8. #onetimeatAgileCamp
At Work
We want to meet the expectations of others and do a good job
We need our jobs
In our personal relationships
because relationships are important to us
In general
We want to please other people
We fear being disliked and rejection from others
We say yes to make other people happy
9. #onetimeatAgileCamp
Can add a lot of stress to already stressed lives
Builds up anxiety and frustration
A feeling of disappointment in yourself
Feel angry and disappointed at the person who made the
request of you
Can have physical effects of depression, high blood pressure
and low self esteem.
10. #onetimeatAgileCamp
Yes. I love it. Let’s go.
Yes. It’s the best alternative.
Let’s go.
Yes. It’s the best alternative,
but let’s consider how.
Yes. It’s okay. But I like other
options better.
Yes. I’m nodding my head, but
I’m not convinced.
Yes. I’m nodding my head, but
I’ll actively block after this
meeting!
No.
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Start with the Basics!
Use the language of the person you’re talking to
Make sure you explain any acronyms
Your goal in a conversation isn’t to “Win” Or “Score points”, It’s
to get everyone to a shared goal
Ask a lot of questions, stay curious!
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Labeling & Mis-labeling
Restate their phrasing, “It sounds like…”
Ensures both conversation partners understand what the
other person is saying
Sometimes mis-stating what we understand gives others the
chance to restate what they mean.
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Find a partner
Each person think of a time when
they agreed to something or said yes
to something, when using no would
have helped the conversation.
Take turns, describe the scenario to
your conversation partner, and
practice how using no effectively
could have changed the conversation
Each person has 4 minutes for their
scenario
Protect each other from incorrect decisions
Provide examples for context
Ask for examples for each item
many people saying no is a hard thing to do, especially if you consider yourself a person who is always looking to please others and demonstrate that you can take any task at any time.
However your inability to say no can hold you and the business back.
What are other scenarios where people would have a hard time saying no?
Someone in a position of power
A stakeholder on a project
A perceived expert
What are some others ways yes may not be a positive?
Audience participation. When in a meeting or discussion with your co-workers and you agree, which one do you really mean? Be honest. Would starting with no help you start a conversation to a better outcome.
Use examples
Recovering “Yes” man
What are some other examples of extreme questioning?
Anyone want to share?
How do you think you will use this in the future?