2. The 7 steps to conflict Resolution
1. Develop an attitude of resolution.
- Take a deep breath and count to ten.
- Think about the conflict and what gave
rise to it.
- Instead of seeing yourself as a victim,
think about your own behavior.

3. 2. Set the stage, plan your approach
- If you are still angry, find a safe place and
person with whom you can vent your anger
and get some honest, objective feedback.
- Think through what you want to accomplish
and create a vision of a desired outcome.
- Mentally “see” this outcome as benefiting
both parties and an image of both walking
away satisfied.

4. 3. Arrange a place and time to talk
- The ability to focus is important.
- Sometimes it is useful to find an environment
different from the setting where the conflict
arose.
4. Tell your stories, gain an understanding of the
issues.
- Ask the person to relate her side of the conflict
- Then, tell your story.

5. 5. Listen actively and with empathy
- Look directly at the person
- Make eye-to-eye contact
- Nod occassionaly
- Sit quietly
- Speak only for clarification
- Summarize key points
As a person tells his story and perceives he is
being heard, tension tends to decrease and
real dialogue begins.

6. 6. Generate solutions and a shared, win-win
vision of resolution.
- Explore and be creative in searching
alternatives.
7. Test for satisfaction
- Ask each party if the solution works for them.

7. Key Principles in Resolving
Conflict
 Take shared responsibility for the conflict
 Recognize and appreciate differences
among people.
 Preserve individual dignity
 Listen carefully and with empathy, listen to
understand, communicate, don’t debate.
 Be calm
 Vulnerability is a key to successful
resolution, therefore open up and share
your feelings.

8.  Don’t assume people are being difficult
intentionally
 Choose a safe place or person with whom
you can vent and clarify the issues for
yourself.
 Generate solutions…find agreement
 Follow-up to assure resolution and modify as
necessary.

9. Diagram: The 7 steps to conflict
resolution
To resolve a Conflict What to Say or Do? Why?
1. Calm yourself Take a deep breath Clears thinking,
models control
2. Restore order Take a time out Stops the fight
3. Hear their stories “Help me understand
your concern”
Gathers information,
stops tension
4. Listen carefully Eye contact, don’t
interrupt
Honors the need to be
heard
5. Generate solutions “How could we resolve
this?”
Moves from
accusations to
solutions
6. Agree on a solution “Would this work for
you?”
Moves to resolution,
brings closure
7. Test for satisfaction “Are you sure this will
work for you?”
Assures clear
communication

10. Key Points to Remember
 Be a model of calm and control
 Don’t give in to emotional outbursts
 Don’t assume people are intentionally
difficult
 Find a quiet and private place to resolve
conflicts
 No raising of voices
 Speak only for yourself… “I” phrases
 Confront the issues not the people