Mental toughness for outrageous achievement

Mental Toughness for
OutrageousAchievement
A 6-Step Guide to Achieving
Your Absolute, Personal Best
in Business, Performing and Life!
Nick Lazaris,
Psy.D.
FearlessforLife.com1

!
Mental Toughness for Outrageous Achievement
I am so pleased that you have decided to take charge of your life and develop the ‘Mental
Toughness’ necessary to achieve your dreams and goals. Whether you desire to perform on a
higher level in your business, in an athletic pursuit, as a performing artist or at school, the
principles I will be sharing in the next pages will, when applied, take you from mediocrity to
peak performance.
Information without action, however, will not lead to change. Taking action on the
information I am about to share will enable you to perform at your best, without the fear and
anxiety that often derails those with great potential. The following is a great quote that
illustrates this is principle:
2
Introduction

“The mind is not a storehouse
to be filled,
but an instrument to be used.”
~ John Gardner
3

By turning the information you discover in this book into specific action steps, you will
achieve the following goal of becoming mentally tough in pursuing the things that truly matter
in your life:
Definition of Mental Toughness:
“Performing at or near your
personal best, consistently,
regardless of the circumstances
you find yourself surrounded by”
4

Let’s take a closer look at this definition. First, I have discovered, as a Performance
Psychologist and Coach, that most of people I coach achieve a small percentage of the
potential within them. They rarely perform anywhere near their personal best. I am not
talking about in comparison to how others perform, but rather in relation to what they are
capable of.
In addition, many achieve optimal performance occasionally and ‘hope’ they can reach
that level of performance again someday. I believe it is possible to become consistent with
your performance and know what you need to do to reach that consistency.
Finally, it is easy to blame circumstances, or external variables, on why we do or do not
achieve more consistent performance levels. It is possible, by following and applying the
principles in this book, to achieve your best as a result of taking charge of the internal
factors that can become fully under your control. It is this kind of focus that will allow you to
move towards the next level of performance that you desire.
5

!
Let’s take a look at the roadblocks, or obstacles, that get in the way of experiencing our best
in a performance situation.
 Fear - Do you ever hear yourself saying, prior to or during a performance situation,
“What if…?” The fear of the unknown or the possibility of blowing it and looking foolish can
create an ever growing cascade of fear that can sabotage your chances for success.
 Self-doubt – The belief that “I am not enough” can trigger a crisis in confidence
large
enough to cause us to avoid going for our best, as we tell ourselves we aren’t capable of
accomplishing it.
 Inability to concentrate – Anxiety, fear and stress shut down our ability to
focus,
remember and concentrate – all critical abilities to perform optimally.
6
Obstacles to Achieving Performance Success

!
 Low motivation – Obviously, if you are afraid to risk out of fear of performing poorly
or
being rejected, then your motivation level will become less and less, until you tell yourself,
“It’s really not worth it.”
 Excessive nervous (anxious) energy – Anxiety, when under your control, can lead
to
optimal performance - excessive and out of control anxiety will always shut down the mind
and body’s ability to be take charge and perform in a focused way.
 Inability to recover from a mistake – You WILL blow it, but that will never defeat
you
– you can only be defeated if you cannot ‘regroup’ and recover in a way that gets you fully
back on track.
7

!
 Desire for perfection – Your insecurities and lack of self-confidence lead to the
unattainable belief that somehow you can do things perfectly, without mistakes or failures.
Talk about unfair pressure that you put on yourself!
 Lack of specific goals – ‘Hoping’ you will get somewhere, achieve some vague
idea
of success or end up with a feeling of self-respect is doomed to fail as a performance
principle – only those with a vision, a performance goal and a specific set of action steps
to get there will achieve the satisfaction of optimal performance.
Take another look at the above list of obstacles, identify which ones interfere with you
achieving your performance goals and make a commitment right now to overcoming them.
8

!
We have seen the many obstacles to performing at our best, so now we will take a closer
look at the concept of anxiety and how it develops in performance situations. Performance
anxiety, by definition, is:
Definition
“The experience of a sense of dread, accompanied by
physical symptoms of anxiety and distress, when
anticipating having to perform,
preparing to perform or
in the midst of an actual performance”
9
Definition of Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety does not usually begin just moments prior to a performance.
Whether you have been told you have a presentation to give in 2 weeks, a recital in a month
or an important audition or interview in a week, the anticipation of performing begins much
earlier than the actual day you perform. Being able to take charge of the anxiety prior to, as
well as during practice and, finally, during the actual performance is critical to your actually
success.
To understand how anxiety develops, both from the mental side as a well as the physical,
it is helpful to review the role that stress plays, both in terms of what we anticipate will happen
as well as the stress that occurs during an actual performance itself.
The Peak Performance Stress Model allows us to gain a clear understanding of how the
mind and body interact to either create debilitating anxiety and poor performance or the
opposite – focused and in control performing.
10

!
When you are under stress, there are several things can affect your performance. This is
true whether the stress is perceived (imagined) or is in fact real. These are under the
categories of Mental or Physical Effects.
 Mental Effects
include:
-
-
-
-
-
-
self-doubts
a loss of focus
negative self-talk
an inability to concentrate
self-criticism
beating oneself up with the ‘shoulds’ and ‘what ifs …?
11
The Peak Performance Stress Model

!
Left Brain Processing
 Where we think in words and numbers
 Running commentary
 Analytical, technical, judgmental
 Useful in learning specific, new
techniques
 Talks continually, is literal
 Black or white, yes or no
 Linear thought, straight lines
 Beta states of mind Fast brain waves
12
How the Mind Works - Left Brain vs. Right Brain

The results of Left Brain Processing are:
 The more stress there is = faster left brain activity
 Lots of “voices” in your head (ex. “You can’t do that”)
 Less dealing with reality of the moment, more on “What
if….?”
 Less focus, more confusion, less concentration
 Less being in ‘the moment’, less presence or centering
 Too much thinking = sub-optimal performance
As you can see, under real or self-induced stress and anxiety, the left brain activity
becomes faster, with more and more words or ‘chatter’, and the greater likelihood that
too much thinking will lead to a loss of the potential for optimal performance.
13

Right Brain Processing
 Sounds, images, feelings
(tactile)
 Auditory, Visual,
Kinesthetic
 Creative, artistic,
imagination
 Alpha & Theta states of
mind
(slow, quiet state of concentration)
 Focused in the Now 
‘Reality’
The results of Right Brain Processing are:
 Optimal & Peak
Performance
 Flow, Power
 ‘Mental Quiet’
14

Right brain activity, then, results in a slower, more quiet and focused level of activity. You
hear less and less words (which have typically been negative or stress-inducing) allowing the
mind and body the opportunity to perform without interference.
Yoga Berra, the famous baseball great, once said to his players,
“You can’t hit and think at the same time”
His point was that to perform at your best, whether that is hitting a baseball, making a
business presentation or performing a musical number, you must ‘turn off’ the thinking that
gets in the way of performing.
15

The left brain continually talks and we keep buying into it! We are constantly thinking and
it affects confidence, self-image, and how you feel about yourself. The increasing speed of
your thoughts, whether it is the running commentary of past or future thoughts or self-
criticism, leads to less and less focus on the performance itself. No matter how much you
have practiced or rehearsed, because of the ‘noise’ in your head, performance suffers.
We get caught up in the left brain,
outside of the ‘quiet zone!!
16

The KEY

The critical process for performing at your absolute best, without crippling
anxiety, is developing the ability to switch from Left to Right Brain activity.
You will discover, throughout the pages of this book, the skills necessary to make this
crucial switch from having an unfocused state to being someone who knows what they
want, are committed to success and who has the ability to perform on a level you never
thought possible.
So, let’s take a look at the 6 Factors necessary for you to achieve your goals through the
development of Mental Toughness!
17

Factor # 1 - Determination
Determination is that inner drive or commitment necessary to performance
success. It is the mind-set (the strength and power) of your intent to make things happen.
“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s the
determination and commitment to an
unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment
to excellence- that will enable you to attain
the success you seek.”
~ MarioAndretti
18

A foundational step in achieving your goals is to determine how important it is to you to
excel in your business, at school, or as a performing artist?
 The Key Question: “Do you expect excellence and have a burning desire to attain
it?”
“The quality of a person’s life is in
direct proportion to their commitment to
EXCELLENCE,
regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”
~ Vince Lombardi
19

How important is it to Achieve Your Best
in Your Performance?
1
Not very
important
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
The most important
thing in my life
As your commitment score decreases 
your performance level decreases proportionally.
20

What matters to you, what creates the passion that is foundational to a commitment to
your dreams and goals?Achieving a high level of performance is not an easy road – it is
based on a true commitment to overcoming obstacles and taking charge of your
performance. Think about your area of performance. What do you desire?
 Do you desire
…
… to achieve your personal best?
… to excel?
… to attain a high standard in your area of performance?
21

Factor # 2 - Focused Goals
In addition to having a determined commitment to make things happen, possessing a
clear intent through focused goals to achieve your best is also necessary.Although most
are aware of the importance of goal-setting to achieve success, very few actually apply the
principles in a way that propels them to achievement. I have discovered that this is true
whether it is short term practice goals or long term dreams that are desired.
Tying your goals toACTION is the key here.As Joe Charbonneau, a professional
speaker colleague of mine, once said,
“Your every action is either an anchor on your tail
or it’s the wind in your sails.”
22

In other words, are the people I surround myself with, the time I invest in preparation,
the fears I give in to or the level commitment I display taking me towards my goals/dreams
or are they holding me back from what I am capable of?
Take some time to examine your attitude, use of time and the people in your life to see if
changes need to be made to better support you towards what you want to accomplish.
Let us now turn our attention to the
Mental Toughness.
4 critical goal-setting principles necessary to achieve
23

4 Goal-Setting Principles:
1) Create a Dream List
What do you want to achieve? Let yourself think BIG!
Remember that creating a Dream List allows you to s-t-r-e-t-c-h your thinking. It is
also the perfect time to tell those discouraging ‘voices’ in your head to take a
hike, to ‘shut up’! Nothing will kill your dreams faster than a tiny whisper that
says, “Who do you think you are. You will never achieve that level of success or
performance.”
24

2) Write Down Your Goals
- Be specific
- Set realistic goals
- Set challenging goals (remember to stretch yourself!)
- Make them measurable (must be able to measure
progress)
- What are the benefits to you if you achieve your goal?
3) Develop a Plan of action
Achieving mental toughness is a function of having a clear intent and focused
goals, whether they are short-term practice goals or long-term dreams.
- Set a target date for attaining your goals
- Identify the obstacles you need to overcome
- Break your plan of action down to achievable steps
25

Process vs. Outcome Goals
Outcome Goals = What are the results you intend to achieve?
Process Goals = What do you need to be doing to achieve your outcome goals
Practice Goals = What do you need to practice this week,
in the next 5 minutes to achieve my process goals
4) Share Your Vision/Goals
- The more you share your goals, the more clear they become
- Surround yourself with support (“I care about you too much to let you
get away with excuses!”)
Commit to a Focused Plan of Action in Your Life
26

Factor # 3 - A Confident Perspective
The Good News is ... it’s all in your head
The Bad News is … it’s all in your head!
Perspective is your frame of reference, how you see things. The greatest barriers in our
pursuit of excellence in any area of our lives are psychological barriers. Perspective
includes how we talk to ourselves, what we expect, and what we mentally ‘see’.
“The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.”
~ Frank Lloyd Wright
27

Practice Positive Self-Talk
What do you say to yourself under pressure? Whatever negative and critical words
come from the ‘left brain’, or visual images from the ‘right brain’, all settle in the
subconscious which doesn’t know if true or not (it can’t distinguish what is real from what
you imagine or are afraid of). In other words, the left brain talks and the subconscious then
follows through. The right brain pictures the performance (positive or negative) and your
subconscious mind takes action, or executes your vision. In order to change how you talk to
yourself:
1) Monitor your self-talk – create awareness of how you talk to yourself under
pressure or performance situations. Listen for the critical inner voice that can
sabotage your success or create increased anxiety.
28

2) Practice ‘thought-stopping’ – As soon as you hear the critical voice, literally tell it to
“Stop!” Do no let negative thinking take root and interfere with achieving your best.
Stopping negative thoughts (which always create ‘noise’ from the left brain) allows a
new neural ‘pathway’ to replace the self-defeating, negative pathways that lead to self
doubt.
3) Rewrite your internal dialogue – Listen very carefully, as you either prepare to
perform or during a performance situation, for the words “What if”. It has been my
experience that these two simple words have the greatest potential to trigger the
anxiety and fear that can massively undermine our chances for performance success.
The left brain says “What if” and the physical self immediately reacts in preparation of
the coming danger. For example, “What if I blank out during the exam?” “What if they
laugh at me during my presentation?” “What if hit the golf ball in the water?”
29

! What
blowif I it?
As soon as you hear that critical voice in your head say “What if”
then immediately tell yourself “So what!!” This does not mean you
don’t care. It simply, yet powerfully, means you are not allowing
yourself to sabotage your performance with negative thoughts. For
example:
“So what … I am ready to go for it.”
“So what … It’s going to go well.”
“So what … I’m going to remember what I need to.”
“So what … I feel energized.”
“So what … I’m ready to do my best.”
“So what … I know how to relax and focus myself.”
“So what … It’s time to be courageous.”
30

Positive Expectancy
What you expect as you perform is another key to achieving mental toughness. In fact,
most often your expectations will shape reality. What you ‘see’ in your mind’s eye prior to
and during a performance situation will, throughout the days and over weeks, tend to
become who you are. Do you ‘see’ yourself failing an exam, do you ‘see’ yourself forgetting
your lines during the audition, do you ‘see’ yourself being rejected in a sales situation?
Practice positive expectancy. Become aware of what you expect out of yourself.
“Consciously or unconsciously,
you always get what you expect.
~ RobertAnthony
31

Mental Rehearsal
One of the best techniques to use in preparing for Peak Performance is mental rehearsal.
If you cannot imagine performing well, you have very little chance of actually doing that,
especially during a pressure situation. Mental toughness includes practicing the technique
of mental rehearsal to achieve your best. Using giving a presentation as an example, the
keys steps to practicing mental rehearsal are:
1) Start with a clear intention. What is it that you intend to achieve in your
performance? For example, is your intention to give your speech in a relaxed
way, feeling in complete control of yourself?
2) Center yourself physically and mentally. Take a slow, deep focused breath to
slow down any anxiety or stress during your mental rehearsal.
32

Mental Rehearsal (cont.)
3) Imagine what your intention would look like. Try to see, feel, and hear yourself
doing well as you give a powerful and effective presentation.
4) Use all of your senses. Picture yourself walking up to speak, feel your hands on
the podium, hear yourself as your words come out smoothly and effortlessly,
listen to the audience applauding your speech, feel how great it feels to walk off
knowing you did a great job!
5) Correct your mistakes. You will discover that even during mental rehearsal you
will find yourself visualizing making a mistake or becoming afraid. Correct your
mistake until you can clearly see yourself doing well!
33

Mental Rehearsal (cont.)
6) Be creative and have fun! Practice mental rehearsal and make it a valuable
skill in you mental toughness ‘toolbox’.
Your real-life performance will continue to improve the more that you can
‘experience’ (see, hear and feel) the performance in your rehearsal!
34

Factor # 4 - Stress/Anxiety Control
Focused, abdominal breathing is one of the most
important tools you can use to control stress and anxiety.
Abdominal breathing, when learned and applied, can help
you maintain a relaxed state in your mind and body and allow
you to function at a stress free level.
Fast, shallow chest breathing is not only a reaction to
stress, but it also creates stress. The good news is that it is
practically impossible to feel tense when practicing abdominal
breathing! Conversely, it is very difficult to feel relaxed when
you breathe in a shallow way.
When you learn and practice focused, abdominal
breathing, on a regular basis, it becomes a major tool to help
you control stress and overcome performance anxiety.
35

Let’s take a look at how to actually practice the Focused Relaxation Breath:
a) Inhale slowly through your nose, imagining that your stomach is a balloon that is filling up
with air. Even though you know it is not your stomach filling up with air, this is the best way to
picture your lower lungs filling up, slowly, with air.
b) Hold the breath for a few seconds.
c) Now exhale slowly and fully through your mouth, feeling your abdomen deflate
completely as you say a word such as, “Relax”, or “Calm”.Always associate a specific word
with the feeling of relaxation you get after exhaling.
d) Repeat this type of breathing slowly, evenly and effortlessly. Your hand should rise with
each inhalation and fall with each exhalation.
e) Enjoy how good it feels to be relaxed and stress free!
36

I always suggest to my clients to practice this exercise, in the beginning, at least 5 - 10
times a day. You are breathing all day long anyways, so why not replace the stress filled
breathing with a relaxed, focused breathing as often as you can! The more you practice, the
more this type of breathing will replace the old, ineffective type of breathing. It is best to be
aware of your breathing pattern as much as possible. The idea is to make the relaxation
breath a complete replacement for slow, shallow upper chest breathing leading to reduced
anxiety and stress.
37

Factor # 5 - Focused Presence
The ability to focus as your prepare to perform and during
an actual performance, is a result of all of the skills and
techniques we have previously discussed in this book. Focus
has been described as your ability to concentrate fully on the
one task at hand, to experience ‘Mental Quiet’, remaining
undistracted by internal critical ‘noise’ or negative imagery.
The goal is to close the gap that is often between what
you intend to do in your performance and what you actually
accomplish. In other words, to STOP all of that ‘left brain
noise or chatter’ that sabotages your ability to focus on the
performance at hand.
38

“It’s only during our alpha state (right brain)
PERIODS OF CONTEMPLATIVE CALM that
we get mentally quiet enough
to become Single-Minded – Focused – In the Moment”
~ Don Greene, Performance Psychologist
39

Centering
The concept and skill of Centering, which is used in the martial arts as well as in sports
performance, helps create the kind of focus I am talking about. Centering is learning to stay
in the here and now, focusing on the task at hand. The following are key elements of
learning to focus using the process of centering:
1) What do you intend to do once you are focused?
~ Focus on one goal or action.
~ Use positive language – (“I’m going to” not “I hope to”)
2) Focus on your target
~ Pick a point is where you are going to direct all of your energy that
accompanies stressful performances (i.e., a spot on the court, the accepting
faces in the audience, the flag on the green).
40

Centering (cont.)
3) Breathe in a focused, mindful way
~ Close your eyes, breathe focused and abdominally.
~ Breathe mindfully and quiet your left brain.
~ Feel rooted, grounded and in control of your energy.
4) Relax Your Tension
~ As you take a breath, take a quick inventory for muscle tension exhale, say
“calm or relax” and allow your muscles to relax and the stress to go away.
5. Repeat a ‘Focusing Cue’
~ As your left brain becomes quiet, call the right brain into action by using
a focusing cue such as “Relax” or “Calm” or Focus.”
41

Centering (cont.)
Combine focused breathing, muscle relaxation and your focusing cue to turn off left
brain chatter and become centered and focused to achieve your absolute best in your
performance.
Centering takes PRACTICE! Take advantage of any stressful opportunity throughout
your day to practice – by practicing this when you don’t need it, focused centering will be
available to you when you do need it most.
42

Factor # 6 - Persistence
"The difference between a successful person and
others is not a lack of strength, nor a lack of
knowledge, but rather a lack of will."
The final skill that I want to share with you in
regards to developing Mental Toughness is based
on the following key question:
Do you persevere when times get tough?
43

"Nothing in the world can take the place of
persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more
common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a
proverb. Education will not; the world is full of
educated derelicts. Persistence and
determination alone are omnipotent."
~ Calvin Coolidge
44

The kind of perseverance, or ‘hanging tough,’ that I am talking about is a commitment to
your dream or goal, not on a one time basis, but rather daily, hourly and continually. Do you
give up too soon? Does you fear of rejection cause you to quit before you have a chance to be
successful?
Through my years of coaching, I have discovered that there are 3 main obstacles to
Perseverance:
Obstacle #1 ~ Lack of Commitment to Your Dream or Goal
" Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough
and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody."
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
45

Are you knocking loud and long in terms of achieving your goals?Are you making noise as
a result of your actions and efforts? Or are you quitting too soon when success might be right
around the corner? Stay committed to the things that truly matter to you. Do not lose focus in
terms of the prize you are seeking.
Bertrand Russell once said, “There are people in show business that have become major
stars simply because they didn’t have enough sense to quit when they should have.” Do you
give up too soon? Do you not persevere?
46

Obstacle #2 ~ “Talking” Instead of ‘Doing”
"Noise produces nothing.
Often a hen who has merely
laid an egg cackles as though
she has laid an asteroid!"
~ Mark Twain
Are you taking massive action to achieve your dreams or are you just talking about them
or what you wish you had. Outrageous success in life is not achieved through hope, luck or
just talking about it, but through persistent effort.
47

Obstacle #3 ~ Waiting for the ‘Perfect’Time
“If you want for perfect conditions, you will
never get anything done.”
~ Ecclesiastes 11:4
A key part of the skill of perseverance is to not wait for an opportunity, but rather start
‘creating’ opportunities!
-
-
-
Take responsibility for your life and career by utilizing THE POWER OF CHOICE
Remember the two most powerful words are “I choose” vs. “That’s just the way I am”
Focus on action – Take charge, be willing to assert yourself, take risks, stop blaming the
event or person if things don’t go the way you desire.
Make a choice to commit yourself to that which you desire through
action and hard work, and perseverance
48

Finally, here is a wonderful quote by Charles Swindoll in which he describesAttitude and
the Mindset of an OutrageousAchiever:
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more
important than facts. It is more important than money, than circumstances, than failures, than
success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance,
giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is
we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot
change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot
change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is
our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes."
49

It is my hope that you will apply the 6 Factors of Mental Toughness in your business, in
any performance situation you find yourself in and in your life in general as you pursue your
dreams and goals.
Factor #1 - Determination
Factor #2 – Focused Goals
Factor #3 – Confident Perspective
Factor #4 – Stress/Anxiety Control
Factor #5 – Focused Presence
Factor #6 – Perseverance
It IS possible to go from mediocrity to OutrageousAchievement. I look forward to hearing
from you as you apply what you have learned and as you achieve your dreams! Thank you for
letting me be a part of your journey!
50

About Dr. Nick Lazaris
Performance Psychologist Dr. Nick Lazaris specializes in providing coaching, consulting and
speaking services that focus on enhancing the performance of his clients and helping them
achieve their dreams and goals without fear or anxiety. For over 30 years Dr. Lazaris has
specialized in the treatment of stress and anxiety as well as enhancing the performance of his
clients – whether in business, sports, the performing arts, school or everyday life situations.
Dr. Lazaris is currently licensed as a clinical psychologist in California and is certified in
Applied Performance Psychology, specializing in performance enhancement for executives,
athletes and performing artists. In addition, Dr. Lazaris serves as anAdjunct Professor at Biola
University, School of Professional Studies and is a recipient of the Bronze MicrophoneAward of
the National SpeakersAssociation LosAngeles Chapter.
To find out more about Dr. Lazaris’ resources to help you achieve your absolute personal best
without fear or anxiety, contact him at 714-779-9964 or DrNick@FearlessForLife.com.
51

Mental toughness for outrageous achievement

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