Reflecting back on my dad, nearly 30 years after he died.

1. And their children, and God
FATHERS

2. IT IS TRUE:
• We get our concept of God largely
from our relationship with our fathers

3. GOD AS FATHER: NO PROBLEM

4. MY DAD AND GOD HAD THINGS IN COMMON
• Size
• Kindness
• Dreaming big
• Unconventional
• Not given to rules
• Cut people slack
• Loved just about everybody…

5. HE WAS A ROMANTIC
• Letters to my mom for two years
• Lofty dreams, but in touch with
common man

6. HE WASN’T A SMOTHERER
• Taught us to be independent
• Provided just in time
• Physically affirming
• Wrestled
• Toucher, hugger

7. HE BELIEVED IN HIS KIDS
• Each different
• Each loved

8. HE LOVED OUR MOTHER

9. HE WAS AN AND MAN
• Business AND church planting
• Preached AND drank beer
• Taught Sunday School AND
partied
• Loved old people AND young
people
• Saints AND sinners especially

10. SO, HAPPILY, I HAD NO CHALLENGES WITH GOD
BEING MY FATHER

11. What was his childhood like?
WHERE DID MY DAD GET THIS FROM?

12. HE HAD FIVE SIBLINGS
• Three half-brothers
• Two younger
brothers
• Cubby
• Charles

13. HIS PARENTS WERE ESTRANGED WHEN HE WAS
A TEENAGER

14. A YEAR OR SO LATER HIS DAD CONTRACTED
CANCER
• Left for
England, died at sea
• Leaving everything
to the three half
brothers
• And nothing to his
present wife and her
three sons

15. BREADWINNER AT 15 YEARS OLD

16. THEY MOVED INTO THE HARBOR

17. NEDDY RAN A “MISSION TO SEAFARERS”

18. HE STAYED THE COURSE

19. LATER HE WENT TO WAR IN NORTH AFRICA

20. AND WAS CAPTURED AFTER ONE WEEK

21. HE GOT ILL, WAS SHIPPED TO ITALY…

22. NEXT FOUR YEARS AS
A POW

23. CAME BACK & MARRIED A GIRL WHO WAS JUST 8 YRS
OLD WHEN THEY MET (HE WAS 19)

24. THEY BUILT A HOUSE IN LLANDUDNO

25. LATER MOVED TO JOHANNESBURG

26. TRADED “SUCCESS” FOR MEANING

27. There were a few…
DISAPPOINTMENTS

28. WAS NOT REALLY SUCCESSFUL, IN THE
WORLD’S EYES
• Just avoided bankruptcy after a robbery
• Often battled to meet payroll
• Continual health challenges
• The “next year” that was going to be better
seldom came

29. LOSSES
• Dad
• Mom
• Son
• Illness
• Business

30. CONTINUED RISKING, VENTURING
• Cuthbert’s
• Symingtons
• Santa Barbara, Coral Coast
• Lana Knit, with Cubby
• Terese: Gowns of distinction
• Insurance: Colonial Mutual
• Marlyn Press ~ Fast Print

31. CARED FOR HIS FAMILY, WIFE, OTHERS

32. Looking back 30 years later
LESSONS FROM MY DAD

33. DISAPPOINTMENTS CAN MAKE YOU BETTER, OR
BITTER

34. LONELINESS IS NOT DESTINATION
• Pain + loss
Loneliness
•  Sinfulness

35. OVER-ANALYZING OF PARENTS:
•2/10 Therapeutic
•8/10 Narcissistic

36. MANY OF US DON’T NEED THERAPY
• We need to remember correctly.
(Or we need a bridge
And a good pair of walking shoes.)

37. SOME OF US DO HAVE GENUINE
CHALLENGES WITH FATHERS
Having said that….

38. • Inattentive
• Distant
• Absent
• Uncommunicative
• Demanding
• Erratic
• Harsh
• Abusive
WE KNOW MANY WITH FATHERS WHO HAVE
BEEN …

39. MAKING HARD TO RELATE TO:
•God my father????

40. WOMEN CAN MAKE BAD MEN/HUSBAND CHOICES

41. MEN HAVE AN INABILITY TO MAKE REAL PROGRESS
(NOT THE HALLMARK CARD JUNK BELOW)
• Surrounded by peers at school
• Go to college
• Come to cities looking for spiritual fathers
• Don’t find them and remain kidults: the income
of adults, the relationships of fraternity brothers
• The 1 John progression is stunted

42. WHO WILL CALL THEM OUT?
• Osmosis
• Special events
• Wife
• Man camp

43. WHAT CAN WE DO TO GET OUR VIEW OF
FATHER FIXED?

44. THANKFULNESS AND GRATITUDE TO FATHERS
• Who lacked fathering
• Who grew up in a
different era …
• When men did not talk…
• Let alone talk about their
feelings…
• For you.

45. OWNING WHAT YOU HAVE
• Instead of what you didn’t get from your
father

46. INNER HEALING
• God’s magical erasure of time
boundaries
• Going back there, being there, healing

47. DREAM A NEW DESTINY

48. MAKE THE TRANSITION FROM
•victim to victor

49. IT MATTERS LESS HOW BAD YOUR FATHER
WAS
But more how good your
Father is

50. PERSONAL REFLECTIONS
What can we do about gaps in our father figures?

51. 1. IF YOU ALLOWED…
• Hurt to become loneliness
• Loneliness to linger
• Lingering to become wallowing

52. 2. GIVE UP YOUR IDENTITY AS A VICTIM
• Cannot serve two masters
• Cannot live an integrated life with a bifurcated
identity
• It is a little-known trick of satan that every
generation thinks they had the toughest time
• If “victim” has been your friend, say goodbye…
today!

53. 3. FORGIVE YOUR FATHER
• Half the things you hoped for he didn’t
know you wanted
• Choice to forgive
• See his face, hear him say “I love you”

54. 4. WRITE OUT A FATHERS BLESSING
• What would you like
to hear from your
father?

55. 5. HAVE A FATHER, FRIEND READ THE BLESSING
TO/OVER YOU. RECEIVE IT.

56. 6. EMBRACE GOD AS FATHER TODAY
• Tell him, “I am glad you are my
father because…”

57. 7. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR EARTHLY FATHER
• Honor your father and your mother
• Call
• Letter
• Card
• Email
• Gift… something
BUT NO BAD NEWS SNUCK IN BETWEEN !

58. IN SUMMARY
1. Repent
2. Get a new identity: victor
3. Forgive your father
4. Write the blessing you want
5. Have someone read it
6. Embrace God with gratitude
7. Communicate honor, appreciation

59. Grateful for the affirmation of my wife and children
who have made it easier to be a dad.
IN CLOSING: I AM A BLESSED FATHER

60. Happy Fathers Day
BRETT JOHNSON
WWW.ABOUT.ME/THEBRETTJOHNSON