a little about conflict

1. By: Brenda CervantesBy: Brenda Cervantes

2. What o
A Conflict where the
state of opposition
between a person’s ideas
or interest have different
goals, objectives and
expectations.

3. Types of
ConflictsSimple Conflicts: is a conflict about a subject. It is a disagreement
over the importance of the subject.
Pseudo Conflict: this conflict happens when the communication
between the sender and the receiver is broken down. This can
lead to two different decodes that either the receiver or the
sender will get a different message.
Ego Conflict: a conflict that happens when the difference of
personalities of two people meet. This conflict is the hardest
because it included the personalities of others as well as their
dignities, self respect, their self esteem and pride.

4. Relationship Arguments:
NegativeStrategies
• Unresolved Issues: iswhen you blow an argument at theportion and went in and settled
you don't even remember how theargument even started
• Sensitive issue : would bewhen you do something in thepast and it just keeps
coming up again and again either someonecloseto you keep bringing it up or
significant other
• Garbage bagging: iswhen you arearguing about someparticular subject
then another oneisbrought up then another. Takeoneargument at atime.
• Poortiming: makesureyou areawareor your partner'sfeeling before
touching asubject that will haveto bediscussed not during morning rush for
example.

5. ypes of Behavioral Approaches to Conflict
Aggression :
Standing up for your personal rights,thoughts,expressions,feelings
and what you believe. A person who showing aggression has the
goal of winning. It could be in a direct or indirect way.
Nonassertive :
Nonassertive people avoid conflict. They do nothing to control the situation they are in. Not much is
said in an nonassertive conflict. For Example you are at a restaurant and you order a coke but
instead they give you ice tea instead of speaking up you drink the ice tea instead of your coke you
ordered.
Assertion :
A person in an assertive conflict will stand up for their personal rights, expressive
thoughts, their feelings and beliefs. The person in the assertion conflict will be
honest and express their opinion , they show appropriate behavior towards others.
Their goal is to have mutual communication, to give and get respect, play fair, and
compromise with the person they are in conflict with.

6. You are wrong but, it’s OK !!!!
We as human being we are always trying to be right. How we will
go to whatever extend to be right BUT it is ok to be wrong there is
nothing with being wrong yes we as human maybe embarrassed and
upset about being wrong but it is ok. The video Being Wrong by
Kathryn Schulz she explains how being wrong is like the Looney
Tunes cartoon where the coyote is trying to go after the road runner
and all of the sudden the road runner disappears and the coyote is
already on the tip of the cliff chasing after the roadrunner and the
coyote realizing he is no longer on ground but on mid air. That is
when you realize oh no I am wrong once you are on mid air and no
longer on ground that is when you realize you are wrong.
“So effectively, we all kind of wind up traveling through life trapped
in this little bubble of feeling very right about everything,” says
Schulz. We in reality we can be wrong about many things. When we
are wrong we learn and change.

7. Change of Mind
Changing your mind is something that we all do. It is ok to do.
Even when politics are speaking they may say one thing and
then change their opinion after. We all change our minds. We
experiment with our minds and that is the cause of the change.
As for politics when changing their mind people see it as a flip
flop which is a negative connotation they say it’s a sign of
weakness shown by the politics. But if there is change then it
could be a good thing because it is new information that could
be used for good. To try and experiment is a good thing
because you see what work and what doesn’t. Will there be
advantages to the change? What comes out of it ? How did it
improve ? Changing your mind helps us grow, it is new
information we learn as well as strengthen our minds.

8. Winning by Losing
According to Daniel H. Cohen there is a three part
model to an argument :
First Model : The dialectical model = arguments as
war. There is a lot of yelling and winning or loosing
the argument. This model isn’t helpful but it is how it
starts off.
Second Model: Arguments as Proof . Ask yourself
Does it work? Is it any good? Does it support the
conclusion? Is the support valid?
Third model : Arguments are like performances Know
what you are arguing, it is like having an audience.
Know your subject. Being able find new ways to
argue also helps

9. Tips to Staying Healthy: Argue in your Relationship
Arguing with your significant other is ok according to the Huntington post it is healthy to argue with
your love one at least once a week. The is the secret to a healthy relationship. According to an Indian
study a survey said that 44% of couple who argue are most likely to have a more open commination
relationship. If there isn’t much to argue about bickering here and there is also a maintains a healthy
relationship. Remember when arguing with your partner you have to upfront and not hold things in as
well as being truthful just so you don’t end up hurting each other.
Helpful Tips:
Take time: If the argument with your partner gets heated and to avoid saying things you will later
regret tell your partner you are very upset and you would like to be in the next room to just calm down
and then discuss the situation in a bit.
ONE ARGUMENT AT A TIME : make sure to fix one problem at a time. Don't bring up more than one
arguing because it will create a big mess.
Lets Not Get Personal : You learned this in grade school NO NAME CALLING you may end up
regretting it no matter how mad you are take a deep breath don’t allow yourself to name call.
KEEP CALM AND MAKE UP ;) : After a fight make up with your partner be lovey dovey some couple
have sex other prefer not to but show your partner some loving’.
BACK OFF THE “D” WORD DIVORCE : Once you mention the “D” for Divorce the cards are out in the
table from then on it all goes downhill for the relationship