Your quest is to be happy…or famous

1. Do you want to be happy…or Famous? – 28th
January 2016
“The rich and the poor have a common bond; the Lord is the maker of them all” (Proverbs
22:2).
A little girl was asked what she wanted to be when she grew up. She replied, “Famous!” Why
are so many people obsessed with fame? Our society equates fame with significance. The more
famous you are, the more significant you are in others’ eyes. Fame is defined as having a
widespread reputation, usually of a favorable nature; renowned; celebrated. In today’s world if
you are not famous, then we at least try to be friends with someone who is famous so you can
tell others, “I’m friends with the president of the United States!.”
We need to ask ourselves what keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think
its fame, money and hard work… you're not alone. But, according to psychiatrist Robert
Waldinger, you're mistaken. As the director of a 75-year-old study on adult development,
Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. He shares
three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills
wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life. This long spanning study, over 70 years involving
over 1000 people from different walks of life, reveled a very important understanding for all of
us.
This study reveled that the lessons that were learned was not Money or fame or harder work! It
was the relationships with others. It stated the ‘Good relationships” kept people happier and
that as the relationships got better, so did their happiness in life in direct relation to same.
There were three great learning’s from this study. The first was that our social relationships or
connections were needed and good for us. The second was that loneliness “kills”. It turned out
that those people who had good relationships or were socially connected with family, friends
and community were happier and that they were physically healthier and lived longer…than
those who were “not connected”. They found that loneliness was toxic…that those who shied
away from relationships were unhappy and that even their health declined more rapidly in
midlife and the study also showed that they lived shorter lives!
Loneliness is not simply being alone because one can be lonely even in a crowd, in a marriage
or even at work. Therefore it is not the number of people you see or whom you see around
you…but it is the quality of one’s relationships that matters. As an example one can be lonely if
ones marriage is filled with high conflict constantly. One may have hundreds of so called friends
and yet at a time of conflict within one’s self, as a family matter or even conflict in the society, if
one don’t have a family member or friend who can simply say “ I am with you”…then that
person is truly lonely! On the contrary those who were living in the midst of good warm quality
relationships, it made them feel protected and contributed immensely to a quality lifestyle.
Although our tendency may be to say “I don’t need anybody,” actually it is the other way
around because the fact is that we always “need somebody”! In the study it stated that those
who had poor health had poor relationships. Good relationships give us great happiness that

2. results in a healthy life. It even revealed that those who were in unhappy relationships had
suffered more pain and suffering at times of ill health than the ones who had ongoing strong
and happy relationships. This clearly shows us that good relationships not only protect our body
but also our brains! A person who has securely attached relationships feels mentally protected
because they can count on the other and thus they could stay sharper without allowing worry
to take precedence, at times of need or sickness.
Our marriage cannot always be a bed of roses. There are ups and downs but the important
aspect is that both individuals need to be certain that they could count on the other…always!
They found that the people in the study who fared the best were those who always pursued
good relationships with others. With regard to our relationships with others the apostle Paul
teaches us: “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ
Jesus”(Philippians 2:5).
For a relationship to develop one needs love. Without which there cannot be a good
relationship. We can learn from 1 Corinthians 13 :1-3,“If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of
angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the
gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can
move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give
over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. This is made
clear in the study that good personal relationships are a key requirement for a healthy and
happy life… But in order to develop that important connection with one another we need love.
We need to understand that poor relationships are due to lack of love within us and that we
can change the situation to the better through our own actions… This is one main reason that
Jesus taught us so much about love! He is the author of love. He is love personified. We can
learn in John 13:34-35, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so
you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love
one another.”
We must clearly understand that God isn’t interested in us being rich and famous in the world’s
eyes, but He is interested in us being faithful in His eyes. Therefore to do this, we must change
the audiences we want to please. Instead of living to please others, as Christians we need to
live to please the Lord...He said love one another because it will make the world a much better
place! “Therefore our ambition should be to live a life that is pleasing to Him. We can
understand the reason in the same passage "And he died for all, that those who live should no
longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.f”(2 Corinthians
5:15).

3. “The rich and the poor have a
commonbond;the Lord is the maker
of them all”(Proverbs22:2).
Your Quest is tobe happy…or