A workshop for educators dealing with grief and loss in school communities.

1. “ If There’s Anything I Can Do, Let Me Know.” An Interactive Workshop for Educators Dealing with Grief and Loss in School Communities Barbara J. Rick, M.Ed. ©2008

2. This workshop is designed to provide important information relevant to grief and loss in school communities. It is not intended to replace professional medical, psychological, or grief intervention.

3. Introduction

4. Guidelines For Small Groups CONFIDENTIALITY ALLOW FOR EMOTION BE NON-JUDGMENTAL BE SUPPORTIVE

6. Before you can be of assistance to your students, you must first ask yourself… “ What are my own views and feelings about loss?”

9. Variables That Affect the Grief Process Culture/Ethnic Background/Where Raised Gender Spiritual Background Financial Status Support Network Cognitive Development Intensity of Relationship Previous Losses Unfinished Business

10. Concurring Stress Type of Death – Anticipatory/Sudden Viewing the Body Age of the Deceased Circumstances Surrounding the Death Homicide/Suicide Litigation Media Coverage

11. Student Support Network Friends Family Clergy Teachers Coaches Community School Administration Support Staff Counselors School Psychologists School Social Workers Federal, State and Local Agencies

12. The Process of Grief and Mourning Grief: The emotional, behavioral, physical, and spiritual response to loss. Mourning: The process by which we assimilate and incorporate loss into our daily life. Bereavement: The state of being deprived of someone or something.

16. Searching and Yearning  Searching for the cause of the event  Wanting more medical details  Bizarre thoughts and feelings / feeling overwhelmed ► Fear of Going Crazy In adolescents and adults this may be the most prevalent symptom of grief. In the grief groups I have presided over, fear of going crazy has been the most common reaction and the main reason an individual seeks help. Once they realize the reactions they are experiencing are normal and common to others in the group, the symptoms begin to subside.

18.  Frantic activity – Keeping busy so that there is no time to think about what has happened  Dreams/ nightmares about the event or the deceased  Thinking they see the deceased  Guilt  Intense sadness/ the loss is beginning to sink in

20. Depression and guilt are the two main features of this phase. They may be characterized by the following: Feeling empty and hopeless No interest in things previously enjoyed Neglect of personal appearance and daily tasks Lack of physical energy, even small tasks are too much Feeling abandoned by family, friends, and God Regressive behavior (primarily present in pre-school and elementary age students) Depression Sense of failure May say things like: “ I should have” or “If only I’d” Self blame and blaming others Engaging in negative behaviors Feeling relief at the death (this is common when death comes after a long illness.) Guilt

21. Resolution  Able to relax  Genuine laughter returns  No guilt for feeling pleasure  Hope and futuristic thinking returns  Able to issue forgiveness where needed  Able to talk about the loss without severe emotional upheaval

22. Chronic Grief Complicating Factors – New Information - Event Processing of Information - Event Grief Process Continues without Resolution 1 2 3 4 Adjustment to Information– Event Initial Information– Event

23. Break Time

29. Do not assume your student and the custodial parent share the same last name. Be careful to maintain “best practices” in the classroom Stick to daily routines Be a good listener Supporting Students Dealing with Divorce

32. Supporting Students of Deployed Military

33. Stage 1. Shock, denial and anger Stage 2. Anticipation of loss Stage 3. Emotional detachment Stage 4. Shock, denial and anger Stage 5. Anticipation of loss Stage 6. Emotional detachment Phase I : Pre- Deployment Preparation Phase II: Deployment Separation Phase III Post – Deployment/Homecoming/Reunion 7. Honeymoon 8. Reintegration

35. Ages: 6-11 Disaster Reactions and Intervention Suggestions Ages: 1-5 Ages: 12-18 Adults Information taken from Field Manual for Health and Human Service Workers in Major Disasters. Department of Health and Human Services Publication No. ADM 90-537, p.16 – 19.

36. Encourage, but don’t force students to talk about their fears and concerns. Remain self-controlled and calm. Set an example. Provide age appropriate, factual information. Encourage parents to spend extra time with their children.  The event will happen again  Someone close to them will be killed or injured  They will be left alone or separated from their family Greatest Fears of Children in a Disaster How to Help

37. Encourage students to participate in the community recovery process. Stick to routines, schedules and rules. Acknowledge Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Adjust assignments. Encourage students to limit their exposure to media and news coverage. Encourage good nutrition and proper rest and sleep.

38. Supporting Students Dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Types of Traumatic Events Death of a loved one Violence in the home, community, school, or television Natural Disaster Terrorist Attack Physical or Sexual Assault Accident Trauma by Proxy Farm Security Administration – photographer: Russell Lee

39. Possible Student Responses To PTSD Flashbacks (re-experiencing the event) Being in a daze Sleep disturbances Separation Detachment Difficulty concentrating

40. Withdrawal Afraid to be alone Anger Avoidance of anything that reminds them of the trauma Regressive behavior (usually younger children) A change in school performance (not able to focus; intensely focused)

42. Student Support Information Sheets Student Support Information Sheets

43. Online Resources

49. Student Vignettes Katie’s Story Jason’s Story Daniel’s Story Mandy’s Story ?