the coming weeks. The slides introduce the book and gives a brief overview of it....
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Presentation for living with a disability book
- 1. Dr. Susan Stuntzner PhD, LPC, LMHP, FAPA, CRC, NCC, DCC University of Idaho – Coeur d’Alene Counseling Association of India
- 2. Every story begins with a journey, mine began several years ago, long before I ever really knew what was taking place….. The Book Writing Journey: *The beginning of the road ahead *Influential people *An inner desire that was not be ignored *A personal and ethical obligation *The power of reflection
- 3. PART 1: Discovering the Hurt that Binds Us PART 2: Making the Choice to Heal PART 3: Starting a New Life – Finding and Utilizing Resources PART 4: Working with Professionals – Building Good Relationships
- 4. *This chapter is a brief look at my life and journey following the advent of disability. It takes the reader through the early days of my injury and the road that followed. *From a personal standpoint, it shares experiences related to: *Early rehabilitation *Changes in friends, social relationships, and interpersonal encounters *Lessons learned about self and life after going back to college *Personal barriers, fears, or life issues and fears that had to be addressed *How to move forward in a positive way *The information provided lays the foundation of experiences and feelings that accompany disability in a personable and easy-to-understand fashion.
- 5. *Language is very powerful. It can be used to hurt or to heal. Words are said and language is used too often, in Western society, without much thought given to the ways it may affect people emotionally, personally, psychologically, and/or spiritually. *Persons with disabilities are a group of people who understand the power of language, words, and descriptive phrases all too well, particularly since they have long been on the negative end of such interactions and occurrences. *In an effort educate, enlighten, and help people (i.e., persons with and without a disability, loved ones, professionals) information shared in this chapter is related to the: *Power of language *Impact of other peoples’ word and actions *Messages conveyed about those speaking (What their lack of acceptance may mean for persons with disabilities) *Stigma and prejudice projected toward persons with disabilities *Fact that “not knowing” is not an acceptable excuse *Reality that making change and using appropriate language isn’t that hard
- 6. *Societal attitudes, when gone awry, are often difficult to “prove” but many persons with disabilities know the face of negative views, treatment, and stigma. However, when people ask that their rights not be “violated” or simply respected they are seen as “not coping well” or in an undesirable manner. *Negative societal attitudes have been a part of history and affected how persons with disabilities have been viewed and treated. Persons with disabilities are afforded an opportunity to determine how they want to deal with them. *This chapter was written to help persons with disabilities and professionals understand that * societal attitudes are not about the individual; they are about the other person; * unfavorable treatment has been a part of history, but it also varies across cultures and societies; * negative attitudes and expectations continue to exist; * persons with disabilities can help themselves by recognizing the attitudes cast their way; and * persons with a disabilities always have the ability to reclaim control of their life.
- 7. *When people are not treated well, fair, or equitable, they are faced with a choice. Will they react and perhaps do something they later wish they had not? Or, will they make another choice; one that is more constructive and affirming? *A part of the challenge of living life well following disability is determining when to act versus when not to. Not taking action to change something should not be construed with “never” making a change. *To shed light on this ambiguous and sometimes confusing issue is chapter 4. In it, the author discusses: *socially appropriate behavior and knowing “when too much is too much!” *choice making and the price of “giving in.” *importance of being a part of the solution (i.e., strategies for better coping, teaching people without disabilities how you want to be treated).
- 8. *Chapter 5, is devoted to helping persons with disabilities take a look at the hurt that binds them and prevents them from moving forward. While it is a journey, no person seems to enjoy, it is an important part of the healing process. *Since the process of learning to cope and adapt to disability varies from person-to-person, this chapter was written to provide persons with disabilities and professionals information, strategies, and exercises to aid in this process. *Topics explored throughout the chapter include: *Learning to Accept One’s Disability (i.e., developing a framework) *Finding One’s Sense of Spirituality (i.e., recognizing it, uncovering road blocks, nurturing spirituality) *Getting in Touch with Thoughts and Feelings *Unveiling Your Personal Assets *Doing the Work to Change
- 9. *Life is filled with complexities including barriers and issues we all must face. Living with a disability is an experience that adds additional layers and concerns. Yet, persons with disabilities are left on their own to often to figure out “how to help themselves.” *Living well with a disability shouldn’t be left to the belief that people “will pull it together” if given enough time. Part of this is related to the reality that living with a disability is a unique, complex experience that is often misunderstood by “outsiders.” *Chapter 6 contains information pertaining to helping persons with disabilities go deeper into their thoughts, feelings, and experiences (like a road map) so they can take charge and effect change. Some of this includes: *Knowing Thyself and What Ails You *Being Willing to Do Something Different *Moving Past Your Fears *Overcoming Life Obstacles (i.e., emotional, psychological) *Getting into Action and Building the Life You Want
- 10. *Forgiveness is an area that has rarely been discussed or applied to persons with disabilities and their experiences. Yet, forgiveness appears to have much applicability and relevance. *In an effort to assist persons with disabilities and professionals working with them understand the value of forgiveness and its relevance, chapter 7 discusses the following: *Meaning of Forgiveness *Forgiveness as a Means to Improve Personal Functioning *Rationale for Considering Forgiveness *Research to Support the Practice of Forgiveness
- 11. *Figuring out what we want our life to look like and to become is a process. While some may know exactly what that is to be, many may not. When disability is factored into a person’s ‘life plan’ forging a path or vision may feel even more complex. *Chapter 8 is focused on taking charge of one’s own life by: *visualizing it and becoming clear of what a quality life might be; *gaining clarity of short and long-term goals; *identifying issues or barriers that impede personal progress; *becoming resilient; *taking action to develop the life you want; and *planning for recreation and retirement.
- 12. *Being an effective self-advocate is important for many persons with disabilities. Yet, the fact remains that many do not receive training or support in learning to a self-advocate. Some may discover on their own how challenging it can be to ask for what you need (i.e., an accommodation, service), to be heard, and to successfully maneuver challenging people or situations. *Learning to self-advocate is a process; it is not something most of us do or master easily but it can get better and more fluid with education and practice. *In an effort to change this trend, chapter 9 includes information pertaining to: *Barriers, Professionals, and Self-Advocacy *Employers and Businesses *Knowing When and How to Self-advocate *Service Systems for Persons with Disabilities (i.e., Who can help?) *Being Able to Honor and Respect Your Personal Rights
- 13. *The final chapter was written with “helping professionals” in mind. This focus was taken because most do not receive training about disability, people living with one, or associated issues. The exception to this are those who come from a rehabilitation counseling background or one that specifically focuses on working with persons with disabilities. *So, to be a more effective helping professional, counselors are afforded the opportunity to learn more about disability, how it may affect peoples’ lives, and strategies they may employ. To help them do that content covered includes: *Effect of Categorization and Labels *Acknowledging Our Own Views and Perceptions *Issues and Concerns of Persons with Disabilities *Strategies to Enhance Your Effectiveness (i.e., professionals, businesses)
- 14. 1. This book was written for individuals living with a disability and professionals working with them. It was intended to educate people about some of the experiences associated with disability and to “break the silence.” It is my belief that persons with disabilities can benefit by knowing they are not alone and that there is hope. 2. Information is delivered in an “applied” fashion and people are given access to discussion questions, exercises, models and examples to help explain the concepts. 3. People are encouraged to explore the information and choose what is applicable or relevant. If something is not that is okay too, as all experiences of living with a disability tend to vary somewhat. 4. Those interested in knowing more can purchase the book online at Amazon.com or they can contact the publisher directly: Counseling Association of India: caindia@gmail.com. People who have questions may also contact me directly.
- 15. Susan Stuntzner PhD, LPC, LMHP, CRC, NCC, DCC Assistant Professor Rehabilitation Counseling and Human Services Program University of Idaho – Coeur d’Alene 1031 N. Academic Way Coeur d’Alene, ID 83814 Email: stuntzner@uidaho.edu Phone: (208) 292-1409 Website Information: www.therapeutic-healing-disability.com Counseling Association of India: caindia@gmail.com
Notes de l'éditeur
- In the beginning, this started on day 3. I knew my life would be forever different but I did not know how. I felt I could handle it and was given a second chance. I was very pleased with my recovery but my reality did not match that of people around me. How can this be? And so the journey began. I went on with life still trying to “find” that right mix of what would make people comfortable and social situations less uncomfortable. Nothing worked. Life and the experiences that followed entailed a lot of “trial and error”. In addition, I have always been one who had something to say, just ask my parents. I was never one to run out of things to say once you got me started. Throughout my life, I have known people who said, “there are those who need to hear what you have to say. Some of this came while I was studying forgiveness and obtaining my doctorate. I came to see that there were no interventions but people are just expected to move on. “Oh how I wish there had been something like this to guide my path.” I took time to reflect on the information shared with me during my dissertation. I noticed I was interested in “what works.” Others told me I need to speak up more as I have very good ideas. Still others told me that our job as researchers is sometimes to be contradicting because without it change would not occur. As I neared the end of my dissertation, I saw how the study gave people a voice. I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that this was the time to start writing that book. I had no idea what it would become just that I had to do it. I thought back on all my experiences and I said, “If I don’t do this, who will?” Since that time, I have become more aware of the voice some foreign countries give to PWDs and their family and that “voice” was something not given here. I had known this for quite some time, but it took me a while to truly believe it.
- Discovering The Hurt That Binds Us (PROBLEM) 1. My own story and while I told it (it was hard to open up) – I had to follow my inner desire 2. The power of other people’s words and actions 3. Societal attitudes and disability 4. Making Choices – What is appropriate vs what is not? Should we always be expected to give in? When is too much to much? Tools and strategies for dealing with uncomfortable situations Making The Choice To Heal – Finding Peace (SOLUTION) 5. Understanding the hurt that binds you (emotions, thoughts, coming to terms and learning to accept your situation, the role of spirituality) 6. Confronting the obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want (know yourself and be willing to confront your personal obstacles, personal identity) 7. Learning to forgive yourself and others (why should I forgive? What does it mean to forgive? Who does it benefit?) Starting A New Life – Finding and Utilizing Resources – 8. Focusing on the development of a quality life. - What mental barriers get in your way? (i.e. personalizing the statement). - Resiliency and being an active participant in your life. Working With Professional – Building Good Relationship 9. Learning to advocate. When and how? 10.A chapter to the professional
- Much of living with a disability was learned through the school of hard-knocks. There were no interventions or supportive approaches available at that time. There was no internet. Experiences, realities and strategies to improve life were not readily abundant; even today they are not well-known as far as where to find them or how to move past them. For these reasons, such a book which also included pieces of my story was necessary to lay the foundation and to open the topic to people who are striving to understand that which is now taking place for them because of disability. Additionally, the process of learning to cope with a disability and its associate life changes should not be so ambiguous and confusing; however, due to the lack of resources and knowledge of how to help oneself the process of coping with disability and making sense of the changes that occur is often lonely, ambiguous, and rather unclear. This book was written to help change that trend.
- Negative language and descriptors have long been a part of civilizations and societal beliefs. And while, progress has been made compared to these early beginnings, treatment of persons with disabilities is far from where it needs to be (including language and phrases used to refer to them). Why is it that persons with disabilities are somehow supposed to just accept these occurrences without speaking up or asking that they be treated the same as any one else, as a person. Still, too often, persons with disabilities are viewed in a negative manner when they correct people for their language or personal slights. It is almost as if they are not supposed to “have expectations “ for how they are to be treated. The words expressed are really about the person saying them than anything else; they have the ability to shed light on the inner working and soul of the individual, but often times this is forgotten or not paid attention too.
- Related to language and treatment of persons with disabilities are societal attitudes about disability and what it must mean to live with one. Change is occurring and some societies are more open-minded and accepting than these earlier times but this does not mean that people are treated well or equitably across cultures.
- A part of living well with a disability is deciding which battles to fight or address and when to decide “just not for today.” If all issues and injustices were fought there would be no inner peace or joy because the number of barriers and injustices are so plentiful. Rather, each person must decide for oneself if an what issues need to be addressed and then decide on the ways in which this will be done. What is appropriate for one context or audience may not be for another. Again, not always an easy solution and pursuing this road is one that may require effort. Having said that, it is a worthwhile road to travel and it is important to effect societal change and positive treatment and acceptance of persons with disabilities. An easy way that people can effect change is to decide on the ‘how’…This refers to a person’s strategy or approach for change (i.e., being a positive role model for persons with and without disabilities, one person at a time, speak to large groups, educate others, etc.). Each of us has strengths and things we are good at. When we find what they are we can use them to effect positive societal change. Teaching people how we want to be treated can be challenging and it requires that each of us know how it is we desire to be treated. If we do not stand up for ourselves, who will? One way we can effect change in our own lives is to set boundaries and expectations in relation to how others are to treat us. Some of these strategies are explored further in this chapter.
- Take time to explain briefly the complexities of learning to cope and adapt to disability. Reiterate that it is a process and where a person is now, or at one year does not dictate where he or she will be in 5, 10, or 15 years. Coping well can be viewed as an “evolving” and changing process. When discussing the topics try to go into each one a little bit to give the audience an idea of what it entails.
- Chapter 5 began the unearthing process. Chapter 6 gives people a chance to go further into understanding themselves and their difficulties. When people know what is taking place they can then do something about it. Key Sections: 1. Knowing Thyself and What Ails You – This is about going deeper and identifying thoughts and feelings, our contribution, and whether or not it is working. It is about uncovering deep, hidden thoughts and feelings. 2. Being Willing to Do Something Different – When we see what ails us, we often uncover the basis of such concerns is fear. Fear can motivate or immobilize a person. When people see what they are doing to hold themselves back they are encouraged to do something different. 3. Moving Past Your Fears – See Above 4. Overcoming Life Obstacles (i.e., emotional psychological) – This section is about becoming an instrument of change in one’s own life. It is a section to help people identify if they have emotional and/or psychological obstacles. Also discussed in this section are some strategies people may use to help them move past these. 5. Getting Into Action and Building the Life You Want – A part of this involves learning to accept yourself, to see disability as an integrated part of who you are, building a positive support system, and planning for the future.
- Forgiveness has been studied with increased interest and intensity in the past 25 years. Forgiveness research studies are demonstrating what many people figure out simply by practicing it in their everyday lives that being the reduction of negative thought and emotions, increase in positive ones and behaviors. Yet, it has rarely been considered as an approach or strategy of value for persons with disabilities. This is unfortunate because many of the negative experiences encountered by persons with disabilities may benefit the use and application of forgiveness. Chapter 7 was written to o help people and professionals better understand forgiveness as a healing or therapeutic approach among persons with disabilities.
- It is the author’s belief that creating and developing the life one seeks following a disability should not be left chance or happen haphazardly. Too often, it is hoped or expected that persons with disabilities will figure out all they need to know to live life well following a disability. This chapter is devoted to helping people find their way or path in life. Change and the life we seek is not something that happens for most of us, it is through something we must do and a series of choices and actions to create a better life. Chapter 8 provides some strategies and options of what people can do to help them create the life they seek. If time, try to discuss each of these points a little more in depth.
- 1. Barriers, Professionals, and Self-Advocacy – Some barriers are self-created while others are affected by the people around us. Well-meaning professionals sometimes create additional barriers and may need to be addressed. An important part of self-advocacy is separating these two from one another and deciding on strategies and approaches one can use to reduce their effect. It is important for PWDs to keep in mind that not all professionals are the same and to not allow one or two poor experiences affect everything else. 2. Employers and Businesses – Barriers and concerns occur in the world of business and employers. An important part of learning to be an effective advocate is to be aware of what some of these are and to make a conscious effort to be a part of the change and/or to educate employers about you need. 3. Knowing When and How to Self-advocate – Self-advocating is not easy or natural for many people. If we “fought” every battle we would be exhausted; thus each person must decide for him or herself what issues are worth advocating for and when is the right time to do so. Deciding to not do so at one point in time does not mean a person never will, because some situations are not the right time for the individual. 4. Service Systems for Persons with Disabilities (i.e., Who can help?) – This is a section introducing people to some of the agencies and services available. Some people get “stuck” in their process because they do not know where to go or who to speak with. 5. Being Able to Honor and Respect Your Personal Rights – Above all, regardless of what you experience learn to find your inner voice and to trust yourself. At times, it may be hard to challenge or stand up to another person but if you don’t do it, who will? So the point of interest becomes exploring and practicing strategies that can help you honor yourself.
- Discuss briefly each of the points covered in the chapter.
- Persons with disabilities and professionals need to know what may take place as the experience of living with a disability can feel very lonely and isolating.