We are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves and those told to us by others. Negative narratives can lead to fear, low self-esteem, and armor that prevents vulnerability. However, it is possible to change one's internal story and rewrite harmful narratives in a positive, strength-based way. This involves practices like gratitude, mindfulness, acts of courage, and focusing on personal growth and relationships. An empowering narrative sees our inherent worth and brings more love and meaning into the world.

2. We are a bundle of stories

3. At external level, we are
influenced by cultural myths and
stories
Our stories are variation of fundamental archetypes.

4. Myths provide role models
• Human beings are the
only specie born too
soon: situation of
dependency
• Myths are like marsupial
pouch
• If you destroy the myths,
you destroy the culture
(cf buffalos for Native
Americans)

5. We are conditioned by media
messages

6. We are educated by stories and
fairy tales

7. Stories run through our families

8. • Pick 3 tales you remember from your childhood
• Pick 3 stories from your family you have heard
many times
• What are their core message?
• Draw your positive genealogy tree with the
superpowers of your antecedents

9. At internal level, we are a sum of
life stories and events

10. And we are trying to make sense of
them and connect the dots
backwards

11. And that is very specific to
human kind
• We are the only beings to perceive our
time on earth as a story.
• We constantly interpret what we see
and create stories out of the reality.
• We crave for meaning.
• Suicide rates actually plummets in
time of war since conflict is a way of
finding meaning.

12. Your brain is a novelist
• It orders, classifies, selects, excludes,
forgets events and stories.

13. Your identity is a fiction
• Who are you? Your job? Your family? Your
name? Your community?

14. We create stories to include and
to exclude
• To federate people towards a goal, around values,
against an enemy.
• To build nations and communities.
• School manuals from 70 countries have been compared
on the story of the ”discovery” of America. None tells
the same story.

15. And bad narratives are lethal

16. Novels civilize the world
• Listening to the
narrative from the
other point of view
develops your
tolerance, your
narrative empathy.

17. Each narrative is the product
of a choice. Conscious or not.

18. • Which negative narratives have you heard
about your community and have hurt you?
• When was the last time you listened to a
story which challenged your stereotypes?
• Identity list map

19. Because we live in a world full of
fear

20. Fear is collective
• The original fear of separation from our
home, family, love partner, group.

21. And fear is a very useful tool to
control people

22. Our entire culture, our states and nations
have originated from war

27. Yet, most of the time, we are
driven by fears
• Fear of the other
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of suffering
• Fear of shame
• Fear of loss

28. • What is your deepest fear?

29. And especially the fear of
vulnerability
• “I want to experience your vulnerability
but I don’t want to be vulnerable.
• Courage in you sounds like inadequacy in
me.
• I am drawn to your vulnerability but
repelled by mine.
• Vulnerability is the last thing I want to see
in me but the first thing I look for in you.”

31. And the fear makes us develop
armors…
• Imagining the worst
• Being perfect and
pleasing at all cost
• Numbing with work,
alcohol, sleeping pills,…
• Disconnexion, isolation...
• Blaming others
• Cynicism or agressivity

32. • I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon
your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
“I’m not screwing around. It’s time.All of this pretending and performing –
these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from
feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.”
• Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I
understand that you needed these protections when you were
small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you
secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and
belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.
• Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of
you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other
people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage
and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and
love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.
~ Brené Brown

33. • Which is your armor?
• When you experience shame, what is your
reaction?
– Move away (withdraw, hide, silence),
– Toward (please),
– Against (Aggressive, shame others).
• When was the last time you used your
armor?

34. Fear traps us into negative
narratives
• You are flawed.
• You are bad.
• You are not worthy of
love and belonging

35. And women are even more
targeted by negative narratives
You are fat
You can’t please your partner
You are a bad mother
You are not enough
Women don’t know
how to drive
Women lie
Women change opinion
all the time
Women are emotional

36. These constant messages have a
huge impact in terms of self-esteem

38. BIG GIRL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
90%OF ALL WOMEN
WANT TO CHANGE
AT LEAST ONE ASPECT
OF THEIR PHYSICAL
APPERANCE
81%
of ten year old girls
are afraid of being fat.
And only 2% actually think
they are beautiful. 02
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Funny Weight Loss
Special Thanks to
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Source: Women Don’t Ask / Oxfam / EU

39. And the imposter syndrome
appears

40. My gremlins.com

41. We can identify seven types of
gremlins
THE GIVE UPPER
THE WORRIER
THE FAULTY
THE WHATEVER
THE JUDGE
THE BLAMER
THE LOSER

42. • Which gremlins are most present in you?
• What do they say?
• What is your ”sticky path”?

43. That is why we need to make a
very conscious effort to change
our internal narrative

45. Positive Psychology is grounded in the belief that people want to lead meaningful and
fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within them, and to enhance their experiences of
love, work, and play (Positive Psychology Center, 2016).

46. Positive psychology is focusing
on the scientific study of human
flourishing

47. DNA
50%
Environment
10%
Your choices
40%
Your positivity capital

48. Switching from scarcity to
abundance mindset

51. • Do you have a scarcity or an abundance
mindset?

52. Embrace your imperfections

53. In a world where scarcity and shame
dominate, vulnerability is subversive.

58. • How much do you dare?
• What was your boldest challenge lately?
• Set yourself 3 challenges for the coming year.
• What are your superpowers?
• Write your epitaph or eulogy
• Ask 10 people around you to tell you moments or
circumstances in which they saw you thriving.
• Visualize success situation
• Imagine your 80th birthday: which 3 positive decisions led
you there?

61. Power posing

62. Do you smile enough?

64. • How is your body language?
• Do you open up or do you close ?
• Practice the power pose.
• How often do you smile?
• Have you practiced laughing yoga?
• Let’s sing and dance! #fitnessmarshall
• Clown: receive applause. Look into the eyes.

69. In politics…
Source: UN Women

71. It helps to rewire your brain

73. Mindfulness helps you to not
identify with the gremlins
• You separate yourself from your thoughts and
emotions.
• You avoid the sticky path.
• Anything towards which you direct your
attention gets stronger.

74. • Let’s meditate for 10 minutes!
• Raisin exercise
• Breathe in. Breathe out. Bell.

75. Gratitude is powerful

76. Gratitude creates a spiritual
alchemy
• It dissolves fears and ego, our need to
possess and control.
• It makes us more generous and tolerant.
• It develops our souls.
• You did XXX.
• That made me feel XXX
• That satisfied my need of XXX

78. • Write a gratitude journal
• Letter to 5 people you want to thank
• Gratefulness visit
• Gratefulness meditation
• Gratefulness before meals

82. Rule number 1 of improvisation?
Never say no.

83. • Deepen your relationships: 36 questions app
• Improvise: What happens with Jaume?
• Free hugs
• Feedback speed dating
• Draw your relationships map
• Give a gift with no reason
• Guardian angel
• Benevolent look
• Qualities game: 10 you like. 10 you hate. 3 defaults so you love. 3
qualities so you hate. Out of 26 select 3 you are and 3 you are not.
You attract people with these 6 qualities.

84. The deepest system change

85. Trust as a high-yielding bet at TEDxCarthage
Trust is the cure for fear

86. The 5 love languages

88. • What is your love language?
• What is your partner’s? children’s?
parents’? Friends’?

89. Life as a spiritual path
• From fear
• Ego
• Judgment
• Negative internal
dialogue
• Loneliness
• I am different
• To love
• Trust
• Vulnerability
• Positive internal
dialogue
• Communion
• We are one

90. System change takes place from
the inside out

93. Declutter your space.
Declutter your mind.

94. • Plan a spiritual retreat
• Clean your space. Feng shui: Throw
things you don’t need.
• Set up morning / evening routines

95. Language is powerful

98. • How often do you insult yourself?
• What is your first thought when...
– A person is late to a meeting
– Somebody spills sth over you
– A date does not get back to you
– Your boss does not say hi

99. Accept compliments

100. Stop apologizing

101. Stop using shrinking language

102. • How do you accept compliments?
• Give compliments (box)
• Send a positive SMS every morning

103. Our language tends to be very
judgmental

104. We attribute the cause of the
conflict to the other
• But in reality you are responsible of your
feelings
• The others may trigger them but they are
not the cause.
• Anger comes from our judgmental
thoughts.
• Conflict comes from unmet needs.
• Judgment triggers auto-defense and
counter-attack.

105. Spark your emotional agility
• SITUATION: what happens
• PERCEPTION
• AUTOPILOT: Feeling
• REACTION: Behaviour
• KNOWLEDGE: evidence to prove what
you think

106. Four steps of non violent
communication
• When OBSERVATION (no judgment),
• I feel FEELING (no covered reproach),
• Because I need NEED (no strategy).
• So I would like PRECISE AND POSITIVE
REQUEST (no demand).

107. What do you feel?

108. Beginning anew steps
• First sharing your appreciation for the
other person.
• Then voicing regrets or apologies for the
hurt we might have caused in the other.
• Expressing what has hurt us in the other
person’s actions, speech or thoughts.
• And finally, asking for support regarding a
difficulty we are currently experiencing.

109. • List your most common judgments ( I hate
people who…). Then list your unmet needs in
front of them.
• Identify the SPARK of a recent conflict
• Apply CNV to a recent conflict you had
• Apply Beginning anew to a conflict
• Write a forgiveness letter

110. How do you reframe the
narrative?
• The power of narrative psychology

111. Which story do you choose?

113. “You enter the forest at the
darkest point, where there is
no path.
Where there’s a way or path,
it is someone else’s path.
Each human being is a unique
phenomenon.
The idea is to find your own
pathway to bliss.”

114. Flow is a state of being completely
involved in an activity for its own sake.
• The ego falls away.
• Time flies.
• Every action, movement,
and thought follows
inevitably from the
previous one, like playing
jazz.
• Your whole being is
involved, and you're using
your skills to the utmost.

115. What’s your manifesto?

116. What’s your bucket list?

117. • What’s your bucket list?
• Write down your manifesto
• Dream mapping: your life in 5 years
• Live a new experience: change habits
• Learn a new skill
• Do something altruistic
• Dare to do something scary
• Commitment letter towards oneself
• Create a habit or quit one: commitment for 21 days

121. We need new stories. Positive
ones.

126. • Draw your life ups and downs
– 3 ups
– 3 downs
– 3 inspiring people
• Find 5 trends in your life and events which justify it
• Tell a same story with 5 different perspectives / tones
• Which animal are you?
• Find a word which qualifies you best.
• Imagine you build a social business.