Ch. 7 Managing Conflict in Relationships

1. Real Communication
by Dan O’Hair and Mary Weimann
Managing Conflict in
Relationships

2. Conflict
• Conflict is more than an
argument.
• Conflict is a negative
interaction between 2 or
more interdependent people.

3. Conflict
• Conflict management is how
we engage in conflict.
• It is how we address
disagreements with our
relational partners.

4. Conflict
• Unproductive conflict is
conflict that is managed
poorly.
• It is conflict that has a
negative affect on those
involved.
• It can cause health
problems.

5. Conflict
• Productive conflict is conflict
that is managed effectively.
• We find a way to manage
conflict, but don’t always
find a resolution.
• It can foster healthy debate,
lead to better decision-
making, and spur
relationship growth.

6. Reasons for
Conflict
•Misunderstandings and
inaccurate perceptions
of a situation.
•If costs outweigh the
rewards in a
relationship, conflict
may arise.

7. Reasons for
Conflict
•When goals are not
compatible, conflict
can occur.
•Provocation is
purposeful
instigation.

8. Provocation
• Aggression is verbal abuse or physical threats.
• Identity management are insults that threaten your identity or
attacks to your religion, values, race, or ethnic group.
• Lack of fairness is when your shared resources are
unbalanced.
• Incompetence is someone doing poor work.

9. Influencing Forces
• Imbalance of power
• Attitudes like fear or
distrust
• Communication boundary
management is an
avoidance to discuss
certain topics with
certain people.

10. Influencing Forces
Communication Climate is an
atmosphere that conflicts
produce.
• uncertain climates
• defensive climates
• supportive climates

11. Influencing Forces
Culture determines how
conflicts are handled.
• individualistic cultures
emphasize personal
needs.
• collectivist cultures
emphasize group
identity.

12. Influencing Forces
Channel choice can influence
our communication.
• Flaming is posting
messages that are
intentionally hostile or
insulting online.
• Cyber-bullying is abusive
attacks over electronic
channels.

13. Managing
Conflict
•Escapist Strategies
avoids the issues.
•Challenging
strategies promotes
your point of view like
assertiveness.

14. Managing
Conflict
•Cooperative strategies
•benefit the
relationship and
serve mutual
goals.

15. Managing
Conflict
•Cooperative strategies
•Avoid Verbal
Aggressiveness
•Probing, asking
questions
•devil’s advocate
•negotiating
alternatives

16. Conflict Outcomes
• Compromise is giving up a
little to gain a little as a
quick resolution.
• Trading
• Random selection or
flipping a coin.
• Beware of too much
compromising on one
side.

17. Conflict Outcomes
• Win-win solutions please both
parties.
• Lose-lose solutions solves
conflict but no one is happy.
• Separation removes you from
the relationship.
• Decide to agree with the other
person.