I Thought I would include this Director\'s Statement from my press kit for my latest Independent Film, The Hills Have Thighs: An Appalachian Comedy. Please check out the official movie trailer on the film\'s website at http://www.thehillshavethighs.com and for Lord\'s sake, Buy a dvd if you are so inclined. It\'s way too expensive to call it a "Hobby" anymore. Thanks Folks!

1. Biographical Synopsis and Director's Statement.
I guess you could call me a homebody. I live and work a stone’s throw from
Dreher High School, My Alma Mata where I was proud to serve as Student
Body President. My significant other is a beautiful Golden Retriever named
Biscuit. My roommates are a black cat named Spooky Spook and a fourth-
generation family of raccoons in my backyard that eat out of my hand.
After High School, I attended Clemson University like my Father and
Grandfather before me. There, I joined Sigma Alpha Epsilon S.A.E. (a/k/a sleep
and eat) and was President for 2 years. I also served on the Speaker’s Bureau
and got to recruit folks like Leonard Nemoy, Red Foxx, James Taylor, The
Widow Belushi and Red Buttons to entertain the Tigers.
My senior year, I passed up job offers from the likes of Procter and Gambell and Colgate-Palmolive to
attend Law school at the University of South Carolina. There, I proudly served as Chief Justice of the
Moot Court Bar since I was clearly not smart enough to make the Law Review.
The summ of my first year of lawschool, I took a job at Hudsons Seafood Housein Hilton Head Island, wh
er ereI wasableto
’
bartend, w tablesand bean understudy to Island Chef Extraordinaire JamesDavis. Under James, I w
ait asableto expound on
my truest passion: COOKING! I wasquickly promotedto souschef and w ashavingthetimeof my life.
That very summ , after accepting adrunken dareto ent alegscontest, I end
er er edup winninga freetrip to Hollywood to be
cast in aCalifornia Wine Cooler Commercial.
W , I took thetrip to Hollywoodthat Spring Break, but NOT to bein aWineCooler Commercial; rather, to stick my writing
ell
sample under my arm and schlep my assup and downWilshire Boulevard in s earch of a LAW JOB! (Remember I wasnot
smart enough to makeLaw Review).
The Road LessTraveled??? Whatever. It paid off: For thenext twoyears, I wasan associateat a LosAngelesFirm who
represented, amongother clients, Warner Brothers.
T years of California Dreamin’ wasall this Southerner ne edto contract anincurable caseof hom sickness. So I suckedup
wo ed e
my pride, tuckedmy tail betw enmy legsand hauled assback to South Cackalackey. Wouldn’t you knowthat HurricaneHugo
e
hit two w ekslater and I found myself assumingtherole ofA Disaster Relief Coordinator at Ground Zero–TheForeignTrade
e
Zonein Charleston. Sincethat time, I havepracticed Probateand Estate, Criminal Defense& Civil Rights Law, Served asthe
only trueIndependent Member of theSouth Carolina General Assembly, be enelectedasReading Clerk for 10 years by the
S.C. Houseof Representatives, and havebe enawarded theStates highe stcivilian honor: Order of thePalmetto. BUT… while
’
that might sound like alot, I still felt like I wastrying to tackle a tow of Kudzu with aW ede er. I ne edto create, not
er e at ed
conquer.
SoI wrotea novel in 1997: Blue. It wasbetter and cheap than therapy. And it finally put into print thelife story of my center
er
of influence. My rock. My grandmother: Aubrey Rochelle Merritt. Then I achievedthemost gratifyinghonor of my lifetime:
Readingit to her before shepassedon later that winter. That w 10 years ago. I dreamt about her last night. No doubt I will
as
do soagain this evening.
Four years ago, Mom and Dad and I werehaving cocktails at our Mountain Housenear Brevard, North Carolina whenyet
another suck-assBigfoot Documentary crawled acrosstheZenith. “Hell– I could makea better Bigfoot Movie than
that!”…”W heres $100.00 that saysyou can’t, Son”
ell ’ .
The LongWay Home: A Bigfoot Story op edto anoverflowcrowd of 400 peoplein my hom
en etownof Columbia, South
Carolina at theInaugural Indie Grits Film Festival. After that, it hasreceived numerous honors including Best Narrative
Feature at theNewYork International Indep endent Film & VideoFestival in 1997.
The apt criticism of my first feature film wasthat it wastoo complex for it’s owngood. (Starting to s eapattern here?) So
e
before I mad emy sophomoreflick, I sought theadviceof my m entor, SteveDaniels. “Takeeverythingthat wasfunny about
Bigfoot and ampit up timesfour,” wastheresponse.
Immediately, my mind’s eyerevertedto thePremier of TLWH. As I sat in thebalcony w atching 400 folks watch m , I recalled
e
howhard they laugh , and howhard they yearned to laugh wh
ed enthey w eren’t . W folks, it’s timeto laugh. HARD. I took
ell
my m entor's advice. Just for goodm easure, I ampedit up by twelveor thirte . If THE LONG WAY HOME is a pieceof my
en
heart, THE HILLS HAVE THIGHS is a pieceof my warped, twisted mind. Eat your Wheatiesfolks, you havebe enduly
warned. And that’s all I haveto say about that.