difficult people

1. Leading the most
People& how to talk
DIFFICULT
to them

2. OBJECTIVES
• Understanding body language and how to
respond to difficult people
• Using body language for yourself and your
empowerment
• Understanding different people.
• Teaching you something people rarely learn

3. DEFINITION
• Body language refers to various forms of non-verbal communication, wherein a
person may reveal clues as to some unspoken intention or feeling through their
physical behavior. These behaviors can include body posture, gestures, facial
expressions, and eye movements.
• Body language is typically subconscious behavior, and is therefore considered
distinct from sign language, which is a fully conscious and intentional act of
communication. Body language may provide clues as to the attitude or state of
mind of a person. For example, it may indicate aggression,attentiveness,
boredom, a relaxed state, pleasure, amusement, and intoxication.
• Body language is significant to communication and relationships. It is relevant to
management and leadership in business and also in places where it can be
observed by many people

5. WE KNOW THAT OUR BODY
LANGUAGE AFFECTS HOW
OTHERS SEE US.

6. MAIN ELEMENTS OF BODY LANGUAGE
Body
Language
Posture
Eye Contact
Gesture Hands & Arms
Speech
Voice
Tone

7. MAIN ELEMENTS OF BODY LANGUAGE
• It should be standing tall with
shoulders back, it shows
confident but less arrogant
POSTURE
LEG DIRECTION UNCROSSED
LEGS ANKLE LOCK
AT ATTENTION
LEGS CROSSED
( S TANDING) SPLAYED LEGS

8. MAIN ELEMENTS OF BODY LANGUAGE
EYE
CONTACT
• Solid with “Smiling”Face, it
really shows that this person
respect for his/her interviewer/
person that he/she talk with
RIGHT (LIES) LEFT (FACTS) DIRECT
WIDENING BLINKING

9. MAIN ELEMENTS OF BODY LANGUAGE
GESTURE HANDS
AND ARMS
• the less the movement, the
better you are, since if your
hand/arm gestures are small
and close to your body, it
really is showing that you’re a
defensive person.
CROSSED ARMS GRIP UPPER
ARMS PALMS UP
PALMS DOWN
HANDS ON
HEART
FINGER
POINTING

10. MAIN ELEMENTS OF BODY LANGUAGE
SPEECH
• Not slow, but clear, and
easy to capture by the
other person.

11. MAIN ELEMENTS OF BODY LANGUAGE
• the voice should be
moderate, which mean not
too high and fast, not too
slow and tiny
TONE OF
VOICE

12. WHAT SHOULD I LOOK OUT FOR?
EYES MOUTH HEAD
HANDS &
ARMS
LEGS &
FEET

13. BEING DEFENSIVE
• Hand/arm gestures are small
and close to his or her body.
• Facial expressions are minimal.
• Body is physically turned away
from you.
• Arms are crossed in front of
body.
• Eyes maintain little contact, or
are downcast.

14. BORED/CANNOT BE ENGAGED
• Heads are down.
• Eyes are glazed, or gazing at
something else.
• Hands may be picking at cloths,
or fiddling with pens.
• People may be writing or
doodling.
• They may be sitting slumped in
their chairs

15. LY ING
• Eyes maintain little or no eye contact, or there may
be rapid eye movements, with pupils constricted.
• Hand or fingers are in front of his or her mouth
when speaking.
• His or her body is physically turned away from you,
or there are unusual/un-natural body gestures.
• His or her breathing rate increases.
• Complexion changes such as in color; red in face
or neck area. Perspiration increases.
• Voice changes such as change in pitch,
stammering, throat clearing.

16. LY ING - TALK
• Talk with too much details
• They tell their story in strict chronological
order
LY ING - GES TURES
• People will subtly ‘rehearse’ their story, but
not their gesture.
• During a convincing story look out for
shaking of head, shrug of shoulders and
hidden smiles of getting away with it.
DUPING DELIGHT

17. CONCLUSION
• Body language impacts a great deal of how we communicate, and can
reflect quite accurately what's going on inside us.
• Body language includes body movements and gestures (legs, arms,
hands, head and torso), posture, muscle tension, eye contact, skin
coloring (flushed red), even people's breathing rate and perspiration.
Additionally, the tone of voice, the rate of speech and the pitch of the
voice all add to the words that are being used.
• It is important to recognize that body language may vary between
individuals, and between different cultures and nationalities. It is
therefore essential to verify and confirm the signals that you are
reading, by questioning the individual and getting to know the person.

18. WE KNOW THAT OUR BODY
LANGUAGE AFFECTS HOW
OTHERS SEE US.

19. BUT DO YOU KNOW
HOW BODY LANGUAGE
CAN AFFECT YOURSELF?

20. WHAT DOES POWER DO
TO OUR PHYSIOLOGY?
TESTOSTERONE CORTISONE
Power and effective leadership is not just how
you show confidence and dominance but also
how you react to stress.

21. EXPERIMENT
TESTOSTERONE CORTISONE

24. CAN WE FAKE IT UNTIL
WE MAKE IT?

25. WE FAKE IT UNTIL WE
BECOME IT.

26. BUT WHY IS THIS
IMPORTANT?

27. THE BULLY
“IT’S ALL ABOUT ME”
1. DON’T BE DRAW INTO
FIGHTS
2. OFFER REMEDIES
3. CALL FOR HELP
4. HAVE GROUP 360/FEEDBACK
5. DELIVER WARNING AND
ESTABLISH AUTHORITY.
6. QUESTION ALL RUDE
BEHAVIOUR
7. GIVE TRAINING
8. CLAP HANDS
HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME

28. THE COMPLAINER/
WHINER “IT’S SO TERRIBLE, SOMEONE
F I X I T ”
1. CONSIDER THE COMPLAINT
2. MODEL THE OPPOSITE
3. BE SILENT (TRUST ME IT
WORKS)
4. SET TEAM STANDARDS
5. RUN A TIGHT SHIP
6. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
7. AGREE AND MOVE ON
8. MAKE IT THEIR
RESPONSIBILITY
I CAN BE LOUD, GOOD
MANNERS CAN WAIT. PEOPLE
SHOULD HEAR ME TALK.

29. THE PROCRASTINATOR
WASTES TIME BY THINKING “I
CAN’T DO THAT”
1. PARTNER THE
PROCRASTINATOR WITH
ANOTHER VP
2. ASK THEM TO HELP WITH
SCHEDULING
3. GIVE TIPS AND TRICKS
4. I T TAKES TIME (MAKE IT A
HABIT)
I’LL GET BACK TO THIS LAT E R . I
NEED TO CHECK EMAIL. I NEED
TO TALK TO THIS PERSON. OH
END OF WORKING TIME! YAY !

30. THE PROCRASTINATOR
ADDITIONAL TIPS
UNDERSTAND WHY
!
1. DOESN’T HAVE SKILLS/ DATA
TO COMPLETE JOB
2. TOO MUCH TO DO, NOT
ENOUGH TIME
3. TIME MANAGEMENT ABILITY
4. POOR CONDITION
5. FEAR OF FAILURE
6. DREAD CRITICISM
7. POOR SELF-IMAGE
8. BORED/NOT CHALLENGED

31. THE KNOW-IT-ALL
A KNOW-IT-ALL EXAGGERATES
1. POINT OUT THE DOWNSIDE
2. WORK CLOSELY WITH THEM
3. ASSIGN OTHERS TO WORK
WITH HIM/HER
4. GIVE PRAISE WHEN IT’S DUE
5. KEEP THEM IN THE LOOP
6. DON’T TRY TO CHANGE
THEM
7. ASK MORE QUESTIONS,
INSIST ON BEING KEPT IN
THE LOOP
8. INSIST ON MUTUAL RESPECT
IT’S OKAY TO INTRUDE OR IMPOSE

32. THE SILENT TYPE
CANNOT TAKE NEGAT I V E
CRITICISM
1. INCREASE COMMUNICATION
CHANNELS
2. SET AN EXAMPLE
3. ARRANGE FOR AN AUDITION
4. OPEN YOUR DOOR, BE
APPROACHABLE
5. GIVE FAME
6. DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN,
COMMUNICATION IS ONE OF
THE EASIEST THINGS TO
DEVELOP
ZONES OUT/DOESN’T CARE WHEN
IT COMES TO UPDATES

33. THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY
ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS
1. PUT THEM TO WORK WHERE
THEIR SKILLS ARE NEEDS
2. TALK TO YOUR TEAM ABOUT
PROFESSIONALISM
3. ASK THEM TO SOLVE
PROBLEMS ABOUT PEOPLE
4. USE THEIR PERSUASION
A B I L I T I E S
5. ENSURE THEY UNDERSTAND
YOUR BOUNDARIES
VERY HANDS ON

34. NO PEOPLE SKILLS
THEY ARE UNPREDICTABLE
1. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
2. DEVELOP IT IN THEM
3. TEACH ABOUT BODY
LANGUAGE
4. EXPLAIN WHY
5. MAKE THEM WORK WITH
PEOPLE
DON’T CARE ABOUT BEING RUDE

35. NOW FOR THE HARD PART…
WHAT ARE IS THE KEY BODY
LANGUAGE TO
a) IDENTIFY
b) DEAL WITH EFFECTIVELY
!
DIFFICULT INDIVIDUALS

36. L E T ’ S L I N K I T !

37. THERE’S MORE BUT
LATER LAHH (:

38. Leading the most
People& how to talk
DIFFICULT
to them