It contains concepts and different types of life skills along with strategy of transaction

1. 1
MODULE-1
UNDERSTANDING LIFE SKILLS
Introduction:
There is an urgent need to provide life skills education to all school-going
children because it enables them to acquire timely and relevant information, respond to
opportunities and challenges and cope with the ever-changing needs of society. The
National Curriculum Framework for school education-2000 emphasized that education
as, must a prepare students to face the challenges of life. For this to it needs to be
intimately linked with different life skills. The National Curriculum Framework-2005
also says learning has becomes an isolated activity, which does not encourage children to
link knowledge with their lives, Knowledge has to be corrected to life outside the school.
In fact, the purpose of life skills education is to make students perform better in all the
spheres of life by acquiring psychological competency, finding proper solution to
problems, coping with different situations of life, performing well in different walks of
life, creating positive attitude etc.
Life skill education is required for students of all level because: 1) Acquisition
and application of life skill can influence the way as individual feels about others.2)
Living life fully and productively requires acquiring and mastering life skills.3) It helps
students to know and understand themselves better, to live life more consciously and
deliberately, attain personal satisfaction and fulfillment and growth. 4) It will enhance
productivity, efficiency, self-esteem and self-confident. 5) It improve-inter-personal
relations helps, solve problems face challenges and tackle unforeseen contingencies with
equanimity and presence of mind.6)It helps maintain good physical and mental health
and capacity for happy living and putting leisure time to good use. 7) It lessens violent
behaviour, increases self-control and sociability, improves classroom behavior, betters
handling of interpersonal problems and coping with anxiety. 8) It equips adolescents with
using head, hand and heart and 9) It promotes adaptability and adjustability among
adolescents.
The demand for life skill education for school children has gained momentum in
view of the growing problems relating to the sexual behavior of adolescents and the
AIDS pandemic. Again the growing incidence of drug abuse among teens also demands
life skills education. Health promotion and preventive care as vehicle for human
development is best reflected in the concept of life skill education. Through life skills
education, we can tap The Treasure Within, the learning potential in every human. Life
skills including HIV/AIDS preventive education are urgently needed. It is estimated that
India accommodates the largest number of HIV infected people in the world. In India;
Young people are at serious risk. They become vulnerable to sexually transmitted
diseases as soon as they are of age because the pool of potential partners is often already
infected. A similar situation prevails in the context of drug abuse by the younger
generation. Life skills education helps young people get information and develop skills
they need to follow a safer path through life to avoid HIV/AIDS. The adolescents need to
protect themselves in different situations of risk involving HIV/AIDs and other infection
and also to face many problems in everyday life. The number of children, who do not

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have the benefit of formal education, is very large and they need more than preventive
health education to face risks to physical and mental wellbeing.
Conceptualizing Life Skills
A life skill is a subject largely untouched in India and yet is an essential part of
individual development. Life skills are abilities with which we get to know how to live
life. Life skills are an addition to essential literacy and numerical skills for building sound
and harmonious relationship with self, others and environment, to act responsibly and
safely, to survive under a variety of conditions. These are core competencies that enable
individual to cope with the difficulties in life. WHO defines life skills as the abilities for
adaptive and positive behavior that enable individuals to deal effectively with the
demands and challenges of everyday life? UNICEF says life skills empower young
people to take positive actions to protect themselves and to promote heath and positive
social relationship. According to Nair (2005), life skills are nothing but personal skills. It
is the ability for adaptive and positive behavior that empowers a person to make informed
choices in the face of complex life situations .It makes a person psychological competent
to perform the basic human functions. With life skills one is able to explore alternatives,
weigh pros and cons to make rational decisions in solving problems or issues. Life skills
are the abilities that help in the promotion of mental and social well being and
competency in young children to face hard realities of life. It is an ability which enables
human beings to perform better in life keeping in view the demands and challenges.
Different Life Skills
There is no agreement on the number of life skills. Different life skills are
proposed for different groups of individuals depending on their local conditions. The
UNICEF emphasizes interpersonal and communication skills, decision making/ problem
solving skills, critical thinking skills, skills for increasing internal locus of control etc.
Life skills have been discussed in details below:
a. Self Awareness: This is awareness about one`s own self. The question that often
comes into the mind of an adolescent is-who I am. The problem of self-identity
originates in the individuals during their adolescence. The individuals should
know about their strengths and weaknesses, capabilities and liabilities. This is
something like self-image or self-concept. Along with this, they should be made
aware of their rights and duties and responsibilities to themselves and the society.
They should have a clear idea about their place in family, peers and community,
along with the knowledge of the body and the process of growing up, maintaining
personal health and hygiene as well as the roles of boys and girls in different
contexts. It is also necessary to develop right self-concept as underestimation and
overestimation of the self hamper the actual development of an individual.
b. Empathy: Empathy is the ability to listen to and understand another person`s
needs and circumstances and express that understanding. This is awareness of
others, their different thinking, feelings, desires and wishes. Indian culture
emphasizes empathy with human beings, animals, and nature around us. It is
related to fellow-feelings. Empathy for others who are like me, who are unlike
me, who look up me and who I look up to are to be developed among the
adolescents for maintaining balance in environment, society and family.

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c. Coping with Emotions: Emotions confuse and overwhelm the young mind. Not
all emotions are negative and hinder action. Some like ‘love’ may be a prime
mover. Emotions like fear and anger are to be controlled carefully. The
adolescents should have a clear understanding of likes and dislikes as well as
positive emotions, because during adolescence emotional development reaches its
maximum. It is a period of recognizing all emotions like anxiety, fear, love and
anger. The adolescent’s experiences emotional instability and intensity. They
sometimes demand absurd emotional independence.
d. Coping with Stress: Stress is Common to all. People old or young, boys or girls.
Poor or rich have stress in some form or other. Some may have more stressful life
while others have less. Stanley Hall viewed adolescence as a time of storm and
stress and Jeffery Arvett also viewed that storm and stress is more likely during
this period. Controlling stress is important as it has bearing on performance and
adjustment of individual. Developing understanding about factors creating stress,
a factor controlling stress and the effects of stress on human life is helpful for
balanced living.
e. Decision Making: This is one of the essential life skills for successful living. This
life skill is needed every moment of life. During adolescence an individual takes
different decisions independently. Healthy life depends on right decisions.
Decision-making is related to choice. Individuals make different choices in their
life. It involves thinking on different options and weighing their pros and cons. It
is a complex process as it depends on comparison and judgment. Here, making
the right decision and understanding the process of decision-making is important.
f. Problem Solving: Life is full of problems. All human beings faces problems in
some form or other in their everyday life. All adolescents encounter various
problems in different life situations. The problems faced by the urban youth are
completely different from the problems of the rural youth. Sometimes one
problem has many solutions. One has to opt for the most effective one.
Sometimes we need the help of others to solve our problems. So, a person should
be aware of the sources of the problem to approach its solution. The individual
should believe in his own abilities and have a strong mindset to deal with any sort
of problems.
g. Critical Thinking: It is related to thinking in just and rational way. It is the skill
to assess, judge and come to a considered conclusion. It is a life skill to exercise
one’s ability to reflect on what is right and what is wrong. It also involves
deciding something that is right or unbiased. It is also related to independent
thinking, thinking freely, and thinking without pressure. It involves difference of
opinion and questioning. It is one of the complex skills.
h. Effective Communication: It is one of the key life-skills for one and all.
Effective Communication involves effective transmission of feelings. Thoughts
and messages from one person to another and effective reception to understand
other person’s views. It is more important for young people in order to maintain
both their independence and their relationships. It involves expressing ones idea,
thought and emotion in a clear and concise manner. It may be in writing or spoken

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from. One should know the subject matter to be communicated, mode of
communication and audience.
i. Interpersonal Relationship: Healthy living depends on healthy relationships.
Others in society. We need to live with others in society. We need each others`
help. Hence, interpersonal relationship is significant for our adjustment and
congenial living. It involves relationship with friends of both sexes, relationship
with organizations, peers, family and community members. It is essential for
adolescents to develop the right kind of relationship with opposite sexes.
j. Creative Thinking: This skill is also known as lateral thinking. It supports both
decision-making and problem-solving. This skill helps us to explore the
alternatives at hand and different results of our action or non-action: By using
this, we can look beyond our direct experiences. Even in a situation where no
problem is identified, no decision has to be taken; creative thinking helps us to
respond with flexibility to situation in life.
k. Social Skills: It is related to knowing about family, peers, Community beliefs,
customs etc. and concerns of the society and identifying problems that arise
within the family and in society. Gender relation, knowledge of STD, HIV/AIDS
is part of in. It is essential for individuals to be aware of the family and
community beliefs, customs as it helps in adjustment/successful living. So
adolescents should be provided with the right kind of information about different
aspects of society in which they live.
Apart from these, there are some more life skills such as: ability to decide to listen to
whom and to what, critical listening skills, information processing skills, self-reliance,
finding out necessary legal information to be attuned to social environment and
situations, ability to say no to negative pressures, ability to find the link between health
problems and life styles as well as behavior and ability to maintain safety etc.
Strategy for Developing Life Skills:
Role Play:
Role play is an activity where you either put yourself into somebody else’s shoes, or put
yourself into an imaginary situation. It is widely agreed that learning takes place when
activities are engaging and memorable. Jeremy Harmer advocates the use of role-play for
the following reasons:
 It fun and motivating
 Quieter students get the chance to express themselves in a more forthright way
 The world of the classroom is broadened to include the outside world; thus
offering a much wider range of language opportunities.
 Help students to understand that there are casual relationships between people’s
behavior and the outcomes of events. This understanding is enhanced because the
consequences of behaviors can be immediately observed and self-image
developed.
 Enables students to explore their values and appreciate the consequences of their
values based actions
 Enables students to identify options and solutions.

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 Enables students to manage conflict.
Role playing can be used with students of most ages. The complexity of the role
situations must be minimized in using the method with children. But if we keep it simple
for their limited attention spans, role playing can be used even in teaching preschoolers.
Role playing allows people to make mistakes in a non threatening environment. They can
test several solutions to very realistic problems, and the application is immediate. It also
fulfills some of the very basic principles of the teaching-learning process such as learner
involvement and intrinsic motivation. A positive climate often results in which one can
see himself as others see him. The involvement of the role playing participants can create
both an emotional and intellectual attachment to the subject matter at hand. If a skillful
teacher has accurately matched the problem situation to the needs of his group, the
solving of realistic life problems can be expected.
Principles for Effective Role Playing
As a teaching technique, role playing is based on the philosophy that meanings are in
people, not in words or symbols. If that philosophy is accurate, we must first of
all share the meanings, then clarify our understanding of each other’s meanings, and
finally, if necessary, change our meanings. Creating a teaching situation which can lead
to the change of self-concepts that requires a distinct organizational pattern. A helpful
structure for role playing follows:
1. Preparation
 Define the problem
 Create a readiness for the role(s)
 Establish the situation
 Cast the characters
 Brief and warm up
 Consider the training
2. Playing
 Acting
 Stopping
 Involving the audience
 Analyzing the discussion
 Evaluating
Brain Storming:
Brainstorming is a creative technique for generating ideas and suggestions on a
particular subject. Any topic can be explored for brainstorming. A question may be asked
or an issue raised, and everyone in the group is asked to give suggestions about it in very
simple terms, ideally with one word or a short phrase. In brainstorming, people just call
out what they think; there should be no need to go round the group one by one. All
suggestions would be listed for the whole group to see. Brainstorming gives an
opportunity for everyone's ideas to be valued and accepted without criticism.
Brainstorming can be a good technique for the life skills educator to learn from children
how much they understand a subject and see how they describe it in their own terms. It is

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also an effective way of hearing the ideas from the whole group in a limited period of
time.
Conclusion:
It is essential to include life skills education in curriculum of school education at
all the stages. Teachers both in-service and pre-service need to be oriented or trained in
imparting life skills education. It is pertinent to integrate life skills in teacher education
curriculum for all levels. It can be introduced as an independent paper or merged with
any compulsory paper. The student-teachers need to develop skills and competency in
imparting life skills education to children. So the entire teacher education from institution
to classroom transaction should reflect different life skills.
UNESCO stated that in order to impart life skills effectively and successfully to
the youth, education must take in to account the four pillars of education as mentioned in
Delors Report (1996) learning to know, learning to live together and learning to be. The
motto should be doing as we do and not do as we say. Lectures and expositions carry no
conviction; learning by doing and learning by experience should be part of the training
strategy. The teacher can adopt various strategies to organize learning activities for
training in life skills such as demonstration, discussion, role play, group work, field visits,
project work etc utilizing available local resources in and around the school. The different
school subjects like language, social studies, science and mathematics contain
information about all these life skills. The teacher should utilize all the classes and
emphasize acquiring life skills by the learner. Sometimes schools can organize curricular
activities such as drama, debate, literary competitions, cultural evening etc for promoting
life skills among learners. Personal skills can be developed through while teaching of
health and physical education, art education, work education and science and technology.
Social skills can be developed through teaching social science, science and technology
and also self behavior.
It is suggested that life skills should form an integral part of curriculum for school
education. Different concepts and themes may be identified from all school subjects for
integrating life skills. The school teachers should be oriented in the method of transacting
life skills to adolescent learners. Besides teachers, parents also should take initiative in
cultivating different life skills. The ends of life; to be what you are and to become what
you are capable of becoming will be realized only by acquiring and mastering life skills.
The modules present details of all the 10 life skills in transactional model which will be
useful for teacher educators/trainers and teachers.

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MODULE-2
SELF AWARENESS
1. INTRODUCTION:
Self awareness is a thinking skill that focuses a child’s ability to accurately judge his/her
own performance and behavior and to respond appropriately to different social situations.
Self-Awareness helps an individual to tune into their feelings, as well as to the behaviors
and feelings of others. For example, a child successfully uses self-awareness skills when
s/he notices that s/he is talking too loudly in a library where other children are at work,
and then adjusts the volume of his/her voice to a balanced level. While awareness is our
ability to take note; self-awareness is our ability to take note of ourselves.
When we turn our awareness to focus ourselves, we may become conscious of a
great deal of internal activity. We may notice specific thoughts or thought patterns. We
may notice particular emotions or flows of energy. We may wake up to physiological
processes taking phase within our body such as heartbeat, heat, sweating. We may notice
intuitions or gut feelings. The world of the self is rich and fascinating and we are
privileged to possess the ability to actually enjoy all of this consciously. Our capacity for
awareness is what makes this possible. Self awareness is basically our recognition of
ourselves, our character, our strengths and weaknesses, desires and dislikes. Developing
self-awareness can help us to recognize when we are stressed or under pressure. It is
often a prerequisite for effective communication and interpersonal relations, as well as
for developing empathy for others.
This module presents the theoretical concept and various aspects of self-awareness,
strategies and procedures for transacting the skills of self awareness without any
confusion, indicates scope for locating and integration of the skills in different subject
areas and the process of ascertaining to what extent the individual has acquired the skills
of self awareness.
2. OBJECTIVES:
After reading the module, you will be able to
 Understand the concept and nature of self awareness.
 Explain various aspects/components of developing self awareness.
 Explain the significance of self awareness in life especially with students.
 Transact the skill of self awareness to students by using a suitable strategy.
 Locate scope for integration of the skills in different subject areas.
 Assess the level of acquisition of the self awareness skills.
3. TRANSACTIONAL MODEL
Discussion Points Process
Concept of Self
Awareness
The Resource Person (RP) will introduce the various nuances of
self awareness skills to the trainees through a power point
presentation. The power point will consist of the following:
 Definition of self awareness
 Recognizing one’s own attitude, feelings, motives, strengths

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 The areas of self awareness
 How to develop self awareness
Activity 1: I am Special
The RP will initiate the discussion by introducing an activity to the
participants:
Each one of us is unique and possesses special character traits. But
it is important for us to recognize and appreciate them. Write down
five (1 to 5) positive character traits about yourself, which you truly
appreciate. (Strengths).
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Write down five sentences about the areas you need to improve
upon (Weaknesses)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The RP can summaries the discussion after the activity is over by mentioning the
following points
 Always think about things you do well
 Take part in activities that make yourself feel good
 Each one of us has unique characteristics
 Concentrating on our strengths we can turn them into habits
 We should be aware of our strengths and weaknesses

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Components
The RP will prepare an interesting and interactive power point
presentation mentioning all the components of self awareness and give a
brief presentation through lecture. The components are as follows:
 Identify strength and weaknesses
 Objectivity
 Introspection ability
 Accepting self as it is
 Openness
 Reflectibility
Significance To make the participants realize the significance of self awareness, the
RP will open a discussion on how self-esteem plays a major role in
developing ones self-awareness. The RP can ask the participants to
define the term ‘self-esteem’ and write down the answers on the
blackboard.
The RP will lead the participants to understand that self-esteem refers to
how we understand and value ourselves.
Then the RP will differentiate between proper self-esteem and low self-
esteem
After writing down the points, the RP will consolidate the discussion by
summarizing the following key points:
 It is important to have proper self-esteem
 Low self- esteem is demoralizing
 It feeds negative thinking
 It can make one feel small and unworthy
Process of
Developing
Self
Awareness
The RP will introduce the process of developing self awareness through
brain storming, role-play, discussions and checklists. In this transaction,
the RP will use a checklist to get an idea of the extent of a person’s self-
awareness.
 Know yourself
 What are your areas of strength?
 What tasks are difficult for you?
 How would you describe your learning and attention issues?
 What do you love to do?
 What kinds of activities do you avoid?
 What do you do for others?
 What stresses you? Why?
 In what kind of situations do you feel at ease? Why?

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The RP can suggest then to look at the checklist again in a few moments
to see if anything has changed.
Strategy of
developing
self
awareness
The RP initiates certain activities to introduce intervention for the
components of self awareness.
Component: Introspection ability
The RP will play a game with the participants to have an understanding
of self awareness
Ask the participants to sit in a circle.
Tell them that in this activity, they will have to complete the sentences
given to you. You are going to complete the sentences aloud, and give
reasons
(e.g., 'If I was a bird, I would fly high in the sky because I would be
free').
Begin the game by calling out the sentences.
If I were the Prime Minister of the country----------------------
If I am at home alone one day, I would be----------------------------
If I become the Head Master of a School, I would -------------------
After giving their feedbacks, each participant will share his/her feelings,
opinions and how they would feel about themselves in a particular
situation. The RP will summaries the game by highlighting the following
points:
It will help the participants to :
 gain a better understanding of self and others
 develop a positive psycho-social attitude

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The RP then divides the participants into small groups, each consisting of
4-5 members. The facilitator will assign some activities to each group for
analysis.
Gr
oup
Components Problems for Case Study
1
2
3
Openness
Identifying
Strengths and
weaknesses
Accepting
self as it is
Please depict yourself as you think you are, by
either writing or drawing. You can write a
paragraph, a poem, a song, paint a picture or an
abstract form to depict yourself.
Use worksheets or provide cutting and pasting
activities such as: “Things I like to do”, “Things
I am Good at,” to reinforce strengths and to help
build individual self-esteem.
As a group, write a social story about feeling
good about yourself. Each child could create a
page.
Allow 10 minutes to each group to complete the task given. Then the RP will instruct the
participants to speak for 4 minutes on their experiences while completing the task and
how they were able to find out their true self. Further, the groups are assigned the task of
inventing similar interventions for the rest of the components.
Integrating self
awareness skill
in school
subjects
The R.P asks the groups to locate scope for integration of the
different aspects of self awareness in their own subject areas that
would cater to the development of different dimensions of self-
awareness. Adequate time will be given to the participants for
completing this task, then present their task before the whole group.
The group may work on the following formats.
Name of the subjects:
Name of the topic:
Strategy used for developing life skills (Detailed elaboration with
examples):
Assessment
Self Evaluation Scale on Self awareness:
Rate yourself on the following 3-point scale by ticking in the
appropriate column

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Self Assessment Usually Sometimes Rarely
1. My friends have gathered in a room without me and
they all will speak bad things about me.
2. I will do anything to impress my classmates.
3. I admire people who make fun of themselves.
4. I get angry without any reason.
5. I do not say anything to my friend when he/ she does
something wrong.
6. I am able to speak in front of an audience
confidently.
7. If my teacher criticizes my work, I take it positively
and work on the problem.
8. I speak bad things about others behind their back.
9. I disturb the stray dog in my colony with my friends.
10. I can speak to my friends about anything.
Note: The score in each column gives an indication of one’s strengths as well as areas to
improve on. This scale will help to reflect and introspect so that one can work on
enhancing one’s self awareness skills.
4. RESOURCE MATERIAL FOR PARTICIPANTS
Concept of Self Awareness
The definition of self awareness holds the key to positive change. Self-awareness is the
ultimate enabler. Without learning knowledge of us (which is another way of defining
self awareness) there would be no hope for conscious, positive change. By developing
self-awareness, we can take a good look at ourselves, our lives and see what is working
for us and what isn't. This awareness plants the seeds of change in our subconscious
mind. It plants in us the drive and motivation to choose to do things differently.
Self-awareness refers to being aware of our self. 'Our self includes our strengths-
weaknesses, assets-liabilities, positive-negative elements, etc. According to Wikipedia,
"Self awareness is the ability to perceive one's own existence, including one's own traits,
feelings and behaviours. In an epistemological sense, self-awareness is a personal
understanding of the very core of one's own identity. It is the basis for many other human
traits, such as accountability and consciousness, and as such is often the subject of debate

13. 13
Childhood experiences that lead to
low self-esteem include:
• Being harshly criticised
• Being scolded or beaten
• Being ignored, ridiculed or
teased
• Being expected to be 'perfect' all
the time
• Experiencing failures in sports
or school
among philosophers. Self-awareness can be perceived as a trait that people possess to
varying degrees beyond the most basic sentience that defines human awareness. Self-
awareness is so basic to our lives because our performance in life to a great extent is
dependent upon what we do and how we do. To do quality job awareness about oneself,
especially one's capabilities are indeed a pre-requisite. Thus, it assumes a great
importance.
Understanding self-awareness could be done effectively, if we understand the
concept of self-esteem and related issues.
What Is Self-Esteem?
To understand self-esteem, it is required to break the term into two words. Let's
take a look at the word esteem first. Esteem is a word for thinking that someone or
something is important or valuing that person or thing. For example, if you really admire
your teacher because he cares for all students, it only means you hold him in high esteem.
Self means oneself! So put together, it means, 'it is how much you value yourself and
how important you think you are'. Self-esteem isn’t bragging about how great one is. It's
more like quietly knowing that one self is worth a certain measure. It's not about thinking
of oneself as perfect, but knowing that one is worthy of being loved and accepted.
Importance of Self-Esteem
Good self-esteem is important because it helps one to hold one's head high and feel proud
of oneself and what one can do. It gives one the courage to try new things and the power
to believe in oneself. It lets one respect oneself, even when one makes mistakes. And
when one respects oneself, others also respect him/her.
Our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of
ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Our childhood
stages are very important in developing healthy self-esteem. All the agencies of
socialization, i.e., family, friends, school, significant persons, the books we read, the
people we come across, etc all will have their own influence on shaping and maintaining
our self-esteem. Therefore, the environment one gets in life and the quality of one's life
will determine the health of self-esteem. What is most important is every individual will
have to have one's own healthy self-esteem.
Healthy/proper Self-esteem and Low Self Esteem
Childhood experiences that lead to
healthy/ proper self- esteem include:
• Being praised
• Being listened to
• Being spoken to respectfully
• Getting attention and hugs
• Experiencing success in sports or
school
• Having trustworthy friends

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Imagine, you have good self-esteem, and then you know that you're smart enough to
make your own decisions. You value your safety, your feelings, and your health - your
whole self! Good self-esteem helps you know that every part of you is worth caring for
and protecting.
Sometimes some children will have low self-esteem if their mother or father does
not encourage them enough or if there is a lot of yelling at home. Other times, a child's
self-esteem can be hurt in the classroom. A teacher may make a child feel dumb. For
some children, classes at school can seem so hard that they can't keep up or get the grades
they'd hoped for. This can make them feel bad about themselves and hurt their self-
esteem. Their self-esteem will improve when a teacher encourages them, is patient, and
helps them get back on track with learning. There are many factors which can facilitate or
impede development of self esteem.
Self Awareness: Significance
Self-awareness makes us more effective in life. Irrespective of whether we are students,
teachers, parents, literate, illiterate, male, female etc, it enables us to handle ourselves
more effectively. Therefore, developing self awareness is important. Personal
Effectiveness is achieved through the following.
Self development: A self aware person is expected to be one who is conscious of his/her
own strengths and limitations and by so being, wishes to improve his/her strengths and
bring the limitations to a manageable level so that he/she can handle him/herself better.
Since man is a progressive animal, one's self-awareness will certainly help one's self-
development.
Knowing our strengths and weaknesses: Self awareness helps us to exploit our
strengths, and cope with our weaknesses. This is perhaps the most important advantage of
being self-aware. If one has this, it is understandable that one works towards one's
growth. Though this is difficult to achieve, on achieving this, one is sure to move towards
self-growth. This, in turn, enables one to be more effective in life.
Stress management: Self-aware people have an understanding of what can cause stress
for them. Therefore, they either avoid such situations or they develop counter situations
to manage stressful situations. Perhaps, this is the biggest benefit of self-awareness. Thus,
self-aware people learn to manage their stress much better than those who are not aware
of themselves. Thus, it enhances the effectiveness of individuals.
Being objective and realistic in nature: Two virtues of 'self-aware' persons are: being
objective, and realistic in their dealings. Since self-aware people are objective and
realistic in nature, these two attributes can make a person qualitatively much better in
dealing with different situations of life. Thus, the personal effectiveness is enhanced.
Enhancing motivation: Self-awareness is empowering because it can reveal where the
performance problems are and indicate what can be done to improve performance. In
addition, awareness of our psychological needs can increase our motivation by helping us
to understand and seek out the rewards that we really desire. Thus, developing self-
awareness is of great value to human beings. This is the ability seen only among human
beings.

15. 15
Qualities of People Who Possess Self Awareness
People who are aware of their own self possess the following functional qualities.
 Possess a sense of being aware of who they are: People who possess self
awareness are aware of who they are. It is important for all of us to be
aware of who we are in terms of what are we, what are our personal
assets and liabilities, where we are good at and where we are bad etc, etc.
This enables one to wish and aspire for something. This enables one to
plan certain things and ultimately helps one to prioritize one's own life
goals.
 Allows for an understanding of the issue of self control: Self aware
people can understand what they should do and what they should not.
This is because they are aware of their capabilities. They are not
emotionally blind but clear about their real strengths and weaknesses.
Thus, self-awareness allows one to understand the issue of self-control.
This is a very important quality.
 Helps them to express themselves clearly: People who are self-aware can
express clearly, as they do not suffer from any conflict about knowing
themselves.
 Self aware people function fully under their known limits of personality:
Indeed, they can function fully under their known levels/ limits of
abilities and potentialities. All their emotions, needs and feelings are
rooted in a framework of their own limits of personality. Under this
delimiting framework they function to their best.
 Self-aware persons are able to appreciate their own limitations: The
people with self-awareness are those who are capable of appreciating
their own limitations. They do not rush to any activity or assignment if
they are not capable of undertaking. Therefore, they are competent to
recognize their own limitations. This quality is prominent in them.
Because of this, they mess up life much lesser than others who do not
have self awareness.
Key Areas of Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is difficult to achieve, as human beings are complex in nature. To become
more self-aware, we should develop an understanding of ourselves in many areas. Key
areas for self-awareness could include our personality traits, personal values, habits,
emotions, and the psychological needs that drive our behaviours. These areas are indeed
crucial for self-awareness.
Personality: Self-aware persons need to understand themselves as realistically as
possible. An understanding of our personalities can help us find situations in which we
will thrive, and help us avoid situations in which we will experience too much stress.
Personality is a sum total of all our qualities and abilities. An understanding of our own
personality is the essence of self-awareness. If one succeeds in it, he/she will be able to
conduct in tune with their abilities and will suffer from fewer tensions in life. Therefore,

16. 16
personality is the most crucial area for self-awareness.
Values: It's important that we each know and focus on our personal values. People who
are clear about their values and convictions in life tend to be clear about their life goals.
This makes life easier than a situation where, one is confused and does not know what
one has to do in life. If we become aware of our own values in life, it helps us in handling
ourselves in selecting life goals. Thus, values are an important area for self awareness.
Habits: Our habits are the behaviours that we repeat routinely and often automatically.
Although we would like to possess the habits that help us interact effectively with and
manage others, we can all probably identify at least one of our habits that decrease our
effectiveness. Likewise, we also need to identify those habits, which can enhance our
effectiveness. Therefore understanding our habits, both enhancers and impeders, can help
us in developing self-awareness. Thus, this is also an important area of self-awareness.
Needs: Psychologists have identified a variety of psychological needs that drive our
behaviours such as need for esteem, affection, belongingness, achievement, self
actualization, power and control. One of the advantages of knowing, which needs exert
the strongest influence on our own behaviours is the ability to understand how they affect
our interpersonal relationships. For instance, most of us have probably known people
who have a high need for status. They're attracted to high status occupations, and they
seek high status positions within their organizations. Such people also want the things
that symbolize their status. They insist that they be shown respect, and they want
privileges and perks that people of lower status can't have. Sometimes these people fight
for things that others see as inconsequential—like a bigger office. Needs cause
motivation; and when needs aren't satisfied, they can cause frustration, conflict and stress.
Understanding needs of self becomes an important area of self awareness.
Emotions: Emotional self-awareness has become a hot topic of discussion recently
because it's one of the facets of emotional intelligence. Understanding your own
emotions, what causes them, and how they affect your thoughts and actions is emotional
self-awareness. Most of our behaviour is related to our emotional reactions. If we are
aware of our emotional strengths and weaknesses most of our interpersonal problems get
sorted out. The present day world holds this attribute at a high premium in life. This is a
very important area of self awareness.
Components of Self Awareness: Let us now understand the different components of self
awareness. As a skill, it can be understood as a group of components, which together
operate as self-awareness skill. The different components are as follows.
Identifying Strengths and Weaknesses: is the ability to identify one’s own strengths as
well as weaknesses without any personal bias or prejudices. Perhaps this component is
central to self-awareness and self-awareness, as a skill is central to all other life skills.
Identifying one’s own strengths and weaknesses means that one is able to objectively
assess one’s own positive and negative attributes or qualities. By so doing one can be
cautious in accepting responsibilities, plan things properly in handling an assignment and
be realistic in all his activities. This will lead the individual towards success in whatever
one does. Therefore, ability to identify one’s own strengths and weaknesses becomes an
important virtue and a component of self-awareness.

17. 17
The sooner one realizes this in life; the less tense the individual will be in life.
Therefore, Education has an important role to play in developing this ability among
school children. This can lead to solving many problems and confusions in life.
Objective: is the ability to understand one’s own strengths, weaknesses, emotions and
feelings against a set of criteria. As said above, ‘developing objectivity’ in life becomes a
pre-requisite condition for self-assessment. Self-awareness becomes impossible without
this. A person who is not willing to understand himself/herself objectively cannot
develop self-awareness at all. It is because trying to judge things against a set of external
criteria alone can enable one to understand one self.
School education provides a great opportunity for developing objectivity in life. If
this is done well, then it becomes easy for children to apply this in other spheres of life. A
different intellectual perspective will set in. This needs to be developed in all students.
Introspection ability: is the ability to assess one’s own behaviour for their
appropriateness or inappropriateness /adequacy or inadequacy shown in different life
situations. Introspection is a process of seeing within. This will enable one to understand
oneself. This is one of the oldest methods used in psychology. Developing ability to
introspect one’s self, developing ability to analyze one’s own behaviour in different life
situations can enable one not only to understand one’s adequacies and inadequacies, but
also to change himself for the better. Therefore, it is highly desirable that this ability is
developed among students. Schools can do a good job in this area. Conscious efforts need
to be made in this direction.
Accepting Self As It is: is the ability to accept one’s own self as a whole, in terms of
his/her strengths and weaknesses, which makes the person unique. It is not just sufficient
that one understands one’s own strengths and weaknesses, but it is equally necessary that
one learns to accept one’s self in spite of one’s own limitations, Put together a
combination of one’s assets and liabilities. This one must be willing to accept himself/
herself as they are. This is also an important quality in order to remain healthy. This is an
important component of self-awareness.
In the present day society, there are a lot many masks that people use to project
themselves as most competent in order to earn recognition and many other goals in life.
In such a mad rush for unreal world, perhaps, children also will be groomed by society to
imitate elders. This can act as detrimental to realizing one’s own real self. Therefore, on
this component, schools will have to work hard. Life can become less threatening if one
plainly accepts one’s own assets and liabilities straightforward. Therefore, schools have a
big challenge before them.
Openness: is the ability to welcome thoughts or opinions from others if they are useful,
despite they being contradictory to one’s own initial conviction or belief. This too is a
great virtue of self-aware people. In the process of understanding ourselves, most of the
times, we have to get cues from others through their reactions to us. We should be
sensitive to the reactions of others about our views, behaviour and our conduct. Many a
times, it is possible that some of us have certain views rooted so strong in our convictions
that we continue to think they are appropriate.

18. 18
When our views are contradicted by others, an open-minded person will try and
understand others’ views objectively. If the views or reactions of others towards us can
lead us to a better path, an open-minded person will be ready to alter his views and
change for the better. This is how a personality has to conform to group expectations and
grow. Therefore, open-mindedness is an important component of self-awareness.
Children in schools can be enabled to develop this. In fact, all developmental
programmes cover this component. Without this, development becomes lopsided.
Schools have an important role to play in this.
Reflectivity: is the ability to use processes of seeing, understanding, pausing and
evaluating one’s own self in relation to his strengths and weakness in order to improve
one self. Persons who are self-aware are those who are reflective in nature. Here, one
understands one’s own positive and negative attributes, evaluates one’s condition and
attempts to remedy the condition leading to development. As explained above reflection
involves all the elements that are necessary for personal growth. Self-awareness is a pre-
requisite of personal development. For development to take place, reflection becomes a
necessity.
Children need to be trained to develop the ability to reflect about themselves in
terms of what is good, what is bad, what is desirable and what is not desirable. In this
process teachers need to be sharp in schools and be sensitive to the need for developing
reflectivity among learners.
Basic Processes Involved in the Development of Self-Awareness
The basic processes that are involved in developing self-awareness are as follows.
(a) Develop objectivity in life: Stop taking decisions about people and about self
too, subjectively. Develop an intelligent dimension of being objective in life.
Here, one has to assess situation and take decisions based on a set of criteria,
which society accepts. This is what objectivity constitutes. Developing objectivity
in life is the basic step towards developing self-awareness.
(b) Avoid being narcissistic: There is a tendency among every one of us to fall in
love with one’s own abilities, looks, strengths, positive aspects of personality. In
some people, this becomes too much. That excessive self-love is what is called
narcissism. It can be dangerous. It is detrimental to the development of self-
awareness. By developing excessive self-love, we become blind to our own real
drawbacks. Thus, it is important that we avoid being narcissistic.
(c) Learn to be realistic in life: One must learn to accept the social reality of which
one is a part. Therefore, it is desirable that an individual does not contradict the
group norms. Based on the group norms, one needs to be realistic. Therefore, the
opinion of the society/community about us is also to be accepted by us seriously.
This can enable us to remain realistic in life.
(d) Assess your own strengths and weaknesses: Develop the ability to assess your
own strengths and weaknesses as objectively as possible. It may appear to be
difficult to do. But, if one attempts to do it, one can. For this to happen, one must
be willing to keep one’s eyes and ears open to get judgments from others in
society. Invariably in our entire interpersonal interaction situation, we do get
reactions of others. This must be a sufficient feedback for an intelligent person.

19. 19
With these situations, one should be able to assess one’s own strengths and
weaknesses.
(e) Shun developing complexes about yourself: There are different kinds of
complexes people suffer from. These complexes are a kind of mask each one
wears to show a different desirable face to society. For instance, there is a
tendency among some people to show off when they are amidst a group. This is
only to get the attention of others in the group. Trying to show off with jewellery,
wealth, dresses etc are all examples of complexes.
(f) Verify your traits based on different evidence: It is important that we maintain
a learner’s attitude in life and want to grow constantly. If this can exist, then it
becomes easy for one to grow. To do this, one needs to be reflective in life.
Through reflection, one needs to verify one’s traits based on different evidences
one gets in different interaction situations.
g. Accept yourself with all positive and negative attributes: Perhaps the last leg
of self-awareness is to accept oneself with all positive and negative attributes as
belonging to oneself. Accepting that the self is a composition of all good and bad
attributes is healthy. Ability to be conscious of one’s bad qualities is as important
as being conscious of good qualities. Put together, one has to become aware of
one self.
To sum up, self-awareness development can follow certain processes and the result leads
to maturity in life. From here, one needs to work for improving one’s strengths and work
towards taking weaknesses to a manageable level. With this one will be able to move
towards realization of one’s potentialities, which is technically called ‘Self-actualization’.
One needs to be aware of oneself throughout one’s life. Therefore, this is not an
activity, which has a terminal point. Self-awareness is a virtue of intelligent people who
are not only capable of understanding others but also capable of understanding
themselves. It is also a virtue of mature people. Perhaps all other skills develop from self-
awareness, as this is the foundation for other skills. Though it is difficult to achieve, this
should be seriously attempted by all.
In this process, schools have a serious role to play. If all teachers understand the
importance of self-awareness, it becomes easy for them to inculcate the same among
students.

20. 20
MODULE-3
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
1. INTRODUCTION:
Communication is about more than just exchanging information. It's about understanding
the emotion and intentions behind the information. Effective communication is also a
two-way traffic. It’s not only how you convey a message so that it is received and
understood by someone in exactly the way you intended, it’s also how you listen to gain
the full meaning of what’s being said and to make the other person feel heard and
understood. Effective communication combines a set of skills including non-verbal
communication, engaged listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to
communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own
emotions and those of the person you’re communicating with.
While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s
spontaneous rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same
impact as a speech that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course,
it takes time and effort to develop these skills and become an effective communicator.
The more effort and practice you put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your
communication skills will become.
This module presents the theoretical concept and various aspects surrounding
effective communication, strategies and procedures for effective communication skills,
indicates scope for location and integration of the skills in different subject areas and the
process of ascertaining to what extent the individual has acquired the skills of effective
communication. The main objective of this session is to promote effective
communication skills to cope with day to day life.
2. OBJECTIVES:
After reading this module, you will be able to
 Understand the concept and nature of effective communication.
 Explain the various aspects of effective communication.
 Explain the importance of effective communication in one’s life.
 Develop the skills to transact effective communication skills to students.
 Locate scope for integration of the skills in different subject areas.
 Assess the level of acquisition of the communication skills.
3. TRANSACTIONAL MODEL
Discussion Points Process
Nature of
Effective
Communication
The R.P defines effective communication as a set of skills that are
essential in every sphere of human interaction. Effective
communication is the respectful exchange of thoughts, feelings, and
belief between a speaker and a listener in such a way that the
listener interprets the message in the same way as the speaker
intends it. For making participants understand the nature of
effective communication, the following activity will be organized.

21. 21
Activity (Worksheet)
Ask trainees to suggest words and phrases that help define effective
communication:
Write their responses on Chart paper, perhaps as an idea cluster.
Such as:
1. Responding Right:
2. Right behaviour is often a response to stimulus
Having understood the nature of effective communication skills in
children and having formulated an operational definition of
effective communication to guide us to train our children, let us
proceed to know some of the important components that attribute to
develop and build healthy inter-personal relationship.
Components The R.P takes the lead in discussion using slides and presents
through power point to consolidate the following components
through lecture method:
Verbal Skill Body Language
languageLanguage
r
Social Skills
To be an Effective
Communicator, Perfect your
Skills
Listening Responding
Stimulus Pause Response
Assertive Passive Aggressive

22. 22
Listening, positive attitude, approach, resolving conflicts,
assertiveness, clarity, feedback, empathy, sympathy, sensitivity etc.
Non verbal skills: Gesture , posture and sensitivity
Significance The R.P allots 3 minutes to think about the importance of effective
communication and invites randomly to make presentations.
The R.P then takes the lead in discussion using slides and presents
through power point to bring home the importance of effective
communication.
NOTE: Communication is a process of sharing or exchanging
concepts, experiences, facts, information, ideas, opinions,
sentiments, attitudes, thoughts, feelings, etc. between individuals
through mutually agreeable or known (verbal or non-verbal) media.
This is a very important skill for building up an effective contact
between two or more persons. It must be applied effectively in
personal, social and professional life. It can make life smooth and
healthy. If one can keep balance in ones’ own mind, it can have a
positive impact on others. Or, it may result in misunderstanding,
despair and disaster in mutual relationship.
Effective communication combines a set of skills including non-
verbal communication, engaged listening, managing stress at the
moment, the ability to communicate assertively, and the capacity to
recognize and understand your own emotions and those of the
person you’re communicating with.
Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your
connections to others and improve teamwork, decision making, and
problem solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or
difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.
Process of
Developing
Effective
Communication
We can train in effective communication, resolving conflicts, and
sensitize them to the importance of other components.
As there is no standardized procedure for developing
communication skills – we have to sensitize our students to
different components of effective communication through role-
play, brainstorming and discussion and then think of a need-based
specialized training program in specific components of effective
communication.
 The R.P explains how, with excellent communication skills
we can handle critical situations. Communication provides
better ways to understand others or explain things.

23. 23
 To help trainees understand the importance of non-verbal
communication and how misunderstanding develops if the
communication is not proper.
Questions :
1. What happens if you don't use clear communication skills and
the other person misunderstands your message?
2. Have you ever seen incidents where poorly given or rushed
instructions may be worse than none at all?
The R.P then divides the participants into groups of three or four
and asks them to consider different scenarios that illustrate use of
words, facial expressions and body language for maximum effect or
how communication is possible without words.
The RP will consolidate the points in following lines.
 Effective communication is the most important component
for a successful life.
 Successful communications skills can solve complex
problems.
 Through successful communication one can understand or
explain situations in a better way.
 Children learn by modeling the behaviour of adults and
other significant people around them. If we are able to take
care of etiquette so will our children.
Practice The R.P undertakes certain activities to introduce intervention for
the components of :
Component: Basic Communication Skills
Strategies Proposed: Role-Play, each followed by discussion.
Objective: To practice certain basic communication skills
Process:
 Invite the participants to sit on the floor/chair in a circle.
 Explain that they will practice some basic communication
skills.
 Pass a container, full of slips of paper, around the circle.
 Ask each participant to pick one slip.
 Ask them to read the slip and prepare themselves for the
exercise. Allow 5-10 minutes to prepare (individually).
 Then, start at one end of the circle, and ask the participant to
give a response to the situation written on the slip.
 Explain that they can choose a partner to do the exercise.
Complete the circle.

24. 24
 After each presentation, ask for feedback and suggestions.
After the exercise is over, facilitate a discussion in the large group
using the following questions:
1. How did you feel doing this exercise? Why?
2. In a real-life situation, would you be able to use these skills?
Why/Why not?
3. Have you ever discussed these kinds of issues in your circle of
friends/peer group?
4. Would you like to share some of the experiences?
5. What are the basic requirements of good communication?
Note for the Facilitator:
Response Scenario
(Participants will acquire some of the basic communication skills
required. This exercise creates confidence among the participants
concerning their ability to communicate on various issues of
concern. You can create similar exercises to enable them to
converse and connect.)
1. Your friend is confused about selection and wants your advice on
this.
2. Your friend is worried that s/he is becoming obese and wants to
know what s/he should do.
3. Your friend always participates in sports, but her/his parents
want him to concentrate more on studies. S/he asks for your advice.
4. You have a test next day but your friend wants you to come to
her/his birthday party in the evening
5. You are feeling tired but your friend wants you to talk to
him/her. 6. Your friend feels it is very stylish to have a mobile
phone and is forcing her/his parents to buy her/him one.
7. Your friend throws away her/his tiffin whenever it contains
chapati/ paratha/idlis/rice and vegetables. S/he just likes to eat
noodles, sandwiches, burgers and such things.
8. Your friend never goes out to play and spends her/his time in
watching cartoons or serials. S/he has to wear spectacles also.
9. Your senior has been unkind and rude and you need to talk to a
friend about the best course of action against bullying.
10. Your friend is being teased, bullied and made fun of by a senior
boy. You decide to help.
11. Your friend feels it is fine to smoke and drink once in a while.

25. 25
Barriers to
Communication
12. Your friend feels it is necessary to have a boyfriend / girlfriend
else you are not cool.
Tips for R.P: Discuss the concept of “basic communication skills”
after discussing the appropriateness.
The RP discusses the topic through interactions:
Stress and out-of-control emotion. When you’re stressed or
emotionally overwhelmed, you’re likely to misread other people,
send confusing or off-putting non-verbal signals, and lapse into
unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behaviour. Take a moment to calm
down before resuming a conversation.
Lack of focus. You can’t communicate effectively when you’re
multitasking. If you’re planning what you’re going to say next,
daydreaming, checking text messages, or thinking about something
else, you’re almost certain to miss non-verbal cues in the
conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment
experience.
Inconsistent body language. Non verbal communication should
reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing,
but your body language says something else, your listener may feel
you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes” while
shaking your head no.
Negative body language. If you disagree with or dislike what’s
being said, you may use negative body language to rebuff the other
person’s message, such as crossing your arms, avoiding eye
contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree, or even like
what’s being said, but to communicate effectively without making
the other person defensive, it’s important to avoid sending negative
signals.
The RP explains the ways to become an engaged listener through
PPT presentation:
People often focus on what they should say, but effective
communication is less about talking and more about listening.
Listening means not just understanding the words or the
information being communicated, but also understanding the
emotions the speaker is trying to communicate.
There’s a big difference between engaged listening and simply
hearing. When you really listen—when you’re engaged with what’s
being said—you’ll hear the subtle intonations in someone’s voice
that tell you how that person is feeling and the emotions they’re
trying to communicate. When you’re an engaged listener, not only
will you better understand the other person, you’ll also make that

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How to improve
Communication
Skills
person feel heard and understood, which can help build a stronger,
deeper connection between the two.
By communicating in this way, you’ll also experience a process
that lowers stress and supports physical and emotional well-being.
If the person you’re talking to is calm, for example, listening in an
engaged way will help to calm you, too. Similarly, if the person is
agitated, you can help calm them by listening attentively and
making the person feel understood.
Integrating skill
of effective
communication in
school subjects
The R.P divides the participants into small groups .Each group
consists of 4-5 members, preferably teaching the same subject. The
facilitator poses a question/problem to each group and assigns
Group Discussion. They will also design activities and situations to
demonstrate the given issues. The members in their group will
discuss the assigned “Question” and a few members from each
group would come and present their views and act out the situations
in front of all the members.
Group Component Question For G.D
I Non-verbal
communicatio
n
How communication is possible
without words?
(Situation: You have heard the alert
of an approaching earthquake on TV
and now you want your friends to
leave their homes with essentials and
go to a shelter)
II Assertiveness What are the advantages and
disadvantages of being assertive?
III Listening Why do you think listening is an
important element in effective
communication? Emphasize that the
difference between hearing and
listening is that listening has an
objective while hearing is general.
R.P leads discussion by facilitating the views of other groups and
seeks their opinions. Further, the groups are assigned the task of
inventing similar interventions for the rest of the components. Then
the R.P invites some of the members to make presentations.

27. 27
Assessment Effective Communication Scale:
-Give one of the following situations to be enacted by each person.
-Observe the ability to communicate and assess it using the scale
given below. The context/ activities are:
 Pick and speak activity
 A group discussion on gender discrimination
 A class picnic
 Friends talking about their school
5-Point Rating Scale
1 2 3 4 5
Very
Good
Good Just OK Poor Very poor
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
1 Confidenc
e
2 Clarity of
thoughts
3 Clarity of
message
4 Command
of
language
5 Use of
body
postures
6 Use of
gesture
7 Listening
to others
8 Courtesy
9 Quickness
in reaction
10 Ability to
receive
feedback
from
others
11 Effective
use of
tonal
variations

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12 Overall
effectiven
ess
Note: Items 1-12 are the criteria, while columns 1-10 indicate
students who would be evaluated.
Scoring: if all items are rated 1, then a person is an excellent
communicator.
4. RESOURCE MATERIAL FOR PARTICIPANTS
Meaning and Importance
Can you think of a society where there is no need of communication? In day-to-day
life we keep communicating with people around us. In communication, we share the
information we have and get information from others. This 'give and take' relationship
will be successful and effective if we know how to convey our thoughts to others. In
every communication, there is some loss of information. Hence effective communication
implies two things: first, the clarity with which we organize our ideas for presentation
and second, the force with which we put across our thoughts to others. Thus effective
communication simply means the reduction of loss of information in transmission of the
message. Let us say, you want to convey something to a friend. If you are able to convey
all the information and get the expected response, your communication could be said to
be successful. But that is not always the case. The listener may miss some aspects and
still feel that he/she has got everything. You will know the missing links only when you
get the response. Let us, for example, assume that we entrust our ward with ten tasks for
the day. At the end of the day, the child completes only six and still feels happy that all
the tasks are attended to. That the four tasks are yet to be completed does not become
important for the child at all. Perhaps it reflects on our own communication skills. We
have not been able to convey the idea that all the ten tasks needed to be completed before
the end of the day. Mere uttering of the message does not mean comprehension on the
other end. We cannot assume that our responsibilities are over once we utter the message.
It is also our duty to ensure that they are understood the way we want them to.
The Mechanics of Communication
A communicative situation has the following participants in it:
The sender of the message
The receiver of the message
The sender encodes a message in some language or medium, either verbal or non-
verbal and transmits it to the receiver. The receiver receives it, comprehends it after
decoding the message and gives feedback to the sender. Now the person giving the
feedback becomes the sender of the message. Thus the senders and the receivers keep
changing their roles as the situation demands. However, what needs to be noted is that
there could be some disturbances in the process of communication. Technically this is
called NOISE. Due to this NOISE, the message may not be understood as intended.
There could be some disturbing sound, which does not allow intelligible listening; the
listener could be mentally distracted and so on. The challenge before the sender of the

29. 29
message is to convey the maximum meaning with minimum effort. So he/she will have to
plan the mode of communication, i.e., encoding, to suit the needs of the listener/receiver.
If a teacher has failed in reaching out to his/her students, he/she has failed in
communicating; if a student fails in an examination, she/he has failed in either organizing
the information or presenting it; if a child does not follow the instructions given, either
we have failed in conveying our intent or the child has failed to get what is
communicated.
Thus, even the inability on the part of the receiver may hamper communication. But
as communicators, we do not have any direct control over the listeners. All that we can
do for ensuring successful communication is to make use of all the facilities available to
us to match the content of communication and the ability of the listener. So when we
think of effective communication, we are essentially thinking of enhancing our own
communicative abilities, using the tools available to us to make our communication as
effective as possible. Thus the focus of any training programme on effective
communication is the trainee himself/herself. It is from this angle that the components of
effective communication are discussed in this module.
A communicative situation involves
- the sender of the message
- the receiver of the message
- encoding in some medium
- decoding
- feedback
- NOISE or disturbances
- restructuring of the message
To make the main concern simpler, we can say that the basic objective of the sender
of the message is to reduce the effect of disturbances by planning the encoding process
appropriately. Hence, there is a need to understand what the main components of
effective communications are.
Components of Effective Communication
Analytic Ability: is the ability to analyze different components of a piece of information,
in order to understand its content. The moment we hear some information, we think about
it. Let us say we are waiting for a bus. We need to reach some place by about 10:30 am.
It is already 10:00 am. It is announced that the bus has been cancelled. What do we do?
We need to take a quick decision about the mode of transport. We have the options of
engaging a taxi, an auto, walking and asking someone to drop us there. Unless we think
of the urgency of the situation and the likely result of taking a particular mode of
transport, we may not be able to take a decision. Suddenly we realize that we may not be
able to reach the spot by 10:30 am. If we do not reach in time, we may be making
someone wait for us. Instead, we take a decision to communicate to the people waiting
for us that we are likely to be delayed by half an hour or so.

30. 30
In the above example, a small piece of communication came as the result of a
large amount of thinking. We analyzed the announcement made in terms of its
consequences and made some communication. Every response has some analysis in it.
When we enter into a bargain with the vegetable seller, we keep analyzing every
utterance of the shopkeeper, in order to impress upon him the need to reduce prices.
Analysis has in it aspects of critical thinking and decision making. While analyzing we
ask typical questions like 'what does this mean to me?', 'what will be the result of this?',
'what could be the most effective response to the message received?' etc.
Synthetic Ability: is the ability to integrate different pieces of information available in
different domains, thereby creating a meaningful picture of different sets of information
into an organized whole. Let's say, we hear news about an accident of a bus that has left
your city late night. You also know that one of your friends was travelling in that bus.
What does your mind do now? It automatically connects the well being of your friend
and the accident. In other words, the mind synthesizes two pieces of information to
understand the reality. Whatever information we hear gets integrated into the already
existing information.
The act of synthesizing helps us in understanding different dimensions of an issue or
some happening. Think of the advertisements that have attracted you. What do they do?
They simply synthesize seemingly unconnected things to create a meaningful picture of
their message. When we listen to speeches, we keep on synthesizing the information that
we receive to create meaningful pictures of what we hear. If a speaker does not allow his
audience time to synthesize, the interested audience may feel strained and stressed while
the disinterested audience may feel bored.
Expressive Skills: Refers to the ability to present one's thoughts/ideas/feelings as
effectively as possible through the use of spoken or written language apart from/along
with the use of gestures. Every act of communication is an effort at presenting whatever
we have in our minds to others. We use the language either in the written form or oral, we
also make use of body movements to convey our intent. The success of communication
depends on the mastery of the communicator over the expressive skills.
Non-verbal Skills: Refers to the ability to express and understand thoughts/ideas/
feelings through body postures, facial expressions and actions without the use of
language. Non-verbal skills are also meant for enhancing the effect of communication,
but here the language is not used. Many a time we may have to express our thoughts
through body postures, facial expression or actions. When we talk to people who are hard
of hearing, we use non-verbal skills. Sometimes non-verbal communication may prove to
be more effective than verbal communication. When a teacher is unhappy with the work
of his/her students, silence and a grim facial expression can speak more than an outburst.
Postures: Refers to the general way of holding the body, especially back, shoulders and
head when standing, walking or sitting which keep conveying some meaning. Just think
how you stand before your elders or higher ups or before people that you respect. Also
think of the way you move with your close friends. Compare and think how you conduct
your body in these two situations. The way we hold the body, back and shoulders is
called the posture. Recall the body postures of the players of a winning team and the team
that is defeated. Think of a bowler who is totally demoralized by the batsman. Recall his

31. 31
body postures. The moment we see the posture we know that he has accepted defeat. But
think of the same person when the team is winning. The body posture changes. Whether
we consciously think of it or not, our body keeps communicating some meaning to
others. Our boredom, enthusiasm, concern, diffidence, confidence, involvement, anger,
happiness are all conveyed through our body without our intending it. In order to enhance
the effectiveness of communication if postures serve as impediments, one need to be
conscious of that and deliberately makes efforts to change. In order to do this, one need to
be sensitive to this and attempt to change his/her postures.
Gestures: is the ability to use the movement of the body appropriately especially hands
and arms to enhance the intent of communication. Have you seen people moving their
hands and arms while they speak? Your hands try to make a visual presentation of what
you have in your mind. When you shrug your shoulders, others know that you are not
interested / least interested. Movements of the hands should synchronize with the
thoughts that are expressed through language. Mismatched verbal expression and
gestures will lead to confusions among your audience and make communication
ineffective.
Presentation: is the ability to express thoughts / ideas / feelings formally as suitable to
the demands of different types of situations. Let us say we are talking about the issue of
communalism in our country. What we talk among friends and what we talk to a group of
strangers on the same topic would be different. Also, if we were to give a talk on the
subject, our presentation would be entirely different. It would be more formal, quoting
evidence to justify the statements we make. But when with friends, we may not be very
keen on quoting evidence. Presentation changes from situation to situation. We should be
able to judge the demands of the situation that we are a part of.
Assertiveness: is the ability to put across one's views persuasively with a strong sense of
conviction. Assertion is standing up for personal rights and expressing thoughts, feelings
and beliefs in direct, honest, and appropriate ways that do not violate another person's
rights. While asserting we are keen on making our stands very clear. Others may or may
not follow what we say. But they will definitely know what we mean. The ideal of an
assertive communication is that it is followed or accepted. In any assertive
communication, there is logic, evidence, conviction, firmness and use of choicest words.
Assertion skills help you stand up for yourself, express feelings directly, improve
relationships, give compliments, give criticism, make requests, say no and set limits.
Assertive body language includes: (a) maintaining direct eye contact, (b) maintaining an
erect posture, (c) speaking clearly and audibly, (d) not using a soft, whiny, or muffled
voice, and (e) using facial expressions and gestures to add emphasis to your words.
Creativity: is the ability to use alternative ways to reach out to people suitably and
successfully. The purpose of communication is to establish links with others. We must be
able to convey our ideas to others and receive ideas from others. Sometimes, there could
be some disturbances. In such situations, we need to think of alternative ways of
communicating. A creative teacher makes use of teaching aids to make classroom
communication more effective. Avoiding stereotypes, not repeating the same ideas/jokes,
acting on the spur of the moment, using analogies, examples, stories in talks are instances
of creativity in communication.

32. 32
Objectivity: is the ability to participate in a communicative situation without any
preconceived notions about persons involved or the content of communication. It so
happens that we have impressions of people in us. When we talk to them, we tend to
draw conclusions based on our impressions. This might seriously affect communication.
Can we listen to the communicator, without being bothered by our impressions of
him/her? A politician that we do not like much comes to our area and takes up some
rainwater harvesting projects. He keeps meeting people to develop awareness among
them. He meets you. Are you going to listen to him or not? If your mind thinks that he is
after all a politician/a professional liar etc., you may not listen to him. But if you forget
all those impressions and listen to him for the worth of what he is talking about at the
moment, you will not only receive his ideas, you may even give him some ideas. This is
being objective; Communication is more beneficial when we are objective while
receiving or sending messages.
Sensitivity: is the ability to be sensitive to the feelings of others in social situations in
order to communicate effectively. Assume that you are the last speaker in a programme
that has dragged on till late evening. Everyone is eager to go. However, you have
something important to tell the audience. You need at least 60 minutes to present your
ideas. You were given 60 minutes time. You are well prepared. But the audiences are
bored and they want to leave. What are you going to do? Well, what you will do depends
on how sensitive you are to their feelings and to what extent you are compelled to present
your ideas. If you are very keen on completing your presentations, you may think of
different ways of making your talk lively. You may even think of some activities for
them. If you do not have any compulsions to complete your talk, you may even drop it or
finish your talk within five minutes. In both these cases, you are considering your
audience and their receptivity. Those who are insensitive will continue with the
presentations they have prepared, whatever the feelings of their audience. Sensitivity to
the audience brings success to the communicator. It is important that we consider the
feelings, needs and preferences of our audience while communicating.
Patient Listening: is the ability to receive auditory inputs with full respect in a sustained
manner in any conversation, without interrupting others, until they are completed. Patient
listening implies listening with full respect or sustained listening, not interrupting the
speaker. It may so happen that those who are talking to us may be very repetitive. We
may be getting bored. Still, we need to respect their ways. We cannot afford to offend
them by just walking away or showing disgust on our face. There is always a possibility
that some useful point will come through in between. We need to listen to people. We
need not jump into conclusions the moment we get some ideas of what the other person is
saying. Let him/her complete. Patient listening increases our acceptability as participants
in a communicative situation.
Imaginability: is the ability to foresee consequences of a communicative situation, which
enables one to modulate the communication suitably. A close friend of yours calls you
over phone and invites you for tea. You are very happy and receive the invitation
immediately. After sometime you remember that you have another appointment at the
same time. Now you are compelled to skip one of the programmes. Instead, if you had
asked just one question the moment your friend uttered his/her invitation the problem
would have been over. You could have imagined what work you have at that time or how

33. 33
would the time spent at your friend's place affect your routine. Successful
conversationists are good at imagining the consequences of their utterances or the
utterances of others. That is why they are able to change their strategies to suit the
demands of the situation. Imaginabillty gives them flexibility. They can always think of
alternatives. They are confident because they can foresee their future.
Reacting on the Spur of the Moment: is the ability to react to any situation
instantaneously, making sense. When you are listening to a lecture, you hear some
adverse comments on the issue of gender discrimination. You immediately stand up and
oppose the idea. This small act of opposing can have different dimensions. You could just
register a protest, you could draw the attention of others to the issue, you could present
evidence and present in such a way that everyone has to accept what you say. In any case,
you let everyone know that you are not with the idea. All these depend on your ability to
react on the spur of the moment. If you do not react immediately, there is a possibility
that the speaker will take your opinion for granted. Think of a speaker who gives many
examples and says analogy stories to support his stream of thinking. All that he/she is
doing is to act on the spur of the moment. The more we develop this ability, the more
acceptable are our spur of the moment reactions.
Steps of Communication Process
Let us now try to list the actual process of communication based on its features listed
above.
Any act of communication involves the following steps.
1. Identifying the need for communication - it could either be a result of our
listening to others or we may have to say something to others.
2. Thinking of suitable medium for communicating - it could be the language to be
used, gestures, audiovisual support etc.
3. Encoding the messages in the medium identified - this should be easy enough for
the listener to decode. So encoding really depends on our assessment of the
listeners' abilities to decode and comprehend.
4. Planning support system - like non-verbal behaviour or material that would
strengthen the effect of communication. We would like to overcome disturbances.
So effective communication tries to appeal to all the sense organs, making
perception of our message a holistic experience.
5. Presentation - actual conveying of our message in the medium chosen.
6. Observing and looking for feedback - Observing the verbal and no-verbal
responses of those who we are communicating to. This is actually a feedback to
us on the effectiveness of our own communication.
7. Modifying the encoded message so as to overcome the gaps observed in the
first attempt at communicating - sometimes we may realize that our attempt at
communication is not achieving its goal. It is time we re-encode the message.
Look at the following example.

34. 34
Mechanic: Look, it's working fine now.
You What?! What's working fine?
(Now, the mechanic has to understand that the word 'it' has not conveyed the
required meaning. She/he will have to now explain it)
Mechanic: I am talking about the pump. It has started lifting water.
You: Oh! Good!
(Supposing you understood what the mechanic meant by 'it' right in the beginning,
he need not have modified the message.)
8. Presentation of the modified message - This act of modifying and re-presenting
will continue until the intent of communication is achieved.
These steps are almost self explanatory. You will notice that these steps go with the
model that we had discussed in the beginning of this unit: i.e., the sender encodes the
message, transmitting it through some medium, the receiver decoding the message and
giving feedback and the sender modifying the original message. Messages need to be
restructured because of the disturbances in communication, which is called NOISE.
The basic question in any act of communication is 'how to overcome the effect of
NOISE?'
It is in this regard that we need to consider different components of communication
and see how best we can make the skills related to those components a part of our
communicative behaviour.
Developing Effective Communication Skills among Learners
Developing effective communication skills necessarily involves the creation of
communicative situations either real or simulated. This helps the learners develop
insights into the processes of communication. Giving appropriate feedback to the learners
would be an important aspect. For giving a good feedback, we will have to observe the
act of communication at its delivery points. Let us now ask questions like this: How did
he/she approach the stranger? What was his/her instant remark? Was he/she polite? Did
he/she restructure his/her presentation to make the communication more meaningful? We
will get answers to these questions only when we observe the very act of communication.
Many of the components listed above are internal processes, preparing a person to
communicate. The act of communication is a cumulative result of all those processes.
This has to be kept in mind while giving feedback to the learners.

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MODULE-4
INTER-PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
1. INTRODUCTION:
An interpersonal relationship is a strong, deep, or close association or acquaintance
between two or more people that may range in duration from brief to enduring. This
association may be based on inference, love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or
some other type of social commitment. To be human is to be involved in interpersonal
relationships. Interpersonal relationships are social connections with others. We
experience a variety of interpersonal relationships on a daily basis with family, friends,
significant others and people at our workplace. While every relationship is unique, there
are some common themes that influence the health and continuation of all relationships.
Inter-personal relationship skills help us to relate in positive ways with the people
we interact with. This may mean being able to make and keep friendly relationships,
which can be of great importance to our mental and social well-being. It may mean
keeping good relations with family members, who are an important source of social
support. It may also mean being able to end relationships constructively.
This module presents the theoretical concept and various aspects surrounding inter-
personal relationships, strategies and procedures for transacting inter-personal skills
without any confusion, indicates scope for locating and integration of the skills in
different subject areas and the process of ascertaining to what extent the individual has
acquired the interpersonal skills.
2. OBJECTIVES:
After reading this module, you will be able to
 Understand the concept and nature of interpersonal relationships.
 Explain various aspects/components of interpersonal relationships.
 Explain the significance of interpersonal relationship in life.
 Develop the skills to transact the different techniques and strategies which can be
used in developing good interpersonal skills.
 Locate scope for integration of the skills in different subject areas.
 Assess the level of acquisition of the interpersonal skills.
3. TRANSACTIONAL MODEL
Discussion
Points
Process
Concept of
inter-personal
relationship
(IR)
The R.P defines Interpersonal relationship as ‘a set of skills
which are essential for establishing and maintaining healthy
relationships.
Activity (Worksheet)
Ask trainees to suggest words and phrases that help define
interpersonal relationships.

36. 36
Write their responses on Chart paper, perhaps as an idea cluster.
Such as:
The R.P will discuss the various words that form the basis of
interpersonal relationship.
2. Identify the people with whom you have relations and arrange
them in order of preference :
The R.P will discuss the importance of people with whom a
person maintains relationship.
Having understood the nature of inter personal relationship skills
in children and having formulated an operational definition of
inter-personal relationship to guide us to train our children, let
us proceed to know some of the important components that
attribute to developing and building healthy inter- personal
relationships.
Components The R.P takes the lead in discussion using slides and presents
through power point to consolidate the following components
through lecture method:
Interpersonal
relationship
loyalty
faith
honesty
confidence
lovewarmth
trust
opens up
channels of
communication
confidentialit
y
Others
Family
Me !!

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Empathy, sympathy, Sensitivity, Tolerance, Positive Attitude,
Accepting others as they are, reciprocity, Etiquette, Healthy
Distance, lack of Prejudice and Stereotypes and Effective
Communication
Significance The R.P allots 3 minutes of time to think about the importance
of interpersonal relationship skills and invites participants
randomly to make presentations.
The R.P then takes the lead in discussion using slides and
presents through power point to consolidate the importance of
interpersonal skills.
Note: Relationships are vitally important in all spheres of life
and people create relationships for all sorts of reasons. The basic
reason is we need to. Though we think of ourselves as
independent and self reliant, the fact is that each one of us is a
point in a vast network of inter-dependent relationships.
We create relationships because we are social by nature and
value relationships as end in themselves. We establish
relationships at school, place of work, place of worship, next
door, the health club etc. i,e. at any place or in any activity
where common interests bring people together. We do so
because of our inner urge to be with others.
This urge is strengthened by voices of authority and tradition but
sustaining a healthy bond in our relationships depends largely on
our interpersonal relationship skills.
Of course, relationships based on application of certain skills
and pleasing personality alone, without character, will be short
lived and make life miserable. In short, a lasting, winning
combination requires pleasing personality, character and ability
to establish as well as sustain good interpersonal relationships.
Such people are likely to be good at making and keeping healthy
relationships.
Process of
Developing
Interpersonal
Skills
We can train in effective communication, resolving conflicts,
etiquettes, maintaining healthy distance and sensitize them to the
importance of other components.
As there is no standardized procedure for building interpersonal
relationship – we have to sensitize our students to different
components of I.R through role play, brainstorming and
discussion and then think of a need based specialized training
program in specific components of I.R.
 The R.P explains when something is important to us, we
say we value it.

38. 38
 He/she asks the trainees to think of something that they
valued, yet did not take care of it.
 The R.P then explains that we sometimes do the same in
our relationships with family and friends.
Questions :
1. What do you do to show that you value a friendship or a
family relationship?
2. What makes you feel that someone does not value your
relationship with him/ her?
The R.P then divides the participants into groups of three or four
and asks them to consider different scenarios that illustrate a
bothersome quality that someone has. Time allotted is 5
minutes.
Each group makes a presentation followed by discussion.
 Participants will learn that a web of relationships exist in
everyone’s life.
 Participants will become aware that these relationships
can be tapped and supported to create a web of support
and care for people around us.
Practice The R.P undertakes certain activities for introducing
intervention for the components of interpersonal relationships:
Component: Etiquette
Objective: To sensitize students to the importance of good
‘manners’ in nurturing good interpersonal relationships.
Strategies Proposed: Brainstorming and then Role-Play, each
followed by discussion.
Issue for Brain Storming: “Which etiquettes are likely to foster
healthy interpersonal relationships?”
Context, Essence and Background of the Role-Play:
Saria’s classmates went to attend his brother’s wedding. A few
of them created a lot of disturbances by playing pranks at others
and by making loud comments about some guests. They didn’t
care to give respect to the elders who were present there. They
were boisterous and impolite even during dinner. Other students
were polite, showed respect to the elders and even scolded their
classmates for not behaving properly and creating problems
there. The students who showed good manners impressed
everyone present there. Since then, Saria never mixed with those
who did not know how to behave in a social function. In fact, all
the children avoided them.

39. 39
Tips for R.P: Discuss the concept of ‘good manners’ after
discussing the appropriateness or otherwise of the behavior of
two groups of students in the marriage party.
Development of
Intervention
The R.P divides the participants into small groups .Each group
consisting 4-5 members, preferably teaching the same subject.
The facilitator poses a question/problem to each group and
assigns Group Discussion. The members in their group will
discuss the assigned “Question” and one member from each
group would come and present their views in front of all the
members.
Group Component Issue
I Tolerance In which situation, tolerance is likely
to determine the nature of
interpersonal relationship?
II Sensitivity What are the different ways in which
sensitivity to other’s feelings
manifest itself?
III Empathy What are the different ways in which
one individual can show that he/she
really cares for another individual?
R.P leads the discussion by facilitating the views of other groups
and seeks their opinions. Further, the groups are assigned the
task of inventing similar interventions for the rest of the
components. Then the R.P invites some of the members to make
presentations.
Integration
Issues
The R.P asks the same groups to locate scope for integration of
the different components in their own subject areas taking into
consideration the Chapters enlisted in their Text Books.
(Limitation: Participants may not find enough scope for
integration of certain components in some of the Chapters)
Assessment Interpersonal Distance Scale
Everyone has his/her own likes and dislikes. In the first column,
write the names of your classmates. Against each one, you have
to indicate whether you like him or her most, ‘neutral toward
him or her’ dislike him/her or dislike the most. Please give your
honest answer I assure that your answer will not be shown to
anybody.

40. 40
Name: Class:
Date of birth: Date:
School:
Name of
your
Classmat
e
I like
him/her
the
most
I like
him/he
r
I am
neutral
toward
him/he
r
I
dislike
him/he
r
I dislike
him/her
the most
Interpersonal Distance Scale-scoring Pattern
Step 1 Give a score of +2 for I like him/her the most
+1 I like him/her
0 for neutral
-1for I dislike him/her
-2 for I dislike him/her the most
Step 2: Obtain an average score for every member of the group.
(this can be done by adding all the scores given by every
member of the group and dividing it by the total number of the
group)
Step 3: From the average, one can understand whether he/she is
liked or disliked by the group.
4. RESOURCE MATERIAL FOR PARTICIPANTS
Meaning and Importance
Relationships are vitally important in all spheres of life and people create
relationships for all sorts of reasons. The’ most basic reason is we need to. Though we
think of ourselves as independent and self-reliant, the fact is that each one of us is a
point in a vast network of interdependent relationships. We create relationships
because we are social by nature and value relationships ascend in themselves. We
establish relationships at school, place of work, place of worship, next door, the health
club i.e. at any place or in any activity where common interests bring people together.
We do so because of our inner urge to be with others. This urge is strengthened by
voices of authority and tradition. But sustaining a healthy bond in our relationships
depends largely on our interpersonal relationship skills.