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Life Lessons withGrandma Hood <br />

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I was layin’ in bed one day, sick as a wolf. All of a sudden a loud knock on the door interrupted the latest episode of Days of Our Lives. I wasn’t expecting Little Red until lunchtime, so the knocking was unexpected. <br />

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I hollered “COME IN!” not thinkin’ it could be anyone but Red. But wouldn’t you know it, I smelled that ol’ wolf the second he set his dirty paw on my freshly mopped floor. <br />

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Well, I did what anyone would do and jumped right on into the cupboard where I kept Ol’ Bessy, my trusty shotgun. <br />I hear that sorry excuse of a dog rummagin’ around in my bedroom so I peak through the cracks to see what he was messin’ up. Wouldn’t you know it, that wolf was a cross-dresser, and was crawlin’ into my bed in my moo-moo and night cap. What a creep. <br />

5.
I was getting’ ready to go for the kill when Little Red stepped into my line of fire. Well, now I had to change my game plan quick. <br />As I crawled out of the cupboard, Ol’ Bessy in hand, I hear that creep talkin’ to Little Red, no doubt lurin’ her in for his next meal. Sure enough, that dog jumps out of my bed, makin my Little Red cry.<br />I got that dirty wolf in my crosshairs… aimed…and… POW!<br />

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I killed him dead. Well wouldn’t you know it, it ain’t wolf season. Not wanting to get thrown in the brigg, Red and I came up with the version of this story I’m sure you’re more familiar with. Little old helpless me gets eaten by the big bad wolf, and the brave hunter saves the day, blah blah blah. <br />As we sat down to finish my soap, I said to Red, “Well Red, I hope you learnt somethin’ from this… Never leave home without your Ol’ Bessy.”<br />THE END <br />