My idea of an ideal first date would be going out to eat at a somewhat nice restaurant, without having our phones, so we have to actually talk to each other. ... “My ideal first date is doing something that we both love and find fun. It is good to see the other person being carefree and just let loose

1. Does the thought of a first date fill you with dread? Does your memory of
the last one make you cringe with embarrassment? If so, you’re not
alone. Few people find dating simple and straightforward, even (and
perhaps especially) in the age of Tinder and Match.com.
The good news is that, with the right strategy, you can avoid some of the
more common pitfalls and anxieties. With Valentine’s Day almost upon
us, we had some fun and applied the to first dates. Here’s what we came
up. See if you agree.

2. 1. Don’t overcomplicate things
The first date with someone you know little or nothing about is full of
uncertainty. Don’t make things more complicated by trying to arrange the
perfect romantic dinner, or planning a whole day out. Instead, keep
things short and simple. A cup of coffee in a central location will make it
clear fast if your date is someone you would like to spend more time
with. And if things go well, the coffee could turn into a lunch or dinner,
adding some spontaneity into the mix.

3. A successful first date needn’t be complicated.
2. Don’t stress unnecessarily
A bit of anxiety is natural on a first date – in fact, it’s half the fun. But
you’ll want to eliminate the kind of stress that will make you flustered and
your date uncomfortable. Remember, the more relaxed you feel, the
more comfortable your date will be around you. One simple trick is to sit
at a right angle to your date rather than face them directly. This takes the
pressure off trying to fill every pause in the conversation, and you can
both do a bit of people-watching instead.
3. Cut down the texting, and meet in person
The conversation might have started on an app or a website, but it
shouldn’t stay there for too long. Texting can certainly give you a sense
of another person, but to really get to know each other, you need more
than messages on a screen: facial expressions, body language and tone
of voice are just as important. So don’t waste time on a virtual
relationship – go out there and meet the real person behind the words.

4. To understand someone, you need to meet them in person.
4. Prepare some first date topics
You wouldn’t go for a job interview without preparing in advance, so why
should a first date be any different? Think about the sort of questions you
could ask, and some interesting answers to the questions that may come
your way. Don’t treat the first date like an actual interview, though, or
you’ll set alarm bells ringing. For some great first date topics and
questions, see this article.
Another way to boost your confidence is to do a bit of ‘power posing’ in
advance. This means standing for a few minutes in an assertive posture,
hands on hips (think of a superhero), so as to trick the brain into feeling
more confident. Just don’t do it on the date itself, or you’ll look ridiculous.
5. Up your listening game
We all love to talk about ourselves – but don’t assume your date finds
you as interesting as you do. In fact, making it all about you sends the
wrong signals. On the other hand, you can’t just switch off and leave all

5. the talking to your date – that’s also a recipe for failure. The trick is to
listen intelligently and respond appropriately, such as when we
summarize a point and ask a follow-up question, e.g., “So, you spend
three months in Argentina, how was that?”.
The trick is to listen intelligently and respond appropriately.
6. Create a strong first impression
First impressions count. It only takes a few seconds for someone to form
an opinion about you based on your appearance and demeanor. A great
way to make a positive first impression is to smile. Smiling is one of the
habits of likable people, a sign of happiness and a trainable skill. By
smiling more, not only will you start feeling better, you will also project
some of that positivity onto those around you. It’s all about those good
vibes!
Also, take some time to dress well, but stay true to your usual style, and
dress appropriately for the occasion. You wouldn’t turn up to a cafe in a
tuxedo, but neither should you turn up to a cocktail party in shorts and
t-shirt.

6. 7. Be true to yourself
Dating in the 21st century can feel like a competition, and perhaps it has
always been that way. But too often we measure our worth against those
we perceive to be ‘winning’, with the result that we try to imitate and
improve on what others are doing instead of finding our own way.
But dating shouldn’t be about winners and losers. It’s about finding
someone you connect with and care about; someone who makes you
happy and who you can make happy in return. This is only possible
when you stay true to yourself and let your authenticity shine through.
Top tip for a first date? Be yourself.
8. Complete your successful first date with the right
follow-up
So you felt a connection, the conversation flowed and you had lots of
things in common. Terrific. Now what? A successful first date is only as
good as the follow-up, and this means arranging another meeting. You

7. could do this right away, but it’s probably better not to put someone on
the spot.
Instead, why not send a message soon after just to say what a great
time you had, and suggest a time and place to meet again. Don’t expect
an immediate response, and don’t be impatient or else you’ll seem
desperate. Remember, if you went into your first date with a smile, a bit
of confidence, and a willingness to listen, then you’ve probably already
set yourself apart from the competition.
Follow up a successful first date with a simple text message.
Perhaps the most important thing, though, is to remember that success
in dating, as in life, doesn’t come handed to you on a plate. If your first
date didn’t work out, don’t let it get you down, but learn from the
experience, get creative, and draw up a new strategy. Remember,
there’s plenty more fish in the sea. In fact, there’s a whole blue ocean
out there.
1. Don’t overcomplicate things

8. The first date with someone you know little or nothing about is full of
uncertainty. Don’t make things more complicated by trying to arrange the
perfect romantic dinner, or planning a whole day out. Instead, keep
things short and simple. A cup of coffee in a central location will make it
clear fast if your date is someone you would like to spend more time
with. And if things go well, the coffee could turn into a lunch or dinner,
adding some spontaneity into the mix.
A successful first date needn’t be complicated.
2. Don’t stress unnecessarily
A bit of anxiety is natural on a first date – in fact, it’s half the fun. But
you’ll want to eliminate the kind of stress that will make you flustered and
your date uncomfortable. Remember, the more relaxed you feel, the
more comfortable your date will be around you. One simple trick is to sit
at a right angle to your date rather than face them directly. This takes the
pressure off trying to fill every pause in the conversation, and you can
both do a bit of people-watching instead.

9. 3. Cut down the texting, and meet in person
The conversation might have started on an app or a website, but it
shouldn’t stay there for too long. Texting can certainly give you a sense
of another person, but to really get to know each other, you need more
than messages on a screen: facial expressions, body language and tone
of voice are just as important. So don’t waste time on a virtual
relationship – go out there and meet the real person behind the words.
To understand someone, you need to meet them in person.
4. Prepare some first date topics
You wouldn’t go for a job interview without preparing in advance, so why
should a first date be any different? Think about the sort of questions you
could ask, and some interesting answers to the questions that may come
your way. Don’t treat the first date like an actual interview, though, or
you’ll set alarm bells ringing. For some great first date topics and
questions, see this article.
Another way to boost your confidence is to do a bit of ‘power posing’ in
advance. This means standing for a few minutes in an assertive posture,

10. hands on hips (think of a superhero), so as to trick the brain into feeling
more confident. Just don’t do it on the date itself, or you’ll look ridiculous.
5. Up your listening game
We all love to talk about ourselves – but don’t assume your date finds
you as interesting as you do. In fact, making it all about you sends the
wrong signals. On the other hand, you can’t just switch off and leave all
the talking to your date – that’s also a recipe for failure. The trick is to
listen intelligently and respond appropriately, such as when we
summarize a point and ask a follow-up question, e.g., “So, you spend
three months in Argentina, how was that?”.
The trick is to listen intelligently and respond appropriately.
6. Create a strong first impression
First impressions count. It only takes a few seconds for someone to form
an opinion about you based on your appearance and demeanor. A great
way to make a positive first impression is to smile. Smiling is one of the
habits of likable people, a sign of happiness and a trainable skill. By

11. smiling more, not only will you start feeling better, you will also project
some of that positivity onto those around you. It’s all about those good
vibes!
Also, take some time to dress well, but stay true to your usual style, and
dress appropriately for the occasion. You wouldn’t turn up to a cafe in a
tuxedo, but neither should you turn up to a cocktail party in shorts and
t-shirt.
7. Be true to yourself
Dating in the 21st century can feel like a competition, and perhaps it has
always been that way. But too often we measure our worth against those
we perceive to be ‘winning’, with the result that we try to imitate and
improve on what others are doing instead of finding our own way.
But dating shouldn’t be about winners and losers. It’s about finding
someone you connect with and care about; someone who makes you
happy and who you can make happy in return. This is only possible
when you stay true to yourself and let your authenticity shine through.

12. Top tip for a first date? Be yourself.
8. Complete your successful first date with the right
follow-up
So you felt a connection, the conversation flowed and you had lots of
things in common. Terrific. Now what? A successful first date is only as
good as the follow-up, and this means arranging another meeting. You
could do this right away, but it’s probably better not to put someone on
the spot.
Instead, why not send a message soon after just to say what a great
time you had, and suggest a time and place to meet again. Don’t expect
an immediate response, and don’t be impatient or else you’ll seem
desperate. Remember, if you went into your first date with a smile, a bit
of confidence, and a willingness to listen, then you’ve probably already
set yourself apart from the competition.
Follow up a successful first date with a simple text message.

13. Perhaps the most important thing, though, is to remember that success
in dating, as in life, doesn’t come handed to you on a plate. If your first
date didn’t work out, don’t let it get you down, but learn from the
experience, get creative, and draw up a new strategy. Remember,
there’s plenty more fish in the sea. In fact, there’s a whole blue ocean
out there.
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