This document discusses discerning God's plan for one's life through making choices. It presents five assumptions: 1) God is real and present, 2) God has a plan for each person's uniqueness, 3) God actively guides people, 4) People are capable of being God-guided, and 5) People's decisions impact God's work through them. It encourages examining deepest desires and feelings for clues to God's work, and outlines tools like discernment of consolations and desolations, and the Examen prayer for guidance. The overall message is that through releasing attachments, paying attention to promptings, and choosing among "competing goods," one can discern and follow God's will.

1. HOLY CHOICES
DISCERNING GOD’S PLAN
FOR YOUR LIFE

2. PART ONE:
LIFE’S PURPOSE, GOD’S PLAN
FUNDAMENTAL ASSUMPTIONS

3. ASSUMPTION #1:
GOD IS BOTH REAL AND PRESENT
There is nowhere God is not
(Ps. 139:7-12)

4. ASSUMPTION #2:
GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE
• His plan is to bring glory to Himself through
your uniqueness
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has
created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can
do the good things he planned for us long
ago” (Eph. 2:10)

5. ASSUMPTION #3:
GOD ACTIVELY GUIDES PEOPLE
“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord … “
(Psalm 37:23)
“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his
steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you
should go; I will guide you with My eye.” (Psalm 32:8)

6. ASSUMPTION #4:
YOU ARE TOTALLY CAPABLE OF
BEING GUIDED
God wants to guide you.
You have what it takes to be God-
guided.
You were both created and redeemed
with the capacity to be led by God.

7. ASSUMPTION #5
WE MOVE WITH GOD
VIA THE DECISIONS WE MAKE
The meaning of our lives flows from the
truth that God is at work in us
“to will and to act in order to
fulfill His good purpose.”
(Phil. 2:13)
OUR CHOICES AND DECISIONS ARE MEANINGFUL

8. HOW DO WE DISCERN THE CHOICES THAT
BEST KEEP US MOVING WITH GOD?

9. GOD’S WILL VS GOD’S PLAN
God’s plan will always be
within the realm of His moral will

10. DISCERNMENT IS ABOUT CHOOSING
BETWEEN “COMPETING GOODS”
“Which of my legitimate options
is most likely to release God’s
highest and best plans for my
life?”

11. GOD IS INTERESTED IN
* HOW I RESPOND
* WHO I BECOME
A MAIL CARRIER or a MISSIONARY?
MOVE TO ALASKA OR STAY PUT?
TAKE THE JOB OFFER OR TURN IT DOWN? TAKE FLYING LESSONS?
START THAT BUSINESS? PLANT THAT CHURCH?
REMAIN A STAY-AT-HOME MOM? WRITE THAT BOOK?
TAKE THAT STAND UP COMEDY CLASS?
DATE THAT GUY? GIVE THAT SACRIFICIAL DONATION?
VOLUNTEER IN THE YOUTH MINISTRY? TAKE A YEAR OFF FROM
SCHOOL?

12. THE KEY:
DISCERN WHERE GOD IS ALREADY AT WORK
IN YOU AND SEEK TO JOIN HIM THERE
“Jesus gave them this answer:
"Very truly I tell you, the Son can do
nothing by Himself; He can do only
what He sees His Father doing,
because whatever the Father does
the Son also does.”
(John 5:19)

13. HOW CAN WE DISCERN WHERE
GOD IS ALREADY AT WORK IN US?

14. LOOK FOR CLUES IN YOUR DEEPEST
DESIRES!
If you love God, there is a strong
likelihood that your DEEPEST
desires correlate with how God has
been at work in you and what He
has planned for you.

15. PAY CLOSE
ATTENTION TO YOUR FEELINGS
Your affective state
(feelings and intuition) can be of
assistance in your quest to discern
God’s movement in your life

16. IGNATIUS LOYOLA
- Lived in Spain some 500 years ago
- Grew up privileged, became a soldier
- Converted to Christ while recovering at home
from battle wounds
- Author of The Spiritual Exercises – still widely
used
- Founder of the Society of Jesus (Jesuits)
- Came to recognize that feelings could carry
spiritual meaning
- Developed principles of discernment

17. WHAT IS DISCERNMENT
(AND WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO
WITH OUR FEELINGS)?

18. DISCERNMENT: “DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN
OPTIONS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY CALLING
UPON GOD FOR ASSISTANCE” ( W Y D , P . 5 1 )
”Discernment is about noticing and
interpreting those deep currents of
feeling that shape what we want, which
in turn influences what we do”. Jim Manney

19. WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?

20. IMAGINE: JESUS IS HERE
WITH YOU IN THIS
MOMENT.
“WHAT DO YOU REALLY
WANT?”, HE ASKS
(NOW, CHECK IN WITH
YOUR HEART).
WHAT IS YOUR REPLY?

21. TAKE A FEW MOMENTS TO JOURNAL
ON THE QUESTION: “WHAT DO I
REALLY WANT?”

22. AT THE ROOT OF WHAT
I REALLY WANT…
If you love the Lord, your deepest desire
somehow expresses your longing to love, please,
and serve Him.
“What shall I return to the LORD for all
his goodness to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation and call
on the name of the LORD”
(PSALM 116: 12, 13)

23. FREE TO MAKE
THE BEST DECISIONS

24. THE GOAL
The goal: to become aware of our deepest
desires as an indicator of God’s plan for us.
This requires us to sift out distracting desires and
unworthy attachments.
Therefore, some things - even some good
things - will have to be released (de-selected)
in order to focus on the BEST.

25. TO DECIDE IS AN AWESOME THING
“CIDE”, Latin = to kill or cut off
• Decide
• Homicide
• Suicide
• Patricide
• Etc.

26. IGNATIUS: FOCUS ON FREEDOM
We are free to choose what
would bring about the most good and
best enable us to glorify God at this
time.
(A or B? Story)

27. CHARIOTS OF
FIRE (ERIC
LIDDELL)
“God made
me FAST,
and when I
run I feel His
pleasure”.

28. FREE TO GO
DEEP
Identify, release, and
move beyond:
• Disordered Desires
(Ignatius’ term)
• False limitations
• Other impediments or
distractions

29. “IGNATIAN INDIFFERENCE”
“In everyday life, then, we must hold
ourselves in balance before all created
things insofar as we have a choice and
are not bound by some responsibility.
We should not fix our desires on health
or sickness, wealth or poverty, success
or failure, a long life or a short one; for
everything has the potential of calling
up in us a more loving response to our
life forever with God.
Our only desire and our one choice
should be this: I want and I choose
what leads to the deepening of God’s
life in me.”
(David Fleming paraphrase, WYD – p. 54)

30. WHEN WHO I
AM
(IDENTITY)
AND WHAT I
DO
(ACTIVITY)
ALIGN WITH
GOD’S DESIGN
FOR ME…

31. THAT WHOLE “LET GO” THING

32. EVERYTHING THAT HAS COME BEFORE
CONTAINS THE SEEDS OF EVERYTHING YET-TO-
COME
“Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and
dies, it remains just one grain; it never becomes
more but lives by itself alone. But if it dies, it
produces many others and yields a rich harvest.”
John 12: 24 – Amplified Bible

33. SUPPOSED TO/NOT SUPPOSED TO…?
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
“Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
“Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”
“Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay them?”
For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things.
To Him be the glory forever! Amen.”
(Romans 11:33-36)

34. “I HAVE BEEN
PREPARING YOU
YOUR WHOLE LIFE
FOR NOW”
“Part of the
Recipe”
Your joys, skills,
pains, gains, losses,
mistakes, talents,
successes,
experiences,
struggles, dreams,
betrayals,
promotions –
release them into
GOD LOVES TO STIR YOUR POT

35. THE FIRST TASK IS TO “LET GO”
“Transition always starts with an ending. To
become something else, you have to stop being
what you are now; to start doing things a new
way, you have to end the way you are doing them
now; and to develop a new attitude or outlook, you
have to let go of the old one you have now… The
first task is to let go.” (William Bridges in Transitions)

36. YOU ARE FREE TO
CHOOSE AFTER
YOU
LET GO!
“The first task
is to let go.”
(William Bridges, Transitions)

37. WILLIAM BRIDGES: 1ST RULE OF
TRANSITION = TO LET GO
“We have to let go of the old thing
before we can pick up the new one –
not just outwardly, but inwardly,
where we keep our connections to
people and places that act as
definitions of who we are”.

38. CANDIDATES FOR RELEASE…
• Bitterness, anger, or hurt from the past
• Small-mindedness and self-imposed limits that are not from God
• Attachment to things
• Attachment to people
• False doctrines
• Ideas of how life “SHOULD” be
• Vows you have made (such as “I’ll NEVER go here, do this, be that”,
etc)
• Pronouncements others have made over you

39. ONCE WE LET GO…
• God can get the Last Word
• We will proceed toward our New Beginning
• We will feel it in our faith (stretching)
• There will be, for a time, an EMPTY SPACE (Wilderness)
• A strange kind of peace (that “surpasses
understanding”) may follow
• You will have no more excuses

40. IN YOUR JOURNAL:
WHAT WILL I RELEASE IN ORDER TO BE
MORE AVAILABLE TO THE HIGHEST,
DEEPEST AND MOST AUTHENTIC PATH
FORWARD?

41. RESISTANCE AND ASSISTANCE
(CONSOLATIONS AND DESOLATIONS)

42. OKAY. I’VE LET GO.
NOW WHAT?
* Keep PAYING
ATTENTION
* Remain FREE
TO CHOOSE

43. INTERIOR
AWARENESS
As I pay attention to
my feelings,
thoughts, and
intuitions I notice
TWO DISTINCTIVE
STREAMS
over time

44. TWO STREAMS…
CONSOLATIONS – thoughts, feelings, and experiences that
move me closer to God and others
DESOLATIONS – thoughts, feelings, and experiences that
take me away from the love of God and others

45. IGNATIUS OBSERVES…
These two streams have their origin in
two opposing spiritual influences
• The Holy Spirit who ASSISTS
versus
* dark spirits who RESIST
Each seeks to influence your
decisions, perceptions, and direction

46. TWO
COMPETING
AGENDAS
The Agenda of Darkness = to discourage you,
distract you, immobilize you, deplete you, and break
down your trust in God and love towards self and
others
The Agenda of Light (God) = to encourage you,
focus you, activate you, renew you, and increase
your trust in God and love towards self and others

47. THE HOLY SPIRIT…
…wants to speak to you, reveal things to you, and lead
you into what the Father is doing in your life.
He is your Advocate who Assists!
“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will
guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on His
own; He will speak only what He hears, and He will
tell you what is yet to come”
(John 5: 19, NIV)

48. “CONSOLATIONS”
(SOURCE = THE HOLY SPIRIT)
* Increases in faith, hope, and love.
* Experienced as peace, security,
encouragement, and joy
* Reveal the moving of the Holy
Spirit

49. CONSOLATIONS COME IN ALL SIZES:
SMALL, MEDIUM, AND LARGE!
Examples:
A beautiful sunset, a kind word, a surprising
provision, a miraculous healing, an uncanny
peace, a well-timed hug, a personal
breakthrough, a spiritual “aha!”, an open door, a
burst of creativity or inspiration, etc

50. DEMONIC (DARK) SPIRITS…
… want to lie to you, confuse you, distract you, lead you away from
what the Father is doing in your life.
“…He was a murderer from the
beginning, not holding to the truth, for
there is no truth in him. When he lies,
he speaks his native language, for he is
a liar and the father of lies”
(John 8:44).

51. “DESOLATIONS”
(SOURCE = DARK SPIRITS)
• Spiritual lethargy
• Experienced as God’s absence,
meaninglessness, self-pity
• Reveal the influence of
dark demonic spirits

52. DESOLATIONS COME IN ALL SIZES:
SMALL, MEDIUM, AND LARGE!
Examples:
An unfair accusation, a devastating
financial reversal, a burst of anxiety,
persistent guilt, a horrible accident, a rising
sense of fear, persistent thoughts of self-
destruction, a personal assault or bullying,
etc.

53. IGNATIUS ADVISES…
When you are in a PERIOD of consolation – DRINK IT
IN DEEPLY (you’re gonna need it!)
When you are in a PERIOD of desolation – AVOID
MAKING CRITICAL DECISIONS if you can.
Remember: Seasons of Consolation and Desolation
come and go. Neither lasts forever.

54. WHAT DO I DO ABOUT
CONSOLATIONS AND DESOLATIONS?

55. 1. DISTINGUISH (DISCERN)
BETWEEN THEM
Not “random” –
• Experiences
• Thoughts
Feelings
Check the source!

56. 2. TAKE NOTE OF, RELIVE, AND
EMBRACE YOUR CONSOLATIONS
”Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll
do best by filling your minds and
meditating on things true, noble,
reputable, authentic, compelling,
gracious—the best, not the worst; the
beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise,
not things to curse.
Put into practice what you learned from
me, what you heard and saw and
realized. Do that, and God, who makes
everything work together, will work you
into his most excellent harmonies” (Phil. 4: 8,
9 MSG)

57. 3. DISARM YOUR DESOLATIONS
”Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the
devil prowls around like a roaring
lion looking for someone to devour. Resist
him, standing firm in the faith, because you
know that the family of believers throughout
the world is undergoing the same kind of
sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to
his eternal glory in Christ, after you have
suffered a little while, will himself restore
you and make you strong, firm and
steadfast. To him be the power for ever and
ever. Amen.
(1 Peter 5:8-11)

58. GOD’S INVITATION
Right now, God is inviting you to move
with Him in some way.
You can sense this invitation within.
As you begin to respond you will feel
the tug of your attachments. You will
feel the pushback of your limitations.
You will fight this movement (even if
there are very attractive aspects to it)
because it is new and unfamiliar.
God says: “You are free to say ‘yes’. You
are free to let go. You are free to trust
Me. We will do this together”

59. WRITE A PRAYER IN YOUR JOURNAL IN
RESPONSE TO GOD’S INVITATION

60. TOOLS FOR DISCERNMENT

61. THE EXAMEN OF AWARENESS
A daily practice designed to guide
you into a place of recognize God’s
movement and grace in your life
(Consolations) as well as addressing
the resistances to God’s movement
in your life (Desolations).

62. EXAMEN = “DUSTING FOR
GOD’S FINGERPRINTS”
• The Examen begins by carving
out at least 10 to 15
undisturbed minutes.
- Take five “deep cleansing
breaths”. Let your occupations
of mind and heart go. Be
present.
- Think of your favorite way to be
with God.
- Invite the presence of the Holy
Spirit.
- Meet God in the moment.
- Consider “the love with which
God looks upon me”.
PHASE ONE:
PREPARATION AND
TRANSITION

63. EXAMEN = “DUSTING FOR
GOD’S FINGERPRINTS”
• Review the past 24 hours or so
as if you were watching a movie.
• Ask God to help you relive one
CONSOLATION by asking:
“what is one thing that gave me
life?”
• Recall the feelings you felt in
that moment – peace,
satisfaction, wonder, joy,
reassurance, etc
• Relive the feelings. Take them in
deeply.
• Thank God for providing this
consolation
PHASE TWO:
REVIEW THE PAST
24 HOURS for ONE
CONSOLATION

64. EXAMEN = “DUSTING FOR
GOD’S FINGERPRINTS”
• Review the past 24 hours or so
as if you were watching a movie.
• Ask God to help you revisit one
DESOLATION by asking: “what
is one thing that took life out of
me?”
• Recall the feelings you felt in
that moment – confusion, anger,
hurt, isolation, fear, etc
• Find a key feeling and feel it
again
• Ask God to meet you in that
place of desolation. Ask for His
light to shine in darkness.
Receive His comfort. Let the
Spirit of God minister to you.
PHASE THREE:
REVIEW THE PAST
24 HOURS for ONE
DESOLATION

65. EXAMEN = “DUSTING FOR
GOD’S FINGERPRINTS”
• After spending time with God in
one Consolation and one
Desolation ask –
“How is God giving me the grace
to respond to this?”
- Select an attitude you feel
would be pleasing to God.
- Identify any action you may
need to take.
- Thank God for giving you the
grace to respond to His
Consolations and comfort.
PHASE FOUR:
RESOLVE

66. THE EXAMEN = “DUSTING
FOR GOD’S FINGERPRINTS”
Thank God for the time you
have just spent with Him.
- Briefly look ahead at what
lies before you.
- What feelings do you feel?
- How might you apply your
resolution and consolation
to those feelings?
- Go in shalom. The Lord is
with you!
PHASE FIVE:
CONCLUSION

67. TWO HELPFUL
“EXAMEN” AIDS
App for your phone:
“Examen Prayer” – free
Youtube video:
Dan Dixon walks you
through the Examen
https://www.youtube.co
m/watch?v=-is-
XqyCZB4&t=1121s

68. TOOLS FOR DISCERNMENT –
PASTORAL COUNSELING / SPIRITUAL
DIRECTION

69. WHAT IS SPIRITUAL DIRECTION?

70. CONVERSATION WITH A
SPIRITUAL COMPANION WHO “CO-LISTENS”
1. FORMAL Spiritual Direction – by appointment with a trained and
experienced Spiritual Director
2. INFORMAL Spiritual Conversation – Mentors, friends, and
companions in Christ who make themselves available to you (and,
possibly, you to them)
The goal: to help you perceive and respond to God’s movements in
your life as you review your spiritual practices, everyday
experiences, and interior feelings.
They are not “advisors” as much as “co-listeners”.

71. MAPS OF THE LARGER JOURNEY

72. “THE CRITICAL
JOURNEY”
In addition to the
moment-to-
moment
movements of God
in our lives there
are more sweeping
themes that are
common to spiritual
progress over time.

73. SIX SEASONS OF THE CRITICAL JOURNEY
(ROBERT GUELICH)
• The Converted Life (Being)
• The Learning Life (Knowing and Belonging)
• The Active Life (Doing)
• - - - - - - A TIME OF CRISIS AND CHOICE - - - -
-
• The Inward Life (Being)
• The Outward Life (Knowing and Doing)
• The Life of Love (Being, Knowing, and Doing)

74. INVITATION TO A JOURNEY
(ROBERT MULHOLLAND)
1. Awakening (initial and, at some point, ongoing)
2. Purgation (obvious sins /motives & attitudes / patterns)
3. Illumination (growing awareness of the nearness of
God within)
4. Union – (growing into the image of Christ / united with
Him in will, character, and purpose)

75. THE FOUR LOVES
(BERNARD OF CLAIRVAUX)
1. Love of self for self’s sake (self focus, self-serving)
2. Love of God for self’s sake (we learn that it is useful to
love God)
3. Love of God for God’s sake (we love God just because)
4. Love of self for God’s Sake (union with God, loving
what He loves)

76. WHERE CAN I FIND
A SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR?
There is a woman who offers professional
Spiritual Direction here at The Haven –
Roe Dodgen (714) 376-4192
Also, there are male and female Directors at
Wellevations (www.wellevations.com) – wee
the “Team” page

77. TOOLS FOR DISCERNMENT
A guided or
unguided personal
retreat.

78. THREE MODES OF
DECISION-MAKING

79. MODE ONE:
CERTAINTY
You are clearly
impressed by a
guidance or message
from God.
The discernment is
about whether it is truly
God speaking.

80. MODE TWO:
DISCERNING
SPIRITUAL
MOVEMENTS
Try an option on for
size, using your
imagination
Pay attention to
your feelings over
time
Discuss with others
Seek confirmation

81. MODE THREE:
DELIBERATING
WITH GOD
Identify the issue
Concretely state the choice
Pray for God’s guidance and
inner freedom
Gather info
List advantages and
disadvantages
Test against your core values
Tentatively decide
Confirm your decision

82. PRACTICE

83. IN YOUR JOURNAL…
Identify a specific decision you are seeking to
discern
* Is there anything about this decision you feel God
has already spoken to you or given you direct
guidance about?
* When you “try this choice on for size”, what do
you notice within? Use specific words to describe
* What further information might you need to
gather?
* Who might you need to discuss this with?
* What is your timeline?