Agile Camp 2018 - Letting No Work For You

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Fall 2018
Brett Bushman and Theresa Kruicka

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How can
work for

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Incorrect
Decisions

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 At Work
 We want to meet the expectations of others and do a good job
 We need our jobs
 In our personal relationships
 because relationships are important to us
 In general
 We want to please other people
 We fear being disliked and rejection from others
We say yes to make other people happy

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 Can add a lot of stress to already stressed lives
 Builds up anxiety and frustration
 A feeling of disappointment in yourself
 Feel angry and disappointed at the person who made the
request of you
 Can have physical effects of depression, high blood pressure
and low self esteem.

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 Yes. I love it. Let’s go.
 Yes. It’s the best alternative.
Let’s go.
 Yes. It’s the best alternative,
but let’s consider how.
 Yes. It’s okay. But I like other
options better.
 Yes. I’m nodding my head, but
I’m not convinced.
 Yes. I’m nodding my head, but
I’ll actively block after this
meeting!
 No.

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Start with the Basics!
 Use the language of the person you’re talking to
 Make sure you explain any acronyms
 Your goal in a conversation isn’t to “Win” Or “Score points”, It’s
to get everyone to a shared goal
 Ask a lot of questions, stay curious!

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Labeling & Mis-labeling
 Restate their phrasing, “It sounds like…”
 Ensures both conversation partners understand what the
other person is saying
 Sometimes mis-stating what we understand gives others the
chance to restate what they mean.

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Extreme Questioning
“do you want this project to
fail?”

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 Find a partner
 Each person think of a time when
they agreed to something or said yes
to something, when using no would
have helped the conversation.
 Take turns, describe the scenario to
your conversation partner, and
practice how using no effectively
could have changed the conversation
 Each person has 4 minutes for their
scenario

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