An example of my work from the Fall 2015 school semester at BYU-I. Software used: Microsoft word, Powerpoint, Indesign, Illustrator, and Photoshop. Climbing Ivy Designs is my brand.
2. N othing could compare to the joy
of finding out I was pregnant after
almost two years of trying to conceive.
This little girl fulfilled my ultimate
dream of motherhood; a dream I didn’t
think would ever happen. During my
pregnancy, I nicknamed her Ladybug.
But the joy turned to anguish when our
little Ladybug, our precious baby Ella,
passed away just hours after birth.
In the wake of her death, I struggled
to keep from drowning in despair. My
husband and I clung to the gospel and
found solace in the love of family and
friends. But my grieving mind became a
target for the adversary’s deceptive poison.
My faith hung by a thread, my arms were
empty, and my heart drained like a sieve
until I couldn’t bear any more breaking. I
tried so hard to trust in the Lord and in
things, both in heaven and in earth; be-
lieve that he has all wisdom, and all power,
both in heaven and in earth; believe that
man doth not comprehend all the things
which the Lord can comprehend.”
Ella needed a body and through my
husband and me, she received one.Then
God called her home. I won’t understand
His purpose until the next life.
In the mean time, instead of
thinking Ella was taken from
me, I can think of my precious,
perfect little girl as a gift, a
beacon waiting to welcome
us to exaltation.
The second lie: I was
denied my miracle.
After so much fasting and
prayer, the outcome was
still different than what we
wanted. That doesn’t mean
God said “no.” He only
said “not yet.” We still got our miracle.
Because of Jesus Christ, Ella is mine
forever. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in an
October 1999 Conference talk stated:
“Some blessings come soon, some come
late, and some don’t come until heaven;
but for those who embrace the gospel of
Jesus Christ, they come.” My miracle will
come. But like the Nephites in 3 Nephi 19,
I need to labor exceedingly to be where
Christ is. Where Ella is.
The third lie: I was unworthy to
be a mother.
This was perhaps the most heartbreaking
lie of them all. But the truth came still and
small: God gave Ella to us because of our
worthiness. In moments when the veil
is thin, this child can reach through and
touch the hearts of her family,
bringing us closer to the light.
Christ is the way, the
truth, and the life.
I still miss my Ella every day.
Though I’ve healed and gone
on to have more beautiful
children, I still get those
periodic stabs of sadness. But
every day I rely on my Savior
to remind me the truth: He is
the beginning and the end,
the light of the world, glorious,
eternal Being. And yet he
condescends to sit a while with a lonely
woman who misses her baby.
God lives. He loves us. He has prepared a
way for us to live eternally with those we
hold most dear. These truths transcend
all else. He taught me these truths
through His gospel, through the Holy
Spirit, and through Ella, my perfect child,
my little Ladybug.
Author lives in Mesa, Arizona, USA
Believe in
God; believe
that he is,
and that he
created all
things, both
in heaven
and in earth.
“The Atonement
also satisfies the
debt justice owes to
us by healing and
compensating us
for any suffering we
innocently endure.”
Elder D. Todd
Christofferson
Ladybug
Loss, the Atonement, and overcoming the adversary’s lies
my little
His love and mercy. But at the end of the day, I
still missed my baby.
It isn’t fair. Why did this have to happen?
I kept asking questions like these over
and over. But it didn’t stop there. Horrible
thoughts bombarded me: Ella’s death was
my fault. I’d done something wrong.
It got worse.
God denied my miracle. He loved me but
not the way He loved everyone else. I wasn’t
good enough to deserve what I wanted. Ella
was taken from me because I was unfit to
be her mother. I would have messed up.
Caustic, embittering lies like these
continued to brew in my mind. Satan
doesn’t only use sin to frustrate our
progress. He uses fear, guilt, envy, lies—
anything that will make us turn away from
our Father and dwell on our misery.
The first lie:
Ella’s death was my fault.
No matter how much I wish it, I can’t change
what has happened. But it was never my
fault. Mosiah 4:9 states: “Believe in God;
believe that he is, and that he created all
by Amy L. Standage
Magazine spread
3. Typography
You write
Because “sometimes, the world you create
on the page seems more friendly and alive
than the world you actually life in.”
-Fenoglio, Inkheart
7. Event flier Race begins at Red Mountain Park
Pre-register at www.runforwishes.com
Group discounts available
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February 27, 2016 7 am – 11 am
Run for
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Costume 5k & Fun Run
Support the Make a Wish Foundation
by running as your favorite character!
